but the answer is simple. Love is a mix tape

It's easier to have tender, nostalgic feelings about a lost love when he agrees to stay lost. When he doesn't keep poking his head back above ground like a tenacious prairie dog with a death wish, exposing himself to threats of bobcats and hawks and jealous prairie dog exes. (See Exhibit A.)

Exhibit A

It's easier to think it was all fine, normal, and just a phase (in the past)--if it stays there. If he doesn't keep knocking at the door like he hasn't got a clue, or a life in the present. Like a ...  mutton for punishment. (See Exhibit B.)

Exhibit B

So he's on my mind, against my will. And I'm listening to the music from those days, trying to break the spell. Hoping that the progression from 'smitten' to 'head over heels' to 'in too deep' to 'what the f~#+?' will shake me loose. Here's how it goes (in abbreviated form)....


"I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad"

"Make a circle in the sand

Make a halo with your hands

I'll make a place for you to land"

"And all you see

Is where else you could be

When you're at home

Out on the street

Are so many possibilities

To not be alone"

"You never cut me deep enough to tell you no.
Ohhhh tell me you love me,
It'll hurt a lot worse when you go."

"I'll be the one to pick you up again

When you decide you've had enough of it

I'll be the one"

"I'm trying hard to never see you leave again

You know it was faith

Say good-bye to yesterday"

"But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long
...that's wrong"

"I swear we used to be so pure

But we can't be in love no more

'Cause I don't wanna fight this war"

"So please don't say you won't be going out today

'Cause anywhere I go, won't be anything

If you're not hanging around"

"I know it could never be different
But I wanted to say that I miss you
But you're not coming home"

"But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do

No one's gonna love you more than I do"

"It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I, baby I'm sorry to see

Maybe we're not meant to be"

[the title quotation is by Rob Sheffield]