Get It All Down

I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.

2012-01-23T23:07:00.000-06:00

One of my plants apparently attempted suicide this weekend. I came downstairs Sunday morning and found it facedown in the kitchen sink, having leapt (or fallen, or been pushed) from the windowsill above. It seemed like a metaphor.

The last couple of months have been, overall, sort of difficult. It's safe to say that I've suffered several of what could be kindly termed 'setbacks' is an understatement. My eyes have been forcibly opened to some truth that I would have rather not known. I'm starting to realize what "blissfully ignorant" really means.

I finally came to understand that someone I'd liked from afar (very much so, from "very far") simply does not share my interest. It isn't a matter of "being ready" or any other convenient excuse; it would be too much to say he's not that into me--he's not into me at all.

I tried, gently, again, to see (maybe have a grilled cheese with) the terminally oblivious (or, in the alternative, cruel--which is a prospect I still choose not to accept) lawyer, and once again hit the wall. As with every other interaction I've had with him (and yes, I realize that "interaction" implies that both of us were present and active, but it's close enough), the past year makes me wonder what the Hell he wanted, meant to do, thought he was doing, was doing, and thought later that he had done.

Over Christmas, I had the opportunity to see someone I haven't seen in half a lifetime. The person who, probably without knowing it, nearly helped me break up my marriage before it even started. For some reason, though, we both cancelled the plan to see each other. Is it all water under the bridge? Is it too late? Have we gone too far, knowing each other too well to be "normal" anymore? Or was it just winter weather and a sick relative and we really will do it some other time?

'Things' with the delivery guy seem to have careened to a stop, probably gradually over several months but seemingly during the course of a six-hour conversation. Don't get me wrong; it's a good thing. But just because it's good and right doesn't mean it's not hard and sad and awful, too. There is more to it than even just the end of this long, thoughtless habit. Other people, money, criminal activities, time (not that it's "wasted" because it's not "spent" or "invested", just lived), and some ineffable, indescribable others, too. Sorting that one out would take a while. Not sure if it's necessary. Not sure if I'm willing.

Finally, yesterday, I found out that theloveofmylife is going to be a father in a couple of months. The specifics don't matter as much as the sheer surprise that the news received. I literally had not imagined that such a thing would happen. Would it be easier if I'd imagined it, though? Would I have been "prepared"? I didn't really believe that he was 'coming back'--there is no back to come, and too much has changed in each of us and in life to be there again.

I suppose I just thought I wouldn't have to know.

The title quotation is by Rabindranath Tagore.

many things grow in the garden that were never sown there

2012-01-22T20:53:00.003-06:00

aloe. It seems to be outgrowing its pot. I hope it'll hold off on needing a new home until spring.

Ziggy Marley (Bob's first son). He's grown new tiny limbs since winter began - you can see a couple of them at the bottom of this photo.

I've had this climber since college. Its health waxes and wanes. At the moment (knock on wood) it's humming along nicely.

God. Only. Knows. It looked like a little palm when I bought it, toward the end of summer. It seems to like the circumstances here - it seems to be going a little bonkers. The fronds are light but almost razor-sharp at the edge; the plant itself has divided into 3 bulb-like protrusions at the base.

It looks like pea pods, but each "limb" weighs too much to stand on its own anymore. No clue what it might be.

I've never had good luck with ivy. In fact, there's another upstairs that's on death's door. This one, though, seems to be going like gangbusters, including growing into the contents of the duck mug.

The jade (left) is flourishing from being ignored. The sharp-edged aloe (right) is becoming overly large and wobbly but seems healthy enough for now. I sense repotting in my future here, too.

The Christmas cactus is at the end of the blooming season. They were some gorgeous blossoms. It desperately needs a larger home.

We have SPROUT! The first avocado (Avo), the only one with a root, has finally launched a sprout. (If it's not visible at this size, click the photo for detail.) The sprout needs to reach something like 6" before I can pot it in soil. So much waiting!

The Plant That I Forget To Water.

There is now a plant at the top of the stairs. I'm thinking of adding a few more. This one seems to be doing all right.

[detail of previous]

[title quotation by Thomas Fuller, from Gnomologia]

I was good. I was really good.

2012-01-17T23:39:00.002-06:00

The 12th edition of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, published [the month that this meme originally came out], has 400 new entries including the words sexting, cyberbullying, jeggings, and mankini. If you could create your own word to add to the dictionary, what would it be and what would its definition be?
outch
[Pronunciation: /aʊtʃ/
exclamation, used to express severe psychic and/or sympathetic pain:
"Outch! I can imagine how much it hurt when he blatantly flirted with you for several hours in that bar and then inexplicably never called you again."
Summer's Eve, the company that sells feminine cleansing products, has a new advertising campaign that promotes the vagina as all-powerful, the cradle of life, the center of civilization, and the thing men battle over. "Hail to the V," the company says. What is your reaction to this ad campaign?
*gag*

Not that it's not a nice idea, but, really? Think about what they're selling. Really think about the. product. that. They. are. Selling. If what they're saying were utterly true, would they need to over-hype it so much?

I truly hate the phrase "it is what it is" - what else could it be, after all? - but in this case...yeah. It's nothing to be ashamed about, or afraid of, but it's also nothing to have a party over. It just...is.
Burger King announced...that it was retiring its mascot who peeped into windows and popped up next to people in bed in commercials. Some people found the king creepy. What did you think?
As much as I relish the idea of waking up in bed next to someone I hadn't invited to be there...yeah, nevermind. Creepy is right.
The people in the Burger King commercials were happy when the king showed up with breakfast. How would you react to him showing up at your house?
I think I'd pretend I wasn't here. That's my M.O. under normal circumstances.
Actor Jim Carrey posted a video love letter to actress Emma Stone on his blog.... If you were to post a love letter to a celebrity (whether it's serious or a joke), who would you write it to?
probably Robert Sean Leonard. I've seen several of his works lately, from way-back-when (Dead Poets Society, Swing Kids) to the "middle years" (Much Ado About Nothing) and of course House, M.D. Besides being a really good actor (his Neil Perry in DPS is devastating - the title quotation is him, from here), he's just plain hot.
Jim Carrey is 49, and Emma Stone is only 23. How big can an age difference between a couple be before it becomes too creepy?
it completely depends on their ages. Are they both over 18 the whole time? Has the relationship been carried out in an otherwise "above-board" manner? Meaning, has any of it been hidden because of the age difference? Or is it just another relationship, made more interesting by other peoples' fascination with numbers?

Look: this is both something that I cannot understand in the slightest, and also something that I feel extremely strongly about. Too many people have FAR too much interest in other peoples' business. I don't give one flip about 90% of the topics that pass for 'news' today, much less 'leisure' or even 'sports' (since that's so often 'gossip' anyway!) But I really, really do have an emotional reaction to someone else telling me that my affection and attention toward someone else - when that someone is legally responsible for their actions, and their reactions to my actions - is 'wrong'. There is, to be true, no more likely way to achieve my deep wrath.
Hurricane Irene [wrecked] havoc on the East coast. How would you feel if a hurricane shared the same name as you?
there have likely been a few, given the placement of my name in the alpha. I haven't checked to see if it's still in the rota; since I don't live in the target zone, it's not a particular concern of mine.
What is your definition of "normal?"
usually "whatever I'm not"
An Associated Press movie critic has listed her five favorite high school comedy movies -- "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," "Rushmore," "Sixteen Candles," "Election," and "Heathers." What is your favorite movie about life in high school?
Dazed and Confused. Each time I see it, I see greater depth and more intelligence and truth revealed.

Of the above, I've seen the first three; Fast Times is a farce, Rushmore is as wonderful and surreal and pointless as all of Wes Anderson's movies (and Jason Schwartzman is, holy crap, fantastic), and Sixteen Candles - as much of a heartbreaking watershed moment in my history as it represents - is just another teenage movie.
[The weekend that this meme came out] the comedy "Our Idiot Brother" opens in movie theaters across the United States. Have you ever had to help a relative out of an idiotic situation?
no...I was probably that guy, even.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

he fed his spirit with the bread of books

2012-01-15T18:18:00.001-06:00

Searching my image archives for a photo of something else, I came upon these pictures from my home library. They made me, simultaneously, homesick and a little nauseated (at least the first couple). Can you imagine trying to find something here, quickly? The building itself is very impressive, though, and brings back lots of good memories (some of which even have to do with reading...).

Fiction stacks

"The art room" - which also shelves some classes of nonfiction, if I recall correctly, as well as their circulating artworks. :)

The view from the art room toward (adult) media

The view from the art room toward Reference

More of Reference from that same vantage point

Detail of the rotunda ceiling

Read more about it here. [Title quotation by Edwin Markham]

empty.

2012-01-13T23:16:00.003-06:00

“In a deteriorating love affair, you may be deeply torn between the choice of holding on or letting go. If you remain indecisive, the internal conflict can depress you and even make you ill. You should make a quick determination whether to hold on by fighting or let go by retreating.
“Holding on unsuccessfully is like clenching your fist tighter and fighter until your knuckles turn white. Letting go is like opening your fist. It feels better, but your hand is empty.”

[unknown]

Yep.

tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

2012-01-11T22:42:00.003-06:00

"Never forget that you must die; that death will come sooner than you expect... God has written the letters of death upon your hands. In the inside of your hands you will see the letters M.M. It means Memento Mori - remember you must die."
~J. Furniss, Tracts for Spiritual Reading

I believe it is probably unhealthy to always live one's life that way, to never forget that one must die. But the converse is also true, and perhaps more damaging overall, and in the short run to be sure. I must die. (I know not when, or how, or how reconciled....) But, knowing and attempting to be reconciled with that, I can make choices today, for today and tomorrow.

The concept of Memento Mori has risen in the last four books that I've read. Four. Doesn't that seem strange? And I'm not reading about "death" per se. Nor am I reading books that have the slightest to do with each other. Two fiction, two nonfiction, on completely unrelated subjects. And Memento Mori.

[title quotation by Mary Oliver, from "The Summer Day"]

our greatest gift is the thunder of silence

2012-01-10T22:03:00.001-06:00

It's beginning to look a lot less like Christmas - indoors, anyway. I'm taking down my decorations. It's a surprisingly complication process, given that I don't really seem to have decorated too wildly. There's just so much of it: two trees now, plus the lights on Bob's bar stool. Ornaments on nearly all of the plants (or their pots, if the plants themselves didn't want to hold them). It's also obvious that I had help taking all those things out of the tiny boxes, bags, and packages where I store them, but am putting it all back on my own. It's still nice, and I love all these things and the memories they hold, and I still mostly love Christmas, too. I'm just...tired.

And it'll be good to have my place back to normal. Just in time for the real winter to start. As much as I've enjoyed this false spring we've had since autumn ended, winter's coming tomorrow night, hard. Good for the guys who make their extra money plowing snow, I guess. And good for those of us to whom they owe that money.

[title quotation by Joel Goldsmith]

the truth is more important than the facts

2012-01-09T23:11:00.000-06:00

Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? If yes, how often?
Yes, many times. It wasn't exactly a point of pride (as with some of my friends), but more a means to an end. I wanted to drink, that's where the drinks were, so that's where I went.
After Obama, who do you think will be the next president?
I think it's likely to be someone from the same party.

A digression: it's a sign of extraordinarily intellectual laziness in thinking to say things like, "We should throw them all back and start over." If politics is that much of a problem, then commit yourself to working to change the system itself. If you can't be bothered, then don't also be bothered to be so terribly negative and dismissive, while also implying that you know something that the rest of us obviously do not. There are others among us who actually believe that the system can work. Is that really so awful?
Do you believe places can really be haunted?
no, but I believe that some people can really believe it - or that people can really feel particularly close to those who have passed, more so in specific places and with certain sorts of things around. To me that's not "haunted" so much as "connected."
Kimber is flying to Minnesota to finally meet Berleen. What do you think about space travel?
meh. "The space program" bored me, and certain family members' overwhelming enthusiasm for it seemed oddly misplaced. Yet I recognize that scientific research that was done in space had significant ramifications for life on terra firma, so I shouldn't cavil in the name of practical reality...much.
What if had exactly one year to live. What are the three things you'd want to do before you died?
Tell every person that I love, face to face, that I love them, complete with real hugs. (I very much enjoyed a real hug from my old friend Sleek last week - he stopped by the place of peanut-earning just before 'No Friends May Visit' takes effect, thank goodness... - and our goodbye hug was punctuated by an actual bone-crack in my back. So awesome!)
Make provision for what I have, I suppose, after throwing the majority of it the fuck away.
Try to make arrangements with Gilligan for that 3-hour tour. To literally sail off into nowheresville (well, except that the freakin' Harlem Globetrotters might show up) seems an attractive way to exit.
What if you could take one thing back. What would that one thing be? What is something you said, something you stole, something you did wrong?
only one thing? Thinking of it strictly in terms of 'if I'd known then what I know now', I wouldn't have responded to the first message from Brian-from-Madison. If I hadn't done that - besides avoiding what happened with him, of course! - I'd also have been saved what happened with Ulysses for the [yes, seriously] four succeeding years.
Other than emergencies, do you think the cell phone is more intrusive than convenient?
'the cell phone' doesn't really exist anymore, in the separate, obtuse sense. It's too ingrained into the cultural framework. If it's intrusive, it's because we've made it so. All of us. ALL of us. We've made it, allowed it, encouraged it, to be so. We've forgotten that they have an "off" button. We check them all the time. We use them as a substitute for natural human interaction. Just like we do with Facebook.

Just like we do with blogs.
You are stuck on an island forever due to a plane crash. Like Lost without Harley or anybody else. But you find all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would be the three other things would you want with you?
iPod. Hand lotion. And Kindle.
We've decided you can change one thing about the world. What would that one thing be?
no more crying over men (i.e. broken hearts).
What if a million dollars fell off a back of a truck. Would you keep it?
if there were absolutely no way it could be traced back to me, Hell yeah. I'm not proud. I'd farm some of it out to the friends I could trust (all 4 of you) and keep the rest in a pickle bucket in the closet. We could pay the fuck out of some bills, couldn't we?

[from The Cat, who got it here; title quotation by Frank Lloyd Wright]

everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody

2012-01-07T21:30:00.003-06:00

A newer reader - who is also a friend from way back - has relaunched The Interview Game. I've known bgm, who blogs at Sledding with Rosebud, since we were...wow, in elementary school, I think. In the course of recent conversations about our blogs, we contemplated various ideas to have more input on content for each others' sites, and this was one of the plans we had. I hope it answers your thoughtful questions, B., and that it suitably entertains the rest of y'all.

Your experiences in the realm of relationships have ranged from sublime to surreal. It might be tempting to become self-critical, but what do you see in yourself as a real treasure?
"That's your first question? I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece." (It's a Zissou quote.) Don't be fooled--I am legitimately self-critical. All the time. To be fair, though, I probably was that way even before I started racking up relationship stories that are infinitely more surreal than sublime.

I am a good listener. I can be fully quiet, attentive, thoughtful. I can ask the right questions or say nothing at all when the situation merits it. I am perfectly comfortable with silence, too, when that's mutually agreeable. I don't need to be entertained (although I've come to realize that it's sometimes easier to be entertained than to explain why I don't require it). When I am with my friends - real friends, people about whom I really care - there is nowhere else I would rather be.
It's a jungle out there, and we tend to wear masks to protect ourselves. Do you have a particular mask that protects you most often?
“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” [Oscar Wilde]

It depends. At work, there are various, one for each audience. Most often, I am probably "super-efficient, slightly cranky, and my tasks mysterious to every onlooker." At the rare times when I need to venture into the public areas, I effect a mien of blandness and boredom that is confusing enough that I am almost never presumed to actually work there. (Thank God.) In meetings, I am the one who sits in the back corner, muttering clever comments (or writing them in the margins of my agenda), making my friends laugh and getting them into trouble. I always look like the innocent one....

Within my family of origin, I just try to stay out of it. Silence, 95% of the time, is golden, so I bite my tongue a lot. Nobody "wins" arguments that start from there anyway.

Socially, I can be The Snark (most often), The Flirt (which is the hardest to admit), and The Lawyer. I'm sure there are others, but those are the big three that leap to mind. The Snark makes sharp fun wherever possible, particularly at herself. Although she's witty and funny, undeniably, there's also an edge that leaves a bitter taste. The Flirt - does it go without saying? - gets me into ridiculous trouble with ridiculous, inappropriate people (and sometimes even appropriate people crossing lines left and right). I could have called that one "Absence of Impulse-control" because it's more than just flirting, veering (although thankfully not too far, anymore) into the entire manic realm. Driving too fast (always), spending without considering the ramifications, drinking to excess. Adolescent behavior that's hard to countenance in an adult. And The Lawyer, while sometimes fascinating and something of which to be proud, is also hard to control and embarrassing at times. It's intellectually pulling rank, often out of the blue, and doesn't have to relate to the law. Every lawyer does this. Push me too hard, push at the wrong time, or push someone I care about in the wrong way, and I'll use my brain and my mouth to murder you - or just make you wish you were dead. There are times when The Lawyer is particularly handy (e.g. after waiting too long in line or on hold, or when dealing with another lawyer, or with someone who's underestimated me based on some preconceived notion that's utterly false) and I wouldn't wish it away, but I also wish it were easier to control once it comes out. For that matter, The Snark's got a mind of its own and travels on greased wheels, and so does The Flirt.
No one struggles alone. If there was one trait you value most in a friend, what would that be?
My best friends are smart and clever (fast wit, fast thinkers), book-lovers, aesthetes who like food and music and art (even if we disagree about what "art" means) and clothes and shoes and nail polish. They like salons where they are treated well - to say "pampered" implies a degree of indulgence that is inaccurate, but to say that they appreciate a good haircut, products that keep their skin soft and smelling nice, and people who treat them like they belong, that's more like it. And of course they love me to distraction.

But what one trait do I value the most in them? Each of them loves animals. And when you think about it, loving animals - whether or not you live with them, bring them into your home, buy their kibble or change their box or muck their stall or supply carrots when they meep - means that you have room in your heart for someone who might not be able to give back what you give to them. But you care for them anyway, just because you can, and you do, and that's the kind of person you are, who you are capable of being. What better kind of people could I choose to be around? How much more forgiving, hopeful, loving friends could I have, than that?
The time machine awaits. Thankfully, no matter what you do in the past, nothing will have an effect on the march of history. Who do you go back and see, what experiences do you want to live through, or what time period and place beckon to you?
Brace yourself.

I want to go to Ireland in 1912 or so, and stay there through the early 1930s. I want to see, for myself, what Partition did, and meant, to real people. And what the war was like, and how wrong my ideas of power and nationalism and patriotism are.

And then I want to go to Spain, for the Civil War. While I'm there, I want to punch Hemingway in the face, but that's another story. I want to see just how much Germany helped Franco - and set the stage for Franco (and Spain) to help Germany a few years later. And I kind of want to punch Franco in the face, too.

And then I want to go to Switzerland during the war (WWII). I know they did so much, and I want to go back and catch 'em.
Life amongst books isn't all bad. Aside from the obvious exposure to books, what about your current employment do you find bearable, or even pleasurable?
Friends, old and new. I've met some of the best people in my life there, or because of there. I mean, I can't take it back to butterfly theory, but a lot of great people have come into my life because I've been there. Three of my best friends. An ex-boyfriend, who is if nothing else a source of surreal stories. And a couple of other good guy friends.

I've also gained some skills. Admittedly, not too many of them are transferable to any other field, since what we do is so specific. And odd. And fraught with shelf-life.

Those books, though - they're awesome!

[title quotation by Mark Twain, from Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894]

you must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you

2012-01-02T22:08:00.001-06:00

Eight years. I've been writing this thing for eight years. It's funny to think about it that way. I've hardly been sitting at this desk for that long, straight - although it certainly seems like it sometimes, when the words won't come though I can sense them in the back of my mind, taunting me. I love the blog, the fact that it's here, the feelings that I still get, wandering back through the archives and reliving the places that I've been and the people that I've known. What a collection. What a journey.

Thanks for sharing this with me. Keep commenting and sending messages; feedback helps. And I'll keep trying to make it better.

[title quotation by Ray Bradbury]

is that a brown mustache or are you eating a mouse?

2011-12-26T21:12:00.000-06:00

Do you have any habits or rituals at this time of year?
I try to be in bed before midnight on Christmas night.
Polar bears seem to do well in the snow... How about you? Is snow just another thing you deal with when it shows up, or is it shutdown time? ...and if you're posting from a non-snowy locale, do you make trips to actually see snow? It's okay to admit it...
I'm not a huge fan, but I deal with it when it shows up. I can usually count on one or two "snow-days" per year, where my place of work is closed thanks to the winter weather, so I can't really complain too much. When we get 15+ inches in a day, with gale-force winds, though, that's a different story.
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
most of my best toys were hand-me-downs. Tinkertoys and that sort of thing. I liked to build.
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
health care
Do you live close to your immediate family members? If not, how far away are they?
the majority of my immediate family lives about 260 miles away.
My mom ordered a turkey dinner from a local market. It was o.k., but not very good. How was your turkey (or last holiday meal) this year?
the last turkey that I had was for Thanksgiving, and it was awesome. Since I've been up north I've had ham and lasagna and Hawaiian pizza (which I loathe).
In a one horse open sleigh: Have you ever been on a sleigh ride or a carriage ride? Do you even like horses? Or would you just rather travel by your own two feet?
I've ridden in a hay wagon, pulled by a tractor, and a sled that slid on snow. No horse-drawn conveyance in my past. I'm not a fan of horses; they are very big and very scary. I do like to walk, yes.
What is your favorite Christmas song? ...and sung or played by whom? You know, the one you tend to listen for on the radio or hit 'repeat' on the player...
this year I'm claiming Dona Nobis Pacem, and I don't know who sings it. It really doesn't matter. I loved it as done by the cast of M*A*S*H during one of their Christmas episodes.
What is your least favorite Christmas song? ...and sung or played by whom? You know, the one you tend to skip on the player...
there are any number of them, not worth mentioning and giving yet another hit in an online search, eh?

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is from the M*A*S*H episode 'Dear Sis']

a wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver

2011-12-25T23:39:00.000-06:00

Real tree or artificial?
though I fondly recall real trees from my youth, I think they're terribly ecologically unsound. Artificial trees, too, have their drawbacks in that area, but if one makes a commitment to a tree and sticks with it for several years, not throwing it away when one tires of it, it isn't as reprehensible as some holiday traditions that we blindly follow.
Do you like decorating the tree?
I do, indeed.
When do you put up the tree?
under ideal circumstances, sometime around the 20th
When do you take the tree down?
January 6
Do you like eggnog?
not at all. WTF is "nog" anyway? And I don't drink eggs in any case.
Ever broken a present right after opening it?
I would imagine. I haven't always been the most, um, focused child.
Hardest person to buy for?
one of my friends has pretty much everything she wants, and the means to buy what she doesn't have. It's a challenge to not load her up with stuff for which she has no need.
Easiest person to buy for?
there's this guy.
Do you have a nativity scene?
nope. I used to have a beautiful ceramic one, but it doesn't live with me anymore. You win some, you lose some.
Mail or email Christmas cards?
mail (though I'm not at all offended by the email variety, which can be very charming and are obviously eco-friendly)
Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
any of a number of biographies of religious or political figures, carefully chosen to be as personally reprehensible as possible
Favorite Christmas movie?
the original, animatedThe Grinch that Stole Christmas
When do you start shopping for Christmas?
when I find something to buy. I don't typically set out to do it.
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
oh Hell yeah
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
krumkake
Have you ever actually eaten fruit cake?
no - I gravely dislike those little fruit-like pellets
Favorite Christmas song?
it varies. Dona Nobis Pacem, maybe?
Travel at Christmas or stay home?
alas, I always travel - home
Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
yes
Angel on the tree top or a star?
it's a sort of snowman/angel, assuming I can ever find the [bleep] Rubbermaid storage tub that it's living in. My stuffed Grinch is in there, too, and my reindeer, and some other squishy Christmas crap. I've got to brave the parental basement one of these days, to see if it's here. If you don't hear from me again, it got me!
Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
morning
Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
what's not to be annoyed by? There's too much of everything: noise, light, movement. People. Driving. And it's cold, to boot.
Favorite ornament theme or color?
whatever. My tree is a mash-up of mass-produced stuff, a small collection of knitted things (sweaters, scarves/hats/mittens, stockings), and a weird little blur of some handmade stuff that runs the gamut from professional-looking and awesome to "made by a 3-year-old and looks it." And all very much loved.
Favorite Christmas dinner?
roast beast. It's my favorite dinner, whenever.
What do you want for Christmas this year?
the usual: black pearl earrings, a car payment, Bacon Salt, a Nikon D90 (custom package), a brown leather jacket, and/or a date with [redacted]

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Thomas á Kempis]

words rolling through a tunnel with no end

2011-12-19T19:27:00.001-06:00

Life never answers.
It has no ears and doesn't hear us;
it doesn't speak, it has no tongue.
It neither goes nor stays:
we are the ones who speak,
the ones who go,
while we hear from echo to echo, year to year,
our words rolling through a tunnel with no end.
That which we call life
hears itself within us, speaks with our tongues,
and through us, knows itself.

[Octavio Paz, from "Response and Reconciliation"; Eliot Weinberger, trans.]

as long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is

2011-12-13T22:08:00.001-06:00

The tree is assembled. It is not yet fully "fluffed." Nor is it remotely straight. I think I may need to double-check the joints, to make certain that they are secure.

And yet: it's up. That counts for something.

[title quotation by Eric Sevareid]

The rumba is the dance of love. Look at me like you're in love.

2011-12-11T19:53:00.000-06:00

Some people believe in making grand plans for their own future. Some have a 10-year plan, others have a 5-year plan, and some have only a 1- or 2-year plan. What kind of plan do you have, if any?
I need groceries, which I'll buy within the next couple of days. And I'm looking for a new money-making venture. Beyond that, 'Mann tracht und Gott lacht'.
Are your closest friends more likely to within your gender or the opposite?
my closest friends are typically same-gendered, but I've got lots of good guy friends without whom I can't imagine my life, at all
What is the last printed periodical — newspaper or magazine — that you read on paper?
the hometown newspaper, for sure. I read it online in my normal life, but when I'm there, I read it the way I always did growing up: the paper spread open on the floor, and me crouched over it (on bent knees). That's also the only way I can wrap Christmas presents. When I try to do that at a table, I invariably end up moving to the floor.
Of the last ten times you communicated with your phone, which of the following types of communication did you use the most: phone call, text message, tweet or Facebook posting?
they were probably all texts. I'm not a big phone talker, tweeting is for birds, and FB is enough of a hassle when limited to standard computer use.
You decide to make Jell-O for dessert: which flavor is your favorite?
"red"
If you could arrange a private showing of any classic film at a big theater to experience it the way theater-goers did when it was actually on the big screen, which film would you choose?
I would love to have seen Baz Luhrmann's Strictly Ballroom at the Cannes Film Festival, where it received a 15-minute standing ovation. It is the rare non-action movie that always has me out of my seat at the end - and in tears.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is from Strictly Ballroom]

I walk around with my heart in my hands

2011-12-08T22:03:00.000-06:00

Who is the last person you high-fived?
probably someone at work, over something ridiculous
If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
yes, because were I drafted, I would necessarily be draft-worthy, and were I draft-worthy, I would necessarily be ready for combat and capable of keeping myself safe
Do you sleep with the TV on?
never. That was a deal-breaker with someone I used to know, as a matter of fact. He couldn't stand silence - ever - and I'm very, very much on the opposite side of the coin.
Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
I have, but I wouldn't choose it unless there was no other option. The little milk-crusties around the lip give me the willies.
Have you ever won a spelling bee?
no, but I came in second, notoriously. When I misspelled "competition."
Have you ever been stung by a bee?
of course! I was a child once, y'know.
How fast can you type?
80+ WPM. With accuracy, probably 75...on a good day.
Are you afraid of the dark?
no. Nothing's there in the dark that wasn't there in the light. I think it's impossible to live alone and be afraid like that.
Eye color:
according to this Hex Chart, I'm typically somewhere in the 66CCFF range - with a great deal of variance depending on how much oxygen is flowing in my brain at the moment
Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
not precisely
When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
not for a while. That's a warm-weather practice.
Do you knock on wood?
yep, regularly
Do you floss daily?
sometimes!
Can you hula hoop?
the last time I had to, I could. It was a wedding reception trick. The newlyweds were very athletic, and refused to do the kiss-on-command thing in response to glasses being clinked, but they were happy to kiss for anyone who could keep a hula hoop spinning for a minimum amount of time (10 seconds? longer? I don't recall.) It ended up being much more fun than it sounds like, with everyone from the little kids (obviously) to the drunken guys (not a chance in Hell of getting it going) to the grand ladies - who surprised us all with their hip swinging! - getting into the spirit. And the bride and groom kissed plenty.
Are you good at keeping secrets?
if they're worth keeping, sure. Keep two things in mind: first, who am I going to tell? And second, I'm an attorney - good and bad.
What do you want for Christmas?
- gift cards. I love them! Not only a gift in the original sense (something to unwrap, a surprise, and a treat that I wouldn't have had if someone wasn't thinking of me) but really two gifts, because I get that feeling the second time when I do the actual shopping. My favorites: ze salón, Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble (our "local" bookstore - sigh), and iTunes
- anything and everything from my Amazon wish list. That's what it's there for, after all!
Do you know the Muffin Man?
I do - he owns the best restaurant in Ann Arbor, where the peach muffins are insanely good and all the rest of the flavors are merely to die for
Do you talk in your sleep?
maybe? But if there's no one to hear me, what difference does it make?
Who wrote the book of love?
Johnnie Walker.

[from The Cat, who got it here; title quotation from "Could it Be" by The Spinners]

college kids might want to try binge thinking for a change

2011-12-07T21:45:00.000-06:00

With Oct. 20 being "Shampoo Day," I'm curious...: do you actually "rinse and repeat" or just rinse without repeating?
I shampoo twice, every time. OK, maybe 95% of the time. Why? Because I like the way it feels.
The 2011 World Series kicked off with the St. Louis Cardinals beating the Texas Rangers. If you went a baseball game today, what would you buy from the concession stands?
hot dog, a soft pretzel with spicy brown mustard, the most expensive beer they've got, and - in Minnesota only - a chocolate sundae in the little cup shaped like a batting helmet. I LOVE those little batting helmet cups!
October is National Squirrel Awareness Month. Do you find squirrels to be cute animals, annoying pests, or something in between?
if you know me well, this won't surprise you: I've got a squirrel story. My former spouse was nearly killed...well, OK, just sort of maimed...when he swerved to avoid a squirrel while riding a bike (it was him riding the bike, not the squirrel). (Though, now's I think about it, I've never had that aspect of the story verified.) He went ass-over-tea kettle and landed on his $800 bike. And then he lay there, in pain, until an elderly couple came along and helped him up. The urgent care doctor said he sprained his back and one knee, and he had road rash all long one side. But, yes, the squirrel survived.

Does this adequately answer the question?
Recently, some tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw "Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle" being displayed on a road sign?
I would not be surprised at all. I've driven through Hell and Climax and innumerable spots in between. I've driven with the flu, a sprained right ankle, and a sprained wrist (though, thank God, not at the same time). I've driven drunk off my ass. I've driven through swarms of moths. I've driven through pouring rain, a blizzard, fog with zero visibility, on ice-covered roads, and on a (frozen, obviously) lake. I've seen deer (thousands), cows, horses, sheep, pigs, turkeys, peacocks, fox, snakes, and a moose in the road. I've run over two mailboxes. (The home kind, not the regulation postal kind - and they were already in the road when I hit them.) (And yeah, I realize that that's absolutely no excuse.) I've hit a gallon of milk and a cement block. I've hit what was left of a deer after a semi hit it. So, really? A sign that advised to stay in a vehicle? No big deal.

(Besides, I've driven [alone] though some of the sketchier parts of this state, and the one to the East that seems to be there only for driving through, and the parts of Michigan where there are LARGE signs reading prison area - do not pick up hitchhikers. The last thing I'd do is get out of the car while on the road if I didn't have to.)
Researchers from University College London have published the results of a study on Facebook's effect on the brain. They say the size of some parts of the brain correlate to how many friends people have on Facebook. How do you feel about the effect of today's social media on your brain?
I am happier with fewer friends who I really know than I ever was with more friends who were there because I gave in to the desire to accumulate. I've recently parted with a couple more - it's hard but right when you know they're not truly friends. Besides, the size of the brain does not necessarily correlate either to intelligence or to happiness.
The authors of that study also said that the people studied with the biggest Facebook friends list tended to have the most "real world" friends. How does the amount of your "real world" friends compare to the friends you have solely over the Internet?
Apart from some nostalgic FB friendships along the we-knew-each-other-in-high-school realm, my online friends are my real friends. Would I invite all of those people to my house, let them eat from my fridge, let them sleep on my couch? Not hardly. But I wouldn't do that for a decent chunk of my "real" friends, either. It's the fact that they don't know that that maintains the glossy sheen of friendship.
For her Fall 2012 clothing line, Vera Wang has created a bunch of black wedding dresses. What would you think if you went to a wedding and the bride surprised everyone by wearing a fully black dress?
if I went to a wedding where the bride wore black, it would not be a "surprised everyone" sort of event. There are classy, appropriate ways to do it. Lots of women - probably the majority of women - would look better in a nice black dress or suit than they will in some overdone white (or white-shade) confection designed for someone half their age and size, anyway. And if someone really doesn't like it? Fuck 'em. I'm SO far beyond giving a shit about someone who would dare to have an attitude about what I wear to my own celebration, to which I've graciously invited them.
My fiance and I had to remove two dead mice from behind my couch this week. Talk about a disgusting stench. What has been the worst odor you remember smelling recently?
the hallway near the copier at the money-earning place. No clue why the ventilation systems don't work, but the restroom odor is often beyond horrific.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Jim Mullen]

Christmas is a time when you get homesick--even when you're home

2011-12-05T21:44:00.000-06:00

the window on the landing between the second and third floors

the "front" window on the second floor - between the front door and the entry closet

the peninsula between the entry closet and my desk

SHARK! dressed up for Christmas

the DVD/CD rack, which lives between the living room and dining room on the South wall

the ridiculously overdone chandelier, gussied up for the holiday

the baby (4') tree, which is next to the decklet door, in the dining room

the kitchen window

the peninsula between the kitchen and dining room, from the kitchen vantage point

the magnetic board that hangs over my monitor

[title quotation by Carol Nelson]

to help the monkey cross the river

2011-12-04T11:28:00.001-06:00

which he must
cross, by swimming, for fruits and nuts,
to help him
I sit with my rifle on a platform
high in a tree, same side of the river
as the hungry monkey. How does this assist
him? When he swims for it
I look first upriver: predators move faster with
the current than against it.
If a crocodile is aimed from upriver to eat the monkey
and an anaconda from downriver burns
with the same ambition, I do
the math, algebra, angles, rate-of-monkey,
croc- and snake-speed, and if, if
it looks as though the anaconda or the croc
will reach the monkey
before he attains the river’s far bank,
I raise my rifle and fire
one, two, three, even four times into the river
just behind the monkey
to hurry him up a little.
Shoot the snake, the crocodile?
They’re just doing their jobs,
but the monkey, the monkey
has little hands like a child’s,
and the smart ones, in a cage, can be taught to smile.

['To Help the Monkey Cross the River', by Thomas Lux, from The Cradle Place]

if you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe

2011-12-01T21:25:00.000-06:00

Are you more melancholy on occasion?
more than...not? More than someone else? I think that, in all seriousness, I am probably melancholy more often than not, and more than most people.
What did you think you looked like when you were a teenager?
in high school I was probably medium height, pretty thin but curvy, my hair was either in a utilitarian ponytail at the back of my head (I worked a lot!) or styled in some pseudo-wannabe-punk mode, though without the extreme goo necessary to make it really stand up. Well - that's what I really looked like. What did I think I looked like? I guess it depends on the day. Sometimes I probably thought I looked too short, too curvy, and/or too plain. And sometimes I probably thought that I looked like utter perfection. Teens are so adept at seeing anything except what's really there....
Whose advice are you least likely to listen to?
I'm not very big on advice of any kind unless I've specifically asked for it. In other words, you're welcome to make the sounds, but I probably won't act on them unless they've been requested. I'm the one who has to live with it, so I'm the one who chooses. Thanks.
Tell us about a job that you liked when you were younger.
I thought I would make a good personal assistant to someone with lots of money and no time. As it turns out, I had no idea just how true that was - or how hard it would be to find someone like that in this general area.
Would you lie to someone if you knew the truth would end your friendship or relationship?
of course, even though it is by nature a self-fulfilling prophecy. Lie...to prevent loss. Duh.
What do you have little or no patience for?
flattery. It's a feat of will to believe a compliment, so anything beyond that is absolutely pointless.

What is there never enough hours in the day to do?
structure questions correctly? No, seriously: read enough, write enough, get enough sleep.
What is the most productive thing that you accomplished in [November]?
getting a start on clearing the emotional decks. Throwing out some old feelings that have no place here anymore. "Facing reality" - whatever that really means, in practice.
Moving. On.
What have you always wanted to learn but haven't yet?
how to make an apple pie from scratch

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Carl Sagan]

never be afraid to sit awhile and think

2011-11-29T22:44:00.000-06:00

When did you last move residences?
mid-May, I think? This whole summer is a blur of packing and moving and unpacking and the pains associated therewith.
What song leaves you completely unmoved even though it seems everyone else is moved by it?
anything by the Glee cast or The B!#b#r. They're way over-processed in an attempt to make up for no real talent.
On what kinds of mornings is it easiest for you to jump out of bed and get moving?
I really only feel like that when I'm getting up to throw my stuff in the car and drive to a friend's house - the Cat-Beast's - for a weekend or something along that line. I'm really, really not a morning person.
What object do you get most annoyed about when people move it without letting you know?
anything at work. The packing tape seems to grow legs and wander (and flip itself over, so that it attaches to the cabinet) regularly. Don't get me started on copy paper....
In what way are you waiting on someone else to make a move?
I've made the first move toward a Serious Talk with someone at work. But in all other ways, my frame of mind is firmly in the "fuck it" arena; make a move at your own risk - that is not at all welcome.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Lorraine Hansberry, from A Raisin in the Sun]

just hold on loosely, but don't let go

2011-11-28T22:18:00.000-06:00

If you could go back in time what would your current day self tell your 18-year-old self?
- finish the Mass Communications degree - at least the Minor. It will pay off in ways you can't imagine.
- stay away from Brian Bennett; he'll break your damned heart.
- take the $100 cash home before you go to the party, stupid.
- when you get the chance to date the rugby-playing dishwasher: don't.
- take every class you can from your mentor, even if they're a lot of work and he kind of scares you sometimes. It's totally worth it.
- buy the flowered dress!
- when you want to break up with Steve because he's got a kid and you think you're too young: don't. You'll regret it for the rest of your damned life.
Name one thing you could do to improve any important relationship in your life.
I'm doing it--I'm letting go.
If you were guaranteed honest responses to any three questions, whom would you question, and what would you ask?
I'm not sure that I could ever really ask the questions, since it's a basic tenet of my life that I don't ask questions that I don't want to know the answers to. But I suppose that some part of me does want to know them, to whatever end, or they wouldn't be here, right? So, Counselor...
- Did you ever return my affection, or was it always strictly business?
- What was the deal with your boot heels on the edge of my bench? If that was just lunch between would-be colleagues, you should know that it sent a very different message that I spent it 'trapped' - and gratefully so - essentially between your legs. While we drank, relatively heavily, and talked off and on about sex.
- When did you figure out that I was interested in you? Was it in the emails? Or at lunch? Or was it during the deliberation, or even before the regular jurors left the room? That was a bizarre game that we played, with the others who may not have even realized that they were playing. I wish I hadn't lost it so badly.

[from The Cat, who got it here; title quotation is from Hold on Loosely by .38 Special]

he who sings scares away his woes

2011-11-27T12:20:00.000-06:00

"I Love the 80s!"

MADNESS: OUR HOUSE ... “I remember way back then when everything was true and when we would have such a very good time, and such a fine time, a happy time”....
What is a funny memory of a parent, sibling or guardian in your childhood home?
I was too young to actually have a decent memory of this, but it's become family legend. My brother, sister and I had a babysitter, someone from the neighborhood (which, if you know anything about where I grew up, tells half the story) - an adult, but someone we didn't know well. And she clearly did not have the measure of the three of us, because she was plunked down someplace else in the house, reading a magazine or something, while the three of us...had a mustard fight. In the kitchen. Which was surprisingly complicated, given that my mom was (is) the frugal sort, and didn't buy "squeezy" mustard, but rather the kind in the short, squat glass jar. God knows how we managed to sling it around the room, but we did. Well, I don't know how much I was slinging, but I know there was a lot of mustard on the [formerly white-painted] ceiling, on the cupboards and counters, and ground into the carpeting. It was kind of awesome, in the original sense of the word. I don't think that babysitter's services were ever employed again, and I doubt that she was paid for that night's "work."
MEN WITHOUT HATS: SAFETY DANCE ... “We can dance if we want to, we’ve got all your life and mine...as long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it, everything will work out right”....
What activity did you do that would be considered dangerous or reckless?
putting aside (for once) all my clearly criminal behavior, I'll say that flying to another state to meet a guy with whom I became acquainted on Facebook was, if not dangerous, at least reckless. That it turned out only to be bizarre was just luck.
FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD: RELAX ... “But shoot it in the right direction, making it your intention...live those dreams, scheme those schemes, got to hit me, hit me, hit me with those laser beams”....
What was your dream job and what did you actually wind up doing?
when I was very young, I only ever wanted to be a photographer. Of course, I had no idea what that actually meant, in practical terms (what sort of photographs would I take? For whom would I work? Where would I live? How would I actually make money, to live?) Once I started college and had a dose of that version of reality - which isn't the full version, but is at least more than that with which I'd started - I came around to my a new dream, which shifts and changes but hasn't ever left: I want to make a living through writing.

Instead, I'm making a half-assed living through other peoples' writing. Isn't that just the way the world works?
MODERN ENGLISH: I MELT WITH YOU ... “I’ll stop the world and melt with you...you’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better all the time, there’s nothing you and I won’t do...I’ll stop the world and melt with you”....
What is the most romantic getaway you have taken?
hindsight being 20/20: 10 hours in Chicago.
THOMAS DOLBY: BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE ... “I don’t believe it! She’s tidied up again and I can’t find anything! All my tubes and wires, and careful notes”....
What valuable item have you lost?
in literal terms, $100 cash. During college, that was the equivalent of the entire farm, and I was financially and emotionally devastated for a long time afterward. In more metaphysical terms: it's got something to do with my feet.
DEVO: WHIP IT ... “Crack that whip, give the past the slip, step on a crack, break your momma’s back”....
Were you spanked as a child? How were you punished?
I was spanked two times, and I viscerally recall both the reasons for and the results of each event. The more frequent - and probably more consistently effective - punishment that I received was "a walk" with my dad. In my dopey naivety, it took me a remarkably long time to figure out what that meant. We'd start walking, get however far away from the house (proportional to my age and ability, I suppose), and when we were as far as we were getting, we'd turn around, and then Dad would heave a big sigh. "I've been thinking...." He would, in some open-ended way, lay out the problem (I wasn't pulling my weight, I was being a trial for my mom [nonstop from age 10 to when I moved out, I think!], I'd committed some violation of an agreement and failed to remedy it), and it was weighing on him. And it might sound lame or trite, but I know that it's true - I know that he wasn't just reading some parenting manual and following some expert's advice in how to do deal with "a kid like me." Because it really did work, and yet that's really my dad, too. I can still feel the sting of those conversations, of wanting to be...better. So I wouldn't make him feel bad about the bad stuff that I couldn't help but do. Childhood is hard.
ANIMOTION: OBSESSION ... “You are an obsession, You’re my obsession, who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me?” ....
What is the oddest thing you ever did to get someone to like you?
wow. Um, at the moment I'm more like to share my failures than my successes, so this is pretty awkward. I guess I could link to the other blog, where it's all laid out in horrifyingly graphic terms - but, no.

I tracked down an orange camouflage cowboy hat, just to prove that I could. In the words of my friend Sparky, "Epic Fail."
TOMMY 2-TONE: 867-5309 JENNY JENNY ... “Jenny Jenny who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold onto... I know you think I’m like the others before, who saw your name and number on the wall” ....
Who do you regret giving your phone number to?
no comment. The walls have ears!
KAJAGOOGOO: TOO SHY ... “Modern medicine falls short of your complaints, ooh, try a little harder, you’re moving in circles won't you dilate? Baby try”....
What is your favorite medicine or drug?
Fioricet. It's made from a combination of butalbital (a barbiturate, 50 mg), acetaminophen (325 mg), and caffeine (40 mg). It is generally prescribed for tension or muscle-contraction headaches, but is also used as a supplemental prescription for migraines. It's got some interesting side effects, but as compared to a migraine, side effects are nothing. This stuff is amazing - for the purposes for which it is intended.
GARY NUMAN: CARS ... “Here in my car, I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors, it’s the only way to live, in cars”....
What was/is your favorite car?
I think about this a lot, and I've yet to come up with an answer. It was obviously time to be done with my last car, the '02 Civic (manual). And the new one (the '11 Civic [auto]) is running right - though it still gets 1/4-1/3 lower gas mileage than the '02 did, which burns me. The worst thing, though? It's incredibly, terribly, horribly BORING to drive. I mean, I can't stand getting in it for a trip of any distance, because it's just...ugh. If you don't like to drive, there's no way I can explain this to make you really understand, but anyone who occasionally just gets behind the wheel to let go, for no other reason than to drive, you see what I'm getting at. I haven't just gone for a drive in months. What's the point? It's not fun. Surely there's a car that I can afford, that's safe, that's fun to drive. Right?
THE GO-GOS: OUR LIPS ARE SEALED ... “Can you hear them? They talk about us, telling lies, well that’s no surprise” ....
What is the worst lie or rumor anyone ever told about you?
that I know of? The first guy I ever kissed told "the world", with the help of one of my good friends, that we'd done much more than kiss. Up to that point, my reputation was spotless. From there, I was making up for something I hadn't really done.
DURAN DURAN: HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF ... “In touch with the ground, I’m on the hunt I’m after you, smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd, And I’m hungry like the wolf” ....
What food do you crave so much you would brave a long line or travel a far distance to get it?
I've moved too much to be like this, but there's definitely food in each place where I've lived, or even spent a lot of time, for which I'd happily travel. Around here, you can get some pretty good Mexican and a really good steak. In Ann Arbor, I'd need a few days, to work through Marco's Pizza's breadsticks, Mr. Spots Philly cheesesteaks, and everything at the Gandy Dancer. In W-town, it's all about the doughnuts.
JOAN JETT: I LOVE ROCK N ROLL ... “I saw him dancing there by the record machine. I knew he must have been about 17. The beat was goin’ strong, playin’ my favorite song” ....
What was the last song you paid to hear on a jukebox?
probably "Fishin' in the Dark", at Shorty's - which has been closed for ages (since it burned!). It's been a while since I've paid for music in a bar.

[from The Cat, who got it here; title quotation by Miguel de Cervantes]

the very meaning of one's soul

2011-11-26T20:07:00.000-06:00

Adam Duritz (writer and lead singer of Counting Crows) mentions previous girlfriends in songs. In Mrs. Potter's Lullaby he sings “There a little piece of Maria in every song I sing.” Is there a piece of an ex that will always be a part of you?
It's actually "There's a piece of Maria in every song that I sing", and the next line is just as important - "And the price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings." This might make it clear that, yeah, I've thought about this quite a lot. The easy answer is that of course I'm still pulling along pieces of those who've gone before, whether exes or friends or family. Life isn't lived in a vacuum. The more complicated answer is that my 'Maria' is two-fold. First, my friend Heidi, who's lived hundreds of miles away for longer than we lived close by, is always with me in some sense, helping me hold it together. Second, the man I think of (for ease of explanation) as my soulmate left an imprint that won't go away - not that I've tried very hard to make it so. Right or wrong, they're in every song that I sing.
Who was your very first significant friend?
her name is Jennifer, and, as she recently put it, "I believe we spied each other across a hot and crowded room, synchronized our Snoopy watches and never looked back."
What are four (4) things you hope to do this weekend?
take my birthday present to the craft store for [custom] framing
water the plants
watch the Steelers game (possibly while wearing my obnoxious Steelers hat)
post the pending book & movie reviews that have been piling up for the [work] review blog
What do you consider to be the main purpose of your blog?
this one? God knows. It seems to be pretty aimless lately. Much like its author. An overhaul is in order, in all ways.
Tell us something that you've never before written about in your blog because it's too personal.
tempting, but I don't think so
If you could choose your doctor, do you prefer someone of the same or opposite sex?
I'm incredibly picky about my health care, and I'm completely unconcerned about unimportant issues like gender and ethnicity. I care much more about personality and the ability to make complex information relatively understandable. Sticking to a schedule is good, too.
If you could dream about anything tonight, what would the subject matter be?
no dreams, please
How do you react to practical jokes when they're played on you?
not a fan
What's on your agenda after this weekend for the upcoming week?
work M-F, shopping with Shoe probably Wed. evening, returning the soup pot to Penny, seeing the dentist on Thur. (regular 6-mo. appointment), and otherwise lots of reading and sleeping

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Edith Wharton, and reads in its entirety: "There is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul."]

of bad books we can never read too little; of the good, never too much

2011-11-25T21:05:00.000-06:00

Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?
The Brothers K, by David James Duncan. I read it the first time the summer I was married. I'd bought the book through Book of the Month club, primarily because it had cover art that drew my attention.
The book made me laugh harder than anything I'd ever read, and it made me think, and it made me cry, in earnest, in a way that I never had because of something that I was experiencing with my brain and not my body or my heart. It was revolutionary, and wonderful, and indeed life-changing. As soon as I'd finished it, I thrust it into the hands of my best friend and no less than forced him to read it. I've done the same thing with innumerable friends since then. It has been a while since I've read it - I think I'll start it again over Christmas.
Name one book you had to read but hated, and explain why you hated it.
J.L. Ackrill's A New Aristotle Reader. I read it for a course called Aristotle and Late Classical Philosophy, one of the last I took to satisfy the requirements for my Philosophy minor. My boyfriend at the time, who later became my spouse, also took the class, but for general education credits. We thought it would be "fun." It turns out that I'm not a big fan of Aristotle's philosophy (who knew?), and there was a boatload of reading for the class (during a term in which I was taking an overload of classes, working three jobs, and maintaining what could generously be called an 'active' social life), and my BF took surprisingly well to the whole philosophy 'thing', which was somewhat unanticipated since it was his first class. Yeah, he was the teacher's pet. He got the highest grade in the class. And I scrambled for a MFing B-. And that book didn't help at all: dry and irritating.
If you could pick a book you’ve read to make into a movie, which one would you choose?
The Man Who Wrote the Book, by Erik Tarloff. It would be absolutely delicious.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Arthur Schopenhauer]

illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead

2011-11-24T22:31:00.000-06:00

What was the best thing that happened to you this week?
I got a bunch of new clothes: two sweaters, a blouse (and another one that I'm returning for a different one that's closer in style to the first one), a fleece jacket, jeans, and slippers.
The worst?
I've had some illusions...revealed as illusions. Which is hard. Better than basing any time or energy on something that's not true, of course, but still rough.
What's the best thing someone's done for you (recently or not so recently)?
lately: sat by my side and let me put my head on her shoulder
What's the worst thing someone's done to you (again, recently or not so recently)?
lately: one of my friends has a tendency to say asinine things without realizing how foolishly he's behaving, and how what he says will make other people feel
What's the best thing about your job?
at this moment, I'm struggling to come up with anything, but I suppose it's the puzzle. Almost every day, there is something that needs 'figuring out' to some degree, and I like that challenge.
Worst?
I really cannot get into it.
What's the best new website you've found?
It's not new, but lately I've been spending a lot of time at the Jim Brandenberg Gallery site. I love his work, and I dream of outfitting my space with his photographic prints that evoke feelings of home.
Worst?
just the one to which I contribute on a daily basis in order to pay the bills
What's the best book you've read?
that's a ridiculous question, considering who you're asking. How about a short list?
- The Brothers K (David James Duncan)
- Nice (Jen Sacks)
- The Girl She Used to Be (David Cristofano)
- Finny (Justin Kramon)
- the entire 'The Song of Ice and Fire' series by George R.R. Martin (although I'm in agreement that the 4th is by far weaker than the previous three - and I'm very much looking forward to reading the 5th, to see what in the hell he's setting up with this seemingly senseless dervish)
- What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire (Charles Bukowski)
- The Silent Miaow (Paul Gallico)
Worst?
I don't want to give anyone the urge to read them, and I don't want to make them findable through the blog. There are a bunch, though, and if you need to know, I can tell you one-on-one.
What's the best movie you've seen?
Another list.
- The Professional [Léon]
- Trust
- The Big Blue
- The Big Bad Swim
- Henry Fool/Fay Grim
- Beautiful Girls
- The Rundown
Worst?
one more time: no promotion of the bad ones. I'll let you know if you really need to know.
What's the best meal you've had?
it's usually about the company, not about the food. If someone wants to change my mind about that, they're welcome to try.
Worst?
it's not the worst thing ever, but I over-cooked some eggs the other night. Burned eggs are really something.
What's the best holiday?
oh, Thanksgiving, for sure.
Worst?
Thanksgiving, duh.
What's the best thing in your future?
I suppose it's the very fact that the future itself is there. Today is just one day.
Worst?
my ARDC fees are due in about a month. I don't know why, but that is absolutely the worst bill to pay, of all the bills that I've ever had to pay. I wait until the last minute and then grind my teeth for the 5 minutes that it takes to make the online funds transfer. HATE it. Grrr!

[from The Cat, who got it here. The title quotation is by Sigmund Freud, and reads in its entirety: "Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces."]

when you walk in, the noise disappears

2011-11-21T22:13:00.000-06:00

A is for Age: somewhere between majority and Aquarius

B is for Beer of choice: today, Molson Canadian

C is for Career: stagnant, stalled, and pathetic

D is for favourite Drink: tea

E is for Essential item you use everyday: antihistamine with decongestant

F is for Favourite song at the moment: "I Just Knew" by Better Than Ezra [the title quotation is from here]

G is for favourite Game: ping pong

H is for Hometown: I don't know anymore

I is for Instruments you play: I probably shouldn't claim anything except some very amateur piano

J is for favourite Juice: pineapple

K is for Kids: signs say No

L is for Last kiss: August-ish

M is for marriage: not for a while now

N is for full Name: N is also for "Not Bloody Likely"

O is for Overnight hospital stays: not since my own birth

P is for phobias: dogs & heights

Q is for quote: "life is hopelessly frayed, all loose ends." [Lyn Hejinian]

R is for biggest Regret: today? Not accepting the clerkship.

S is for sports: I watch several, play a few (rarely)

T is for Time you wake up: too early - usually around 7:30

U is for colour of underwear: pink

V is for Vegetable you love: corn

W is for Worst Habit: stubbornness

X is for X-rays you've had: probably 95% of my body has been x-rayed, and the majority of it numerous times

Y is for Yummy food you make: I've got a consistently good lasagna recipe that's pretty adaptable to various circumstances

Z is for zodiac sign: Virgo, though it really only suits me in certain specific areas

[from The Cat, who got it here]

all creators draw in part on the work of those who came before

2011-11-10T22:35:00.001-06:00

What was the last song you listened to that wasn’t sung in English?
probably something by Shakira. Maybe Ojos Así?
One of our SS players generally leaves a critical comment on our memes. Which is fine. All's fair. Do you let meme authors know when you hate their memes?
no, in part because I think it's rude and in part because my blog isn't a meme blog, per se. If I'm doing one, it's because there's something about it that I liked a lot - or I wouldn't have chosen it in the first place.
What TV show would you like to be on?
CSI (the original series), although I'd make a pretty boring victim. I've got lots of identifying marks, I've had probably hundreds of x-rays done, and my DNA lives on (in outstandingly creepy form) in a little plastic "treasure box" in my parents' firesafe. That's where the 12 teeth that I had pulled when I was little went, and since I never threw them out, I'm sure they're still there. All this adds up to an easily-identifiable victim and a potentially quick resolution. I would be the B-story for sure, which makes me sort of sad.
What was the last video game you played?
bubbleshooter
Have you ever been in a musical? If yes, do tell.
"in" in the sense that I've attended many of them, yes. "in" as a performer? Hell, no.
Do you follow your own style or everyone else’s?
To quote the majority opinion in Alexander v. Haley (460 F.Supp. 40 (S.D.N.Y. 1978)), “Nobody writes books of purely original content.”
What’s the last store you bought from?
I bought gas at the Clark station on the way home from work
In retrospect, have you ever let a person use you a lot?
some people, in some ways, sometimes
What are you doing two days from now?
with any luck, absolutely nothing at all. I'm really freakin' exhausted.
Did you ever believe there were monsters in your closet?
no
When you graduated high school, did you let random people sign your yearbook or just close friends?
just a few very close friends
Would you consider adopting a child that had a mental illness?
no, but I'm also not in the market for a child without mental illness.
Does thinking about death scare you?
not exactly
If you died, do you believe that you go to Heaven or Hell and where would your spirit go?
"if" I die, I'm fairly certain that "I" will come to an end right then and there. My spirit, as such, will then be free to explore such possibilities as are made available to it at that time.
Who did you last write a snail mail letter to and why?
my former spouse, in sympathy for the death of a family member. It's not a terribly rare thing for me, though.
Do you care what people say or think about you?
you might be surprised...
Have you ever been threatened?
yep
Which side of your family do you get most of your qualities from?
physically, I'm a pretty even mix of both. Intellectually, I'm an anomaly. Emotionally, I'm probably more like the paternals. Spiritually, likewise. Strange....
What was the last thing with alcohol that you drank?
last night, I had half a Sand Creek hard lemonade
Have you ever kept a relationship a secret?
isn't that obvious by now?

[from you-know-who; s/he got it here; the title quotation is from Judge Alex Kozinski's dissenting opinion in White v. Samsung (1992); the passage reads in its entirety: “All creators draw in part on the work of those who came before, referring to it, building on it, poking fun at it; we call this creativity, not piracy.”]

do not pose and pretend

2011-11-08T22:08:00.000-06:00

“Jeremy Taylor gives us some fundamental rules for prayer. And the chief of them is this: ‘Do not lie to God.’ And that curt piece of advice, so bluntly thrown down for us, is indeed all-important. Do not burn false fire upon God's altar; do not pose and pretend, either to Him or to yourself, in your religious exercises; do not say more than you mean, or use exaggerated language that goes beyond the facts, when speaking to Him whose word is truth.”

[A. J. Gossip, from Feast of Joseph of Nazareth, Continuing a Lenten series on prayer]

I have been thinking about this lately, since I came across it while searching my computer for something else. While trying to wrap my brain around it, it has taken me in two distinct directions. The first, and more obvious (to me), is that it is a waste of time and energy to pretend to be something that we're not. God knows, after all, so what is the point? And anyway, it shows a lack of respect, or knowledge, or awareness. Or even self-awareness. What are you doing, if you are posing and pretending? Where does the truth leave off and the act begin? Or is it all an act?

The other aspect to this is more public; it is about pretending before others. What does the phrase "church clothes" mean to you? Or, as some people I have known might say, "Sunday go-to-meetin' clothes"? For that matter, what does "churchgoing" mean to you? Or "God-fearing"? "Faithful"? "Religious"? Is it about the freshly-scrubbed child, well-mannered and quiet, filing into a sanctuary behind his parents like a duckling on Benadryl? Is it the teen--however rambunctious, as young adults are known to be--who nonetheless chooses to be a part of her parish's youth group, regularly performing acts of charity because she truly believes (or, even better, just because it is part of her regular, everyday life)? Is it an adult who has been through some hard times and trials, and come out on the other side with scars but also faith--whether or not that adult expresses that faith through organized religion? Or is it a member of the cloth, life lived in relative seclusion, seemingly untested by practicalities and experiencing something simpler than the rest of us can imagine? Is it, in other words, about what we seem to be, or is it about what we are, and believe, and how we behave based upon those beliefs?

If we show up for church all shiny and obvious, and say all the stuff we are supposed to say, but cannot really tell when we are done what we said, much less whether we believe it or not, then is that not the most dangerous of the false fire? It makes others believe that the lie (or, at best, the negligence) is truth. What a huge lie to tell, after all. Since God, y'know, knows.

[I realize that this is way outside my normal boundaries. My brain's been chewing on this too much for too long to keep it to myself.]

the ruinous work of nostalgia

2011-11-07T21:57:00.004-06:00

As an insomniac compulsively flips a pillow
to cool the cheek, I turn you over again & again
& again in my mind when I need the cold side
of the said affair to rail against
"the ruinous work of nostalgia."
If life imitates art, then each stillborn
has its own mucus-bright Blue Period.
Sharks keep moving to prevent dying.
People keep moving too, unwittingly staving off
the comfort of stasis, the virility of expiration, blah, blah...
But Death, the great highlighter, makes us all shine
a bit more dearly. I'm a widowchild who needs sunblock
against your blinding legacy. I used to get my cardio up
by just sleeping next to you. In a sane world,
I'd be bumped off to warn the others of a sky
so blue at the end of the working business day
if your veins hadn't stolen the purest
Pearl Paint blue first. A broken thoroughbred—
I need a passport & vertigo pills to reach you.
Godspeed, galloping into your Misty Blue
OMG I miss you.

[Jeni Olin, 'Pillow Talk', from Hanging Loose (reprinted in Best American Poetry 2011]

brute manifestation of personal choice

2011-11-06T21:01:00.000-06:00

“Somewhere along the line he’d simply stopped trying to plug the myriad gaps in his understanding of her heart. She was another person. And what for years had felt like a searing judgment on his soul he now viewed rightly as some brute manifestation of personal choice. It wasn’t the choice he would have made, God knew, but he could accept it. And somehow that acceptance, however humble or hidden, had allowed him to regain his dignity.”

[John Burnham Schwartz, in Claire Marvel]

the fox-demon

2011-11-05T23:21:00.001-05:00

“The fox-demon often takes the shape of a beautiful girl. You fall in love with her and she leaves and you live for thirty days more afterward and die of missing her.”

[Alexander Chee, in Edinburgh]

and that could be the world

2011-11-04T22:26:00.000-05:00

"There would be no action, no doing; but he'd be there. He'd be, and that could be the world. Sometimes it is nice just to see the face of the beloved--the excruciating pain comes later. And she could see him, maybe every day. Fine, she thought, as if she had made a pact with the devil and come out on the losing end--here's love, but it's attached to a string and a hook, and if you try to grab it, I will yank it back again and again."

[from This Burns My Heart by Samuel Park]

man’s work is nothing but a slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those one or two things in whose presence his heart first opened

2011-10-30T21:39:00.001-05:00

What is a quote that you love?
Do or do not, there is no try. [Yoda]
Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created?
Theologically, I believe that everything was created by God, including all the stupid stuff we are/do/believe. Philosophically, I know that "pure hate" does not exist - it is far more complex than that, in that it is always tempered with guilt, shame, fear, inferiority, pain, lust, and myriad other inexpressible and probably unacknowledged things. Practically, I think, Hell, yeah, 'cause where else would it come from?
When was the last time you wanted to scream?
earlier this evening, while watching videos from Bad Lip Reading with friends
Do you ever at times see the world in black and white?
no, my eyes function properly
Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive?
of course - although they are only as, er, intrustive as one allows them to be
In your life, where do you think the rainbow will end?
honey, it ought to be clear by now that the rainbow "ended" for me long ago
What is something that you never want to do again?
get anesthesia in my toes. Move twice in a month. Kiss a man who's not willing. Eat goose. Be the last to know.
When was the first time you realized the world was small?
when I saw the Northern Lights (for the first time)
How you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries?
reading, writing, talking with friends (like-minded or otherwise), driving
Ever discuss your political beliefs with people?
very, very rarely
Do you care about the environment?
um, yeah
What’s your motto for life?
'TBD'
Is progress destroying the beauty of the world?
unless one defines 'progress' in a negative way, it - by nature - cannot destroy. 'Progress' just is, like 'fact'.
Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe?
I really, really don't think/worry about it. Ever.
Would you like to rule a country?
not even close. I don't even want to rule my own home.
Do you believe everything has a purpose?
not at all! (In a "serious" answer to the black-and-white question above, I think that EVERYTHING is gray.)
Is war ever for the best?
definitely. “Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.” [Horace Mann, 1859]
Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones?
probably not for myself; definitely for loved ones
How do you react to people (such as Governor Rick Perry) who don't believe global warming is really our fault?
an eye-roll at most, as all foolish and short-sighted people deserve. See the commentary about "facts", above.
Does love conquer all?
probably
Is euthanasia morally acceptable?
it depends
Is world peace impossible?
yes
Is pride a good or a bad thing?
definitely. I also believe that it's inevitable.
What do you think is the purpose of your life?
to ask questions, to wonder, to think, to be sad, to write, to love, to be alone, and to make other people think - sometimes
Do you believe in karma?
sort of, as I understand it (which is a very incomplete and Westernized 'understanding')

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Albert Camus]

the camera can photograph thought

2011-10-28T21:23:00.000-05:00

These books were among the last that I unpacked--along with Fox in Socks. That was a very weird box.

The African violets continue to amaze and delight.

...regardless of the angle from which they are viewed.

The books, finally at home! Fiction R-Z and most of Nonfiction.

Fiction (A-R)

Philosophy (no room in the inn...yet)

Historiography (homeless)

One of the avocados (on the right) is throwing down a root! The other is being stubborn.

Opposite view of the avocados.

[title quotation by Dirk Bogarde]

knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet

2011-10-16T22:10:00.001-05:00

Who was the last person you went shopping with?
Heidi
What is something you need to go shopping for?
I probably need new jeans, but I'm convinced that I can do what's necessary to get by without acquiring any
Do you have the same first name as one of your relatives?
yes, one of my younger cousins shares my name
What kind of car do (did) your parents drive?
Mom has a blue Accord; Dad has a maroon CR-V
Are you rich?
financially: not in anyone's imagination. Personally: more than you'll ever know.
If you could spend one intimate night with a celebrity, no questions asked, never to see them again, who would it be?
Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, I'd prefer more than one night, but I'll take what I can get.
What famous person do you look like? Feel free to use this facial match program by clicking here. Show us at least the celeb photo.
Fernanda Tavares - 62.78% match
Alyssa Milano - 61.67% match
Brooke Burke - 61.11% match
Ann Kok - 60.56% match
Linda Lovelace - 60.56% match
Um, whatever. I think that the site may have interpreted more ethnicity than was appropriate.
What is the most daring thing you've done recently?
I've been in a pretty anti-daring mode lately. Folding inward. Protecting my tender underbelly.
Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail?
"pass" or "fail"? I suppose that depends on your perspective.
Which sex scandal of the last decade bothers you the most?
Use the word 'scandal' and guarantee that I Don't. Care. At. All.
Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
probably not
What are your plans (or what have you done) for this weekend?
a quick trip to Crysalgonhillsheightsville on Friday, followed by two days of attempted-intensive sleeping and recuperating. I'm through taking the steroids but still feel pretty wretched (currently thinking there might be fluid in the lungs).
Have you ever woken up and not known where you were?
only momentarily
What were you doing at midnight last night?
trying to sleep but failing, super-miserably. Last night was a very rough night; between discomfort from congestion, basic inability to sleep, and shockingly violent nightmares once I did sleep, it was a long voyage on a stormy sea.
Last restaurant you went to?
probably Duke's?
How many hours did you sleep last night?
maybe five, though I was in bed for at least eight
Which is more distracting: sexting while driving or sex while driving?
in that case, I don't think there's a distinction, Mr. Clinton
Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
apart from the person with whom I'm texting (be clear on that word), I'm going to guess 'no'
Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
oh hell yeah - who hasn't?!

[from here, from here; title quotation is by Lord Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield]

do not show how much you care

2011-10-11T22:06:00.002-05:00

Do not show how jealous you are. Do not
show how much you care. Do not think the bunch
of flowers in his hand connects the hand to you.
Do not close your eyes and kiss the funny
lips. Do not twist your torso, touching yourself
like a monkey. Do not put your mouth
on the filthy place that changes everything.
Do not utter the monosyllable twice that is
the signature of dogdom. Do not, afterward,
appear mangy with old breath, scrutinizing
every hole. And do not think--touching his hair,
licking, sucking, and being sucked in the same
instant, no longer lonely--that you
are two animals perfect as one.

[Henri Cole, 'One Animal', from Touch: Poems]

what if you lose yourself sometimes? then I'll be the one to find you, safe in my heart

2011-10-08T21:36:00.001-05:00

What's for breakfast?
this morning, Frosted Mini Wheats. Tomorrow, probably Special K with Red Berries.
Do you read a newspaper daily?
most days, I'll scan the headlines on the local and hometown papers (online).
What do you do when you can't sleep?
try harder. I'm not one to get up and do something else. When all else fails, drugs usually work.
Type a word that sums up your mood.
"blarghhh". I've been under the weather for days, was home sick from work yesterday, spent today either sleeping, reading, or watching TV - and while I was awake, I was generally drinking either tea, water, or orange juice. I can't hear (my ears are clogged), I have zero energy, and I look like crap.
Do you remember your dreams?
if I'm getting enough sleep, yes.
Name something from your dream last night.
my former physical therapist and my sister were racing Formula One cars through the streets of Ann Arbor, while I carried on a torrid affair with my former boss and everyone around us (including our coworkers) pretended that they didn't know, but clearly did. Ah, fevers.
Name a food that describes you.
at the moment? Egg-drop soup.
Today you are wearing:
exactly what I was wearing yesterday! Being sick is so glamorous.
What's in your pockets?
no pockets for anything to be in.
Did you sing in the shower today?
uh, no. Sustained talking (or even thinking about talking) makes me cough.
What's the last song you heard?
"Giving Up" by Ingrid Michaelson. (The title quotation is from this song.)
Looking forward to the holidays?
some more than others, yes. The next one should be...interesting.
Where do you want to be this instant?
asleep. Don't particularly care where.
What's for lunch?
today: chicken rice. Tomorrow, probably pasta of some sort.
What's something you would like to do soon?
feel like a human. Maybe sleep at night and be awake all day. Possibly hear everything that's happening in the vicinity.
Reading anything now? What is it?
- A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin (#3 in 'A Song of Ice and Fire')
- Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler, and
- Bone in the Throat by Anthony Bourdain
What's for dinner?
Tonight, it was vanilla Greek yogurt with fresh strawberries. Tomorrow, probably some kind of soup.
A favorite part of the day is:
11:PM-3:AM
Are you happy?
sometimes, yes.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

a silent beat before answering a question

2011-10-07T21:16:00.001-05:00

As soon as he sits down I can tell I want to.
How long can I sit here not doing the thing
I want to do. All the youngish men
all the etceteras of desire, etcetera.
There's a little hole in my boot.
Could you put your finger in it?
There is power in breathing.
There is power in a silent beat
before answering a question, in a leaning in.
Across the table his mind right there
behind his talking face.

[Deborah Landau, from The Last Usable Hour]

vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over

2011-10-05T21:19:00.001-05:00

The pineapple experiment seems to be a bust. Patty Ann II...no more.

Long Live The Avocados!

I'm starting with two, following these instructions. I'll photograph them every few days. With any luck (pleasepleaseplease) there should be something interesting to look at in about two weeks.

Any suggestions for names? Or, maybe I shouldn't get attached yet, huh?

[title quotation by F. Scott Fitzgerald]

where Zen ends, ass-kicking begins

2011-10-04T22:46:00.001-05:00

Complete the Sentences:

Right now I'm feeling...twitchy. Today was not the best of days, and I'm trying to Let It Go. Easier said than done.
When I'm alone I feel...better, but sometimes lonely.
When I'm surrounded by people I feel...annoyed.
One thing I hate is...the MFing windsock in charge of what passes for my professional life right now.
One thing I really like about myself is...my willingness.
When I'm feeling sad I...can't, and don't, deal with other people.
When I daydream it's usually about...quiet, and order.
I'm afraid of...big dogs, heights, and falling into familiar traps.
I'm happiest when...things are what they appear to be.
One thing that really worries me is...when things seem to be going well, for too long.
If I could change one thing about myself it would be...my sleep debt leaves a bit to be desired.
If I could be with anyone right now I would be with...someone who'd be mightily surprised to find himself nose-wiggled into this lil' room.
The family member I am closest to is...my brother.
If I was really honest with my father I would tell him...that my sister can go jump in a lake for all I care.
One thing I regret about my life is...waiting so long to start it.
If I only had one more day to live I would...tell y'all everything I'm holding back for the sake of appearances.
If I was really honest with my mother i would tell her...that my sister can go jump in a lake for all I care.
One thing about me that nobody knows is...I think I'm going to die doing this stupid job, living in this stupid, godforsaken place - and thinking about it, much less living it, is a death sentence.
I hope that someday in the future...I can drive a car that runs on water, man.
When I think about my [extended] family I feel...affectionate, a little bit frustrated, bewildered, and resigned.
Something I'm really embarrassed about is...my inability to dance.
One thing about me I never want to change is...my priorities: read first, sleep later.
One thing I feel really proud of is...my license.
Blogsville has helped me to... [OK, ugh, that word is nasty.] Having a blog has helped me channel my thoughts, work through innumerable issues, convey lots of stuff that's inexpressible in standard ways, gossip, vent, gloat, tattle, and stay in contact with a few people I'd never even know otherwise.
One thing I like about blogsville is...besides the above? The friendships run deep, if they develop at all. There isn't much "acquaintance" here.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is from That 70s Show, as is one of the answers above]

unthinkable

2011-10-03T20:47:00.002-05:00

Snow rises as high as my windows. Inside by the fire
my chair is warm, and I remain compounded of cold.

It is unthinkable that we will not touch each other again.

As the barn's bats swoop, vastation folds its wings
over my chest to enclose my rapid, impetuous heart.

It is ruinous that we will never touch each other again.

Ten miles away, snow falls on your clapboard house.
You play with your children in frozen meadows of snow.

[Donald Hall, 'Ruins', from The Back Chamber]

it's fun when they're fetching, and agree to see an etching that you keep at your lily pad

2011-10-02T21:59:00.000-05:00

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
at the moment, House, M.D. I'm working my way through the fourth season on DVD. This is the first of the earlier seasons where I've actually seen a few episodes; I'd forgotten how much I loved Kutner and how was so turned off by Amber. Poor, stupid Wilson.
WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE?
avoid & ignore.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
meh. I'm not a huge ice cream fan. I like the buttery flavors, though, if I have to: butter brickle, New York vanilla, that sort of thing.
DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
last time I checked. I think the middle finger of my right hand might be broken, though. I've really got to be more careful....
SO, IS IT GOING TO BE THE STEELERS OR THE PACKERS?
I guess it's pretty apparent when I've had one of these quizzes lurking in my 'drafts' folder for a while, eh? In the last Super Bowl, it was clearly the Packers all the way; it was as if the Steelers barely showed up for the game. This year, the Packers are undefeated and the Steelers can't find their asses with help. So...yeah. It's the green machine once again, I think.
PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
just what I've done: laundry, watched some House, writing a longer blog post than normal (some of them lately have been pretty brief), and getting to bed before 11 so I don't start the week half-dead exhausted. We shall see how that last bit plays out.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE?
"when"? Try "if". And that "if" depends heavily upon
winning a major lottery
gaining an enormous benefit from kind strangers, or
effecting a significant career change, but quick.
None of these seems overly likely. However, should something miraculous happen, I'd go for something warm and south: Miami.
DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
sure, everyone. Ever. Let's bring the entire world economy to a standstill, just to satisfy completely meaningless curiosity. It's bad enough that I'm doing it, isn't it?
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
"I Hope that Something Better Comes Along" by Matt Nathanson, from Muppets: The Green Album. (The title quotation comes from this song.)
LAST THING YOU DRANK?
a couple of Dos Equis at Tasco on Friday night. Farewell, friend.
LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Debbie
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
eyes - and whether they're willing to look into mine
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
read, write, sleep
FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
the unbelievably terrible drivers in this area
FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
autumn
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
peanut M&Ms
HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
really and truly, yes
WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
good question. It's somewhere in the brownish realm, eight shades darker than the blond I've been, and set to change again on Tuesday.
EYE COLOR?
medium, washed-out blue
SHOE SIZE?
somewhere between 7 and 8
FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Jimmy John's, I suppose, though I'm not a big fan of the genre
FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
I've been thinking a lot about going back to The Freight House in LaCrosse - if it's still as amazing as it used to be?
DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
I do. Surprised?
WATCH TV TODAY?
a little. I had the game on, until I started to feel ill. And I watched 3 episodes of House this evening.
FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Thanksgiving, sometimes
PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
yep. I can get by on the piano. I won't claim anything else anymore.
POLITICAL PARTY?
I've had several. Used to make donkey- and elephant-shaped Jell-O shots. Those were good times.
KISSES OR HUGS?
always better together
RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
what do I have, or what do I prefer?
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
groceries, and before that I made a "plant stuff" run, picking up some pots and saucers. I've got a couple of avocados to try!
WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSE SPOUSE?
not hardly. Besides the complete and utter impossibility of such a thing, who would pay the bills? And anyway, I'd be bored to death.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
I've got four started:
- A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin--it's book 3 of A Song of Ice and Fire)
- Touch: Poems (by Henri Cole)
- Lamb (a novel by Bonnie Nadzam), and
- a re-read of The Bobby Gold Stories (by Anthony Bourdain).
DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
ugh, must we? At the moment it's more hypothetical than real. Which, now that I think on it, is probably for the best.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

happy, lonely, who can say which--

2011-10-01T23:31:00.001-05:00

Almost 8 A.M., curtain drawn shut, lying in bed naked:

it's not the same as sex,
but close
as a door slams,
a shoe crunches on gravel,
walking away.
Then the long afterward of lying still--
happy, lonely,
who can say which--
the world
just as it is, and the lover too,
just so.

[Jim Moore, 'In the Long Afterward', from Invisible Strings: Poems]

I despise that I adore you

2011-09-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

What inspires you to blog?
sometimes it's a random thought or experience; sometimes it's a book or music. Sometimes it's a conversation with a friend. Sometimes I have to force myself to sit down and churn out readable words. This has been going on for far too long to ascribe it to one source of 'inspiration.'
What’s the best thing about blogging, for you?
the joy is in the playing.
What is your favourite book of all time?
need you ask? The Brothers K, by David James Duncan. The Girl She Used to Be, by David Cristofano, is a close second.
It’s 9pm and for some reason you’ve been hungry all day, despite the three square meals. What do you rustle up?
cold cereal. That happens probably 3x per week.
Who are three of your style icons?
in the ideal world: Leon, Lauren Hutton, and Ziva David.
What’s your current favourite song/piece of music?

"Hate that I Love You" by Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo.
"no one in this world knows me the way you know me
so you'll probably always have a spell on me..."
What is the last book you read?
A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin. I'm rather shocked by how much I love these books.
What is your current favourite recipe?
I make a pretty good lasagna.
Who or what first inspired you to set up your own blog?
The Cat, and she who shall not be named.
What object could you not live without?
I don't think that there is an object that I can't live without. It's just not like that. I like my iPod a lot. I use my phone pretty often. I love my journals. I don't like to be without a good book. But "live without"? Bah.
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
God knows.
Who or what made you into the person you are today?
Brian. Debbie. Chad. LRTS. Michael. Heidi. Pete. Kim. The other Pete. Rob. The girls. Andy. The Eric[k]s. The other Andy. Seymour. The other Rob. The insane Mormon. Dan. Emily. Tara. Blake. The other Dan.

But mostly me. Just me.
What have your learned from blogging?
that nothing is sacred except the process.
Knowing what you know now, what knowledge would you pass on to your past self?
do it. It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
Sunday roasts - lunchtime or evening meal?
OK, yes, definitely. Bring it on. There is almost nothing better than roast beast.
What has been your best blogging-related experience so far?
oh, that would be falling in love--with someone who'd fallen in love with me.

[from The Cat (almost a year ago), who got it here]

did you originally kiss me to quell the dread rising in your head like carbonation?

2011-09-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

What's the best way to live
without flinching every minute?
How can you lull yourself to sleep
when the laser disc symphony
isn't music to your ears
because tonight you want
not quicksilver but growls
and hisses? Think of vultures,
hippos, frilled lizards--
the noises they make, or silent
viruses doing aerobics under
microscopes. How does anything
begin? Did you originally kiss
me to quell the dread rising
in your head like carbonation?
"Tiny blades of grass point
skyward with forlorn authority,
toward He that sowed them."
I can't believe that either. Try to
be brave anyway. If the Titanic's
salvageable, then maybe today's
travails will leave a romantic
aftertaste, or provide a roller
coaster of desirable side effects
like all the best modern medicines.

[Amy Gerstler, 'Pillow Talk', from Bitter Angel]

storms never last

2011-09-27T22:17:00.000-05:00

The weather’s just too hot for you and you decide to escape for a week to somewhere cooler: what’s the first place you’d think of?
depends on the time of year, I suppose, and whether this is reality or fantasy. It's almost always literally cooler at the Cat/Beast's. It's usually freezing at my parents'...during the winter. I've yet to discover what my new place is like during the cold weather months. We shall see, eh?
Months later, the weather’s now too cold for you and you decide to escape for a week to somewhere warmer: what’s the first place you’d think of?
Miami, of course!
Severe weather is moving your way. Which are you more likely to turn to first to get information on the storm: your radio, your television or the Web?
my phone: Sleek!
You find yourself sitting on a screened-in porch during a strong thunderstorm: do you find this relaxing or terrifying?
as long as there aren't strong winds, it'll be relaxing. Wind freaks me the [bleep] out.
What is your thermostat set to right now?
it's not. I'm in that blissful range where nothing's running. Not sure how long it can last (it's pretty damned cool in the morning) but I'm going to tough it out for as long as possible, because once the heat's on, it's on for good.
How high do you set it at the coldest part of winter?
I switch it around a lot. I'd be happiest with one of those incredibly fancy programmable thermostats with zone controls and timers down to the hour. The apt over SWC had a basic programmable, so I had a weekday setting and a weekend setting. Here, it's on or off. I'd taken to just turning the AC on when I was home (or setting the temp so high that it wouldn't kick in until I was heading toward bed).

This is the long way of saying that I like it very cool (borderline cold) when I'm sleeping, relatively cool during the day, and warm when I'm getting ready for bed. I HATE having super-cold feet, hate a cold bathroom floor, hate a cold tub or a cold bed. As long as I can work around that, I'll be fine.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is an unattributed aphorism, and ends, "You walk out the other side and wonder what it was that made you so crazy.”]

easy happiness mixed with pain and loss

2011-09-26T22:15:00.001-05:00

We are not one with this world. We are not
the complexity our body is, nor the summer air
idling in the big maple without purpose.
We are a shape the wind makes in these leaves
as it passes through. We are not the wood
any more than the fire, but the heat which is a marriage
between the two. We are certainly not the lake
nor the fish in it, but the something that is
pleased by them. We are the stillness when
a mighty Mediterranean noon subtracts even the voices
of insects by the broken farmhouse. We are evident
when the orchestra plays, and yet are not part
of the strings or brass. Like the song that exists
only in the singing, and is not the singer.
God does not live among the church bells,
but is briefly resident there. We are occasional
like that. A lifetime of easy happiness mixed
with pain and loss, trying always to name and hold
on to the enterprise under way in our chest.
Reality is not what we marry as a feeling. It is what
walks up the dirt path, through the excessive heat
and giant sky, the sea stretching away.
He continues past the nunnery to the old villa
where he will sit on the terrace with her, their sides
touching. In the quiet that is the music of that place,
which is the difference between silence and windlessness.

[Jack Gilbert, 'Music Is in the Piano Only When It Is Played', from The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing, Kevin Young, ed.]

for a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free

2011-09-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

It's September, a.k.a. National Coupon Month. Do you ever use coupons when you go shopping?
now and then. I'm not a freak about it, but neither am I self-conscious or self-righteous about not doing it.
What topics do you usually think about on your drive home from work?
what to eat, what to read, what to watch. What I 'should' do - as opposed to what I will do.
According to the calendar on my wall, it's still June because I never changed it to July or to August. Do you still use traditional calendars (or daily planners) or have you digitized your life into some sort of digital-based calendar?
I have a wall calendar in the dining room that organizes my life in a general way (reminders of bills that I pay electronically, prompts to use a new set of contacts [I use monthly-wears] or to feed the plants, that sort of thing. I use a Moleskine appointment book for specific day-to-day stuff. And I very, very rarely set appointments on my phone.
What do you hope is in your "welcome basket" when you get to Heaven (assuming you'll be going to Heaven *** insert evil laugh ***)?
fresh raspberry white-chocolate scones; a selection of Republic of Tea; good writing paper and a nice Montblanc pen; strong, light, comfortable sunglasses [I'm expecting it to be very bright up there]; and some non-greasy hand cream
August 31 is National Trail Mix Day. If you were to create your own type of trail mix, what would be included in it?
Peanut M&Ms, some Swiss chocolate drops that look like kisses but are a million times better, and chunks of real bacon
August 31 is also Eat Outside Day. Do you enjoy going on outdoor picnics?
I really, really dislike eating outside. Bugs, tree parts, random people...yuck. I really only like to eat under controlled circumstances.
Do you have a specific way to load your dishwasher? If so, if someone else loads it for you and does it a different way, do you get upset?
life is too short.... I put the dishes in, and run the thing. If they get clean, I'm happy.
If there were four specific words written on your heart, what would they say?
grace, clarity, insight, wisdom
If you could add an 11th Commandment, what would it be?
'You have the right to remain silent.'
Which of your five senses normally evokes the strongest memories in you?
sight

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by Wendell Berry, from 'The Peace of Wild Things', and in its entirety reads: "I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.... For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."]

one of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important

2011-09-15T00:06:00.001-05:00

The last couple of days have been surprisingly rough. I've had a migraine; there's been extra stuff going on socially (much of which is odd, unexpected, and either potentially amazing or heartbreaking, depending); I'm sorting out some internal things (my feelings after finding out that someone I've known since we were teens, but who I haven't talked to in literally half a lifetime, is reading the blog, for instance); neverending financial roller-coaster; and work is far more stressful than usual.

There is an entry-level position open in the area over which I am nominally in charge. It was posted with very specific instructions for applying, and the deadline was 9:00 this evening.

People don't seem terribly capable of following very simple, direct instructions. "Pick up an application at the second floor service area." Where do they go? To the first floor area. Or the second floor supplemental area. Or they call on the telephone. Or they email me - and how exactly do they get my email, when it was specifically, deliberately not included on the posting? - with their resume only. Here is one reason that one is asked, for an entry-level position, to complete an application form: so that each person's data can be compared as simply and easily as possible. Why should your potential employer have to sort through your resume to find what they've asked for on a form?! If I wanted a resume, I would ask for one. I did not.

One more thing: if the "Position applying for: _____" blank is left empty, you will not be hired. That is the end of that version of the story. I don't care if you are the best applicant on the planet; if you can't fill in that blank, you don't get a job.

So, can you imagine how I'm going to spend the next few days? That's right: I'm going to sort applications. When I left this evening, there were 37. Adding the one that I just received by email (well, that's just a resume, so I can safely disregard it), that's 38, pending discovery of more tomorrow morning. For ten hours per week. The job pays nothing. The thought of what there is to choose from...makes me seriously consider staying home for the next week or two. Avoidance is very appealing.

And the weirdest thing? Tomorrow night I'm supposed to go to a bar (Ulysses' favorite, ironically) with a friend, to 'strategically meet' a supermodel's (much younger) former stepfather. Faking sick sounds better with each paragraph....

[title quotation by Bertrand Russell]

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

2011-09-12T20:52:00.001-05:00

Our long, international nightmare is over.

OK, maybe that's a slight overstatement. How about this: my personal drama - the landlord/tenant version - has been resolved, mostly in my favor. Yes, that's right, the slumlords finally found someone to settle in at Chez Rat Hole. They've repaid my security deposit, minus a rather hefty sum for "expenses" related to the re-letting; I'm not quibbling since I got more than half back, which is still 100% more than I'd really expected. And they didn't even come close to really trying to sue me for the remainder of the amount that I owed them under the lease ($8800). The check's been cashed. Once it's cleared, I'll be completely copacetic. Overall, a win.

And it's due, as much as anything I did, to the help I received from a certain dashing and talented attorney. If it was primarily in the form of talking me off the ledge and making droll comments, so be it. We each of us have our own strengths, and I'm grateful.

And I'm free!

[title quotation by William James]

if you're not prepared to look stupid, nothing great is ever gonna happen

2011-09-05T21:39:00.003-05:00

I haven't felt like writing much lately. The Photo Challenge took a lot out of me, both literally and emotionally; it was a surprisingly large amount of work to actually come up with three potential responses to some of those prompts, much less to actually locate the photographs (and to determine whether they were printed, scanned, or digital), and then to either pre-post into Blogger or save for easy uploading into Facebook each day. Some of it really was pretty easy, but many of those days required "answers" that were tough to reveal, or to explain, or to keep in perspective. By the end of August, I was heartily tired of the whole thing and just wanted a few days to reacquaint myself with solitude and privacy.

Now I'm back, sort of, feeling a little more connected with the outside world, but still pretty introspective. Ulysses (a.k.a. the beautiful liar) has floated back into my consciousness, though for relatively similar borderline-nefarious purposes. Even if you're not a country fan, listen to the lyrics of this song and you'll understand where my brain is on this. Sort of. Some of the time.

Also reading my first fantasy novel. Yes, you read that right: I've never read anything in the entire Fantasy genre before now. I'm a little over 500 pages into the 800+ page A Game of Thrones, by George R.R. Martin, and I can't believe how much I like it. I can't stand to put it down. I've done very little over the past few days except read, eat and sleep. And I'm dreaming about it. And thinking about it when I'm not reading.

I don't know if it's the book, or the holiday, or the completely ridiculous frequency (and intensity) of headaches I've had over the past week or two, or the change in the weather, or this thing with U., but I feel...uneasy. Unsettled. Uncomfortable. Wrong. Twitchy, itchy, and anxious. Awkward. Indisposed. Awry. Whatever it is - if it is an it, and not just a way, for now or forever - it doesn't feel right, and I can't figure out how to make it that way. For now, I'm just trying to ride it out.

[the title quotation is from a season 2 episode of House, M.D., featuring Howard Hesseman. Johnny Fever is 71 years old, for the love of God.]

To me, fair friend, you can never be old--for as you were when first your eye I eyed, such seems your beauty still.

2011-08-31T07:57:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 31: Someone you miss
My girls.
[title quotation by William Shakespeare]

how gray he was

2011-08-30T07:11:00.001-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 30: A picture that can always make you smile
A "bait shack" in my hometown, which turns over ownership fairly regularly, had been closed for a few months when this message appeared on their exterior sign. It made me laugh hard enough that I drove around the block to take the picture.
[title quotation by Jack Handey; in its entirety, it reads: "As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint."]

no animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness--or so good as drink

2011-08-29T07:10:00.001-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 29: Your favorite candid photo
A night at the pub, no flash on the camera, and an unintended but arresting effect.
[title quotation by G.K. Chesterton]

“The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science.”

2011-08-28T07:19:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 28: Something you're afraid of
This is the courthouse in my hometown. It's not this building, literally, that scares me. (In fact, I have sort of fond memories of it - I've been there dozens of times for such innocuous events as grade school field trips and picking up my first several driver's licenses. I was also called for jury duty there once, but that's a story for another day.) What I'm afraid of, here, is the idea that I still have the urge, even so long after I made what was a quite irrevocable decision, to chuck all that and do what's needed in order to practice law.

I will never truly understand why the process simultaneously attracts and repels me. Or why I've been, to this point, successful in living apart from it.
[title quotation by Charles Macklin (c. 1697-1797)]

love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place

2011-08-27T07:29:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member
All my photos of the girls are more precious now than I could have anticipated before, but the ones of us together--like this, with H0bbes, are especially poignant. Although she was the more "aloof" and able to conform to the more vaguely stereotypical cat-like behavior around people with whom she wasn't too familiar, she was a furry barnacle attached to me from the word Go. Anytime I was stationary for more than a moment (even just briefly, to answer the phone or something similar) she would climb onto me and make herself at home. The position in the picture was one of the easier to get out of, if I needed to, unlike when I'd lie on the floor for some reason (e.g. retrieving something from under the bed) and she'd curl up on my back, in that spot where I couldn't really grab her. Sneaky little beast. Not that I resisted that much....
[title quotation by Zora Neale Hurston]

"sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be"

2011-08-26T07:21:00.001-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 26: Something that means a lot to you
Possibility.
[title quotation by Don Quixote]

if there be a hell upon earth, it is to be found in a melancholy man's heart

2011-08-25T07:49:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 25: A picture of your dayI'm choosing this photo on Wednesday night, after a day spent ruminating on birthdays past - and to come. This photo is from my 12th. I typically wanted angel food cake with a nontraditional frosting color; in this case, I was shooting for something closer to the same hue as my shirt (which fit me for all of about 2 months. I was growing fast at that age!). No green frosting on this year's cake.
[title quotation by Robert Burton]

if truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?

2011-08-24T07:18:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 24: Something you wish you could changeMy hair. Don't get me wrong: I do change it, and quite frequently. But it's basically the same thing with relatively minor variations. I wish I had the courage (or the raw material!) to do something really, really different.
[title quotation by Lily Tomlin]

I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head

2011-08-23T07:42:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 23: A picture of your favorite bookThe Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano. I read it, and I immediately want to start again. This story is a marvel to me. I wish I could have written it. Hell: I wish I could have lived it.

The rest of the books, on the other shelf? They're the rest of my favorites, the ones I will read again and again, too.
[title quotation by John Updike]

if we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking

2011-08-22T07:31:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 22: Something you wish you were better atThis is Patty Ann II, my second attempt at growing a pineapple. I don't think I have the knack. It's weird, because I've followed the instructions to the letter, and still it looks like the thing is absolutely on its last legs. Until there's no green in the pot, I'll keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing and hope for the best, though. You never know.
[title quotation is a Buddhist proverb]

science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it

2011-08-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 21: A close-up photoIt's a green bug. No clue what sort of bug it was - I just thought it was sort of neat.
[title quotation by Albert Einstein]

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad

2011-08-20T07:34:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 20: Your favorite travel photoThe New Mexico capitol building in Santa Fe, with mountains in the background. The building is circular and very dramatic. The sky there--in Santa Fe--is extraordinarily deep blue and very clear. The mountains seem almost close enough to touch. It is so different from anyplace I'd ever been, so starkly beautiful. It was one of the few places that I've visited that intrigued and simultaneously repelled me; it's so clearly not my home.
[title quotation by George Bernard Shaw]

mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life

2011-08-19T07:28:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 19: A portraitThe village idiot.
[title quotation by Sophia Loren]

give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed

2011-08-18T07:56:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 18: Your favorite black & white photoMy mom grows Hawaiian hibiscus plants. Has them all over the house. This one currently lives in the sunroom, and is known as "big orange" for its size and frequent, vibrant flowers. The day that I took this, I was playing with the settings on my camera.

(Incidentally, sepia-toned tropical plant photos look pretty lame.)

[title quotation by Walt Whitman]

when a man lies, he murders some part of the world

2011-08-17T21:12:00.005-05:00

My coworker who sits at the next desk often texts me during work to communicate with me without anyone else knowing what she's saying. Do you ever text someone who is in the same room as you?
not lately, but that was par for the course with The Mumbler for the duration of our work together

How do you feel about people naming their pets with people names (like Maddox, Luke, and Susan) instead of more pet-type names (like Paws, Spot, Boots, etc.)?
I'm all for it. Cutesy isn't high on my list of appealing; quirky & charming pull much more weight with me. An iguana named Philip or a Jack Russell terrier named Michael...*yes*!

Do you have a "junk" drawer in your home? What types of items are stuffed in there? (Feel free to share a photo of the contents if you want.)
I do. It's got 3M hooks, some batteries, packing tape, a box cutter, probably a letter opener, some crappy markers...

Would you ever buy a neon pink car?
no neon. Ever.

If you could come up with a slogan for the welcome sign that welcomes visitors to your city, what would the slogan be?
"take a sharp left and keep driving until you get to the next town". I'm not terribly fond of the city in which I currently reside.

What's the most exciting thing about your life right now?
my life passed before my eyes on Monday night, but not in a good way. Um, there's the possibility of a short trip before the end of baseball season, or not too long thereafter.

August 11 is “National Play in the Sand Day.” If you were at a beach right now building a sandcastle, what would it look like?
I think it would look like this:

If a company offered to pay you $100,000 to get an advertisement for its product tattooed on your body, would you do it?
depends on the company, the size of the tattoo, and on the location. $100g is a lot of money.

You're a kid again at a party with a pinata. What type of candy do you hope pops out of the pinata after you hit it?
Snickers

If someone wanted to win your heart, what would he/she need to do?
Tell the truth.

[retrieved from the archives of The Cat, who got it here; title quotation from Excalibur by Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory]

the part can never be well unless the whole is well

2011-08-17T07:26:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 17: Something that has made a huge impact on your life recentlyPhysical therapy. It's kicking my ass, but there was room for some kicking so I'm not exactly complaining. I think this is the start of the next phase of "me." If I weren't so exhausted, I might even be excited.

[title quotation by Plato]

presence is more than just being there

2011-08-16T07:07:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 16: Someone who inspires youBig brother. No-nonsense, man of few words, funny as all get out, smart, loyal, trustworthy, absolutely sterling character. The best.

[title quotation by Malcolm S. Forbes]

there are moments when I am writing when I think that if other people knew how I feel right now, they’d burn me at the stake for feeling so good

2011-08-15T07:49:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 15: Something you want to do before you dieWrite. I mean really write, to be a working author.
[title quotation by Anne Lamott, in Bird by Bird; in its entirety, it reads: "There are moments when I am writing when I think that if other people knew how I feel right now, they’d burn me at the stake for feeling so good, so full, so much intense pleasure."]

a scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with

2011-08-13T21:16:00.004-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 14: Someone you could never imagine your life without
Johnnie Walker

[title quotation by Harry Crews]

dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them

2011-08-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 13: A memorable night
I'd been dating The Village Idiot for nearly a year. We made plans to visit the artsy city to the west - it's a couple of hours' drive, so we planned to spend most of a Saturday out there. As always, we needed to be back before it had gotten too late, though, because he had a commitment every night, without fail.

It's a very long, literally sad, stupid story. The short version is that he couldn't/wouldn't deal with the "commitment" implied by a day's excursion with me, so he bailed out. He started a conversation with his dad (which was pretty rare) and "ended up" talking for a couple of hours, after which he took a nap. Meanwhile, I was ready at the appointed time, waiting....

I finally left, left my phone at my apartment (to which he had a key) and just drove. For probably 2 hours. When I came back, he hadn't been there, and hadn't called.

I don't remember how it all worked out. I'm sure I called him (probably several times). He eventually came over. We had a long, quiet, tense conversation, during which I cried a river of tears and he sat, stone-faced, not looking at me. When we were through talking, he borrowed my phone (not yet owning one of his own, not surprisingly) and left the room. After he made a brief call, he returned. "Let's go."

He'd called the person to whom he feels primarily responsible in terms of that nightly commitment, explained the situation, and asked for advice - which was, "For the love of God, GO." I was still enormously hurt, but I could also see what a sacrifice he'd made, and was making, so I didn't insist on going without what I wanted in order to be "right." We went.

The weird thing? We had a really good time. Wandered a bookstore, had a nice dinner, took a bunch of photos. Held hands while we walked on the sidewalks of a town that was not our own. And got a brief respite from the overwhelming melodrama that was our relationship and our lives. It was definitely a memorable night.

[title quotation by Aristotle]

one's real life is often the life that one does not lead

2011-08-12T07:09:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 12: Something you love
The view from the bedroom window at my old apartment.

[title quotation by Oscar Wilde]

the wind shows us how close to the edge we are

2011-08-11T07:14:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 11: Something you hate
A couple of years ago, I had plans to go home for Christmas. The day before I was supposed to leave, we got a freak ice-storm. Everything--roads, power-lines, trees, cars--was covered with an inch or more of solid ice...and then it snowed. It was a nightmare. Because of the weather that followed, it was impossible for me to make the trip. It was my first Christmas without my family. A lot of my friends made it a LOT better, but it was pretty rough. This picture shows (however blurrily) the ice, with the beginning of the snow on top - and the incredibly low price that we were paying for gas at the time.

[title quotation by Joan Didion]

are we not like two volumes of one book?

2011-08-10T07:09:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 10: The person you do the most weird things with
I'm choosing to interpret this as "the person with whom I do things that are more weird than the weird things that I do with other people," rather than "the person with whom I do the greatest quantity of weird things." This is the sole representative of the Next generation, my brother's daughter. Besides loving her to pieces, I find myself doing the strangest things in her presence. Why? I guess it's because she reminds me of me.
[title quotation by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore]

cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater

2011-08-09T21:27:00.005-05:00

Movie you love with a passion.
Trust

Movie you vow to never watch.
E.T.

Movie that literally left you speechless.
Schindler's List

Movie you always recommend.
That's really, really hard to say, since I've got such...odd...taste in movies - they're hardly universal. Maybe An American in Paris?

Actor/actress you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie.
Peter Outerbridge. Lip Service, for instance, was absolute crap - but he's still very good in it.

Actor/actress you don’t get the appeal for.
Affleck

Actor/actress, living or dead, you’d love to meet.
Audie Murphy

Sexiest actor/actress you’ve seen. (Picture required!)
The aforementioned Mr. Outerbridge qualifies for that one.

Dream cast.
meh. There's no telling how it would all work out onscreen, so there's no point projecting something pointless. I'd love to see Jean Reno in something remotely close to the stature of The Professional again. How's that?

Favorite actor pairing.
Jet Li & Jason Statham. There are some Jet Li movies that I've liked pretty well, but Statham alone is dead-dull. Together, they're ten times better, like Hope & Crosby.

Favorite movie setting.
Iceland. No Such Thing was a hit for me in large part because of the setting: gorgeous!

Favorite decade for movies.
I'm really not that kind of fan.

Chick flick or action movie?
Action movies, definitely. I'd so much rather watch multiple people having multiple bones broken at once than sort my way through he said/she said melodrama. There's too much of that in real life--I watch movies to escape!

Hero, villain or anti-hero?
Anti-hero. *sigh*

Black and white or color?
I do love black & white, in their time, but I'll generally choose color.

[from The Cat, who called it "The Fifteen Movie Questions Meme", and got it here; title quotation by Roman Polanski]

the only journey is the one within

2011-08-09T07:26:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 09: The person who has gotten you through the most
There are a few people who come to mind, of course. And some people go about their "getting me through" in more quiet ways, not lending themselves to this sort of expression of gratitude. And some would be downright pissed if I posted a picture of them...y'all know who you are.

So there's the Goddess H., the one who took me by the hand and, more or less cheerfully, led me through the waist-deep morass (partially of my own design) a few years ago, and has since been there all along ever since. Thank God.

[title quotation by Rainer Maria Rilke]

had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked

2011-08-08T07:26:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 08: A picture that makes you laugh
For one year, my next-door neighbor through the thin wall was this guy, who shall be known as "Dan'l". He lived in the studio apartment, rarely had any visitors (and when he did, it was his sister). His unfortunate tendency to speak loudly into his telephone provided me with far more information than neighbors usually have about each other: he was a diver (including rescue-diving), from the group of four cities to the west of here, intending (however vaguely) to go to medical school when his finances were in order, and he did not intend to stay in this area for very long. We had also, on more than one occasion, watched the same TV programs at the same time, to the point that I would turn off the sound on mine so I didn't have the annoying stereo effect through the wall. We would laugh at the same time during the programs (or, in the case of Extreme Home Makeover, cry at the same time), which was odd to say the least. I had apparently mentioned Dan'l once or twice, because one evening, while talking with The Cat, I mentioned that he was just then arriving home - his Jeep was pulling into the parking lot. "You should take a picture of him sometime." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my camera on the coffee table. "Hang on...."

I took three pictures, as he was walking away from the Jeep and toward the building.

I didn't think anything of it, really, until I loaded them into my computer a few days later and looked at them at actual-size (rather than in the little camera window). As one can tell from this last of the three photos, he had clearly noticed that I was taking pictures of him - he's looking straight at the camera with an expression that is, at best, puzzled. Since we'd encountered each other in the hallways once or twice since then and he hadn't said anything, he must have (a) thought I was a really mellow stalker, and (b) not been too upset. I was completely mortified - and I still laugh, every time I see this photo.
[title quotation by Ralph Ellison, from Battle Royal]

And you know what a smile means, don't you?

2011-08-07T07:59:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 07: Your treasure

Grace - the state of mind brought back with me from Norman, Oklahoma. This picture was taken on the campus of the University of Oklahoma. It was a cold, windy day in March, but the sun was bright and my photos turned out spectacularly beautiful. Whenever I look at them, I feel like the place, and those feelings, are not so far away.

[title quotation by Mary Oliver, from 'Dogfish', in New and Selected Poems]

a man who is "of sound mind" is one who keeps the inner madman under lock and key

2011-08-07T00:24:00.001-05:00

what’s genius?
I don’t know
but I do know that
the difference between a madman and a
professional is
that
a pro does as well as he can within what
he has set out to do
and a madman
does exceptionally well at what
he can’t help doing.

[Charles Bukowski, from ‘artistic selfishness,’ in What Matters Most is How You Walk Through the Fire; title quotation by Paul Valéry]

I never make stupid mistakes, only very, very clever ones

2011-08-06T07:24:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 06: A picture of someone you'd love to trade places with for a day
Emily, the alligator. Long-time companion of someone I know from way back.
[title quotation by John Peel]

I love rotten weather

2011-08-05T15:39:00.004-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 05: My brush with fame
The US PGA Championship, 2004. Whistling Straits, Kohler, WI. The weather was terrible for mid-August: cold, rainy, extremely windy. Foreign players had the advantage. I was there for the last day of practice and the first day of play. It was a huge thrill, really unlike anything else I've ever experienced, to get the autograph of my favorite player - José María Olazábal - and to see him "up close and personal." Unforgettable.

[title quotation by Tom Watson - who never won the PGA Championship, and was runner-up only once. The whole quotation reads: "I love rotten weather. The founders of the game accepted nature for what it gave, or what it took away. Wind and rain are great challenges. They separate real golfers. Let the seas pound against the shore, let the rains pour.”]

pay no attention to what the critics say

2011-08-04T23:03:00.005-05:00

Tara Ariano is ignorant. Do you know who she is? I didn't think so. She is, apparently, a television "reviewer" - nahhh, she's just a blogger (from "The Set") - and she was BLOWN AWAY by the idea that the television personality with the highest current Q rating is Paulie Perrette of NCIS. Why was she surprised by that? Because she, Tara Ariano, has never watched the show.

Oh, now I understand! Television is only worth watching if someone - in this case, a reviewer - no, a blogger, for God's sake - tells us to! And them only because she liked it, and not because it had any artistic, entertainment, educational, or other value. If only someone would have informed me before! It would have saved me so much time, in actually thinking for myself! The fact that her television is "basically on all the time" (that's a pretty shitty grasp of the English language, by the way, there, Tara) does not surprise me in the least. She would be better served spending less time spouting opinion (also shitty, since it is clearly not in line with the popularity of the show, the character, or the actress who plays the character!) and more time doing some research into why the show, character, and actress are so popular. Then she might not look petty and ignorant when next she blathers.

That's just my opinion.

[title quotation by Jean Sibelius]

don't despair - you'll eventually get there

2011-08-04T21:15:00.002-05:00

What's the remedy for you to stop worrying?
write it down and set it aside, in some way. Put it in my journal, add it to my to-do list (which, in written form, includes only items that are "to be done at some point not in the immediate future, but if I fail to add them to this list, there is some danger that they will be forgotten, which makes me worry about them - but, once added to this list, can be safely moved out of the 'worry' file"), doodle on a piece of paper and throw away, text message to my email to be dealt with at work (if at home) or at home (if at work), etc.
What is your favorite summertime beverage?
Sand Creek hard lemonade. Or water. Or tea.
Do you use any freeware on your computer? If yes, do tell.
probably not?
What is one thing about your home that has to be just so or it drives you crazy when it comes to organization?
um, I live alone, so if I admit that, it sounds like I'm more than a little crazy. Though I'd imagine at least two of the people who helped me move (Cat?, Shoe?) are chomping at the bit to offer suggestions on this one!
Is there a specific subject you're especially curious about? A person? A region of the world? An animal? A field of study?

subject: neutrality in the Second World War
person: the enigmatic nephew
region of the world: the Panama Canal Zone
animal: meerkat
field of study: *sigh*...psychology
What do you consider your most interesting trait?
I suppose that the way(s) in which I am 'observant' could reveal something to me, if I knew how or why I am - if I am
What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life?
my fear of dogs springs from having been attacked (or at least terribly frightened by) a neighbor's German shepherd when I was around 4 or 5 years old. My fear of heights, though, seems to be experientially groundless.
Who do you want to yell at to "get a grip!"?
only everyone at work, on a rotating basis. They're all bleepin' nuts.
What do you wear to particularly look great for a party or event?
depends on the party or event. I have a few go-to outfits that would be terrible of interchanged for each other. (The funeral skirt, for instance, would not be quite right for a picnic, and the tight capri jeans would crash and burn at a funeral.) One guaranteed hit: my dove gray studded sandals. They're not for everyday, but they are beyond fabulous.

[from here, from here; title quotation from "Get a Grip" by Semisonic]

Tomorrow's 31-Day Photo Challenge entry will post a little later than they have been; the photo that I need is a couple hundred miles away. Expect it in the early afternoon....

you can fall in love at first sight with a place as with a person

2011-08-04T07:53:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 04: A picture of your favorite memory
For someone who grew up in the four distinct seasons of Minnesota, southern Florida is a fantasy land of perfect, and perfectly bland, weather. At least, that's what I thought until I visited Miami. Although it's nothing like what I'm used to, it really did feel like home from the moment I arrived. I loved it, and I would go back in a second if I had the chance. The surreal colors, the balmy temperature and salty air, the international and very metropolitan (yet accessible and casual) atmosphere...it all combines to make me feel completely comfortable, welcome, and happy. This photo reminds me of how light my heart was when I was there.

[title quotation by Alec Waugh]

hearts, deep in their hiding places, have begun to hope once more

2011-08-03T22:31:00.004-05:00

Be near me now,
My tormenter, my love, be near me--
At this hour when night comes down,
When, having drunk from the gash of sunset, darkness comes
With the balm of musk in its hands, its diamond lancets,
When it comes with cries of lamentation,
with laughter with songs;
Its blue-gray anklets of pain clinking with every step.
At this hour when hearts, deep in their hiding places,
Have begun to hope once more, when they start their vigil
For hands still enfolded in sleeves;
When wine being poured makes the sound
of inconsolable children
who, though you try with all your heart,
cannot be soothed.
When whatever you want to do cannot be done,
When nothing is of any use;
--At this hour when night comes down,
When night comes, dragging its long face,
dressed in mourning,
Be with me,
My tormenter, my love, be near me.

[Faiz Ahmed Faiz, 'Be Near Me', trans. by Naomi Lazard]

rivers are roads which move, and which carry us whither we desire to go

2011-08-03T07:51:00.000-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 03: A landscape photo
It's hard to imagine any landscape that could mean more to me than the Mississippi River at Winona. Winter or Summer, high water or low, skies sunny or gray - this will always be my vision of home.

[title quotation by Blaise Pascal]

sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero

2011-08-02T07:40:00.002-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

Day 02: You and the person you have been closest with the longest

My brother was always good about "helping" with the opening of my gifts and that sort of thing. Since he's the absolute best, I really don't begrudge him any of it--even though we both pretend that it was rough on both of us.

[title quotation by Marc Brown]

love is hot / truth is molten

2011-08-01T17:59:00.007-05:00

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You, Part Two
BY John Peck

from McSweeney's.com

- - - -

Kiss: You have partied on a boat in a driveway.
Queen: You have injured several people by jogging into them.
The Byrds: There is a thin layer of sand on the bottom shelf of your fridge.
Bob Dylan: You have the Swiss army knife that comes with a map reader and tweezers.
Electric Light Orchestra: You have three lava lamp bases and five tops.
Mike Oldfield: You have five lava lamp bases and three tops.
The Beach Boys: You won’t live anywhere without a built-in microwave.
The Band: You have misspelled your name while carving it into a picnic table.
Genesis: You know what a steeplechase is.
The Zombies: You know what French cuffs are.
The Doobie Brothers: You have swallowed exactly two spiders--one accidentally, one on purpose.
Warren Zevon: You have a jacket with elbow patches.
.38 Special: You have a tattoo of an animal driving a vehicle.
Bob Seger: You lost your virginity in a Chevette with a spoiler.
The Georgia Satellites: You lost your virginity in a Chevette that was being towed.
REO Speedwagon: You have a favorite brand of lip balm.
Bay City Rollers: Your shower has flower-shaped traction pads.
Bruce Springsteen: Your ringtone is either “Takin’ Care of Business” or “Chariots of Fire.”
UFO: You have burned yourself while urinating on a campfire.
Slade: You have smoked speed through a TV antenna.
Procol Harum: You have smoked hash through an antique rifle.
Heart: You have smoked chamomile tea through a hookah.
Alice Cooper: You have a photo of your dog wearing sunglasses on your phone.
Foghat: You swim in man-made lakes exclusively.
Stevie Ray Vaughan: You have a bolo tie in the shape of a gun, guitar, or state.
Stealer’s Wheel: You own an adding machine.
Traffic: You have several incense scars.
Emerson, Lake and Palmer: You have several self-inflicted incense scars.
Jackson Browne: Your favorite cola is RC Cola.
Hall and Oates: You have successfully fought someone off with a ski.
Blind Faith: You constantly misuse the word “penultimate.”
Billy Squier: Your vanity plates say ROKRMOM.
Neil Young: You know at least three stores that sell bidis.
America: You think America is Neil Young.
Joni Mitchell: You have accidentally eaten more than half of a scented candle.
Montrose: You have used a bandana as a coffee filter.
Steppenwolf: You have three or more cigarette burns in hard-to-reach places.
Golden Earring: You have three or more intentional cigarillo burns.
Jimmy Buffett: You have used AAA as a cab.
Brownsville Station: You have tried to use AAA without a car.
Meat Loaf: You have a mustard stain on your mousepad.
Joe Walsh: You have fired a gun while in your underwear.
Don Henley: You have been shot at while in your underwear.
Bread: You have a cordless phone with an extendable antenna.
Donovan: You have a non-mammal pet with a human name, e.g. an iguana named Phillip.
Joe Jackson: You are an excellent speller.
Steve Miller Band: You have not yet figured out how to turn off the hourly beep on your digital watch.
Grand Funk Railroad: You have become stuck trying to retrieve a quarter from behind a stove.
Blood, Sweat & Tears: You have become stuck trying to retrieve your friend who likes Grand Funk Railroad from behind a stove.
Little River Band: You have used a riding lawnmower to flee across state lines.
Big Brother and the Holding Company: Your coffee table is a big wooden spool.
Alabama: You are from Alabama.
Kansas: Your first kiss was with a Toto fan.
Toto: You don’t really remember your first kiss.
MC5: You have barbecued a whole chicken at 3 am.
Ozzy Osbourne: You have barbecued a frozen pizza at 3 am.
Dio: You have accidentally dropped a flashlight into a barbecue.
King Crimson: You have spent an entire afternoon watching a screensaver.
Eric Clapton: You yell when you play table tennis.
Marshall Tucker Band: You wear black socks with white shoes.
Little Feat: You have hit a baby with a frisbee.
Buffalo Springfield: You have broken a reinforced window with a frisbee.
Blackfoot: You have stolen a wine cooler from the back of a pickup truck.
New Riders of the Purple Sage: You have been bitten by a Blackfoot fan while trying to get your wine cooler back.

[title quotation from "Barabajagal" by Donovan]

remember that always dressing in understated good taste is the same as playing dead

2011-08-01T07:22:00.003-05:00

The 31-Day Photo Challenge

I have accepted the 31-Day Photo Challenge. Each day in August, I will post a picture in response to a list of prompts (here and in two other places, meaning that I will post a total of 93 pictures). The list was derived from one that has been used in various places online over time, but has been customized in two ways. First, the two friends with whom I've agreed to undertake the challenge and I decided that the photographs should be personal, rather than reposts of other peoples' pictures, wherever possible. We also wanted to show off more of our range of photographic talents.

Please join me in this challenge, either as it goes on or at some later time, if you are inspired by this process. (Let me know if you want the list; I will be glad to send it to you all at once.)

Day 01: A childhood photo

At 7 months, I was both charming and sartorially resplendent.

[title quotation by Susan Catherine]

I just wanted to be sure of you

2011-07-30T23:22:00.003-05:00

Which state do you consider to be the most boring state?
in general? Iowa. (Sorry, Connie!) To drive through? Ohio, by far!

If any chef from the Food Network could cater your wedding, who would it be?
Masaharu Morimoto

What's the last thing you ate that was red?
ketchup on a hotdog. Yes, I'm from the very upper midwest.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
nah, it's notoriously quiet

Have you ever lost a best friend after a fight?
probably not. The "best friends" that I've "lost" have mostly slithered shamefully away - or shamelessly, prehaps.

Have you ever washed an iPod or MP3 player in the washing machine?
um, no

Have you ever screamed/yelled angrily at a teacher?
not face-to-face

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yes. It is not conducive to positive dreams.

Have you ever regretted being in a relationship with someone?
yes. See, e.g., the "best friend" question, above.

Have you ever acted like you understood something when you didn't?
there was this one time? In law school?

Have you ever thought someone must have been insane?
lately?

Have you ever pretended to be older than what you are?
sure. Mostly recently was probably to scare off a wildly inappropriate "love interest". Ahem.

Have you ever cried because you were turned down?
I think there were some angry tears on the Kennedy

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?
yep

Have you ever pretended to like someone when you didn't?
yes. That is a very ill-advised course of action.

Have you ever stolen money from one of your parents?
no

When did you last see a movie in theaters?
long enough ago that it doesn't matter

When was the last time you kissed someone on the lips?
3 weeks-ish?

When was the last time you baked/cooked something?
Tuesday

When was the last time you danced like a crazy person?
probably in the car on the way to Minnesota, around the time that the road construction guys in the opposite ditch waved to me, presumably because my music was so loud. Oops.

When was the last time you just wanted to be invisible?
at work

When was the last time you got a gift you absolutely hated?
how long is it since I was married? My former M-in-law was the empress of terrible gifts

When was the last time you got into a physical fight?
I slapped a guy a couple of years ago. Wish I could go back and do it about 20 times harder. And 20 times more.

When was the last time you had to sleep with a nightlight?
I slept with a light on the first couple of nights in the new place, so that if I walked in the night I wouldn't fall down the stairs. And pretty much every night that I was in the Rat Hole, in part so that if anyone broke in I'd have a slightly better chance of either defending myself or escaping before they did whatever they were there to do.

When was the last time you were under some serious stress?
you mean, besides the Rat Hole situation? Work has not been pleasant lately. I really, really needed a vacation.

When was the last time you watched your favorite movie?
I'm due for a screening of the favorites

When was the last time you downloaded a song?
earlier this summer, I did a mix project commissioned by a friend, for another friend. Although I had a portion of the raw materials already, I acquired the rest to complete the project. I have to admit, it wasn't my typical iTunes order...

What would you say is your favorite hobby?
mixing CDs, reading, writing

What is your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends?
drink. Should I apologize for that? I'm not really sorry. I also play pool with some, watch movies with some, eat pizza with some (though I'm looking for a new local place because the old favorite - not Chuck's place - wasn't that good, last week).

What would you rather do: shower or bath?
a really good shower is a rare treasure

What is your absolute favorite dessert?
vanilla bean ice cream with fresh raspberries. Or peach pie. Or cakey espresso brownies with fudge frosting. Or...

What can someone do to make you smile, no matter what?
I can't say. It brought tears to my eyes to think about it. Anyway, to give it away cheapens it, doesn't it?

What do the majority of people think of you?
that the inside is just like the outside. Trust me, the inside is way darker and twistier than the outside will ever look, even with double-digit tattoos and six piercings (so far). Not only that, but I'm generally fairly kind and quiet upon first meeting.

What was the last gift you bought someone for an occasion?
that would probably be a gift card for a graduation. Or a combination of gift cards, a very carefully mixed CD, and a sausage-and-ketchup card, all individually wrapped, for a wedding.

What is/was your favorite class in school?
in undergrad, Historical Attitudes Toward Death. In law school, Evidence. And in grad school, History of the Reformation.

What is the color if your cell phone, if you have one?
gunmetal-ish, I suppose?

What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life?
so far, I'm leaning toward a two-hour argument with Brian-from-Madison about our allegedly potential incompatibility, or prehaps The Kiss That Wasn't.

Would you ever donate money to charity?
I have.

Would you ever think about doing porn?
*snort*

Would you ever dump the person you're with for someone cuter?
depends how cute the person I was with, was.

No, really--that's ridiculous.

Would you ever disown one of your relatives?
would. Have, I suppose. I don't know. It's not like you have to put a label on the box you put it in. You can just put it in a box and file it away.

Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you?
it would be more to the point to follow Homer's edict, from The Odyssey, where "his secret parts they drew out, for the dogs to eat
raw".

Would you ever consider becoming a teacher?
That does not fall within the realm of my possible life outcomes.

Would you ever give a hitchhiker a ride somewhere?
only if I literally knew him/her prior to that time, and absolutely trusted them already

Would you ever try fasting for a whole week?
hell, no

Would you ever try to quit one of your addictions?
have done. Unpleasant. I'm happy with the addictions I have at the moment, thanks.

Would you ever dye your hair purple?
nope. Anything in the red realm doesn't suit me.

Would you ever try being with a member of the same sex?
some of my best friends are female.

Would you ever kill yourself to save someone else?
the possible logical utility to be obtained by killing myself--by which I take to mean actively committing suicide, not "throwing myself on the grenade" or something of that sort--is microscopic. The best I could really hope for is to decrease another person's potential unhappiness by ceasing to be, and that is extraordinarily speculative. There would be a much higher payoff in "poisoning their well" with antidepressants, or moving out of their vicinity.

So, no.

Would you ever spend $100 for the best tasting hamburger in the world?
I'm not that fond of hamburgers. I might pay that much for the best ... never mind.

Would you ever consider becoming a nun?
nope. I'm neither Catholic nor convinced that celibacy is reasonable.

Would you rather break up with someone or have them dump you?
oh, yes, please! [Stupid question, stupid question, stupid question.] So what you're asking is, would I rather be a bitch or a doormat? I'll take "...door number three."

Would you rather chew gum off the ground or kill a squirrel?
gum off the ground, presuming that it's in a wrapper in an unopened pack, and I saw it fall off the gum truck. Because I can't see even taking an imaginary innocent creature's life for the sake of conjecture.

Would you rather eat chocolate or fruity candies?
chocolate

Would you rather listen to one CD forever or become deaf?
I'll take the CD, as long as it's got extraordinarily high capacity and can be periodically turned off

Would you rather be deaf or blind?
no

Would you rather have a turtle or a frog for a pet?
frog, so long as it's the hallucinogenic variety. Ribbit!

Would you rather dye your hair green or blue?
blue

Would you rather move schools [or] become home-schooled?
I'll move schools, thanks. Homeschooling is not something I should talk about in an open forum.

Would you rather text or talk on the phone?
depends. Probably text.

Would you rather spend a day with Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus?
LG, please. Miley makes me want to punch myself in the eye.

Would you rather learn to play piano or guitar?
piano. Just thinking about playing the guitar makes my hands hurt.

Would you rather have a stomach-ache or headache?
stomach. My head hurts way too much and too often.

Would you rather be overly interesting or overly dull?
I regretfully admit that I'd rather be too interesting, since it's a condition with which I'm being accustomed.

Would you rather be too loud or too quiet?
too quiet. I am ninja! Hear me...not at all.

Do you remember the first time you ever went into the ocean?
yes - Cocoa Beach, spring break, sophomore year.

What Asian country would you like to visit the most? Why?
South Korea, because I'm a glutton for odd punishment. Japan is also fascinating to me.

Have you ever thought that a passerby was the one?
only in a more metaphorical sense

Ever told someone that your fake jewelery was really real?
I don't think so?

Who has the worst public restrooms?
PJs Courthouse Pub

What did you use gel pens for?
writing on checks - they can't be "washed"

On what pages of the yearbook are you on?
band, yearbook, and various candids

What country music star should be honored in the Hall of Fame?
Patsy Cline. I don't know whether she is already - probably yes - but if not, she ought to be. A terrific voice and lots of soul.

Would you eat cat food for $500?
no. Cat food is one of the worst things in the universe. Add several zeros and we'll talk again.

Who is the last person you smelled?
you wouldn't know him

Do you like going to the dentist?
it's not so bad. Only happens twice per year and it serves a purpose.

Have you ever smelled a dairy farm?
uh, yeah. Need I remind you where I grew up?

Name a song that got overplayed really fast:
I don't listen to the radio, so I don't hear what's overplayed unless I'm to blame

Have you ever had an ultrasound?
sure

Do you shop at Payless?
ironically, I was there earlier today - for the first time in years

What Friends character are you most like?
I'm a little bit like all of them but not a lot like any of them - except for Phoebe, who I could never take seriously as anything but a cartoon

When's the last time you had a popsicle?
years. Food on a stick doesn't appeal.

[from The Cat--who was annoyed by this one, and who got it from here; title quotation by A.A. Milne]

go to the ends of the earth for you

2011-07-29T22:24:00.003-05:00

What has someone done [that is] unusual, to make you feel their love?
someone I used to know - a blog friend, as a matter of fact - once drove ~75 miles in the middle of the night, meeting me in the parking lot of a mall in the next town to the right (on the map), because I'd had a bad day. He wouldn't take no for an answer, insisting that I drive over to hang out with him for a while. Because he'd jumped in the car when our conversation started, he had quite a lead on me, so by the time he convinced me to go out, he made a much greater proportion of the trip than I did. I don't think he minded, though. We sat in his [cruddy] van, in the rain, and talked for a few hours. When he was satisfied that things were back on a relatively even keel again, he "let" me leave. He was a very kind man, and I miss him.
Do you own a smart phone? If yes, is it everything you wanted? If no, how seriously have you considered a purchase of the new smart phone?
my phone is not the dumbest ever, but it's definitely not "smart." I want one, but I neither want to pay the initial outlay nor the monthly data-plan fee. Until I'm independently wealthy, I doubt that I'll bother.
Have you ever camped out to purchase something?
a friend and I "camped out" at Stean 'N Shake for a couple of hours once, waiting for the midnight release of one of the godforsaken Hairy P0tt#r books at Barnes & Noble. The friend was picking it up for her son, who was not "allowed" to attend the release "party" because his recently-ex girlfriend was going to be there, and he'd lost custody of the event in the breakup. Kids....
What is your worst habit?
discretion
What is your best habit?
tooth-brushing
In your opinion, what is life's greatest mystery?
long-term friendship
Are you one of those people who is constantly busy with projects, social outings, etc., or do you just like to lay low and stay home?
isn't it possible to be both? During the week, I work every day (full time), plus have two PT appointments, run regular errands, see friends (OK, not so terribly often), and occasionally just drive for the sake of clearing my head. Hardly "social" behavior but also not "laying low" exactly. On the weekends, I'm either constantly running around taking care of things - last weekend I was at the secretary of state's office getting license and plates renewed/updated, shopping, banking, etc. - or pulled in multiple directions by various groups of friends, or else I'm home by myself from close of business Friday until the opening bell rings on Monday. I suppose I could have just answered "yes" and left it at that.
Whether you're busy all the time or like to just chill, have you always been that way?
when I was a lot younger, I was probably more consistently energetic. With young adulthood came a certain level of "chill" that has persisted. True adulthood brought a degree of solitude and laziness that prolonged singleness has intensified.
Is there something you'd like to change about how you spend your time? If so, what is it? If not, why not?
I would very much like to be more active, i.e. more fit and healthy. I suppose that "motivated" also falls in there somewhere, although that's a lovely, vague concept, isn't it? I'd like to tweak my work hours back a little so I'm not so consistently late. More sleep would be good. None of this is a really, really unbearable problem, however, so I don't forsee spending a lot of time working through solutions right now.

[from Ze Feline, who got it here; title quotation from "Make You Feel My Love" by Luka Bloom]

all the hippies sing together

2011-07-28T22:41:00.005-05:00

On being dated (my true answer is all bold - the ones I wish I could claim are all italics...)
What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You.
BY John Peck

from McSweeney's
- - - -
Tears For Fears: You have used whiteout on a pair of white loafers.
Art of Noise: You have been paid to be furniture at a party.
Pat Benatar: You have had three or more Superball bruises at one time.
Air Supply: You have punched an arcade game hard enough to injure yourself.
Eddie Money: You have eaten several Shrinky-Dinks on purpose.
Bryan Adams: Your hair smells faintly like barbecue sauce.
Dexy’s Midnight Runners: Your shower smells like Skittles and unfiltered cigarettes.
Dead or Alive: Your pet smells like Goldschlager.
Tangerine Dream: You have a half-full can of Sanka at the back of your cupboard.
Devo: You have dissected a Nintendo game.
Simple Minds: You have tasted a scented pen.
Kajagoogoo: You have used AquaNet in self-defense.
Limahl: You have used Nair in self-defense.
Naked Eyes: You have almost been tricked into eating silly string on a saltine.
Gary Numan: You own more than one pair of sock garters.
Mike and the Mechanics: You have thrown a Rolodex at a raccoon or skunk.
Peter Gabriel: You know what Fimo tastes like.
Roxette: You have injured yourself with a Q-Tip.
Madonna: Your bedroom smells like Midori.
B-52s: Your laundry room smells like Midori.
Richard Marx: You have woken up to a dog licking your hair.
Wham!: You have made nachos while on ecstasy.
The Cure: You have several bracelets or rings you cannot remove.
Berlin: The last book you read used “countenance” as a verb.
This Mortal Coil: You know the act, scene and line that “this mortal coil” comes from.
Billy Idol: You own a piece of clothing that involves both argyle and leather.
Robert Palmer: You have used “argyle” as a verb.
Tommy Tutone: You have attempted to use a Polaroid picture as an ID.
Rick Astley: You have used a hairnet as a handbag.
Bangles: You have chewed gum while delivering a keynote speech or eulogy.
Psychedelic Furs: You have worn sunglasses through an entire tooth cleaning.
The English Beat: You have injured yourself while doing the Electric Slide.
General Public: You have injured yourself while doing the Centipede.
Madness: You have injured several bystanders while doing the Centipede.
Men at Work: You wear shorts with boots at least once a week.
Eurythmics: You have lost a mood ring in a hot tub.
The Smiths: You have read aloud to a hamster, ferret, or turtle.
Joy Division: You have been bitten by a cat while trying to dress it in period costume.
New Order: You own several fish tanks but no fish.
A Flock of Seagulls: You have destroyed a calculator watch in anger.
Men Without Hats: You have accidentally dropped a pager into a tub of frozen yogurt.
Nena: You have put a cigarette out in a piece of birthday cake.
John Cougar Mellencamp: You have put a cigarette out in an industrial-sized jar of relish.
Loverboy: You have eaten relish as a meal.
Rick Springfield: Your wallet weighs over a pound.
Falco: You have killed a fly with a program from Cats.
Michael Jackson: You have exploded a beanbag chair by landing on it.
Huey Lewis and the News: You are hanging from monkey bars in two or more successive class pictures.
The Police: You have shattered a Rubik’s Cube with a rock.
Sting: You have tried and failed to shatter a Rubik’s Cube with a rock.
Big Country: You have a Highlander poster in a tube in the back of your closet.
Soft Cell: You mouth the words when you watch Highlander.
A-ha: You own a VCR with a copy of Highlander stuck in it.
Survivor: You have cut a Nerf football in half to see what was inside.
INXS: You have knocked someone over with an Aerobie.
Thomas Dolby: You have used a laserdisc as a shaving mirror.
Pet Shop Boys: You have woken up next to an empty bottle of Magic Shell.
Mr. Mister: You have forgotten soup in the freezer and ice cream in the microwave on the same night.
Wang Chung: You have a money clip with an amusement park logo printed on it.
Bauhaus: You know what LARPing is.
OMD: You have gone to a party dressed as a dark elf.
Culture Club: You have woken up under someone who was dressed as a dark elf.
Ministry: You have thrown up on someone who was dressed as a dark elf.
Cocteau Twins: You have spilled Zima on someone who was dressed as a dark elf.
Toni Basil: You have spilled Zima into a motel heating vent.
The Pointer Sisters: You dot your i’s with hearts.
The Pretenders: You are excellent at dodgeball.
ABC: You were one of the first ten people in history to drop a cell phone in a toilet.
Lionel Richie: You have shaved a word into your hair.
The Cars: You have hit a whiffle ball with a fake lightsaber.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood: You have woken up under your high school gym teacher.
Joan Jett: You have woken up on top of your high school gym teacher.
Simply Red: You have temporarily blinded someone by whipping your hair into them.
Europe: You think Europe is Asia.
Asia: You think Asia is Europe.
REM: You minored in something.
Cyndi Lauper: You have lost several silk scarves to escalators.
Starship: You consistently pay for extra cheese at Subway.
The Fixx: You have sunbathed in a suit.
Phil Collins: You have worn shorts while accepting an award or diploma.
Go-Go’s: Your favorite air freshener is Vanillaroma.
Bananarama: Your favorite air freshener is New Car.
Prince: You have used a hamster ball as a cocktail shaker.
Depeche Mode: You have drawn Tintin or the Little Prince in the margin of a math test.
Erasure: You have been caught kissing a copy of The Little Prince.
Thompson Twins: You have been spanked with a copy of The Little Prince.
Human League: You have been spanked with a VHS copy of The Neverending Story.
The Clash: Your safety word is “Nicaragua.”
Grace Jones: Your safety word is forty-seven syllables long.
Brian Eno: Your safety word is “10011101.”
Duran Duran: Your safety word is “Kim Wilde.”
Kim Wilde: You have forgotten your safety word.

[title quotation from Prince's Let's Pretend We're Married]

there's no proof she's being stalked by Ninja squirrels either, but if she's scared of them…

2011-07-15T21:56:00.001-05:00

Which House Character Are You?

More on House. Created by BuddyTV

*snort*

it is designed to break your heart

2011-07-13T18:14:00.000-05:00

When was the last time you went camping?
I was ~13 years old. Not a big camping fan.
Where and who with?
BRF, Wisconsin - with my friend Christa and her family
Have you ever been to Brooklyn?
no
Are you a YouTube addict?
not hardly, though I use it regularly enough (to clip into FB) that when I type "Y" into a browser, it's the first auto-fill both at home and at work
Did you play with Play-Doh as a kid?
yes
Do you own any beanies?
I do. They're in a box labeled "stuffed things." The Cat played with them (or something?) the evening of my first move this summer. Since then, they've been groped by a toddler. I may need to wash - or possibly burn - them.
Have you ever found a four-leaf clover?
not that I recall
Have you ever been to Malaysia?
not lately
Are you good at lighting fires?
so I've been told
Have you ever run away from home?
only in the macro sense
Does Steve Martin make you LOL?
sometimes. Some of his stuff, e.g. The Man with Two Brains and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, still kills me.
Do you own a raincoat?
nope
Do you have trouble sleeping in beds which aren't your own?
not at all. In fact, sometimes I prefer it. Ha!
Have you ever made your family dinner as a treat?
yes, when I was cooking for a living and thought it was impressive to make the sort of thing I was just learning how to make.
...or just to suck up?
probably a little of that, too, but more when I was in high school than later.
Do you listen to the radio much?
almost never. Like, maybe 2 hours a year.
Have you ever been to...
Chicago? uh, yeah
New York City? no, and I can't really see it happening unless I had to
Anchorage? not yet, but I foresee the possibility within the next year!
Have you ever been to...
New Zealand? no, but I'd love to go
Canada? not yet - but I've heard the bowling is fantastic
Spain? no. Want!
Do you have fluorescent or regular light bulbs in your home?
a mix of both. I'm slowly replacing standards with CFLs.
When was the last time you lied?
yesterday
Do you use Skype?
no
Do you know someone who constantly has ear buds in?
he may have removed them for the new job. I wonder if it contributes to the Mumbling?
Where did you last walk to?
first floor from second floor...?
What was the last book you had to read for school?
something tedious and law-related
Name someone who is an excellent listener:
Reed.
Who did you last speak to over the phone?
D
Katy Perry. Yay or nay?
meh
Do you have your own snow gear, or do you hire it?
I have some (a car kit and a few odds and ends in the garage) but it's supposed to be done by "The Association" where I live. We'll see how well that works. I predict that I'll at least be shoveling in front of the garage door, and the front steps (which I neverever use).
Do you think you could run eight miles?
not even if I were being chased by very slow dogs
Did you ever get into the whole Twilight craze?
not even remotely. I think Kristen Stewart is a mutant, and Robert Pattinson is even worse. But I can imagine the books are probably pretty good.
What was the last movie you saw in theatres?
El Orfanato. It's been a while.
Name five things on your desk.
1. a tiny cutout from the Men with Brooms DVD box
What is your middle name?
in Norwegian, it is "Daggry". Sorta glad it's not Norwegian.
Have you ever hit a deer in your car?
no, I typically ask them to step outside first
What colour is your mailbox?
cream? oatmeal? I don't know.
Do you use the notepad on your phone regularly?
I don't think I ever have. I do send text messages to my email now and then, though.

***

What kind of clothes do you wear for fall?
pretty much the same as I ever do, since I work indoors
What lotion do you normally use when your skin starts getting dry because of the cold?
Aveeno
Are you dyeing your hair a lighter color for summer (some people actually do that)?
yep
Any back-to-school shopping you still need to do?
no - I buy clothes whenever I need something or am in the mood to do so
What jacket did you buy or will you wear this year?
I'm looking for something that will qualify as a "pimp coat"
What's your favorite thing about summer?
no snow/ice, and long days
Least favorite thing?
hot, and long days
What are you being for Halloween this year?
myself
Was your house ever *gasp* the "pretzel house"?
doubtful. I think my mom was partial to [red] licorice.
Or maybe you actually like getting pretzels instead of candy?
pretzels are fine, but not for Halloween
What candy does your house normally give out?
I haven't, for a long time. I bet I'd have to in the new place. {{{shudder}}} Will need to hide out again, prehaps at the Cat-Beasts. That went well last year.
Worst Halloween costume you ever had?
"a fat tomato." It was hot, and throughout the day I lost my stuffing through the loose elastic around my microscopic legs. By lunchtime I'd shrunk to something more resembling a Bhut Jolokia. Pathetic, that.
Best you ever had?
I somehow lucked into one of those Maryann (from Gilligan's Island) type casual costumes once during high school. Amazing.
What are you doing for Halloween this year?
as explained above, probably hiding in the Cat-Beast's guest room, unless they're not amenable
Do you like pumpkin pie?
I can take it or leave it. It's really just an excuse to eat whipped cream.
Do you celebrate the Fourth of July?
meh
What's your favorite picnic food?
very cold butterscotch pudding cake
Do you have any seasonal allergies for summer?
I have seasonal allergies for all seasons. Lucky me!
Any changes you're planning to make this season?
I'm planning to continue being tormented by my physical therapist until my posture is better (I don't expect perfection) and I've lost some weight. I plan to buy some new Levis and a couple of pairs of sunglasses. I plan to take a few days off and do utterly nothing.
Is summer officially over when school starts?
summer is officially over when autumn starts
If you have a pool, did you use it yet?
no pool
Did you have a spring fling? Is it over now?
yeah, I guess I did sort of have a spring fling. Late winter, early spring. "Over" is relative. It ought to be, it sort of is, it could be....
Do you bake a lot less in the summer since it's hot out?
definitely
If so, what do you normally continue to bake?
dinner
Ever had baked pumpkin seeds? Do you like them?
yes; only if they're super salty. I'm not a big seed fan.
Don't you hate dealing with weeds?
I don't deal with weeds much. "The Association" does that for me.
Do the trees look prettier when they're all different colors or when they all green?
different; I grew up in the north, after all, so that's what's normal for me
Is summer your favorite season?
no, but it's in a tie for second
What have the temperatures been like by you lately?
hotter than Hell. Literally.

***

Are you in a football club?
no
Do you watch movies from the 1930's?
I have. There are several others on My List (from World Traveler Girl).
Have you ever been to Singapore?
not lately
Does astronomy interest you?
not terribly much
Which part of American History do you enjoy learning about most?
the Gilded Age, or the Vietnam era
Do you have a garden?
only houseplants
Can you speak any Dutch?
no, but one of my favorite people is Dutch. Does that count?
Would you ever move to Germany?
no, but I would definitely visit
Are you a baseball fan?
yep
What college do you attend/want to attend?
I would prefer to avoid that situation, at least in the undergraduate sense
What's the most obscure artist you listen to?
good question. I guess it depends on your definition of "obscure". I still love the Housemartins and Beautiful South. There are some amazing Canadian artists out there that no one down here seems to know - Dala Girls and 54-40 among my favorites. I also like Elbow & Idlewild from across the pond. And Cary Brothers, and....
Have you ever painted a landscape?
no; I try to keep my paint to myself
Have you climbed a mountain before?
never. The heights thing, remember?
Do you think snails are cute, or disgusting?
disgusting, but "live & let live", y'know?
Is your name common?
yep. It was #2 in the US the year I was born. *yawn*
Republican, Democrat, or third-party?
indeed
Do you enjoy NASCAR?
it has its moments
Have you ever been on a subway?
yes
How do you feel about guns?
I like the big 'uns
Do you speak multiple languages?
bits and pieces, here and there
What's the biggest thing you've built out of paper?
my Masters thesis

[from here, from here; the title quotation - about baseball - is by A. Bartlett Giamatti, and in its entirety reads: "It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone."]