1 Can love exist without respect?
of course, it can. Do you "respect" your favorite movie, book, or music? Do you need to develop mutual "respect" with an animal before they become your beloved pet? Anyway, concepts like love or respect are too nebulous to pin down to the sort of absolutes that this question implies.
2 What does unconditional love mean to you?
I think it's a journey, not a destination exactly. Unconditional love is a great idea that's almost impossible to live out. For example, romantic relationships are not one steady state, but rather can be made up of lots of different seasons: bliss, disgruntlement, close partnership, distance, sexual attraction, physical boredom, connection, confusion, and on and on. Some of that stuff is understandable but still annoying, frustrating, scary, disillusioning, threatening, or just bad. When someone is behaving badly (etc.), does that mean that they remain lovable? When someone chooses to be bad, does that mean they "deserve" to be loved? Is unconditional love a synonym for willful blindness?
Ditto the situation with children. When a child chooses violence and exercises that choice without compunction, do they "deserve" unconditional love? At what point does that look less like love and more like enabling?
I am certain that I have been loved throughout my life. There are periods when I was unworthy of that affection and care. I'm glad it was there, and grateful for it, but also wonder if I might have been better off needing to navigate some waters alone.
3 How do you handle communication during difficult times?
that depends on the difficulty. If it's a communication problem to begin with, then more talk is sometimes going to make it worse. A tactical withdrawal to think coolly and reevaluate can be just the thing. Other times, though, an immediate working-out of an issue resolves it best, and doesn't allow it to grow and take on a life of its own.
4 How do you balance love and career demands?
this made me laugh, and my first reaction is "I don't." My career is intentionally low-key and demanding only in its tasks, not in 'ladder' or 'arch' terms. As for the rest of it ...
“Love is okay, but brings its own troubles. Me, I’m glad to be in the
pasture now, not lookin’ for adventure.” [Ann Wadsworth, in Light, Coming Back]
5 How do you keep a relationship exciting and fresh?
I suppose this is the great unanswerable question, when one is not in a relationship. I've got theories, but they clearly don't work for me.
6 What qualities do you find most attractive in a partner?
Must be thoughtful—both in terms of consideration, and also the ability to shut up and think now and then
A sense of humor that can be a little quirky and isn't solely based on insults, or disgusting
Awareness of and appreciation for my unique attributes
More extroversion than I can manage, but not so much that our differences are a drain
Happily carnivorous, since reluctance or refusal to eat meat would be a severe trial. I'm not an all-meat-all-the-time cave person, but I exhibit a certain relish for it that might be off-putting to a confirmed vegetarian.
Consideration
Generosity of spirit; capable of giving without getting paid back for it
Loyalty
Attentiveness. Put down your phone and be there.
7 How do you nurture growth in your relationship?
Seek out ways to change yourself. Take a class, learn a skill, jump into a hobby. Learn more about something that's intriguing. Accept opportunities to try new things. Try to remember that when you met, you were interesting strangers to each other. Interested people are interesting.
[from here; the title quotation is from Light, Coming Back]
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