absence unfathomable becomes something I can carry

'Dead Reckoning' 

 

to estimate one’s position 

without instruments 

or celestial observations 

 

calculating direction and distance 

traveled from the last known fix 

while accounting for tides, currents, grief 

 

drift     numbness 

sudden storms of pain 

unexpected joy 

 

to reckon is to believe 

something true 

to reckon with the dead 

 

is to believe I can know them 

an airy thinness 

gleaming 

 

despite 

the distance 

traveled 

 

I’d like to know how far 

I’ve gone 

how much farther there is 

 

to go         how absence 

unfathomable 

becomes 

 

something I can carry 

 

[Hyejung Kook, 'Dead Reckoning']