Jake explains why Heidi Klum walking the Victoria's Secret runway can't compare to you, reading a book.
True gorgeousness--as opposed to prettiness, sexiness, cuteness--is a quicksilver substance. It strikes only when some true, hidden part of a woman is revealed (and no, I don't mean her breasts). This is why a $16 million-a-flick actress, perfect and decked out in a barely there gown, may be glamorous, but she isn't gorgeous. You just can't plan gorgeousness. So when does it happen, you want to know? What's really gorgeous? Well, I'll tell you: It's...
- you, just after a shower, naked and carefully applying lotion to more parts than you see in a Lever 2000 ad. It's thrilling to watch you revel in that skin of yours.
- you on a business lunch in knee-high boots and a body-hugging suit. It's clear from the body language that you're the complete intellectual equal--make that superior--to your older male colleague. Hot.
- you on the couch, legs tucked underneath you, absorbed in a book. A cozy picture, but it's the way you absentmindedly chew a strand of hair that kills us.
- when you walk in wearing that camisole top with that sparkly stuff on your cheeks. Our thought bubble reads, "ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou...."
- the way you devour a giant hamburger, a little juice running down your chin. Your appetite--with all that implies--is on full display. And the meat part's important; a Sara Lee Pound Cake just isn't as gorgeous.
- you, getting ready to go out. Wearing a skirt but only a bra on top, putting on makeup and totally unaware of the fact that we're turning on Friday Night SmackDown! to keep ourselves from touching you.
- after we've known you for a while and see a picture of you from when you were eight years old--suddenly, we see your face in a new and heartbreaking way.
- your feet in flip-flops, that tiny thong emerging from between your toes. It's slightly suggestive without being intentionally so.
- you, with a bottle of beer, the glass light in your fingertips. We love to watch the cold brew passing between your parted lips into the darkness of your mouth. I won't go into why that's gorgeous.
- when you sing the Beatles song "Blackbird" while driving. Other songs are fine too. But for me it's "Blackbird"--simple, melancholy, sweet.
- you, playing with your niece, holding her easily on your hip in a way that makes us imagine you as a mother. Of course this at once gives us a rush and scares the s--t out of us.
- your minor wardrobe malfunctions: a twisted bra strap, inside-out underwear (if we are lucky enough to see it). You might be the most beautiful woman in the room but you're also human.
- when you converse with your mother as if she's a friend. There's something about a woman no longer being a child and still loving her mom.
- when you are a complete stranger and we watch you emerge from a taxi--first your high-heeled boot, then your long, blue-jeaned leg, then the rest of you. We love the suspense of waiting to see if each part of you will be more beautiful than the last.
- you, in tight jogging pants, still sweating from exercise. I can practically feel the heat of your body as you fold in half toward your shoe, stretching...OK, that's enough. I need to stop now. Bye.
[Jake is a real guy, living single and writing in New York City.]
What do you think? What is your favorite? Do you have anything to add?
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