what if you got all your whys answered? Would you be satisfied then?

1. Have you ever had a work-related dream or nightmare? 

    all. the. time. That's how my work stress keeps itself at a minimum--by playing out in my dreams. Some of the recent ones:

    * getting in trouble with a temporary supervisor for engaging in Teams chats outside those he created, and being screamed at (in chat form) by him that my regular boss (Lord Farquaad) and I are "bad communicators"

    * attending a conference which seemed to involve nothing except my three regular coworkers (Blackbeard the pirate, Lord F., and the gentle monkey) and me getting together in a vast conference room filled with round tables, but each of us just sitting on the floor in our own corner of the room, doing our own thing. We'd each brought one of our hobbies along, and were just quietly playing by ourselves. Each evening, we'd get together at the hotel's nice restaurant for a few drinks and a fun meal. The next day, we'd do it all over again. 

    * just working in my dream, knowing that I'm not supposed to be working outside of work hours or over my state cap of hours but doing it anyway, even sometimes knowing I'm sleeping but not being able to stop. It's not a nightmare, but it's also not the most relaxing sleep. 

 

4. What is something that you find completely adorable? 

Mr. Matt McCarthy

    Mr. Matt McCarthy's surreal cat art. I recently acquired one of his micro cat prints, and I'm in love. I've followed him on IG for ages. He seems like the kind of person I'd like to know in real life. His art is surprising, sometimes funny, and often soothing in a way that is hard to describe and wonderful to feel. 

 

3. If you could change one thing about your workplace, what would it be? 

    the need to work with certain people. Every job has its social incompatibilities, and the funky communication needs and patterns of remote work seems to make it even harder to get along sometimes. 

 

5. What is the craziest thing you have ever done to attract someone’s attention? 

    at the time I suppose it didn't seem crazy.... 

    I left a party in the dead of winter during a snowstorm wearing a shirt and jeans under a normal coat, but in only my infamous Eastland boat shoes and no socks. I followed a guy who was both attractive and infuriating from the party to his house, arguing and kicking snow at him. 

    He's still infuriating (and attractive) but in the intervening years we've learned to channel all that into what is prehaps one of the finest friendships ever to develop.  

 

6. Which family event would you love to relive? 

    my wedding. I'd love to be able to go back to that day and actually enjoy it all—but from the outside looking in rather than as the focus of attention. It's the last time I would see some of those people, and I'd do it in an instant if I could.

 

7. Which of your current (or most recent) significant other's friends do you find most attractive? 

     a big, blond, pink-cheeked farmer. He's very handsome, kind, and interested in me as a person. If things had been different, he and I might have made a pretty good couple.

 

8. Who in your office would survive a zombie apocalypse and why? 

     Blackbeard, for sure. He's not a "prepper" or a weapons nut, but he's more ready than most people for whatever might come busting through the door. If I were choosing sides, he would definitely be my first pick for anything hand-to-hand or survivalist. 

 

[from here, divided and adapted; the title quotation is from Jayant Chopra]

there must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them

1. In a movie of your life, what soundtrack would convey the mood of today's events? 

    something soporific. I'm doing the most ungodly boring make-work, periodically escaping to blog and keep my head on straight.

 

2. What was the last molehill that you made into a mountain? 

    I work with a bully. Last week, he pushed the wrong button and I snapped. It was not entirely a response to the direct provocation but more of a general You Need to Fucking Stop It resetting of boundaries. His response, though not unexpected, was precisely as annoying as always. Now that it's out of my system, though, and he's had a few days to absorb it, our interactions have been slightly more collegial. 

3. What would you like your spirit animal to be? 

    wolverine. "The wolverine is noted for its strength, cunning, fearlessness, and voracity, and the species is renowned for its ability to face down and fight larger predators that are more than twice its size." That seems like a good vibe to channel (sometimes).

 

4. If you had to answer questions on your specialist subject, what would the subject be? 

    European neutrality in World War II, highly advanced alphabetizing, poetry about grief and sadness, or estate planning and settlement.

 

5. Have you ever been disappointed by a hotel room that looked nothing like the brochure? 

    yep. It was small, over-warm, awkwardly laid out, and noisy. Its ideal location and the steak in the hotel restaurant made it totally worthwhile anyway.  

 

6. What would you do if you saw a colleague steal something from your workplace? 

    under the current circumstances, that act would be at least a firing offense (regardless of what was stolen) and could be a felony. For me to do anything except report it would also be a firing offense and could be a felony, even more egregious than the act itself. 

    Every other job I've worked, though, has involved some of that. "Broken" cookies shouldn't just be thrown out, right? Walking out with a pen behind your ear, making a few copies on the company copier, a cheese curd off the plate before it goes to the table... none of that seems like a huge deal. We all know, though, that it adds up, and it has even more of an effect in attitude than it does in the direct cost. I think I mentioned it once or maybe twice. I never saw anything that really poked my conscience, though.  

 

7. When was the last time you shared a bath with someone? 

    four years, give or take. One of the all time great moments in history.

 

[from 3000 Unique Questions about Me; the title quotation is by Sylvia Plath, from The Bell Jar]

Jeeves, of course, is a gentleman’s gentlemen, not a butler, but if the call comes, he can buttle with the best of them

1 If you had to have one job that you have had previously, which one would you want again? 

    if it were possible to go back to 'the way it used to be', I would love to be the lead cataloger at the public library where I worked from the end of law school until I moved up nort'. I loved the challenge of locating an item in its proper place. Prioritizing in a sometimes overwhelming environment is one of my strengths. I like to work on my own, without requiring a lot of direct supervision. Cataloging appeals to my sense of order, self-discipline, and creativity. (Those who've survived the battle between 800s and FIC, or 300s v. 600s might appreciate that latter point.) Most basically, though, I loved being surrounded by books, and the people who are drawn to them. 

 

2 If you could look through anyone's personnel file at work, whose would you pick? 

    the nature of my current role makes this question hilariously inappropriate. I would like to keep getting to know Blackbeard and Lord Farquaad, but not to the detriment of my continued employment. I'll wait for them to share what they want me to know. 

 

3 If you could train a pet bird to do one thing for you and always return home again, what would it do?

    oooh, I would love a messenger pigeon who could run to the Kwik-E-Mart for milk, bread, bananas and/or eggs. It would need to be an extremely strong pigeon with good interpersonal skills.

 

4 If you could have had one person in your life be more candid than they were (or are), who would it be?

    my former spouse, H. Although compared to me he seemed a gregarious extrovert with chatterbox tendencies, at his base he's pretty quiet, and also prone to withholding comment when sharing might risk conflict. That combo meant that our conversations were sometimes more polite or superficial than they were constructive or even meaningful. We'd both have benefited if either of us had been more candid.

 

5 If you could completely remove someone's vocal cords for a year, whose would they be? 

    hmm. How to say this without risk of being deported? 

    And why for just a year?! 

 

6 If you could ensure something about Heaven besides its existence, what would it be? 

    • a generalized mute button

    • hot & cold tea on tap 

    • quiet space to be still

    • loved ones close by, especially kitties I have love and lost too soon

    • lots of soft green grass for running barefoot (with no allergic reaction)

    • for that matter—no more headaches 

    • an actual monkey butler 

 

7 If you had to name the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally, what would it be? 

     I've been a bad friend to some people who were good friends to me. Regardless of the reason or circumstances around it, that was a terrible thing to do. My regret can't change anything, but does result in trying to do better.

 

 [from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is by P.G. Wodehouse, from Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves]

if you tremble with indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine

1 How particular are you about the maintenance of your car? 

    I vehemently loathe everything about car maintenance. For a while, when I was newly single, took some pride in taking care of it all on my own and on time if not early. I would spend Saturday mornings getting an oil change, taking it to the car wash, and even vacuuming the interior. Now I can barely be bothered to pay attention when it squawks for new oil or to chisel the bugs off the windshield.  

 

2 What's your strongest sense? 

        indignation 

 

3 How many different conversations can you adequately carry on at the same time? 

    that depends on your definition of "adequately." Most workdays I'm actively involved in at least three different Teams chats, one of which is almost entirely personal. I have text threads going with several family and friends, including the work person referenced above. I communicate by FB Messenger with two friends almost daily and a handful of others quite regularly. 

    And only once, that I can remember, have I sent a message to the wrong recipient. I guess that means I can handle it fine.

 

4 Do you ever double- or triple-check things? 

     sure, in lots of situations—that I've set my alarm, before going to sleep; that there's no traffic coming before moving out of an obscured spot when walking or driving; that an eBay package is properly addressed; and that it's the correct day to take my migraine shot

5 Do you read or study best in silence or in a place with background noise? 

    oh, blessed silence! How I love thee.

    Despite some evidence to the contrary (see, e.g., my answer to #3, above), my brain works best when allowed to focus.

 

6 What's one thing you would rather pay someone to do than do yourself? 

    heck yeah. Painting walls; anything relating to plumbing or electricity; auto maintenance; grocery shopping and delivery; or washing and detailing cars. I'd love to add cooking, cleaning (especially windows and floors ... and bathrooms), laundry, and general errands, but one needs must be realistic. 

 

7 What one word sums up your high school experience? 

    fun.  

    I'm not saying "those were the best years of my life," just that I liked more than I disliked about school, the people I was with, and the way it all turned out. 

 

[from The Complete Book of Questions : 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion; the title quotation is from Ernesto 'Che' Guevara]

History will be kind to me—for I intend to write it

1 Has a chance encounter ever changed the course of your life? What was it? 

    while wandering the administration building on campus during law school, I ran into someone I'd known at the library when I'd been working a temporary job. She asked if I was planning to apply for the job that was open in the department I'd liked the best—technical services—when the manager left. I hadn't known it was open, and said I'd think about it. I applied the next day, got an interview later in the week, and was hired during the interview. I stayed in that role, through its expansion, for the next decade and a half. 

    I don't know if I ever had a chance to thank her for that question, or to let her know that it really did change my life. 

 

2 If a year of your life could be traded for $25,000, how many years would you trade in?  

    a past year, or a generic future year? I would trade 2004, 2007, 2015, and 2022 for a nickel, in a heartbeat.  

 

3 Do you believe that no one is indispensable in the workplace? 

    that is correct. What happens if you get hit by a bus? You get replaced. What happens if you get fired, downsized, move to a new town, win the lottery? You get replaced. It is possible to be valued, but 'indispensable' implies that the [work] world ends when you leave. Unless you're the only employee, that's not gonna happen.

 

4 Do you ever drink iced coffee or tea in the winter? 

    I drink iced tea at least every Saturday morning, throughout the year. And if I'm getting coffee it's going to be a "coffee drink" and thus served cold.

 

5 What smells do you find relaxing? 

    in small quantity, I like lemon, mint, or vanilla. Too much of even a good thing is a bad thing, though—pretty often, my migraine headaches arise from nothing so much as they do from a strong scent.

 

6 Have you toasted marshmallows on an open fire?

    I'm not an "open fire" sort of person, but I do have a couple of marshmallow tidbits:

    • my boss at the educational company made s'mores for a group of us while on a weekend at a cabin ... only he'd never made s'mores before, and was very much A City Kid. He understood them in principle but not in practice. He went outside with the proper ingredients, but came inside with what can only be described as grilled s'mores. As in, he'd assembled them like grilled cheese sandwiches, and then placed them on the grill. The graham crackers had grill marks (delicately turned mid-way so they were "done" on both sides). I laughed through tears at his adorableness, and am doing the same as I write this.

    • my mom is a big marshmallow fan, which is pretty weird because she's not one for sweet things generally. As the youngest child in my family, I enjoyed a "different family" than my siblings had, with a sort of focused attention that was both gratifying and highly annoying at times. One of those gratifying moments came when I walked into our kitchen to see my mom roasting a marshmallow on the (electric) stove. She'd speared it with a regular dinner fork and was gently rotating it above the burner. A quick, slightly guilty glance was followed by a big laugh and the two of us, forks in hand, giggling over our toasted marshmallow treat. That experience was never repeated but remains a funny, happy memory.

 

7 In what general knowledge quiz category is your knowledge generally not that great? 

    history 

 

[from 3000 Unique Questions about Me; the title quotation is Winston S. Churchill]

learn something; that's the only thing that never fails

1 If you could erase one past experience, what would it be? 

    working at the law firm. I didn't really know the person for whom I was working. That wouldn't typically be an issue, since most work is more than just the boss, y'know? But that particular setup made it impossible. I was working from home, he varied between offices in two states (30 miles apart), the other person at my level working from the other office, and the manager working from my local office. I was driving in to pick up supplies and work a few times a week. It was a full-time job with 40 hours' stated expectation, but exceeded almost the entire time I was there. There was never a clear-cut plan for communication, so it varied between the boss coming to my home to give me work, to me needing to contact him for instructions or even tasks, and usually falling somewhere in the middle and involving a combination of text messages, phone calls, emails, and command performances at the office. 

    It was a boring, depressing, uncomfortable job, working with two people I disliked (and one who left within a month of my arrival, escaping to greener pastures), often being expressly told that I was getting the shitty tasks and the annoying clients. And I was expected to use my personal phone for work, so those irritating clients had my number and didn't hesitate to use it. 

    I left the job in June, 2022. The funny thing? Clients STILL call me, hoping to get service that they can't get from the firm. Seriously, how dumb do you have to be, to think it's normal to hound your lawyer's employees to help you three years later?! (If I liked them at all, I will answer and redirect them. If they were really annoying, I just block their number.)

    As ought to be clear by now, if I could burn that entire experience down into a chunk of carbon and throw it into a volcano, I would be happy indeed.

 

2 What are some new things you want to try? 

    • a colleague told me this week about his favorite Chinese hot pot restaurant, and it sounded like a fun experience unlike anything I've experienced. Alas, San Francisco is not on my itinerary anytime soon.

    • I'm thinking of moving from Apple Music to Amazon Music. Not a huge change given how small a part of my life it is, but a big deal in terms of philosophy.

    • rather than buying packets of taco seasoning, I'm going to make my own 

    • I've enrolled in (yet another) health program through my insurance plan. Pro: it's not drug-based, there are no in-person appointments, and it came with a free scale. Con: the scale is "smart" (so every time I weigh in, the data is transmitted not only to my "health coach" but also 

to Amazon, to which it is intricately connected; the aforementioned coach is just one part of the intensely interactive program that has resulted in dozens of notifications each day since I signed up—and the actual program only began today!; and, when push comes to shove, there's really nothing new under the sun. Will this program work, or is it another temporary balm to a forever wound?

    •  a friend clued me in on an alternative to New Year's resolutions, which is a BINGO card for the year. Ideally equal parts fun and work, it is a way to identify goals and dreams, plans and wishes, that doesn't feel like a homework assignment or an unrealistic fantasy. Each box is its own reward, and crossing out a row or column can mean either a heightened sense of accomplishment or a treat, earned. I did create a card like the one pictured here but since it's a work in progress, I'm not sharing it yet.

 

3 What was your first job, and what did you learn from it? 

    bakery clerk in a grocery store. I learned so much! How to show up on time to a job, even when working at 4:AM. The intricacies of proofing, baking, and frying donuts. Working with difficult people, ver. 1.0. Balance dressing for a job that makes you smell like a piece of fried chicken while at the same time trying to look adorable around the 100 high school and college guys also on staff. How to mop a floor. Cake decorating. Flexibility (show up expecting to lay out product for the next day's baking shift and instead decorate a dozen cakes and fry chicken for the hot case). How to sober up quickly when arriving at work too close to the end of the previous night out. (A can of Coke and a couple of strictly-fresh sour cream donuts did a marvelous job, for what that's worth.)

 

4 What’s a song that always makes you think of someone?      

    Tonic, "Irish"—the only song that makes me think of Chris that also makes me smile with no lump in the throat 

I won't die for England!
Not for England...

 

5 What’s the funniest cooking disaster someone in your family had? 

    we'd borrowed an ice cream maker—the old style, with a hand crank—from my aunt and uncle, when I was around 5, I think? It was a big deal because we weren't really the make-it-yourself-treats type of family. We poured in the (relatively expensive) ingredients and took turns cranking. I don't recall how long it took, but there was some waiting before we were able to pull it out and try some. Whomever had poured in the vanilla extract had mistakenly grabbed the maple flavoring, so we ended up with a gallon+ of maple ice cream. None of us disliked maple, but had anticipated homemade vanilla with various toppings, like strawberries or chocolate syrup. 

 

6 What’s the most surprising thing that really interests you? 

    I'm considering learning to read (and incidentally to speak) German. Portuguese or Italian, or even French, might make more sense, given my grounding in Spanish, but a lot of audiobooks that I've been into lately have been read by German narrators. Understanding the language might make it easier and more interesting to dig further into some of my favorite subjects.

 

7 What’s your go-to song for commuting? 

    the best thing about music is the infinite variety. And one of the best things about my car is its CD player (remember those?), which allows me to listen to my old playlists (including those gifted by my former physical therapist, and Adelheide, and Chris) on endless rotation. 

    Also, I have not had a commute for more than four years!

 

8 Have you ever lied about liking a family member’s cooking? 

    not an immediate family member, for sure. None of them has ever cooked anything for me that hasn't lived up to billing.

    I have a friend who cooks for me often, and I sometimes have to be diplomatic when giving reviews. They don't cook to my taste now and then, but the friendship is far more important than my comfort and specifications in any one meal. I won't eat what I actively dislike, but there are times when I take a deep breath before and a big drink of water after certain foods cooked certain ways.  

 

[from here, divided and adapted; the title quotation is by T.H. White, from The Once and Future King]

I'd like to get back to the beach.

1. What have you been putting off doing that you should be doing now? 

    I'm waiting for work, which is far and away the most annoying thing about my current career. We are at the mercy of an annoying hierarchy of people making decisions, and sometimes those decisions are very badly coordinated. I am (contractually) committed to being available for work during work hours, but there is no correlated commitment to either provide work or to pay for the down-time. It is frustrating, but does not happen often and is sort of understandable. 

    So there's nothing that I could be doing besides waiting, and so writing is completely reasonable under the circumstances. 

2. What's your favorite golden oldie song from any decade before you were born? 

    "Nevertheless" by the Mills Brothers. (Might as well choose a song from far before I was born!)

3. What five words or phrases in the English language would you like to lock in a box before throwing away the key? 

    a. "Loop" (because derivations of this word have choked the life out of business communications, e.g. loop in, close the loop, loop back)

    b. "Honestly..." (because if you have to point out when you're being honest, I don't ever want to hear anything that you say)

    c. "It is what it is" (because it is useless babble)

    d. "Laser focused" (because excessively exaggerated hyperbole is always and forever preferable to simple accuracy)

    e. "Don't take this the wrong way..." (because it's all but guaranteed that what follows will be thoroughly and intentionally offensive—and that any reaction that one could possibly give is mined with explosives and disaster)

4. "It's not what you know, it's who you know." Is that true? 

     that probably is true for people of a certain socioeconomic class, for those who live in certain geographic areas, and for some who work in particular fields. If you're rich, trying to succeed in the world of the rich-er, it's probably impossible to succeed without help from someone who can pull you up. If you live in a very big city, where the competition for absolutely everything is a little more fierce (or where the options are so vast that getting lost in the details is so likely), it's probably a big boost to have someone else's sponsorship, so to speak. And if one is an actor, singer, songwriter, visual artist, and so forth, then knowing someone who knows those who can buy what you're selling is imperative.

    For the rest of us, it's far less useful, and far less likely anyway. Nobody I know is capable or inspired to do that sort of intentional 'mentoring.'

5. What are the most northerly and southerly points you've visited on a world map? 

    E.C., in the cheese state, and Miami, Florida—if my estimations are correct

6. How many scout knots can you tie?

    I used to know a guy who was a sailor, the "weekend on a fancy vessel with actual sails" sort of sailor and not a "works on a ship to make money" kind of guy. He's also kind of an obnoxious, pretentious ass. He is convinced (or pretends to be) that everyone needs to know how to tie knots in order to survive everyday life. He taught me to tie a complex knot by giving verbal directions, and I succeeded...and then promptly forgot.

    So, in answer to this question, I could tie one knot, at one time, but no longer. And it has nothing to do with scouts.

7. Which character from show you watched as a kid brings back the happiest memories, and why? 

    Dr. Sidney Freedman, from M*A*S*H. Funny, thoughtful, smart, and the window through which other characters were seen in a different way.

 

[from 3000 Unique Questions about Me; the title quotation is by 'Sidney Freedman', from M*A*S*H]

you are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank

• In what work situations are you tempted to lie? 

     it's safe to say I'm not giving 100% attention to webinars of any kind, ever

• Who are your company's stars, and how was their status determined?

     my last in-office work was at a regional bank. The company has a couple dozen locations and employs 500 people or so. Beyond the bureaucratic hierarchy of team-leads, supervisors, officers, directors, chairs, managers and chiefs, there is a very apparent in-group/out-group mentality. The in group is obviously those who have been around for a while and proven themselves, but it's also people who are hired with the (HR) intention of being "lifers." I honestly can't explain what that means, really, because I was so clearly NOT in that category. What I do know: if a "lifer" finds another job, they would be heavily recruited to stay, to the tune of massive raises and accommodations ... which only perpetuates the us vs. them mentality. I know I'm contrarian, but that shit gets under my skin so badly; I wouldn't want it even if they'd offered it.

• How much guidance or assistance have you found to be available to individuals when developing career goals? 

     this is an interesting (in all the derivations of that word) topic. My last in-office job was with a company that shouts to the rooftops its obsessive dedication to improving their employees, in the guise of competitive "leadership classes" and so forth. I think that's a hilarious, unworkable conundrum that no one in a position of power has ever thoughtfully
considered. Making people fight over the opportunity to improve themselves... seems like there's something big missing in that scenario. It's not essentially supportive or encouraging, which I consider to be basic elements of leadership. 

    Employers are not in business to develop the careers of employees. They are in business to make as much money as possible while spending as little as possible. There is no loyalty on their side. Looking for altruism or beneficence there is a wasted effort.

• How often do you prefer to meet with a supervisor to go over work progress? 

     rarely. Unless it's organic, an ongoing conversation, it's going to be stilted, uncomfortable, and sometimes counter-productive. Insistence on following hard and fast HR rules has screwed up natural interactions between coworkers, and from supervisors to employees. 

• What are the traits and skills of people who are the most successful within an organization for which you've worked?    

    library work attracts the introverted, but everybody knows that introverts are at a natural disadvantage in the extroverted work world. Employers are looking for a combination rare as hens' teeth: quiet, polite, insightful, heavy library users - who also happen to be approachable, friendly, capable of using a wide variety of technology, eager to teach classes or run workshops or facilitate Reading to the Dog story hours, interested in community outreach (read: participate in local festivals and parades, serve on local boards of directors, and basically represent the library in any way at all times of day) - and all at a sadly low rate of pay. It's a neat balance, hard to achieve, and hard to live with over time.

• In what ways has the work experience surprised or disappointed you?

    I have consistently been surprised and disappointed that employers don't want to hear about a problem before it happens, even when a solution is offered. Across the board, they want to hear HAPPY things that make them feel powerful and successful. Isn't it strange, though, that they don't want to prevent things that will make them look weak, foolish, and ineffective? 

    Although intelligent, I can be blind to other peoples' tolerance for my brand of expression. That alone shot the Hell out of my interactions with my [last] boss at the finance company. He was - at least in my role - looking for a cheerleader, not a bloodhound. It's definitely a weakness that I can't see that before it happens and respond positively.

• Do you think it's important for a company to support and promote personal and professional growth?  I think it's a phenomenal benefit - and I have never encountered a company that actually followed through with what they claim that benefit will entail. They build in so many exclusions and limitations that it is, in the end, a hollow claim. 

    As with any professional license or certification, attorneys are required to continue education throughout their career. I was lucky for the first couple of decades, that my license was inactive. That allowed me to forego CLE (continuing legal education), which is both costly and time-consuming. However, when I moved back into the law (November, 2021), my CLE requirement began. At the time, the firm I was with would cover some of those costs. Now, though, I am responsible for all of it. Support from an employer, even a partial contribution, is a big help for keeping current in the field. 

• What are three big job/work/career issues that keep you up at night? 

    ° CLE

    ° balancing the desire for regular work with the wish to be involved in a variety of shorter projects, both to get experience in different areas and also because some of the short-term gigs are paid at a much higher rate

    ° thinking more about retirement, which looms in a decade or so, and how that will affect my finances

• How do you feel you've measured up to the requirements for the positions you've held?     I've been surprisingly under-qualified for most of the jobs I've been hired to do (notably the middle of the finance jobs, which was far more math and customer service than I am). After a fairly short time, though, I acquired the skills and experience to have earned each job if I'd had to reapply. The only position that really calls that into question is the last of the finance jobs, because my position had an ever-evolving job description that seemed designed to keep it just out of my grasp. I was set up to fail there. 

 

[from 301 Best Questions to ask on your Interview; the title quotation is by Chuck Palahniuk, from Fight Club]

you never know what could happen. One way to deal with that is to keep your pajamas washed

5. What haven’t you tried before? 

    I have not traveled, end-to-end, by myself. I've taken plenty of solo trips, but there was always a social goal in mind, such as meeting someone in a different place, attending an event with another person, or going to stay with a friend or family. It seemed like an indulgence that I could not financially afford, and seemed inconsistent with what I am often urged to do, to "be more social." There's loads of facts and feelings involved with this general issue. I am, though, thinking more about it, and would like to do it - sometime soon.

12. What's the nicest compliment you've gotten lately? 

     someone I care about told me (not in so many words, but unmistakably) that my skin is soft

19. What do beginners most need to know in your field?

      how to retain their humanity in the face of endless opportunities to destroy it

26. Tell the story of how you got started in your niche, industry, or career. How did you get to where you are? What events, decisions or efforts were the most pivotal? Why?

      My mom graduated from high school in a very small town. Her class was 12 people, and she was at the top of the honor roll. In the yearbook, she announced a dream of being a lawyer. Marriage and family took precedence, though, so that dream was never realized. 

    The summer I turned 26, life was up in the air. I was married, we were both "at a natural end" - he'd completed his Ph.D. and I was through the classroom part of grad school. We didn't want to stay where we were, but didn't have an exact goal for where to live. He applied for a bunch of jobs, and I followed along and applied for schools near those jobs. Alas, he didn't get any offers, but I did; I was accepted at every school of the nine to which I'd applied. As our deadline for moving loomed closer, we needed to make a choice. Essentially flipping a coin for our future, we agreed that we should move to D-town and I should go to law school. 

    As it turned out, it was a fortuitous choice. He was eventually hired to fill the position for which he'd applied at that same university. We had family in the area. We rented a house that suited us well. It was less expensive, and far more comfortable than the place we'd lived for the previous four years. And it was less than half the distance from our parents' (and lots of good friends') 

places, which was the basis for our desire to move in the first place.

    So, in sum, what got me started in law was almost overwhelming homesickness combined with spontaneity and a whole lot of luck.

5. What are a couple of things you really like about the company you work for?

     they switched to weekly payroll, and because of my particular direct deposit arrangement I am paid 3 days after the period ends.

    They are really, really flexible about time off. There are standards for working full-time, of course, but within those expectations the actual hours worked are almost unlimited.

    And one of the people I've worked with thinks I'm really, really good at my job, to the point that he's regularly tried to poach me away from the current gig and onto one of his.

33. What scares you the most, and why? Where does it come from, and how do you handle it? 

     besides the ones I've already written about 400 times... storms. I grew up in a small neighborhood on a "ridge" in local parlance, which is not precisely a ridge but a relatively flat area that descends at various angles. Think of it like a tabletop that's surrounded by some valleys. Our house on that ridge had no basement. That means, during thunderstorms, the sky seems pretty close, and the wind seems extra strong. For as long as I can remember, wind especially has freaked me out.

40. What don’t people know about you? Share a secret! 

    pretty sure my pronunciation of the word "pajamas" is not typical (kind a like "pecan"...). I call them puh-JAM-uhs, not puh-JAH-mus". All this is a quick explanation of why I generally refer to them as PJs. 

on my favorites shelf!

47. Who is your favorite fictional character, and why? How are you alike?    
    Charlotte Holmes, from Sherry Thomas' The Lady Sherlock series. Intense, awkward, brilliant, highly sexual, and fond of cake, Charlotte is an intellectual dervish with few friends, but those she has, she loves fiercely. The stories—there are seven in print, and The Ruse of Shadows to be released June 25, 2024—are fresh and innovative while hearkening back to the Conan Doyle classics.

    How am I like Charlotte Holmes? I'm less logical, but do like a puzzle. Intense, a few close friends, and fond of cake - those all sound like me.

54. What do a lot of people believe that’s actually not true? 

     that other people always want to hear the minute details of one's hobbies.  

10. Do you and your coworkers typically eat lunch together, or does your team tend to eat by themselves or at their desks?

    my last in-office job is divided into three parts. I was hired at entry level in the mortgage department of a bank. My position was a dozen steps removed from front-line, located in a locked-room cube farm a couple blocks away from "headquarters." There were a dozen others in my sub-department. We worked 8:AM til 4:30 PM, with (at least) one half-hour's unpaid lunch. The cube farm, which is a former drugstore, included a little break-room where the medications had been stored. A little cupboard for paper plates and party supplies lined one corner. A very shitty old microwave was on one wall near a perpetually dirty sink, and a couple of cheap refrigerators stood side by side making terrible noises and emitting terrible odors. There were five round tables, with chairs for 8, crammed in with just enough room to stuff oneself between wall, chair, and table. Nearly everyone ate with the table jammed into their body in some way. 

    I was at that job for a little over 3 months. I ate with my closest coworkers, which meant there was constant togetherness for the entire workday. It was overwhelming to never have a break.

    For the next 2 years, I had a different role, this time with commercial loans. There was no change of venue; my new cubicle was one row south of my first one. It was an upgrade, though, and not just in money, since my first job had put me in a shared cube. I was working in a 3-person "pod" (good God do I hate that word) within a group within a section within an area within a part within a department of the organization, with accompanying levels of bureaucracy, indecision, and "management." Each of us was good at a different aspect of the job, so we functioned so smoothly. I became close with the other two, and we took our lunches together - deliberately at a time when the break room was less busy - every day. 

    Finally, I was promoted to a professional position, this time at the main location. I had an office, with a (big, heavy, slammable) door that locks, with an entire wall of (exterior) windows. It was marvelous. Though, on the first floor, having a wall of windows is a commitment to good behavior. There's no getting away with anything in that spot, since anyone can walk or drive by at any time. There was also a floor-to-ceiling window next to that door, so my colleagues could see in, too. It was a bit like being in a museum, or maybe a zoo. 

    We were encouraged to share our meals with coworkers from around the company, in either of two lunch rooms - one very large and light, up on the third floor where the muckity-mucks abound, and the other tucked beneath the stairs in the rabbit warren of a basement, with random stalactites of plumbing or ventilation appearing out of nowhere, at heights (or depths?) so low that even I could bang my head if not being careful. However, I was annoyed at being around people when it could be avoided, and relied on lunch breaks to reset my required extroversion back to functional levels. Therefore, apart from a handful of times when I joined the festivities elsewhere, I ate lunch at my desk, and appreciated every moment of it.

[from What to blog about: 101 Irresistible blog ideas, supplemented with some from 301 Best Questions to ask on your Interview the title quotation is by Haruki Murakami, from 1Q84]

are you kidding? That guy was a mystery wrapped in an enigma and crudely stapled to a ticking fucking time bomb. He was either going to hit somebody or start a blog

7. What advice do you try to remember?

       First Runner Up is still not winning

14. Why did you start blogging? What is your blog’s purpose? What do you hope to gain from blogging?

     that last question made me snort aloud. What do I hope to gain? Clearly not money or comments. I started blogging because a couple of good friends were doing it, and I enjoyed their blogs (each had multiples), and for a while we were a clique: library catalogers who were also literate women with varied interests. My purpose, though, was to sort out my feelings and create a framework for life as a single person. I started blogging not quite a year before the end of my 12-year marriage.

21. Do you have a work routine that allows you to live a productive, happy, and balanced life?

      hadn't really thought of it that way, but yeah I do. I work 7:AM-3:PM most days, and then I'm free to do what I want, or at least what needs to be done.

    Now that the weather is fine, I'll be walking most afternoons Sunday through Wednesday, plus Friday. 

    I see family a couple times a week, typically Thursday and Saturday. I see a friend usually for one evening walk per week. Other friends by arrangement.

    I read 3-5 books per week. Watch, on average, 4 movies. Write 7 blog posts and draft a few more for revision. Wrap and ship 5 eBay items. Eat dinner at home 6 nights, including crock pot and other meals with intentional leftovers. Water and care for plants in 3 rooms. 

28. Write about the deadly sins and pitfalls to avoid. 

     in general, or ...? Taken literally, there are seven deadly sins: pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth. Obeying one's ego to the detriment of others; wanting more than one's fair share; holding one's own emotions as paramount over all others; putting desire ahead of sense; failing to recognize when enough's enough; and rejecting motivation and need in favor of relaxation and avoidance. Are those the only pitfalls? I think it's a difficult analysis, to determine how much self-interest is necessary and appropriate, and where that balances with proper degrees of consideration of others. Too much of the former is selfish; too much of the latter is obsessive, passive, and/or submissive.

    The worst of the sins may be focusing on sin and pitfalls, and not seeing people as they are: human, faulty, complicated, and individual.

5. Is there any reason why a company wouldn't want to hire you?

    work from home has become part of my inherent nature, and I would find it difficult (if not, frankly, impossible) to adapt back to in-person staffing. For work that can be done remotely, it makes a whole lot of sense to me that it should be done that way.

    - employers don't need to pay for things that on-site employees take for granted, such as parking lots, toilet paper, ADA-compliant staff areas, and maintenance. (See this article regarding the benefits of telecommuting to both workers and employers.)

    - fewer people working in a confined space results in lower transmission of communicable disease

    - flexibility makes people happier, which makes them more productive and better performing

    - carbon dioxide (CO₂) emissions fell by 5.4% in 2020 (see this article for more about the effect of the pandemic on the global atmosphere)

    - when I strongly believe in something, I tend to get bossy and start making lists of reasons that I'm right, which is probably off-putting

42. Do you have any personal, family, or business traditions that you stick to?

      regular meals, being available to each other by text, and spending most holidays together. Those holidays are casual and often involve a meal followed by unlimited grazing, sometimes jigsaw puzzles or board games, and usually a movie or a couple episodes of Perry Mason. 

49. Describe your perfect day. What would you do? Why would it be so wonderful? How can you create more days like this in your life?

      a perfect day (not "the") could involve a long walk, playing with a kitty, reading an engrossing book, lots of text messages, a good surprise, no pain, a fun movie, no responsibilities, and some long hugs

56. What amazing online tools can’t you live without?

     I use Blogger, eBay's seller hub, and a couple of different photo editing tools. Really, though, it's reasonably easy to adapt when something goes wonky or is no longer accessible.

57. Which are the most useful to you? What apps are underrated?

     Libby for audiobooks. Merlin Bird ID for... bird identification. NYT Games for the daily battle with my mom. 

10. What business committees and groups have you been expected to participate in?

     at the library, I was involved in (and served as chair of) a committee of catalogers in a consortium, where we made policy and developed procedure to support consistency and quality in our work. It was a valuable but often intensely frustrating process that resulted in a much easier to use catalog both from the patron side and the staff side—which made every committee member's job easier.  

 

 [from What to blog about: 101 Irresistible blog ideas with a couple of additions from 301 Best Questions to ask on your Interview the title quotation is by Lev Grossman, from The Magicians]