it’s dangerous being free, but most come to like the taste o’ it

  • Do you have a library card? If you do, do you use it often?
    that's a joke, right? I think I've got a card somewhere, which I've never actually used, but the account is active. Like, daily.
  • Do you like rom-coms? If you do, which one is your favourite?
    while I detest the term and would never employ it of my own volition, I have indeed been known to watch movies of that genre occasionally. My favorite today is Shakespeare in Love.
  • Think of your ex, and the person you love/like/are with now. Are they similar in any way at all?
    this question, as written, is almost meaningless when applied to my life, since one would never have a clue to whom I referred (in either case!) without some context. However, to be as sporting as possible, I'll play along.

    Thinking of the Village Idiot, and then considering the person I can't quite forget (though my dear friend bgm has been wise in his counsel to that effect)...they are similar in some superficial ways: dark hair, love for music, general body type, vague age-range. But they are dissimilar in most of the ways that matter, including the way that they think, they way that they behave, how they treat what and who they hold dear, how they drive, what they eat, and on and on.
  • If you could design your perfect partner, what would they look like? What kind of personality would they have?
    I wouldn't touch that. Perfect only exists in literature.
  • Is there something you currently want/need, that you can't have?
    lots of things come to mind. I'd love a new gig, a new pad, a new man (since the fella a couple of prompts above is anything but 'new'), some new socks, and a lengthy vacation.

    Most of all, right now, I'd love for
    Ned Rifle to be funded via Kickstarter, because the first two films in the trilogy mean a great deal to me, and I very much believe in Hal Hartley and the way he tells stories.
  • Think back to 6 weeks ago. Were you happier then, or are you happier now? Why?
    I was probably warmer then. "Happy," at this time of my life, is a macro thing.
  • Who is the first male you can think of, whose name begins with T? Tell me about him.
    there was this guy. We met in high school, maybe a little earlier. It seems like I've always known him, or whatever the equivalent is, since I can't remember a time when he wasn't in my world somehow. I had a good friend, someone I spent lots of time with outside of school, and he was her cousin. A bit younger than me, a little swarthy (though the description is apt, it makes me grin to write it) and exotic, he was a bundle of energy and fun--in contrast to me, as you might guess. We spent a lot of time together over the years, though our actual "dating" was confined to a month or two at most. He was not trustworthy, and I was not...generous. All that being said, I loved him, valued his friendship, missed him when I left, thought about him when I was gone, and regret some of what passed between us (and a tiny bit of what did not).

    The funny part of this is that his name doesn't really begin with T, though his nickname does.
  • Can you say "happy birthday" in another language?
    at least two other languages, though I wouldn't test myself too far beyond that
  • What is something a lot of people think about you, that isn’t actually true?
    that I'm infinitely patient.

    Or that the headaches are a dodge against being social. They really do happen.
  • Think of the last person that said they wanted to have sex with you. Did that person love you?
    no, and thank heaven for that. Or, if he did/does, it's a completely intellectual/friend-based sort of thing, not romantic at all, and wouldn't ruin the relationship that we have by trying to replace it with one that wouldn't work at all.
  • Someone suggests that the person you like is a player. What do you say?
    I suppose that would depend on the circumstances. If we're talking again about the one compared to the Idiot, above, then I would laugh heartily and forget about it. If it's the character in the prompt directly prior to this one, then I would tap my cheek consideringly, laugh, and forget about it. Since I'm not buying, only leasing, I guess I'm not too concerned about the terms of purchase.
  • What subjects do you/did you get the worst grades in?
    all the way through high school, I rocked in science classes and got mediocre grades in History and English. I think that's because it was easy, so I didn't even try (or gave up partway through). Once I hit college, it all reversed course. I couldn't pass a science class to save my own ass (oh, Conceptual Physics, how I hate you!), and every History class that I could find in the course catalog was the best thing ever. It was pointless, and it got me nowhere (relatively speaking), but I loved it and I wouldn't give it back.
  • Should you be concentrating on something else, instead of this survey?
    naturally. There are bills to pay, a checking account to reconcile, and letters to write.
  • Have you ever told anyone that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them? If you have, did you mean it?
    I have, and I did. You can't always get what you want.
  • Have you ever told someone that you liked them, and they rejected you? Do you know anyone else that this has happened to?
    to be true, this has happened twice in my life--and the first was an aberration because the recipient of my declaration later made amends for his poor reception of my heartfelt words. That leaves only the more recent event, which was a disaster and still literally haunts my dreams.
  • Is there anything you want to say to someone, but you can't/won't? What are your reasons for not saying it?
    there are lots of unsaid things just sitting in my head, for lots of reasons. I can't tell him [x] because his wife won't like it. I can't tell her [y] because I want to keep my job. I can't say [z] because it'll open up ten cans of worms best left sealed.
  • Who is someone in the music industry that you think is overrated?
    aren't they all? Really, when you think about it. They're singers, or musicians, and we're force-fed their personal lives and their godforsaken cookbooks and novels and clothing lines, and their pathetic attempts at acting, and "greatest hits" and "best of" compilations when they've only released a couple of albums. They're ALL overrated.
  • Who is the 11th contact in your phone? When did you last see/speak to that person?
    a friend of a friend, a guy from my hometown whose path I rarely crossed in high school but have come to know pretty well thanks to our mutual friend and to FB. And to whom, when we were both inexcusably drunk, I once gave an "all-access pass" that I sincerely hope he burned immediately!
  • They say plain chocolate is best for you, but do you actually like it?
    dark chocolate is supposedly the best (of the bunch). I like it all right, but will usually choose milk chocolate. I don't eat much chocolate in general, though.
  • When was the last time you ate cake? What type of cake was it?
    that mandarin orange cake, a month or so ago, was my last cake. We're currently working through an apple bread pudding, though.
  • Have you ever been told that you were too good/not good enough for someone you loved/liked? Why do you think someone would say that to you?
    my first serious boyfriend was not good enough for me. Everyone involved knew it, and knew why, and it blew up in my stupid, stubborn face for just that reason.

    I was convinced that I wasn't good enough for a guy I dated in college--in the sense of being "not in his league"--and my inability to trust myself and him and the situation just made it all awful and forced and...ugh. If I could go back in time, I'd conk myself on the head over that one. And I'd take away his booze, because he drank way too much to be of use to anyone.
  • If the last person you kissed said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?
    I would not.
  • Have you filled in any other surveys today, besides this one? If you have, did this survey have any questions that were the same as, or similar to, the questions you were asked in the other surveys?
    this is it
  • Who was your first crush? How do you feel about that person now? Do you still talk to them?
    my first crush was a grumpy, mercurial boy with dark hair and very red lips. He had a wicked sense of humor, no concern for authority, and a devastating way of looking at me that made me think he could see past all the things I didn't yet understand, but didn't want anyone to notice. I miss him more and more as his birthday approaches, knowing that I'll really never see him again.
  • Who was the last person that apologized to you? What was it for?
    one of my dear friends apologized for needing to talk. I was just glad to be there.
  • So, how are things going with the person you love/like?
    the person I love/like is far away from here, living his own life, prehaps oblivious to my feelings in that regard. Considering the circumstances, it is as it should be.
  • Is there a song you can listen to all the time and never get tired of it?
    not really. My life requires musical variety to keep sane. I'm posting some songs that are roaming through my brain to FB tonight. "Kiss Your Tears Away" by the Smithereens, and "Only One" by Lifehouse.
  • Are you 'in love' with the last person you kissed?
    I'm not, no
  • Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone?
    there are photos accompanying maybe a third of my contacts, though they're generally not photos of those people. Confused yet?
  • Who was the last person you talked to before going to sleep last night? What did you talk about?
    I talk to the same two people before I go to sleep every day--they are the other two people who live in this house. We talk about all sorts of things!
  • Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook? How did you meet that person?
    a friend's husband commented on my profile photo a couple of days ago
  • How many of your friends are sexually active?
    that's need-to-know, and I really, really don't
  • Have you ever felt deeply affected by the death of a celebrity?
    definitely, although not because of the 'celebrity' angle (I hope)
  • To finish, is there anything you would like to say to someone?
    to everyone: comments are welcome. Encouraged, even. There was a time, way back when prior to the dawning of FB and Twitter and the immediacy of everything on the planet, when lurking on a blog without ever commenting was considered bad form. I'm not saying this because I "think it's bad form," but because I'm curious about who's out there, who's reading, why, and what it's all about.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by George R.R. Martin, from A Storm of Swords]


  1. This makes me melancholy, joyful, sentimental, and happy. With just a dash of concern because you are my friend and your loneliness is palpable. All I can say is that loneliness is not a permanent state.