every strike brings me closer to the next home run

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

☀️ Mindplay Friday: Which Summer Olympic Sport Are You? 🏅 

 

Some people are built for speed. 

Others thrive on precision, endurance, strategy, or teamwork. 

And some of us are happiest cheering from the couch with snacks. 

Answer these five questions to discover your Olympic destiny!

---

1. Which quality best describes you?

A. Determined
B. Precise
C. Adaptable
D. Enthusiastic

2. You are given a difficult challenge. What is your approach?

A. Push through and outlast it
B. Study it carefully before acting
C. Adjust as circumstances change
D. Find the fun in the process

3. Which environment appeals most?

A. Open roads and long distances
B. Quiet concentration
C. Fast-moving action
D. A comfortable chair with a good view

4. Which accomplishment sounds most satisfying?

A. Finishing something extremely difficult
B. Executing something flawlessly
C. Succeeding under pressure
D. Experiencing something memorable

5. Pick a motto:

A. "Keep going."
B. "Aim carefully."
C. "Stay flexible."
D. "Life is meant to be enjoyed."

    Results in the comments!

 

[quiz generated by chatGPT; the title quotation is attributed to Babe Ruth]

anyone have snacks? I feel like we should have snacks for this

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow. 🤨

 

🏈 What’s Your Signature Super Bowl Snack? 🏈 

 

Even if you don’t watch the game, 

you bring something to the table. 

Your snack of choice says more than you think.

---

1. At a party, you’re usually…

    A. Hosting

    B. Fully invested

    C. Casually social    

    D. Hovering near the kitchen

 

2. Your ideal food texture is…

    A. Layered

    B. Messy

    C. Fresh    

    D. Thoughtful

 

3. People describe your taste as…

    A. Generous

    B. Passionate

    C. Easygoing    

    D. Refined

 

4. You believe snacks should be…

    A. Shareable

    B. Satisfying

    C. Simple    

    D. Well-made

 

5. You secretly judge people for…

    A. Not bringing enough

    B. Playing it safe

    C. Over-complicating    

    D. Phoning it in

 

Results in the comments!

 

[quiz generated by chatGPT; the title quotation is by Shannon Messenger, from Nightfall]

the value of money is that with it we can tell any man to go to the devil

What is your favorite animal?

Rupert

Tell me something you are planning to do tomorrow: after work, I am having dinner with a former coworker. We almost always have grand plans of either eating vast amounts, drinking after eating, or going shopping like madwomen on these excursions. We almost always behave, though, calling it quits before things really get out of hand. We are creatures of moderate habits.

Do you wear jewelry? What is your favorite type of jewelry to wear?

I do wear jewelry, and I tend to wear the same thing every day with small variations: two toe rings on the second toe of my left foot; two captive bead hoop barbells and a diamond stud in my left ear; and a captive bead hoop barbell, a diamond stud, and a horseshoe barbell in my right ear. (It drives my parents--and probably some other people--completely around the bend that my earrings are not symmetrical.) I occasionally swap out the diamonds with other studs or hoops. And I wear a necklace or two maybe once or twice a week.

Fill in the blank: Today I am really sore because I haven't been sleeping well and my back is taking a beating because of all the tossing and turning.

What kids’ show do you like? are Peanuts on anymore, ever?

How well/fast do you type? I either type well or fast; it evens out to somewhere around 80 WPM.

Which would make you feel more appreciated by your significant other: bringing home flowers, doing a chore without being asked, or asking you on a “date?” this is the kind of question that makes me want to punch my gender in the throat.

Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind, of course

Do you wake up easily in the morning or require coffee, exercise, or something else to get you going? require exercise in the morning, to get going? What an awful thought!

I just need time. It's like getting alcohol out of one's system. All in good time.

Are you anxious about anything today? What? Anxious? Me? Just money, job/career, living arrangements, friends, car, health, fitness, and love-life (or lack of same).

What is something fun you are planning to do? I'm going to read about 10 books this weekend. That's about as fun as it gets, for me!

Would you rather be in a really cold place or a really hot place? no, thank you

Have you ever had a boyfriend that you regret dating? there are a couple of guys that I don't regret dating. That's saying something, I suppose? I'm even FB friends with them, still.

Do you feel younger or older than your current age? oh, younger--particularly lately

What do you recycle at your house, if anything? that's a sore subject

Who is the boss in your house? Fluffy

Do you buy lottery or Powerball tickets? I'll buy scratch-offs now and then

Do you get easily embarrassed? that made me stop and ponder, because my first reaction was "of course," but when I consider it: no, I really don't. I'm more prone to feeling embarrassed on someone else's behalf, which may be less progressive or fair, but that's how I am.

When you were in school, did you speak up in class? it depends on the class. I never shut my mouth in some of them (Spanish, I think? And some of the English ones. And History, of course.), while in others you couldn't have pried my lips open with a crowbar. (Hello, law school.)

Did you sit in front or the back? if you have to ask...

If you are in your yard, front or back, what are you most likely to be doing? I'm not really a "yard" person

When did you first see your husband/wife? no one knows. I'm not being facetious: we literally do not remember, either of us, where or when we met. It happened sometime during my sophomore year, his junior year (or the summer after that?) because we started overlapping at parties and things where we hadn't before. His (H's) roommate (D1) was dating my best friend's (D2's) roommate (M). So when those girls (D2 and M and their three roommates) would have parties at their apartment, or when the guys (H and D1) would have parties at their place, we would see each other. The first few months that we knew of each other, I thought he was an arrogant prick. In the days of buy-a-cup beer keg parties, he was bringing a bottle of Canadian whiskey and sitting cross-legged on the floor, drinking from the bottle and generally being anti-social. Not the point of those parties, to be sure. Obviously, at some point he grew on me, to a fashion. But it was not love at first sight - in either direction.

Do you wear contacts or glasses? I do. I wear contacts most of the time, and glasses when I'm not using contacts.

Who is your favorite reality TV star? Richard Engel

What is your favorite reality TV show? SNF

Do you color your hair? no, but Meg does

How often do you wear makeup? pretty much anytime I leave the house, there's something on my face

Describe yourself in three words. Nimble, Unassuming, Independent

Describe your best friend. Clever, Tolerant, Loving

What is your favorite thing to wear? men's PJ pants, camisole, long sleeve t-shirt

What would you love to buy if you could afford it? financial freedom for my best friends

[from here {with some practical modifications}; the title quotation is by W. Somerset Maugham, from Of Human Bondage]

people who do not understand themselves have a craving for understanding

Some things that I have learned:

• guys are dumb, but I am pretty often way worse
• lending money to someone you know is the worst idea ever. Either give it, or don't.
• no, borrowing money (privately) is the worst idea ever. Both parties can claim it's not going to be a problem, but it will be. It always is. As soon as something green goes from point A to point B--with intent to return--something's been irretrievably fucked.
• there is almost no substitute for good sex.
• good sex is not, on its own, a substitute for much. Think those last two are logically incompatible? They're not. Really.
• I owe a lot to Toby--who would, apart from these things, be almost completely forgettable
  • it's a lie when people say, "Exercise makes you feel good." I've been doing it faithfully for 3 months, and I can honestly say that I hate it, the whole time, every time. What is good, though, is having lost 15 pounds, feeling remotely healthier, and being on track to being healthier, both short- and long-term.
  • it's easier to keep my apartment tidy, or at least within the range of "I can get it clean within a half hour or so", when I'm seeing someone who's got issues about neatness.
  • I don't want to be with somebody who drinks too much. How much is too much? If you don't know, I will be able to tell you.
  • it would take an act of God for me to be interested in an older guy that I didn't know really well.
  • I miss Popeye sooooooo much.
• all that being said, I suppose I owe a lot to Ulysses, at least for introducing Toby & me. What a thing to have to think, but it's still true.
• I've loved him for a lot longer than I thought I'd know him.
• keeping work and non-work separate is incredibly vital to my peace of mind. When I'm mentally lazy, I tend to let the lines cross, to bring work home and to start thinking of work as home and to diminish the value of the separation. The separation is absolutely key. See why I didn't want to practice? I could never leave it at the office.
• some things, when you have to ask for them, aren't worth what they would be otherwise. These include:
  • raises,
  • hugs (and other expressions of that sort) from friends, and
  • anything in a restaurant that was ordered to come with the meal but arrived later.
• any man who spontaneously (and, need I add, correctly) uses the word "gratuitous" in a Facebook post is automatically +2 for life.
• when you say, "but I didn't get you anything!" in response to a gift, that does not convey, "This is great! Thank you!" It conveys, "Aww, fuck. Now I'm beholden. I wish you had not done this." If that's what you mean, go right ahead and say it. (In other words, the way that you accept a gift matters to the person who gave it.) If what you want is to be off the hook for future gifts, you need to remove yourself from the current hook.
• in any relationship, one person can't always be the one who asks (to do things, to meet for coffee, to hang out...). That person starts to feel unworthy, or like they're stalking, or, worst of all, like they've wasted all effort that's come before in the friendship. If there's no give-and-take, the only natural reaction is to feel like only one of you cares anymore.
• it sucks to really like someone (personally) with whom one has to "be the bad guy" in a professional sense. There is a natural, I think, tendency, then, to avoid the personal aspects of relationships, in order to make the professional side of things that much easier. It's only the personal that really matters.

• ranting is no substitute for careful thought and communication. A large portion of what goes on in the name of political commentary is no more than ranting. I am not a political scientist, but I did spend a portion of my scholarly training reading their work and learning their trade; what many "experts"--and a loud minority of my friends--put out there is no more astute analysis or useful commentary than a dog makes. It's embarrassing.
• this weekend's sport events are causing some major issues for a lot of people I know. It's pretty sad. It's not that I don't care who wins; rather surprisingly, I have a horse in this race, too. But there's no convincing someone to change their allegiance, if it's strongly felt. And if it's not strongly felt, it's not much of an allegiance anyway, so why would you want it for your own team? And in the end, What Does It Matter? What it comes down to is which colored uniforms the guys are wearing who make you smile (or whatever) when you're sitting like a zombie in front of the TV. Is that what your self-esteem rides on? *ouch*
• deep-cleaning the apartment takes more than a half-hour. That's what Sundays are for. If I get started now, I can watch the games in relative peace....

[title quotation by Wilhelm Stekel]

I'm the player to be named later.

1. How vain are you about how you look? on what sort of scale? I try to maintain a certain degree of cleanliness and situational appropriateness at all times, but that's due more to the distressing habit of some friends to just stop by on a whim, and not so much because I'm really feeling it.
2. When you were little what was your favorite TV show? Bugs Bunny
3. If someone was going to make a movie or TV show about your life, who would play you and why? Drew Barrymore is a given at this point. We are, allegedly, twins.
4. Who is your favorite Major League Baseball team? How about your favorite player? meh. I am marginally a Cubs fan, even more marginally a Twins fan (don't tell the folks at home). I like Joe Mauer, and I've always thought that Augie Ojeda was adorable. All time, though? Gary Gaetti. I'm a sucker for an invaluable utility man.
5. What is your favorite baseball-related movie? I love sports movies--just another way that I am, as Nick would have put it, "a guy's girl." Subject to change: Bull Durham.
6. What is one lesson you have learned in the past year? There is something about me that is mystically, hypnotically mesmerizing to people that I could very easily fall in love with, but just not in the way that makes them fall in love with me.
7. Tell us about one of your childhood memories. When I was 8 or 9, I was allowed to stay home alone on New Years' Eve when my parents, brother and sister all had plans. Though I was by myself fairly often, it was only for much shorter periods of time--so this was a big deal. I promptly turned it into a complete disaster. After turning on Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve (my NYE entertainment of choice) and pulling out my snack stash of Nacho Cheese Doritos and Dr. Pepper (the combination of which sounds terrifically vile at the moment), I sat on the couch to lace on my roller skates. For no good reason that I can possibly give, I decided that I should break pretty much every cardinal rule that existed in the household, the primary of which was to never, ever skate in the house. Music playing, I skated in circles for a while, swigging Dr. P and smooshing nacho cheese into the carpet with abandon. At some point, I decided that the music was entirely too quiet. I skated to the TV (yes, this was in the archaic pre-remote days) and cranked up the volume (still to a degree that would be barely audible to most 9-y-o's today), and then skated backward to the couch for more snacking. I lowered myself onto the couch...and missed. My skates flew out from under me and my tailbone bounced off the wooden edge of the couch, below and in front of the cushion, bearing the entirety of my body weight. Thank God I was abnormally small or I'd have probably jammed the thing straight up and out my mouth. As it was, I immediately flopped onto my stomach, in complete agony. I've never removed anything from my feet so fast as I did those skates. When I could finally breathe (I'd knocked the wind from myself), I slowly and carefully put the skates away, cleaned up the Dorito mess, turned the TV down and off, brushed my teeth and went to bed...at around 8:00 PM. I couldn't sit, lie down, or stand comfortably for months after that. Talk about learning a lesson the hard way: that's why I wasn't supposed to roller skate in the house!
8. How do you handle sticky situations? Do you have a method? If so, what is it? depends on the situation. I am less diplomatic with every passing moment, though I can pretend to be a grownup when I really have to be. In general, I probably just try to fade into the woodwork. Safest for all, that way.
9. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I'm sure that they do. Life's too short to get too bent about it, though.

[from The Cat, who got it here]

the shadows: some hide, others reveal

• Anybody have a puppy they need kicked, or see a child whose candy's just begging to be stolen? Today is apparently my day to ruin everything. I've stomped on the feelings of practically everyone I know, and not intentionally. If there is anyone I missed, please do feel free to contact me. It's only fair that I be allowed to bat 1.000 on the day.
• Easing our way back into football...it was a strange day on the field. The Bears played so badly (first and goal from the 1, and they couldn't convert on four attempts?! And you call yourselves an NFL team, for God's sake?!) and still managed to win--which says something for the "rejuvenated" Lions. (I will leave it to others to debate the officiating in that game, since I didn't see the final play. I do know that there was a lot of second-guessing going on, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if the officials did not have their stories straight.) I also watched Packers/Eagles (both teams looked shakier than I expected but the final result seemed right to me), Colts/Texans (a surprise), and part of Cowboys/Redskins (I want to care, but I just don't).
• The weather matched the rest of the day. Cold this morning when I got up (before 8:00! What the hell?!), still cool for most of the morning. The sun came out around noon, I think. Then it got windy and hot in a hurry, but I still had the windows open because it felt and smelled fresh and good outside. Around the end of the 1:00 games, I closed the blinds on the west side and eventually had to close the windows because the wind was getting too strong. Maybe 7:PM, the storm started. It was very windy (all the windows were straining, on both sides of the apt.) and there was a little rain but I couldn't tell what direction it was from. The worst of it was the lightning, which was almost constant for a long time. Well, that was the worst of it outside. Inside, once I closed the windows, the temperature made it up to 80° in about 15 minutes. I'm running the AC now. Blargh.
• In other news, I need to have a calm, serious discussion with the person who makes more important decisions than me at the place where I am employed. Given our track record, this could be problematic. I know what the answer will be; I just need that person to actually give the answer, so that it's not coming from me. Surely there is a way to do this that doesn't require so much bending and twisting--I just haven't quite determined what it is.
• Read any good books lately? I haven't. I returned four last week that I hadn't had a chance to crack, that I wasn't going to get to. I guess it's just not a reading time. Wednesday is a short day (haircut in the afternoon) and dinner with a friend on Thursday...or maybe tomorrow, as I've also got plans to see a play and if I do that on Thursday, then I can go to my weekend plans on Friday rather than Saturday.... Hmm. Well. Will have to see what's happening with the dinner person tomorrow.
• It's been a hell of a day, and not the best weekend on record. I've been awake for a very long time. My eyes are wide open and I don't think I could sleep if I had to. Can't wait to see what 3:PM Monday looks like.
• Some good things: I read a little (a book of poetry); finished some work that I brought home (review journals); wrote a bunch of letters (mostly postcards); took some pictures (will be posted soonish); polished my toenails ("Russian Navy"); washed, dried, and put away all the laundry except the two sweaters that are still slightly damp; cleaned some stuff out of the fridge that was going bad; changed the linens (always a nice thing, making me think I should do it every other day) (in case you need that clarified: no, I do not do that every day); and hauled out the trash and recycling. Maybe I'm tired enough to sleep after all.

[title quotation by Antonio Porchia, Voces, trans. by W.S. Merwin]

ain’t ever been a good idea to reach out and touch someone...

    Back from up north. It was hot up there, and it's cooler and rainy down here. Makes sense to me.
    This birthday was, in all, abnormal. I had some very good times (pictures to come) but the day itself was a combination pain in the ass/disappointment/wrenching nightmare that I'm very glad to be through. Sometimes it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps, as Emo Philips said.
    This video from NFL.com made me think twice about wearing nice jewelry to work, though my job doesn't make it this ridiculous: "This is why we don't wear huge diamond earrings to practice."
    I had my car fixed while I was away. Guess what? There's something new going wrong. Mumbler blew his lunch hour today driving it so we could put our heads together on possible diagnoses. Besides saying it was really fun to drive and that he misses driving a stick, his conclusion was that it's a wheel bearing (there was some complicated mumbled blah blah attached to that) or something CV something axle. He's expecting it to show up in the $100-$200 range for parts and a couple of hours' labor. I'm ready to shove the thing off a cliff. Hey, lucky for me, there are no cliffs in this stupid state. Maybe I'll get my money out of it after all.
    I should be in bed. The infant coworkers are taking me out tomorrow for a late birthday crawl. Last year when we did this, it took about a week for me to recover. This year, no tequila shots! I'll need to be productive during the day, sorting out possible sleeping arrangements for at least one more person and possibly three.
    Also: if anyone knows where I can find that Breathalyzer unit to attach to my phone, now would be the time to cough it up.

nothing ventured...

• What was your love life like a year ago?
  surreptitious
• Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad?
  yes
• Hook-up or the whole relationship thing?
  "the whole relationship thing", please
• Who is your closest friend of the opposite sex?
  Rob, Andy & big brother
  
• Last person to make you smile?
  big brother
  
• Who can you blame for your bad mood today?
  no blame - my mood is not impaired today
• What was the last song you listened to?
  "Falling Down" by Vertical Horizon
• Name one person who is the most like you?
  college BFF
  
• What would you do if your best friend moved?
  I'd be pissed - but it's happened before and I know we'd survive it
• What is something you really want right now?
  for the Steelers to play like the Steelers and the Bears to play like the Bears, and not vice versa. This is VERY irritating!
• What are you doing this coming weekend?
  goin' to a weddin'
• Do you have any fun plans for today?
  watching football, buying groceries, doing laundry, writing a letter
• Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
  yes
• Last person who held your hand?
  ...is at the Cowboys-Giants game today
• What are you listening to at the moment?
  Bears-Steelers, laundry tumbling in the dryer, and my fingers on the keyboard
• Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
  long
• Do you want to cut your hair?
  no - I have someone for that
  
• Are you in a good mood? If yes, Why?
  meh. Stoopid [MLB player].
• When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
  besides [MLB player]? Probably something work-related
• Do you think your ex still likes you?
  I know he still sends a couple of dozen text messages every few days. If that equates to "like", then, yeah.
• What is wrong with you right now?
  hungry. Hating this football game.
• Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
  Um, yeah. That might be the story of my life so far.
• Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
  no. I think I'm more the "jerking away quickly" type.
• Would you kiss an ugly person for $1,000?
  right now I would kiss [redacted MLB player] for $1000 - I'm seriously broke and need to replace my computer and my camera within the next month or so.
• Has someone close to you passed away this year?
  yes
• Do you watch "The Hills"?
  no
• Last CD you played?
  definitely a mix. The last prerecorded CD was probably the new Sister Hazel - Release
• What are you thinking about right now?
  food. I'm hungry and the Dinner-Making Elves haven't yet shown up.
• Wearing any bracelets?
  nope. Bracelets are a very rare occurrence for me.
• What were you doing at midnight last night?
  yapping
• Have you ever gone to a beach?
  yes. (Is there seriously a person on the planet who can say No to this??)
• What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
  whatever's there is fine. I'm not a connoisseur.
• How long does it take you to get ready?
  depends what I'm getting ready for. In a pinch I can get moving in 10 minutes. If I'm going to a wedding, it's likely to be closer to 90.
• What are you wearing?
  flannel PJ pants and a gray t-shirt.
• When was the last time you smiled?
  last night?
• What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
  quit
• What is your ideal marriage location?
  "marriage" doesn't happen in one place. "Wedding" does. That being said, it would depend very much on the people being wed, eh?
• Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
  drums
• Something you love and hate?
  clean laundry
• What kind of soap do you use?
  Ivory
• Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
  as much as they can tolerate
• What's the one language you want to learn?
  the language of luuurve
• What do you order at a bar?
  Bacardi lemonade, though I prefer Cruzan
• Do you have tattoos?
  yes. You mean there's someone on the planet who didn't already know that?
• Do you drive stick?
  yes
• What's one trait you hate in a person?
  "hate"
• What do you cook the best?
  pancakes. My chicken fricassee kicks ass, but Maureen's is better (and the original). I love my lasagna, but my mom's is better (and the original). My chicken tortilla soup is amazing, but my former spouse makes a version that puts mine to shame. So, really, when push comes to shove, "the best" extends only to...pancakes.
• Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
  I'm a blender.
• Do you have anything monogrammed?
  yes, to my everlasting chagrin
• Have you ever done drugs?
  yes
• If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
  tell a bunch of people how I really feel about them. Oh My God, that would be SO much fun!
• Burial or cremation?
  whatever. Least of my worries, eh?
• What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
  Monopoly
• If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
  by glaring and sticking out my tongue
• How many drinks before you're tipsy?
  depends on the drink. Apparently with tequila it's just one.
• Favorite kind of porn?
  [I'm so tempted to put something truly vile here.]
• Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
  no, but it doesn't really come up regularly, does it?
• What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
  not terribly memorable
• What's one thing you like to do alone?
  most things
• What's the worst thing you ever said to someone?
  "yes"
• Are you a giver or a taker?
  depends. Probably mostly a giver.
• Favorite communication method?
  Morse code
• What is one thing you don't leave home without?
  keys
• Are you good at Sudoku?
  no
• What's your favorite kind of popcorn: caramel, cheese, or regular?
  not a fan
• If you have a cell phone, do you still have the instruction manual to it?
  yes
• Do you believe truly that blood is thicker than water?
  yes. Scientific studies have shown....
• Do you think that somebody can be too young to be in love?
  sure: a certain threshold emotional maturity seems to be necessary
• Are there any events in your past that you are uncomfortable talking about?
  oh, hell yes
• Do you think true love has anything to do with gender?
  nah
• Name one person you would die for no matter what?
  "no matter what" is a sticky wicket
• Your ex said they dislike you, what would you say?
  "I dislike you, too. And yet, you still owe me money."
• Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
  "everything" is a very strong word
• Do you curse in front of your parents?
  I'm getting better at it as time goes by
• Are you happy with life?
  sure, given the alternative
• Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
  I know of people with the same name as me, but none personally.
• Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
  yup
• Was this weekend a good one?
  apart from serious sleep deprivation (which is nothing new) - yes
• Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
  yes. It's not really all that exciting. Clothing, it seems, is clothing.
• Who's the last person you rode in a car with that was under 21 and driving?
  Sam?
• Are you a heavy sleeper?
  can be. Lately, probably not.
• Is there someone you wanna date right now?
  yes
• If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
  5 years
• You're stuck on an elevator with the person you fell the hardest for, what happens?
  I guess I crush them?
• Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
  yes
• Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
  I enjoy having them, but I'd have to be masochistic to enjoy getting them. And I'm not.
• You're a Sharpie marker; what color are you?
  maroon
• Would you ever date your number 2?
  don't do MySpace, and, no
• Do you remember your first real relationship?
  yes
• Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'?
  yes - and "best friend" is two words
• Do you miss anyone?
  yes
• Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
  yes
• Do you take walks often?
  not for a few months, sadly. I've been sick, and busy.
• Would you call yourself smart?
  all the time
• Do you like to read?
  yup
• What did you do for your last birthday?
  drank far, far too much - but had an extraordinary time before the world went to hell
• What's your favorite season?
  autumn
• Looking forward to something this weekend?
  yes, the wedding to which I referred several questions ago
• Is good grammar attractive?
  only in the sense that poor grammar is pathetically repulsive
• Are you jealous of one or more of your friends?
  no
• Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
  if "whole" means from age 5 on
• Are any of your friends taller than you?
  the majority of my friends are taller than I am
• Do you think abortions are horrible?
  there is a lot more to it than "yes"/"no"
• Who was the last person that said "I love you" to you?
  the Cowboys fan

[split into 2 parts, from The Cat, who got it here]
UPDATE: One of the worst motherfucking days in NFL history, hands down.

enough!

    No: I did not work the game last night. I did not pay anyone to cheat for me, or for the team for which I cheer. I am not rejoicing over questionable officiating (do not quibble over my terminology). I had nothing to do with it. I was just watching, like some other people were watching, and I happened to be happier with the outcome than some other people might have been.
    I get that not everybody felt that way.
    I also get that some people might need to vent about it.
    VENT SOMEPLACE ELSE. Leave me out of it. Not on my wall, or in my email, or in my face. Have more respect for me.

tweakage (2009)

    OK, now I'm seriously done with the template for a while. I've reordered the sidebar so it makes a bit more logical sense. I've added hover titles for the Tags (check them out - they're kind of funny). The Backlist is in a handy drop-down menu instead of the massive block of links. The font is back to my familiar Georgia. Questions, comments, complaints: let me have 'em.
    In other news, I've spent the day doing laundry, vacuuming cornmeal and beads out of the berber carpeting, and watching football. I'm not surprised that the Giants lost (Elisha hasn't had it this year - you'll never convince me otherwise) and I'm thrilled that the Steelers are doing so well but I'm not dancing yet. (As I type this, SD scored a TD. Bastards. It's gonna be a long final 9 minutes.)
    My feet are absolutely frozen and my head's been goofy all day. Sort of dizzy and discombobulated. I'm oddly glad I'm not making an appearance at the CatBeast's. I would hate to appear even more lightheaded....
    My phone has completely gone off its rocker. I don't receive all my text messages (not like I ever have!). Someone called me this afternoon and the phone didn't ring, but after the call it made a sort of beep and the readout said "Missed Call." Um, thanks. I tried to send a text to the person who'd called and it wouldn't relay the text for the first 25 minutes that I tried to send it. I'm about ready to take the thing out back and shoot it. My bill is also incorrect...again...for the 8th straight month. I didn't realize that the bill was wrong until the 4th month, so at that point I took it to the Nextel store and they "corrected" it. Month 5: online customer "service" fix. Month 6: same thing. Month 7: same thing. This time, I've printed the bill and will take it to the Sprint store. I will present the problem in exactly the same way that I have the past four times. If they do not offer a solution that is different from that offered the past four times, I will seek to be released from my contract so I can get a phone and service from a company that actually provides reliable phone and text - and customer - service.
    I'm putting off writing a "thanks but...no" message to an OkCupid guy. Started writing it about 3 hours ago. Why do I care about his feelings? Ugh. I hate feeling soft about this. Wish I could just ruthlessly crush him, delete my profile, and leave this chapter behind. Instead, I'm struggling to phrase it all nicely, and he's probably not going to remember me in 2 weeks. *sigh*
    Maybe I should finish the vacuuming and do my toenails before I write that message....

see Rex? see Rex go 3-and-out

This is terrifying, but not as bad as Green Leaves. Please do not watch this in the presence of anyone with strong moral character or a weak stomach.

could it be? it's official!

    Crouched on the floor in front of the TV, again, tears streaming down my cheeks.
    The Cubs have clinched. They are the 2008 National League Central Division champions.
    Could it be?

could it be?

For the past 15 minutes, I've been sitting on the floor in front of my TV, crying like a baby. Carlos Zambrano, the Cubs' number-one starting pitcher, just threw the first no-hitter for that team in thirty-six years.

Woot!

state of mind

~ I want to punch the following people in the face:

* Rachael Ray (STOP it already. Enough fucking cookbooks, you crazy woman!)

* My neighbors' kids. (I know it's not their fault that they are allowed - or encouraged - to scream nonstop from 6 AM-8:30 AM every fucking day, but the parents are bigger than them [and me] and would probably fight back.)

* 90% of my coworkers on any given day. (Just 'cause.)

* Whoever started advertising mustard as "fat free."

* "Fashion" designers who create clothing for very young girls (i.e. single-digit age) which is shaped to accentuate their bodies. Adult clothing is bad enough, but there is something completely creepy about deep V-necks and miniskirts on little kids.

~ I wish I could afford:

* Bellona sandals from J.Jill ($125)

* This gorgeous and probably useless dress (cost unknown)

* Shorts from the Sundance Catalog ($88) * Opal necklace from Blue Nile ($250* A new Canon Rebel XSi (camera) (approx. $500) ~ I currently wish that I could:

* swallow without dipping my chin (because my throat is so sore that it feels like I'm swallowing a pineapple when I take a sip of water)
* sleep without having CRAZY FEVER DREAMS for the first time in four days
* stay awake for more than four hours at a stretch
* eat something other than liquids
* remain upright long enough to haul my sick, sick, sick ass to the grocery store so that I do not starve to death before I recover

~ This weekend I have watched the following sporting events:

* Saturday - Cubs v. Pirates (L 4-5)
* Sunday
-- Cubs v. Pirates (L 5-6)
-- NASCAR Pepsi blah blah (Casey Kahne)
* Monday - Cubs v. Dodgers (W 3-1)
* (Incidentally, my new favorite Cubbie is Reed Johnson. I wish women had hair options like his!)

why I miss travelling

proud

The second item from the top, on the "Hot" side.



[from Sports Illustrated, 7 April 2008]

cementing my status as "complete weirdo"

...and official member of my family:

I {heart} Chad Knaus!

three in a row

    My [first] alma mater is playing in their third consecutive Division II Men's Basketball tournament finals. Two years ago, they won. Last year, they took second. Their center, John Smith, is the repeating Division II National Player of the Year. They've beaten two undefeated teams in the last three days.
    The best thing? The game is nationally-televised. I'm spending a cold, sunny Saturday watching my hometown team play basketball in a national tournament on CBS!
    Go Warriors!
update: THEY DID IT!!! 87-76. It was a total nail-biter, and they really played hard. Awesome game, and I was *bawling* for the final minute and during the presentation and interviews. Woot!!!

squeeeaaaaaaal!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! I *love* Ben Roethlisberger!

I was literally panting after I watched this [link died] for the first time. (And it took me 3 tries to spell "first" correctly in the last sentence; my brain is on fire!) Thanks, Cat!!!

pointlessly silly sportscrush post

    I'm back from the Great White North, which isn't an exaggeration. Something like 15" of snow fell while I was there, on top of whatever ice managed to make it to the ground while I drove up. I'd planned to write about the trip, but my brain is fried and the apartment is in shambles. To tide you over until I can find 2 brain cells to rub together, here's my end-of-2007 "Hottie List" - the sports edition.

LANE KIFFIN - Youngest NFL coach in history. - Coaches the Oakland Raiders.
In Over His Head hottie. CHAD KNAUS - Rockford IL native. - Crew Chief for Jimmie Johnson (NASCAR).
Balding And Rich As Hell hottie.SIDNEY CROSBY - (NHL) Pittsburgh Penguins Captain. - He can fight as well as score.
Very Young Hockey Player hottie.RICH EISEN - Former ESPN, current NFL Network, reporter.
Sarcastic Media Nerd hottie.HOWIE LONG - NFL Hall of Fame defensive end. - One of the hosts of Fox' NFL coverage.
Sorta old But Still Steamin' hottie.ARAMIS RAMIREZ - Cubs third baseman.
Home-Run Hitting Dominican hottie.BEN ROETHLISBERGER
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback.
Motorcycle-riding bigger-than-average of-Swiss-heritage blogging Super Bowl champion.
Looks A Lot Like The Guy That I Really Want hottie.