life has a cruel way of balancing pleasure with pain

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🎬 Which Filmmaker Should Direct the Movie of Your Life? 🎦

 

If your life were a film, the director would matter a great deal. Some filmmakers emphasize sweeping emotion, others suspense, others quiet longing or bold artistic vision. Which cinematic mind would capture the rhythm, drama, and meaning of your story best? Take this quiz to discover who should be behind the camera.  

---

1. The tone of your life story would mostly be: 

    A. Grand and dramatic, full of big ideas. 

    B. Quietly romantic and emotionally reflective. 

    C. Hopeful and adventurous. 

    D. Tense and mysterious. 

 

2. Your ideal movie scene would involve: 

    A. A powerful monologue and striking visuals. 

    B. Two people sharing a quiet moment heavy with feeling. 

    C. A triumphant breakthrough after a long struggle. 

    D. A suspenseful situation where every detail matters. 

 

3. Your personal storytelling style tends to be: 

    A. Big themes and bold ideas. 

    B. Mood, memory, and atmosphere. 

    C. Warm, human, and inspiring. 

    D. Clever twists and sharp observations. 

 

4. The visual style of your life film would be: 

    A. Bold compositions and striking shadows. 

    B. Neon lights, slow motion, and lingering glances. 

    C. Expansive landscapes and emotional moments. 

    D. Carefully framed tension and visual clues. 

 

5. The audience leaving your movie would probably say: 

    A. “That was powerful.” 

    B. “That was beautiful.” 

    C. “That was uplifting.” 

    D. “That kept me guessing.” 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is by Sidney Lumet, from Making Movies]

the muse (in other words)

Poor talker     mouthperson 

    alone 

waiting for bravery 

 

the muse (in 

    other words) 

        Oh language 

 

circumvent my tongue 

    tell pen 

        Move! 

 

Make text 

 

[Grace Paley {1922-2007} 'In France', from Begin Again: The Collected Poems]

strayed from my own nature and my fierce hold on life

The word I spoke in anger 

weighs less than a parsley seed, 

but a road runs through it 

that leads to my grave, 

that bought-and-paid-for lot 

on a salt-sprayed hill in Truro 

where the scrub pines 

overlook the bay. 

Half-way I'm dead enough, 

strayed from my own nature 

and my fierce hold on life. 

If I could cry, I'd cry, 

but I'm too old to be 

anybody's child. 

Liebchen, 

with whom should I quarrel 

except in the hiss of love, 

that harsh, irregular flame? 

 

[Stanley Kunitz {1905-2006} 'The Quarrel', from Passing Through: The Later Poems, New and Selected]

she was lonely, too - lonely in a way that perhaps only single girls fresh from small Midwestern towns know

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🏡 What Kind of Small Town Are You? 🏡

 

Some small towns are lively and colorful, others quiet and reflective. Some hum with creativity, while others feel timeless and comforting. If your personality were a small town on the map, what kind would it be? Take this quiz to discover the place that matches your personal vibe.  

---

1. A perfect Saturday in your town would include: 

    A. A farmers’ market and live music in the square. 

    B. A quiet walk along a river or wooded trail. 

    C. Art galleries, little cafés, and creative energy. 

    D. A classic diner breakfast where everyone knows your name. 

 

2. Your town’s main street would be known for: 

    A. Festivals, parades, and seasonal celebrations. 

    B. Scenic beauty and peaceful views. 

    C. Quirky shops and creative spaces. 

    D. Friendly locals and timeless charm. 

 

3. Visitors would describe your town as: 

    A. Fun and full of life. 

    B. Calm and restorative. 

    C. Creative and a little unexpected. 

    D. Welcoming and comforting. 

 

4. Your role in the community would probably be: 

    A. Event organizer or enthusiastic host. 

    B. Nature guide or peaceful wanderer. 

    C. Artist, writer, or creative spirit. 

    D. Reliable neighbor who keeps traditions alive. 

 

5. The feeling people get when they visit your town is: 

    A. “This place knows how to celebrate.” 

    B. “I could breathe here.” 

    C. “Something interesting is always happening.” 

    D. “This feels like home.” 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is by Stephen King, from A Winter's Tale: The Breathing Method]

always between

between the lip 

and the kiss 

between the hand 

and the fist 

between rumor 

and prayer 

between dungeon 

and tower 

between fear 

and liberty 

always 

between 

 

[Rita Dove {1952- } ‘Third Juror’, from American Smooth]

when you've gray hair, people think your heart never skipped

Average rating: 8

Dragon {Wu Xia} (2011) - "In a quiet rural village, a seemingly mild-mannered paper maker becomes an unlikely hero after stopping two dangerous criminals—drawing the attention of a meticulous investigator who suspects there’s more to the man than meets the eye. In Dragon (also known as Wu Xia), the story unfolds as a slow-burning unraveling of identity, where past and present collide and violence carries lasting consequence. What begins as a mystery gradually reveals itself as something more elemental: a man trying to outrun who he once was." 

length: 1h, 38m  |  source: my DVD  |  directed by Peter Chan  |  why I watched: Donnie Yen is growing on me, and of course Takeshi Kaneshiro is a big draw

IMDb: 7.0/10  |  Rotten Tomatoes: NA% / 81% Audience  |  my IMDb: 7/10  |  MPAA: R

tone & texture: somber, textured/earthy

notable quote: "'You have more questions?'

    'I'll think of something.'"

my notes: astonishingly beautiful, this film is made up of some innovative, remarkable, brain-twisting camera work and editing. That means lots of sighs (the rain! paper-making! the river!) and some gasps (the inspector, inspecting! the river!) and a few gags (the EAR!). The action sequences are terrific. 

themes: identity, tradition vs. change, justice

overall:  recommended

 

Belfast (2021) - "Seen through the eyes of a young boy, this film captures a working-class family navigating the sudden eruption of sectarian unrest in late-1960s Northern Ireland. Ordinary routines—school, movies, neighborhood bonds—are disrupted by forces the child can’t fully understand, even as they reshape the family’s sense of home. The film balances moments of warmth and humor with the growing pressure of a world becoming less safe, asking what it means to belong when staying and leaving both carry a cost." 

length: 1h, 37m  |  source: my DVD  |  directed by Kenneth Branagh (also written by)  |  why I watched: I'd heard such good things

IMDb: 7.2/10  |  Rotten Tomatoes: 86% / 92% Audience  |  my IMDb: 8/10  |  MPAA: PG-13

tone & texture: tender, documentary - real

notable quote: "'"Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart."'

    'Is that what does it?'

    'Yeah, well, you don't usually buy your wisdom with a walk in the park. Your heart has to explode.'

    'Mr. Philosopher. And when did your heart ever explode?'"

my notes: a terrific, well-made, stunning-looking film (so stunning, it seems like a series of still images rather than primarily a moving picture) that I never, ever want to see again. Ciarán Hinds and Judi Dench blew me away. It was my first exposure to Jamie Dornan, and to Caitríona Balfe since Ford v. Ferrari. It's just... I spent the entire time with feelings of intense discomfort, bordering on fear, and it was never quite resolved. It left a mark, and not in a good way. 

themes: loss, identity, loyalty

overall: highly recommended

This is Not What I Expected {Xi huan ni} (2017) - "A chance collision between a tightly wound executive and a fiercely intuitive chef sets off a quiet chain reaction neither quite understands at first. What begins in irritation and misalignment gradually becomes a series of small, revealing encounters—where taste, habit, and attention carry more meaning than intention alone. Rather than building toward sweeping declarations, the film lingers in the in-between: moments where people test, resist, and slowly adjust to one another’s presence. As routines are disrupted and assumptions quietly undone, connection emerges not as inevitability, but as something tentative, shaped through curiosity, friction, and the willingness to let another person alter the shape of your world." 

length: 1h, 46m  |  source: my DVD  |  directed by Derek Hui  |  why I watched: after the last film, I wanted something that I knew I would love and be comforted by (previously reviewed here)

IMDb: 6.7/10  |  Rotten Tomatoes: 78% / 87% Audience  |  my IMDb: 10/10  |  MPAA: TV-PG

tone & texture: intimate, lush & romantic

notable quote: "'You're not just a chef. You're special... but sometimes too special. That's beyond any standard. So special that you can't be controlled. So special that I don't know what to do with you.'"

my notes: it's a rare movie that I'll watch twice in two months. Or that I'll buy on DVD after having streamed it. Or whose rating I'll upgrade from 9/10 to 10/10 upon second viewing. This is a unicorn of a movie, and I absolutely love it. 

    It was, incidentally, produced by Peter Ho-sun Chan, who directed Takeshi Kaneshiro in Dragon. Very different films, sharing an interesting aesthetic thanks to that combo.

themes: chaos v. order, love, tradition vs chaos

overall: most strongly recommended

The Natural (1984) - "A gifted but enigmatic ballplayer arrives midseason to revive a struggling team, carrying with him a past that is both obscured and unresolved. In The Natural, myth and memory intertwine with America’s pastime, as talent alone proves insufficient without timing, integrity, and a reckoning with what came before. Told with a sense of quiet grandeur, the film traces the arc of a man who seems larger than life, yet is shaped—like anyone—by missed chances and the fragile hope of redemption." 

length: 2h, 18m  |  source: my DVD  |  directed by Barry Levinson  |  why I watched: the death of Robert Redford (and Robert Duvall) made it important to re-watch (previously reviewed here) 

IMDb: 7.4/10  |  Rotten Tomatoes: 83% / 88% Audience  |  my IMDb: 7/10  |  MPAA: PG

tone & texture: warm, lush & romantic

notable quote: "My life didn't turn out the way I expected."

my notes: it's not a bad movie, just very forgettable. If you like sports films whose purpose is to feature an inspiring hero—Rudy, Miracle, The Blind Side—then this is probably for you. If you're like me, and prefer movies about sports to be more than one infallible giant, then you're looking for something more nuanced, e.g. Bull Durham, Tin Cup, 42, or Breaking Away. 

    Regardless, this is Robert Redford making it look easy at the age of 47. No knocks on that.

    Roger Ebert's review is here (and, no surprise, he didn't love it either). 

themes: redemption, courage

overall:  recommended

 

[the title quotation is from Belfast]

the pool of dreams in which I drown in freedom

You are the company to whom I speak 

suddenly, all alone. 

The words that start 

from silence form you 

and the pool of dreams 

in which I drown in freedom 

till I wake. 

 

Your metallic hand 

strengthens the swift prise of my own, 

directs the pen 

that draws its littoral across the page. 

 

Your voice, sickle of the echo, 

is the reverberation of my voice against the wall, 

and in your mirrored flesh 

I see myself look thru a thousand Arguses, 

thru me, extended seconds. 

 

But the slightest sound drives you to flight, 

and I see you leave 

thru the door of the book 

or thru the atlas of the ceiling, 

thru the chessboard of the floor, 

or the page of the mirror, 

and you leave me 

heart stopped, wordless and faceless, 

stripped like a naked man of all my masks 

in the middle of the staring street. 

 

[Xavier Villaurrutia {1903-1950} 'Poetry', from Homesick for Death: Dead nocturnes—The complete poems of Xavier Villaurrutia]

good food is the foundation of genuine happiness

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🌮 What’s Your Cinco de Mayo Mexican Meal? 🫔

 

Cinco de Mayo is as good an excuse as any to celebrate with good food, bright flavors, and maybe a little spice. But everyone approaches the table a little differently—some crave bold heat, some prefer comfort, some love a lively spread to share. Take this quiz to discover which Mexican meal best matches your personality.  

---

1. When you’re hungry and deciding what to eat, you usually: 

    A. Go straight for something bold and flavorful. 

    B. Choose a reliable favorite you know you’ll love. 

    C. Order several things so you can try a bit of everything. 

    D. Pick something comforting and satisfying. 

 

2. Your ideal dinner atmosphere is: 

    A. Lively and energetic. 

    B. Casual and relaxed. 

    C. Social and full of conversation. 

    D. Cozy and satisfying. 

 

3. Pick a flavor profile: 

    A. Spicy and vibrant. 

    B. Fresh and bright. 

    C. Bold and varied. 

    D. Rich and comforting. 

 

4. When cooking or ordering food, you tend to: 

    A. Seek out the most exciting option. 

    B. Keep it simple and fresh. 

    C. Turn the meal into a shared experience. 

    D. Look for something hearty. 

 

5. Your friends would say your personality is: 

    A. Bold and energetic. 

    B. Easygoing and refreshing. 

    C. Social and generous. 

    D. Warm and dependable. 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is from Auguste Escoffier]

calamity has already been and gone, its arrows still clean

I do not wake up buzzing with happiness. 

In fact my bed is full of wasps. I have been stung 

 

everywhere tender. I have not had fun 

in a long time, maybe in ever. 

 

My blessings do not run over and also 

I have none. My sink is leaking. 

 

My sink is running over with wasps. 

They have carried off all my sugar. 

 

See how poor I am, how luckless, how unshapely 

my head from which no hair falls in waves. 

 

I have no children to speak of, 

no robes sewn with threads of gold, 

 

no robes. I am a patch of dirt, a glass 

of vinegar, a bony goose among fat others. 

 

I am an unworthy enemy, small and mean. 

In fact calamity has already been and gone, 

 

its arrows still clean. I do not need to play dead. 

Not even death would want to play with me. 

 

 [Claire Wahmanholm, ‘If Anyone Asks’, from Meltwater: Poems]

I won't pretend I haven't screamed in the kitchen

    If you like podcasts, I recommend The Dish Podcast (by Waitrose), hosted by Nick Grimshaw and Angela Hartnett. At the end of a lighthearted interview with someone famous—conducted while they eat a terrific meal—Nick and Ange ask a series of "rapid-fire" questions. 

    What follows are more of those questions, adapted to American culture and customs. My original post in what may become a series, from last January, is here. 

 

poached egg

What is the scariest way to eat eggs? 

    poached. Eating eggs is an act of willful ignorance for me. In order to turn my brain off, I need to accept it as something less than what it really is; I can't look at the original format and think it's something that I'm supposed to consume. 

What is your favorite pie? 

    peach melba. I love fruit, and raspberries and peaches are among my favorites on their own. Together, they are tart-sweet and extra flavorful. When made properly, a good pie can keep them relatively intact, so the result is not a swirly pinkish mixture but two great fruits coexisting in a crispy crust.  

What is your favorite chocolate bar? 

Orecchiette

    Milky Way. Not usually my first choice if I'm buying a candy bar (which so rarely happens, anyway) but the one I enjoy the most when offered as an option.  

What is your favorite pasta shape name for a cat? 

    Fedelini (it's a very thin spaghetti, whose name means "little faithful ones") or Orecchiette (meaning "little ears") or maybe Pansotti ("big bellies")

What is your favorite drink to use to splash in someone’s face to show disgust? 

    purple Jesus 

When you’re away from home, what dish do you miss? 

grilled cheese

     hamburger gravy & mashed potatoes. It is the flavor of my childhood, an absolute and immediate comfort food, and just difficult-enough to make in small quantity that I rarely cook it just for myself. 

What is your favorite dish from childhood? 

    besides the above? Grilled cheese. 

What is your favorite toast topping? 

     on especially good bread, butter only. On regular bread, low-sugar strawberry jam.

What is your go-to pizza order? 

    Canadian bacon, fresh tomato, and either green pepper or green olive 

maple long johns

What is your favorite donut? 

    maple-frosted long johns, from the local place 

What is your favorite thing to barbecue? 

    I don't actually barbecue things, on my own. I've got a policy about working with fire, which is that I don't.

    I like things that have been grilled, but I'm super picky about it. Nothing charred, nothing stuffed, nothing with a bone. No barbecued hamburgers. I prefer my steak pan-fried in butter.

    After all that: I would choose a plain brat, on a white bun, with mustard and ketchup.     

 

[the title quotation is from Angela Hartnett]

love and fear, grief and joy

Within the circles of our lives 

we dance the circles of the years, 

the circles of the seasons 

within the circles of the years, 

the cycles of the moon 

within the circles of the seasons, 

the circles of our reasons 

within the cycles of the moon. 

 

Again, again we come and go 

changed, changing. Hands 

join, unjoin in love and fear, 

grief and joy. The circles turn, 

each giving into each, into all. 

Only music keeps us here, 

 

each by all the others held. 

In the hold of hands and eyes 

we turn in pairs, that joining 

joining each to all again. 

 

And then we turn aside, alone, 

out of the sunlight gone 

 

into the darker circles of return. 

 

[Wendell Berry {1934- } 'Song (4)', from New Collected Poems]

as full of spirit as the month of May, and as gorgeous as the sun in Midsummer

More accurate than a Buzzfeed quiz; less accurate than your therapist’s raised eyebrow.🤨

 

🌼 How Should You Celebrate May Day? 🎀

 

May Day has worn many hats over the centuries—spring festival, workers’ holiday, excuse for flowers and dancing, or simply a moment to step outside and welcome the turning of the season. But the best way to celebrate depends on your personality. Take this quiz to discover your ideal way to mark the arrival of May.  

---

1. The first truly warm day of spring makes you want to: 

    A. Head outside and wander somewhere green. 

    B. Invite friends over for something festive. 

    C. Start a creative project inspired by the season. 

    D. Sit quietly and soak in the sunshine. 

 

2. Pick a springtime scene: 

    A. Wildflowers along a quiet trail. 

    B. Music, laughter, and a gathering in a park. 

    C. Craft tables covered in ribbons and blossoms. 

    D. A porch chair and a gentle breeze. 

 

3. Your approach to seasonal traditions is: 

    A. Get outside and celebrate nature. 

    B. Share them with friends and community. 

    C. Make something beautiful to mark the moment. 

    D. Enjoy them quietly in your own way. 

 

4. Your spring soundtrack would be: 

    A. Birds and rustling leaves. 

    B. Folk music and cheerful chatter. 

    C. Something whimsical and creative. 

    D. Quiet, peaceful silence. 

 

5. Your ideal May Day memory would involve: 

    A. Discovering a beautiful place outdoors. 

    B. Laughing with friends under blooming trees. 

    C. Creating something colorful and joyful. 

    D. A calm moment that feels quietly perfect. 

 

Results in the comments! 

 

[the title quotation is by William Shakespeare, from The Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene 2]

the name of a faraway city

Why make? I used to wonder. 

Is it something you have to keep on 

making, like beds or dinner, stir it up 

 

or smooth it down? Sex, I understood, 

an easy creaking on the upholstered 

springs of a man you meet in passing. 

 

You have sex, you don't have to make it, 

it makes you—rise and fall and rise again, 

each time, each man, new. But love? 

 

It could be the name of a faraway 

city, end of a tired journey you take 

with some husband, your bodies chugging 

 

their way up the mountain, glimpsing 

the city lights and thinking, If we can 

keep it up, we'll make Love by morning. 

 

I guess it was fun for somebody, 

my grandmother once said. By then I

was safely married and had earned 

 

the right to ask, there in the kitchen 

beside the nodding aunts. Her answer 

made me sad. In her time, love meant making 

 

babies, and if I had borne twelve 

and buried three, I might see my husband 

as a gun shooting off inside me, each bullet 

 

another year gone. But sex wasn't my question. 

Love was the ghost whose shape kept 

shifting. For us, it did not mean babies, 

 

those plump incarnations the minister 

had promised—flesh of our flesh, 

our increase. Without them, and twenty years 

 

gone, what have we to show 

for the planing and hammering, bone 

against bone, chisel and wedge, 

 

the tedious sanding of night 

into morning—when we rise, stretch, 

shake out the years, lean back, 

 

and see what we've made: no ghost, 

it's a house. Sunlight through the window 

glazing our faces, patina of dust 

 

on our arms. At every axis, mortise 

and tenon couple and hold. Doors 

swing heavy on their hinges. 

 

 [Rebecca McClanahan 'Making Love', from The Best American Poetry 1998; John Hollander, ed.]