Jeeves, of course, is a gentleman’s gentlemen, not a butler, but if the call comes, he can buttle with the best of them

1 If you had to have one job that you have had previously, which one would you want again? 

    if it were possible to go back to 'the way it used to be', I would love to be the lead cataloger at the public library where I worked from the end of law school until I moved up nort'. I loved the challenge of locating an item in its proper place. Prioritizing in a sometimes overwhelming environment is one of my strengths. I like to work on my own, without requiring a lot of direct supervision. Cataloging appeals to my sense of order, self-discipline, and creativity. (Those who've survived the battle between 800s and FIC, or 300s v. 600s might appreciate that latter point.) Most basically, though, I loved being surrounded by books, and the people who are drawn to them. 

 

2 If you could look through anyone's personnel file at work, whose would you pick? 

    the nature of my current role makes this question hilariously inappropriate. I would like to keep getting to know Blackbeard and Lord Farquaad, but not to the detriment of my continued employment. I'll wait for them to share what they want me to know. 

 

3 If you could train a pet bird to do one thing for you and always return home again, what would it do?

    oooh, I would love a messenger pigeon who could run to the Kwik-E-Mart for milk, bread, bananas and/or eggs. It would need to be an extremely strong pigeon with good interpersonal skills.

 

4 If you could have had one person in your life be more candid than they were (or are), who would it be?

    my former spouse, H. Although compared to me he seemed a gregarious extrovert with chatterbox tendencies, at his base he's pretty quiet, and also prone to withholding comment when sharing might risk conflict. That combo meant that our conversations were sometimes more polite or superficial than they were constructive or even meaningful. We'd both have benefited if either of us had been more candid.

 

5 If you could completely remove someone's vocal cords for a year, whose would they be? 

    hmm. How to say this without risk of being deported? 

    And why for just a year?! 

 

6 If you could ensure something about Heaven besides its existence, what would it be? 

    • a generalized mute button

    • hot & cold tea on tap 

    • quiet space to be still

    • loved ones close by, especially kitties I have love and lost too soon

    • lots of soft green grass for running barefoot (with no allergic reaction)

    • for that matter—no more headaches 

    • an actual monkey butler 

 

7 If you had to name the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally, what would it be? 

     I've been a bad friend to some people who were good friends to me. Regardless of the reason or circumstances around it, that was a terrible thing to do. My regret can't change anything, but does result in trying to do better.

 

 [from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is by P.G. Wodehouse, from Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves]