5.03.2004

Heh, a List!

It's Pet-Peevy day. Join me.

1. The indiscriminate and egregious use of the word "gentleman." People, that word implies integrity, courtesy, and chivalry. It's NOT a synonym for "man." Don't use it when you mean "man." When you mean "man," use the word "man."

2. Driving 5 mph under the speed limit on a cloudless day on dry pavement at 8:45 in the morning. Guess what? The crazy-looking person behind you is late for work! Drive, or get the fuck out of the way. No more of this namby-pamby half-assed maybe I'll drive if I get around to it shit.

3. This is a gimme, but sometimes it has to be said: People who want something - a favor, say - and who can't handle the interchange correctly. I have a coworker who does this in one of three ways:
a) "You probably don't know this..."
b) "You might not be able to do this, but..."
c) [favor given] [door closes behind her] [Me]: "You're fucking welcome!" That phrasing comes in response to her inability/reluctance/unwillingness to say Thank you, ever, for anything I do for her.
Amazing as it may seem, it makes me unenthusiastic about going out of my way for her.

4. RPL's jackass attitude about sending (that is, not sending) materials that they've agreed to share with other libraries.

5. DPL's moronic attitude about cataloging. [knock, knock] Hello? Anybody home? Fill in your fucking 300 fields, people. "h[large print]" isn't going to add itself to LP records! Believe it or not, the rest of us can tell when you've done something stupid, so stop doing it. (Or, more specifically, start doing the right things!)

6. Patron requests. Why do people ask for the most esoteric stuff all the time? I can't tell you how many freakin' pro-Bush and anti-Bush books we've had to buy because some idiot had to have them right now. Have those books changed their lives? I certainly hope so, because they've cost us a ton of money and shelf space.

7. Book budgets. Don't even get me started. The fiscal year began on Saturday and we're already a month over budget. Swell.

8. People who jog on really busy streets during really busy times of day with no concern for the fact that they are literally in mortal danger. Driving on Wolf Road in the big city on Saturday evening around 5:30. Two lanes in each direction, full of cars. Jogger, probably 2' from the curb in the lane I was in. Where exactly am I supposed to go? Legally, she's supposed to be given a lane of clearance by any car that meets her, so everyone in the lane she was in should've (legally) either stopped completely or pulled into the left lane, which was (practically-speaking) impossible. Seriously, what should we have done?

9. Drivers who, when something's in their lane, swerve into another lane when they could slow down for a second to avoid the thing in their lane. I know it's less convenient to decrease your fucking speed and I realize that wherever you're going is vital to YOU and that's all that matters, but this is MY lane, not the extra one that's here in case you need or want it, so don't just take it when you feel like it, jackass.

10. Drivers who slow down or swerve to avoid birds flying past their cars. (I'm talking about small birds like robins, not potentially dangerous fowl on the order of geese.) It's a bird! It ain't gonna kill you. And if you kill it, it isn't going to feel it. And if you hit my car because you swerve, or if I hit your car because you slam on the brakes to avoid a goddamned bird, not only will I sue you for everything you think you're worth, but I'll also beat you until you can't see a bird again. Or until all you see are birds.

This venting is really fun. I should do this more often.

11. Meetings. No point. Some people come to yap, some people come to appear helpful, and some people come because they're forced. Email is the only effective way to communicate.

12. Baseball. Did anyone see the Cubs games on Friday and Sunday? Why is Dusty Baker taking the Jim Riggleman approach to managing, i.e. leave the relief pitcher out there to fail when it's clear within 2 pitches that he doesn't have it? I've never seen anything in baseball as emotionally painful as watching Kyle Farnsworth throw ball after ball last night - it was as if he was pitching blindfolded and wearing mittens. Sometimes they don't have it, and when they don't have it, they shouldn't be abandoned. Particularly in St. Louis. Particularly in a game in which the starting pitcher threw that well. It's games like that that make serious fans not want to watch games.

13. Cold spring weather. Boo.

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