Mondays. Often the time when we take a few moments to contemplate the weekend past and the week to come. What does it all mean? Why do we do it? Why do we expend so much energy on stuff that doesn't matter, missing out on the those things that--and people who--do?
Saturday was another thesis editing day. I cannot express how frustrating this is. Yes, I care too much about it. Yes, I take every little comment and criticism personally. But these changes are mandatory unless there's justification to not make them, so if I feel strongly about them, I need to provide that justification. That means I spend the majority of my so-called editing time making photocopies of and highlighting articles (to prove that funky punctuation didn't sprout forth from my imagination but is English English or Irish English rather than American English, for example), and re-typing whole sections of Turabian just so I don't have to change a semicolon into a colon. Why am I teaching grammar to someone with a Ph.D. in English?! And why am I doing it when there are 33 days until this fucking document has to be signed, copied and ready to be bound in order for me to finally collect this stupid degree? Sigh. I'm on page 57. Only about 46 pages to go.
Later on Saturday, when I could not stand one more minute of wanting to scream over my thesis, I drove around the metropolis running errands. Picked up a package that had been delivered to the library: a huge box of clothes that I'd ordered in a moment of weakness. I knew I wouldn't want to keep all of it, but I was surprised by what I did keep. Some frightfully professional-leaning pants--the professionalism mitigated by the flowy, almost ethereal quality of the linen. A couple of cotton lawn shirts (camisoles required). A weird, sort of Caribbean-like embroidered blouse with 3/4 sleeves. (Weird because it's not something I would've chosen two months ago but it looked great on.) Also picked up a couple of gift certificates at the salon and...more OPI lacquer (it was on sale) in Grape Wall of China. Not only do I love the name, but it's a very cool color. (If you click the link, it's not the color in the bottle, but the stripe below.) Drove around for an hour or so afterward. Nice day. Cool.
Saturday night, dealt with some photography issues. The learning curve with a digital camera is extensive. Main problem: setting the image size to a smaller one, and the image quality to a higher one. I just need to read the manual. Also filed a pile of old photographs from my sophomore and junior years in college in an album. It was a little depressing, very hilarious, somewhat melancholy, and totally weird. I haven't seen some of the people pictured in a dozen years, and I miss some of them more than I could possibly explain. I found the one photograph that I ever took of my friend Traci J. ...and it's no wonder I never framed it. She's passed out on a disgusting-looking couch at the Parking Lot House, wearing the micro-est of mini-skirts. I'll just leave it at that.
Sunday. Shopping in the megalopolis with T. Lots of talking since we haven't seen each other in way too long. Went to J.Jill to get another white t-shirt like the one that I absolutely love. They sold out. (Grrrr.) Picked up a couple of things at the VS Semi-Annual sale. (Like they don't have "sales" all the time at which their things are only expensive, instead of ferociously expensive. I'll pay it and not complain. But the next time someone asks me if I have an Angels card I'm ripping their head off and bowling it out the door.) Sandals. My weird hair conditioner, which isn't available closer than 30 miles to home. Seeking an AC adapter for the camera, but couldn't come up with one. Another bottle of OPI - Aphrodite's Pink Nightie. Lunch at Friday's, before which I was dead-on checked out by a guy walking out with his wife and kid. It was hilarious and ego-boosting and sad at the same time. (He was unbelievably gorgeous, which helped with the second of those attributes, to be sure.)
Last night, wanting to work on a project but not able to devote the time that I wanted to it. Feeling pulled in different directions. Knowing what I want to do, but it's not always what I should do. I don't work well under those circumstances. Trying to maintain perspective.
And it's raining today. Doesn't it always rain on Mondays?
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