7.20.2005

"power couples"

Comcast is my ISP. They have a ridiculously content-heavy front page. Today's first-to-load is a story about Power Couples, as defined by Comcast, of course:

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Vince Vaughan & Jennifer Aniston
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes
Jesse James & Sandra Bullock


My observations:
1. Brad Pitt is too obvious to be good-looking. Never, not under the influence of the strongest alcohol, the loopiest drug, the most exquisite sex, or having my head cracked open with a rock, could I forget that he's Brad Pitt. His Brad-Pitt-ness has ruined every time I've seen him act. I can't believe it would be any different in person.
2. Angelina Jolie = icky.
3. Vince Vaughn is, in my opinion, very handsome. He also seems crass, irritating, and far too jovial for his own good. Hence he would have been my ideal date in college.
4. Jennifer Aniston isn't stupid enough to be in a relationship already, so soon after she & Bozo #1 split up.
5. Tom Cruise is a disturbing, freakish, overgrown adolescent. He'd be well-served to develop a substance abuse problem, or go to some quiet, faraway place to "find himself." He is in grave danger of becoming passe.
6. Katie Holmes? Who's that?
7. Jesse James. Hmm. When I began this post, I had to go back to the original article and look up his name, for fear of repeatedly, inadvertently, referring to him as "that tattooed guy that Sandra Ballcock married." I do realize that he has a name (such as it is--come on, Mr. & Mrs. James, it's a bit derivative, isn't it?!) and an occupation (he's the foreman on Monster Garage. Hunh. What does one put on one's resume? "Foreman"? or "Monster Garage Master"? Or perhaps just "Celebrity"?). And a boatload of tattoos. I'm not against tattoos. Far from it--I think they're pretty sexy. But.... He's who, again?
8. Sandra Bullock. I like her. I think she's a good (note, "good", not "fabu" or "great" or "skilled" or "extraordinary"...) actress. I have liked several of her movies. However, some of my best friends think she sucks rotten fruit. That's colored my view of her to some extent.

So, what of it?

I just awoke from an unexpected nap. I'd slept, conked out on my gloriously (and yet far-too-) comfortable bed, from 6:00 until I began writing this around 9:20. The first thing that I thought when I saw that group of 8 highly-photogenic individuals, lumped into the category of "power couples"?

The only ones I'd go out with are Vaughn and James. And, if I had to make a choice, I'd refuse to marry James because he doesn't look like he could hold a job. Vince Vaughn wins by decision.

I clearly need more sleep in the nighttime.

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