they'll...take you away forever

Do you know how it is --
Do you know what you're supposed to do
to meet a mermaid?
You go down to the bottom of the sea...
where the water isn't even blue anymore,
where the sky is only a memory...
and you float there in silence.
And you stay there...
and you decide that you'll die for them.
Only then do they start coming out.
They come and they greet you
and they judge the love
you have for them.
If it's sincere...
If it's pure...
They'll be with you
and take you away forever.

    The above is the "tell me a story" quote from The Big Blue, where Jacques and Johana are talking on the phone--her sitting in her windowsill in New York, facing East, him sitting in his windowsill in Greece, facing West--when they've each finally realized that they don't want to live apart.
    I watched that movie on Friday night. I was alone, I was sadder than I've been a long time, if not ever. I'd seen it before; Nick and I watched the first 3/5 of it together several months ago. It is a beautiful movie about which I am pulled in two directions. Put simply, I am enthralled by it (the cinematography is lush and gorgeous; the acting is superb; the actors are, by and large, amazing; and anyway, any film with Jean Reno would be difficult for me to resist) and I utterly detest it. The repulsion I feel is not the fault of the film, though, but rather something within me. The character of Jacques, played by Jean-Marc Barr, cuts too close to someone I know well. He is 'not of this world'. The problem is that he pretends so skillfully. Does he want to be with her, really? Or does he simply take what he wants (and may need), knowing all along--or not, even?--that in the end, he will go his own way?
    The film breaks me. There are some unforgettable scenes (Roberto squeaks the bird and asks Enzo, "What will you do with the money?" "I will get a new paint-job." "With $10,000?" "Have them wax it, too."), some breathtaking shots (Jacques and Johana in Italy, when she sits in front of him with her arm back, stroking his neck, and he tips his head forward, resting his chin on her shoulder--it is the picture of connection!). Amazing dialogue ("Bring me the Frenchman, Jacques Mayol.") Jean Reno as Enzo, laughing at Uncle Louis in Jacques' apartment: I know that it was a genuine laugh, spontaneous and deeply felt. "I am not as deaf as you are blind. You take care of your eyes, and I will take care of my ears." Hilarious.
    But at the end, I am bereft, a pool of sadness, nothing more and nothing less than Johana, holding the cord while her love glides away. Forever.