clearly not 80

1. Do you drink milk? Yes - a gallon every 5 days or so.
2. Do you prefer apple or orange juice? Orange, by far.
3. Do your computer speakers plug into the back of your computer or your monitor? My home computer has internal speakers. At work, they plug into the CPU.
4. How many clocks are in your house? As such: 3. In other devices: 2.
5. How about the room you're in right now? 1
6. How often do you check your email? gmail alerts me when I have a new one. I check the yahoo accounts every day or two. Work email varies, depending on what I'm doing. Today I probably checked it 3 times.
7. Do you live by yourself? Quite so.
8. What's the most you've ever won on a scratcher? $100
9. What's the nearest food to you right now? There is no food in the office. All the food in the fridge (which is: beer, hard-boiled eggs, Coke & yogurt) is equidistant.
10. Do you own any fish? If so, are they docile or aggressive? Nope.
11. Do you know what a plecostamus is? Sure. My ex-BF and I "liberated" an 8-inch specimen from my ex-spouse a couple of Thanksgivings ago.
12. Have you ever watched a sunrise rise over the ocean? No. Sigh
13. How many messages are in your inbox/outbox on your phone? Inbox: 58; outbox: 53
14. Do you prefer wooden or mechanical pencils? Mechanical
15. What's on your feet right now? OPI "Black Cherry Chutney" and a silver toe ring
16. Do you have one best friend, or a lot of good friends? I have a small number of very good friends.
17. Snapple or SoBe? I think I could drink Snapple without gagging.
18. Where do you buy birthday/Christmas cards? Hallmark
19. What's your take on "puppy love"? Good for puppies
20. Do you enjoy breaking hearts? Only my own
21. What date/time was the last text you received? 04/29 13:15
22. When's the last time you sent a text? 04/29 13:18
23. Do you believe there is only one "right" religion? Yes - what's right for me is right for me. What's right for someone else is right for them. That's all.
24. What's your favorite planet, besides this one? Uranus. It's just too perfect.
25. Does anything special happen for you on May 15th? Not that I'm aware of.
26. If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be? Andy
27. What type of Internet connection do you use? Cable
28. Do you vote for city-related issues? Yes, in the bustling burg in which I live. I've voted in every election for which I was eligible since I turned 18.
29. Do you say 'y'all', 'you guys', 'dudes', or something else when addressing more than one friend at a time? y'all, only. "You guys" refers to multiple MALES only. And, for me, "dude" has no plural.
30. Would you want marijuana legalized if it meant alcohol would be illegal? I don't think so, not that this isn't a ridiculous fucking question. Seriously - never.
31. Have you ever been to the Vatican? Nope. No interest whatsoever.
32. Have you ever waved at someone who was waving at you, only to realize they were waving at someone else? Yup
33. What did you do? Scratched my head or something.
34. How many remote controls are in your house, and what are they for? 1 TV, 1 DVD player/VCR, and 1 for each of the iPod docks.
35. Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone? My cell phone is my house phone.
36. How many 2008 calendars are in your house? 1
37. Do you take baths or showers? 90% of the time, showers.
38. Do you take quizzes in magazines? I have.
39. Do you buy bananas when they're green so they won't go bad as fast? Ick. No. I would rather eat a banana that's too "done" than one that's not done enough.
40. Do you do anything for a bad sunburn? Yes. I curse the gods, take cool showers, use Noxema for a couple of days and then slather on enough lotion that I'm goopy. They usually pass reasonably quickly.
41. Do use mouthwash? If so, what kind? Yup. My dentist recommends Crest Pro-Health, and I've been using it since my last cleaning. It has made a significant difference in the way my mouth feels. (In a good way, of course.)
42. What noises reach your ears right now? Barenaked Ladies, "Pinch Me", from 'C2'. And traffic. And my crazy-long fingernails on the keyboard.
43. Have you ever been to Grand Canyon? Nope
44. Have you ever been to a national park (i.e. Yellowstone, Yosemite, etc)? Don't think so. Packaged nature is abhorrent to me.
45. How old are your parents? 62 and 63.
46. Does anyone have the keys to your heart? God knows. If anyone else can answer this, would you mind cluing me in?
47. Have you ever had to run for your life? Only metaphorically.
48. Is there an empty place in your heart? Yes
49. Have you ever been to a family reunion? My initial reaction to this was, "Duh?!" But then I realized that not everyone grew up in the same county as all but 3 of their 42 first cousins (and their 13 sets of aunts and uncles, and their grandparents on each side).... We all got together several times a year, for most holidays.
50. Have you ever scraped a pipe? Um, no?
51. Do you prepare soup in the microwave or on the stove? Usually on the stove.
52. Is it sunny out right now? Nope. weather.com is claiming "Isolated T-Storms and 63°F" but it's still clear and warm enough to have the windows open.
53. Do you have a catnip plant in your house? No. I never could make that stuff grow.
54. Do you use surge protectors? Yes. As was recently remarked upon, I have 6 in my 5-room apartment.
55. Do you pay attention to the stock market? Not at all.
56. Do you take precautions against contracting West Nile Virus? Yes. I only sunbathe on the East bank.
57. Do you meditate? I think so.
58. If your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept them back into your life? (a) if I had one, (b) if he wasn't already "owned" by someone else, (c) if he cheated on me, and (d) if he profusely apologized, then I would so clearly be someone else that I really cannot even attempt to answer this question.
59. Do you eat carbs? At first I thought this said "crabs." Ahem. Anyway: yes.
60. If you could be one animal for the rest of your life, what would you pick? Domestic cat.
61. Are you the kind of person who will search the entire room for the remote because you don't want to change it on the TV? No. My remotes live on the plant stand next to the TV. I can't lose them.
62. Has your insurance gone up because of something on your DMV record? Nope
63. Have you ever gone to work/school drunk? Yup
64. Is it all about YOU? Not hardly
65. Are you allergic to any insect bites? No, but neither am I fond of them.
66. Are you allergic to any kind of food/medicine? Yes. I am allergic to all narcotics.
67. Have you ever swam in Lake Tahoe? Is it "swam" or "swum"? Regardless: no.
68. If you could hug one person right now, who would it be? Ulysses
69. Are you in debt? Up to the tippytop of my Mohawk.
70. When you say "often" do you pronounce the "T" or leave it silent? Never
71. If you could have a plane ticket to anywhere right now, where would you want it to be to? OKC
72. Do you know who Tom Leykis is? No, and I'm not sufficiently motivated to try to remedy that.
73. How many pairs of socks do you own? 20?
74. How often do you do laundry? Every week or two. Depends.
75. What do you think of Arnold Schwarzenegger? He's a muscle-headed moron.
76. Do you own your own car, pink slip and all? Doy. Yes.
77. Has anyone ever given you jewelry on Christmas? Yes. Usually not a great option.
78. Do you count down the days till anything? Sure.
79. Did you like this survey? meh. It passed the time.

[from The Cat, who called it 80 Questions]