how am I supposed to work, with alternatives like this?

1. Do you like having your picture taken? Nope. I'm only really comfortable on the other side of the camera.
2. Have you ever done a photo shoot, professional or non? Yes, several. I "modeled" during college and have been intensively photographed for various reasons since then.
3. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why? Miami. I want to relax, see the water, and be consistently warm for a week.
4. Who would you take with you on this little adventure? No one. Alone sounds lovely.
5. What would you say is the most daring thing to do in a lifetime? Be true in all things.
6. Would you ever do that? "Ever"? Yes. Consistently? That's tougher.
7. Have you ever done crossword puzzles? Yes
8. Ever actually completed one? Yes
9. Pick up the closest book and write a sentence at random from it. "And can we choose but further exclaim--if ever[y] hapless African, kidnapped into slavery by one gang of ruffians, and then stolen by another, and by them attempted to be smuggled into our country as slaves, and by a fortunate casualty brought within our jurisdiction and the beneficent operation of our emancipating laws, was entitled to the blessing of freedom, and the right of being transported under our national protection to his native land, so was every individual African found by Captain Jackson on board of the Antelope, and brought within the jurisdiction of this Federal Union." [from Argument of John Quincy Adams, before the Supreme Court of the United States, in the case of the United States, Appellants, vs. Cinque, and others, Africans, captured in the schooner Amistad, by Lieut. Gedney....]
10. Do the same with a lyric from either a CD or the radio. She began to breathe
    To breathe at the thought of such freedom
    Stood and whispered to her child: belong
    She held the child and whispered
    With calm, calm: belong
11. Have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams? Hell, yeah. All the time.
12. Would you put up posters in your room? No, thanks. I prefer the art print and photographs that are in there currently.
13. Can you sing? I can, but I most often choose to forgo it.
14. Do you ever sing to yourself while doing everyday tasks? God, no. However, let me introduce you to my office-mate....
15. What's your favorite color of Post-It note? Whatever. We use yellow ones at work, so - anything but yellow.
16. How many cassette tapes do you own? One? But I just gave it to my dad to have him burn a CD of it.
17. How many CDs do you own? Around 600.
18. Ever bought a CD for just one song? Yup. Most recently, "One Thing" by Finger Eleven. I think the rest of it - to paraphrase some meme or other - sucks mad balls.
19. What would your perfect day consist of? Adventure. That's what makes it perfect - the not knowing.
20. Have you ever lied to get off the phone or out of talking to someone online. Uh, yeah. If there's a person present who's not done that, I'm unworthy of you.
21. Have you ever written a survey? Not since I was in elementary school and to make "slam-books" was the thing.
22. How about a song? Nope
23. Or maybe a poem? Just yesterday.
24. Is your VCR flashing 12:00 all the time? No. That would drive me mad. Fortunately, my VCR/DVD player has no clock.
25. Do you read your horoscope? Yes, in various versions.
26. If so, do you base your day on it? Not hardly.
27. Would you rather chew gum or use mouthwash and why? Mouthwash, because it works better for me. However, when in need, gum is a decent alternative.
28. Do you floss? Yup, though not daily. (Sorry.)
29. Are you addicted to Napster like me? No, but I access iTunes about 10 times a week.
30. How many times a year are you sick? Enough to miss work - probably 2 or 3. With a headache and wanting to be sent home but not leaving on my own - probably 15.
31. Ever been in an airplane? Yes, but not since OK.
32. If so, where were you flying to? Er, back from OKC to ORD.
33. What radio station to you listen to most? I never, ever listen to the radio except for Cubs games (AM 720, WGN).
34. What color are your shoes? They're sort of a dusty tan (suede sandals).
35. Was Fuzzy Wuzzy a bear? Yeah, but he had no hair. Which is unfortunate.
36. Do you know how to play dominoes? Yes
37. Or do you think I just mean pizza by that? No, because "Dominos" is a registered trademark, and the previous question did not include the ® mark.
38. Speaking of pizza, what's your favorite kind? (toppings and/or place to get it from): World Famous, thin crust with Canadian bacon. Or Chicago Style from Gino's East.
39. What color are your eyes? Somewhere between 87CEFA and 4682B4, on this chart. The deeper the blue, the more my head hurts - in case you're keeping track.
40. How many surveys have you filled out this lifetime? Way over my allotment.
41. Describe your bedroom; include all details. Door to foyer on East wall. 5 windows (4 crank out), two on North wall and 3 on West wall. Double accordion closet on South wall. 3 maple Elements bookcases from Crate & Barrel. 1 Asian-inspired 9-drawer chest. 2 Hemnes bedside tables from fucking Ikea. Queen bed, with the head in the NW corner of the room, usually covered in white (with a white skirt). Room-darkening panels on each window, doing jack-shit to keep the light out at full dark outside. (The neighboring building has external fixtures.)
42. Name one person your life is made better by. Rob
43. Would you or have you ever shaven your head? I haven't, but I've thought about it and I would do it.
44. How about someone else's? I don't think I'd really want to, but I would if asked for a good reason.
45. Can you do math with ease? Depends on the complexity of the math. I'm not terribly numerically oriented.
46. What size is your computer screen? 19 inches
47. If you could only talk to one person online who would that be? The Cat. She makes me laugh and think, and she comforts me when I am sad, and she is angry on my behalf, and she knows more about my job than I *ever* will. And we speak the same pigeon-English language.
48. Name your favorite type of music and why. Indescribable except to call it "my" music.
49. Are you a vegetarian? [cough] - sorry, I just choked on my bacon a little.
50. How about an aspiring actor/actress? No thanks.
51. What famous person dead or alive would you interview if you had the chance? I would love to have a conversation (over a pint or 10) with Eamon de Valera.
52. Which movie can you watch and say the lines along with the actors? Young Frankenstein, Trust, Monty Python & the Holy Grail, The Breakfast Club, Shakespeare in Love...the list could go on forever!
53. Name one of your passions in life. Passion
54. What's your least favorite time of day. 10:16 PM
55. Who's your favorite member in a band, singer, guitar, bass, drummer, and why. All else being equal, I've always been attracted to drummers. That being said, a good bass line in a rock song is difficult to resist.
56. Do you use hairspray or gel? Hairspray nearly every day, and gel maybe once a month or less.
57. Describe your favorite meal. BLT, no tomato/no mayo, on white toast, seasoned french fries (pref. curly), Hot fudge shake.
58. What color is the inside of your head when you close your eyes. Sort of a golden yellow - amazing!
59. Ever listen to classical music? Yup. Probably not as often as I should, given my temper.
60. Have you ever said "lol" in real life without thinking about it. No.
61. Do you find you use internet language when writing notes IRL? I have been known to abbreviate "by the way" once or twice, but that's about it.
62. What songs would be on your ideal CD? (unlimited) I could not possibly answer this. One of my consuming passions is making the perfect mix CDs for my friends. There is no one generic ideal.
63. Say one thing you've learned today: OCLC does not consider field 505 to be a substitute for 74x, and so it should not be so used.
64. What is the best present you've ever given someone else? I gave my former spouse a beverage trip around the world for college graduation. We drank Margaritas and brandy and great beer and Ouzo and God knows what else, and then had the glasses to remember it by. It was fun, and he loved it.
65. What is the best present someone else has ever given to you? My most treasured gift is a small square pink card, from Johnnie
66. So hey, what's your full name. A-- -A-- --C----- ----E----
67. Describe yourself while drunk. Partially conscious, lighter, brilliant, vociferous, obnoxious, extroverted, moody, pink.
68. How big are the windows in your house? Fucking huge. There are 12, and all but the 2 in the kitchen are 55 inches high. That makes for about 0 wall space in 3 rooms.
69. Do you wear a watch? Not unless I'm taking a standardized test. Which would be, oh, never.
70. What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done with someone else? Depends on your definition of "kinky."
71. What's the largest age difference between you and someone you've dated? Depends on your definition of "dated." When I was 17, I had a boyfriend for a very brief period who, it turns out, was 27. (That was the end of that.) I have, at a time when both parties were legally authorized to do so, also spent a little time with someone who's roughly {mumblefifteenmumble} years younger than me.
72. How many mirrors do you have? Other than the one in the bathroom cabinet, 1.
73. Write one sentence stating what you want people to say about you after you've passed on. "Wow, she's hot for a dead chick."
74. Have you ever sailed? Not deliberately.
75. How fast can you run? That is a good question, and it made me giggle.
76. What do you believe in? Fairies, true love, horoscopes...and grace.
77. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Depends where "out" is. I could do spur of the moment ready in 5 minutes. Ready for dinner at the Ritz = 90 min.
78. Do you shower daily? If not, how often. Roughly
79. What one thing would you change in your life if you had the power to do so? The oil in my car. I hate the oil change place.
80. Describe the ideal superpower and what you would do if you had it. Reading people. I would...read...people.
81. Are candles romantic or a fire hazard? Hee! We were just discussing this in comments. My initial answer: yes. My real answer: romantic.
82. Name something you've done in the last 24 hrs, no matter how big or small. I left work yesterday for a lunch hour, which I very rarely do. After a dozen small irritations, I was returning to the office. About 4 blocks from work, I saw Ulysses, driving toward me. It was a lovely, lovely coincidence.
83. Do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, rings? Toe ring at all times except with one pair of shoes with pointy toes. Necklace nearly every day (lately I've been hanging with the Saints, which should really be photographed one of these days). Anklets with sandals that don't have ankle straps. Bracelets only when I'm dressed up, because I have a tendency to break them during the average day. Earrings every day, in my own bizarre arrangement. Rings almost never.
84. What colors are you wearing right now? Steel gray blouse, tan linen pants.
85. How often do you change the sheets on your bed? Weekly or more often.
86. Have you ever gotten lost? Yes. In more ways than one.
87. What's on your computer desk? At work? My God, this could take forever. From left to right: pile of packing lists; flatbed scanner; note: "UPS - Take Me"; upright scanner; speakers; hand lotion (B&BW Breathe: Romance); tape; quarter (New Mexico); 2 by-the-day calendars; 3 stacked bins; pens/pencils/markers; 2 travel mugs (tea in one, water in the other); scratch paper (in a box marked The Secret Life of the Brain); stack of...God knows what paper; phone; 5 CDs; phone sock; 4 3-ring binders; printer.
88. How many folders are on your desktop at the present moment? 1 folder, 13 overall icons.
89. When your talking do you ever use your hands to do quotation marks in the air when saying certain words? Only sarcastically.
90. Which landmark would you climb if you could? None, thanks. I'm not a climber.
91. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? Sure. Mostly they're crap that does make you feel better for some period of time, but the real work is yours to do.
92. Ever seriously questioned your sanity? Sure. If you haven't, then I'd worry about your sanity.
93. Can you breakdance? Not that I'd try.
94. What's in your fridge right now? Here: ketchup packets, yogurt (about to be eaten), and Coke. And frost.
95. How many people do you live with? Just me. I live above the office of a business, and there are 5 other apartments in the building with 10 total occupants.
96. Have you or would you ever do anything more than kiss in a public area? Yes
97. What is the strangest thing you've ever done? That's not for me to determine. I am pretty damned strange, though.
98. Name an instrument you've never played but would like to. Drums. Animal!
99. Have you ever been on TV or the radio. Not individually.
100. What is the worst thing anyone could ever do to you? Leave.
101. Are you a fast typer? Yes. My office-mate commented on it this morning, in fact.
102. How high have you counted before getting bored? 5. I'm easily bored.
103. Describe how you sleep (i.e., your position and/or how you fall asleep). I sleep on my side most of the night, and it doesn't matter which.
104. Are you straight, bi, gay? Straight
105. Do you ever do something else while on the computer? If so, what. I guess I multitask pretty often, because this seems like an incredibly stupid question.
106. What is the most expensive item you own? My car. Beyond that, a pair of earrings.
107. How about the least expensive? Again: stupid question. A paperclip? A piece of lint?
108. What's your favorite card game to play? Meh. Whatever. The game's not as important as the opportunity.
109. What do you do online? Eat. Sleep. Breakdance.
110. Name some stores you've bought clothes in before. They're really stretching for questions these days, aren't they? Yesterday I looked at some shoes at JJill.com that I really liked until I saw the price. $125, for sandals. Holy fuck.
111. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so, which one? No.
112. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? My Life as a Dog
113. Do people pick up your slang language more than you pick up theirs. I don't know. I seem to coin phrases every now and then, but I'm pretty susceptible, too. (Manana!)
114. Are you easily influenced by other people, or current trends? People I know personally, yes. Trends, no.
115. What makes you unique, in your own opinion? DNA and a smart mouth.
116. Name your worst quality. Pattern recognition.
117. Name your best. Spirit.
118. What would you like to do with your life? Trade it for a roast beef sandwich, a Blue Moon, and a piece of homemade cherry pie.
119. Do you blow dry your hair? Maybe twice a year.
120. How many clocks are in your house? As such: 3.
121. Are they all set on the same time? Yes
122. Have you ever intentionally set a clock ahead or behind the actual time? No, and it totally annoys me when other supposedly-intelligent people do that.
123. What do you think about when you first wake up in the morning? Going back to sleep.
124. Which browser do you use? IE, and Firefox occasionally.
125. Do you bite your nails? No
126. Would you ever leave little notes to your gf/bf? Sure, if there was something pertinent to communicate.
127. Ever been to a farm? Yes
128. Tell me about your dream last night. I went to my HS reunion and didn't recognize anyone, and spent the evening being followed by very old-looking men, trying to get more than a glimpse of a hot waiter. [Hello? Mr. Freud?]
129. Ever seen a shooting star? Yup, I think.
130. Say one thing about yourself you've never told anyone: I am not as smart as you think I am, but I'm a hell of a lot smarter than I get credit for at work.
131. Do your days fly by or seem to last forever? Yes, depending.
132. Have you ever stayed in a fancy high class rich hotel? Yes
133. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? No
134. What in your opinion is the best advertising slogan out there. I can't be troubled to come up with anything. Advertising, by and large, passes me by without a thought.
135. When they start sending rockets to the moon for us civilians, will you be on the list to go? Fuck, no. I'm not so much the traveling type. I like to be home or be there, not halfway in between, and that's a hell of a large halfway.
136. How are you feeling right now? Cool, sleepy, a little nervous.
137. Have you ever written anything on your skin? Sure. I was a 13-y-o girl once (believe it or not).
138. If so, what? Probably some idiot boy's name, over and over, encircled by hearts and daisies.
139. Which website do you frequent most often? Blogger
140. What color are most of your clothes? Blue, black, gray and white.
141. Do you own any plants? Hell, yes. They're everywhere!
142. Are things as bad as they seem? Financially: yes. Militarily: yes. Socially: no. Personally: probably not.
143. Describe the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you. Someone gave me a place to live when I needed it, and will not take anything back in return except for kindness. That is the definition of generosity.
144. Ever looked directly at the sun? Probably? Not memorably.
145. Have you ever made a pin hole camera to watch the eclipse? No. Science = boring.
146. What's your favorite cereal? Frosted Mini Wheats. They must be made with extra crack these days, because I cannot get enough of them.
147. Who do you miss? Today: P and H.
148. Name something you just can't forget no matter how hard you try. The lyrics to Juan Paco Pedro de la Mar.
149. Describe the worst fight you've ever been in whether physical or verbal. I had some inexplicable arguments with K, but they weren't the worst (just hardest to understand). One with Johnnie, I guess, where we both cried so hard that we choked.
150. Say something else about yourself you've never told anyone before. I have chubby fingers. They're way less cute than my toes.

[from The Cat - #168]