sitrep 2.19.10

    Migraine, day 3. Or 4. I don't even know. This beast has been pounding through my brain for so long, it seems like it's always been there. I feel like I'm looking through a dark green haze. No, I don't know what that means. I do know that if I was sleeping a lot more and working a lot less, this would not be the monstrous headache that it is. Barring a miracle, that should be possible sometime around June.

    Had my hair cut on Tuesday. It was the first time I'd seen Lori since December, when she took ~6 weeks off to have her baby. In an odd coincidence, each time I get a haircut I also get a massage from Rachel, whose baby was also born at the end of December. Although Sara, who cut my hair in January, is a lovely person and very skilled at her job, it was good to be back in the hands of those two. Good to be back, but something's very clearly different, too, for these two first-time parents (both of whom are around my age). I found the experience, listening to their stories--told tentatively, sensitively--sweet and unsettling at once.

    So. "New hair." Newly polished toenails. Not sure why that's still happening so regularly. The toenail polish thing is a direct concomitant of being attracted to someone; it's a weird unconscious preening thing. Particularly weird given the time of year, I suppose, since my toes aren't on display. Still, I've been polishing (and updating the color) regularly for a couple of months now, for the first time in...a couple of years, I guess. Gah. That's unsettling, too. I think I'd sacrifice a toe to stop feeling this way.

    It's late, and I'm tired. Staying up writing about being tired, rather than sleeping, seems especially perverse.