apparently, Carl, when you bought that medium drink, you entered a binding contract that enables them to rip off your dick

1. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?
   Warner Brothers, by far. Disney is the root of much evil, particularly in my current field of employment.
2. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?
   meerkats. LOVE meerkats.
3. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
   oh, Hell yeah
4. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?
   no, but we would probably want to
5. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?
   I get a massage every 5 weeks when I get my hair cut. It is a luxury, and I give up other things so that I can afford it. I wish I could do it more often.
6. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?
   a Constitutional freedom, or a sort of commonsensical one? Constitutionally, I'd throw out the 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination, since it could be protected against in other ways (and people are sort of dumb and probably deserve to get stuck anyway), In a common sense way, let's get rid of the freedom to wear flip-flops. The sound...ugh.
7. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?
   equator!
8. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?
   television, in a heartbeat
9. What do you think makes someone a hero?
   standing up for someone else against someone/something stronger, despite the risk
10. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?
    Aqua Teen Hunger Force--I [heart] Frylock!
11. Name one thing that turns your stomach:
    the professional abilities and personal demeanor of the individual with my job at M. Public Library
12. What was the last thing you paid for?
    professional services at the local urgent care, including 2 conversations with an M.D., 3 x-rays, a tetanus booster, and a surprisingly comfortable buddy-tape
13. Are you a coupon clipper?
    yep, not that I often reap the benefits. Call it a leftover hobby of couple-hood.
14. Get anything good in the mail recently?
    yes! This week I got a postcard from London and a package from Alaska. Yay!
15. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?
    karate. It's about damn time I get back to fighting weight.
16. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?
    no. I could explain, but they would silence me - permanently.
17. What insects are you afraid of?
    none - only weenies (and apparently some tattoo artists) are afraid of bugs.
18. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?
    please use other door
19. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?
    there was an odd, ill-advised shorts/sweater ensemble that I sported in high school, in all likelihood topped with the off-white lightweight canvas duster coat and floppy painters cap. Where was DCFS when I needed them? And that hair....
20. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?
    bacon!
21. What are your parents interested in?
    computers, walking for health, country music, car racing, and old movies
22. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?
    WTF is the obsession with insects? No, I have not.
23. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?
    no. Some of my tame pets weren't even really tame, so I would hardly seek out a wild one.
24. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?
    wishes
25. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?
    writing
26. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you.
    
    1. a camper containing an actual bed with a door that locks
    2. super industrial-strength pepper spray
    3. food & water

[from The Cat, who followed the standard naming convention, and got it here; the title quotation is from ATHF, as much as I'd like to claim it's Shakespeare]