everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody

A newer reader - who is also a friend from way back - has relaunched The Interview Game. I've known bgm, who blogs at Sledding with Rosebud, since we were...wow, in elementary school, I think. In the course of recent conversations about our blogs, we contemplated various ideas to have more input on content for each others' sites, and this was one of the plans we had. I hope it answers your thoughtful questions, B., and that it suitably entertains the rest of y'all.

1. Your experiences in the realm of relationships have ranged from sublime to surreal. It might be tempting to become self-critical, but what do you see in yourself as a real treasure?
   "That's your first question? I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece." (It's a Zissou quote.) Don't be fooled--I am legitimately self-critical. All the time. To be fair, though, I probably was that way even before I started racking up relationship stories that are infinitely more surreal than sublime.
   I am a good listener. I can be fully quiet, attentive, thoughtful. I can ask the right questions or say nothing at all when the situation merits it. I am perfectly comfortable with silence, too, when that's mutually agreeable. I don't need to be entertained (although I've come to realize that it's sometimes easier to be entertained than to explain why I don't require it). When I am with my friends - real friends, people about whom I really care - there is nowhere else I would rather be.
2. It's a jungle out there, and we tend to wear masks to protect ourselves. Do you have a particular mask that protects you most often?
   “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” [Oscar Wilde]
   It depends. At work, there are various, one for each audience. Most often, I am probably "super-efficient, slightly cranky, and my tasks mysterious to every onlooker." At the rare times when I need to venture into the public areas, I effect a mien of blandness and boredom that is confusing enough that I am almost never presumed to actually work there. (Thank God.) In meetings, I am the one who sits in the back corner, muttering clever comments (or writing them in the margins of my agenda), making my friends laugh and getting them into trouble. I always look like the innocent one....
   Within my family of origin, I just try to stay out of it. Silence, 95% of the time, is golden, so I bite my tongue a lot. Nobody "wins" arguments that start from there anyway.
   Socially, I can be The Snark (most often), The Flirt (which is the hardest to admit), and The Lawyer. I'm sure there are others, but those are the big three that leap to mind. The Snark makes sharp fun wherever possible, particularly at herself. Although she's witty and funny, undeniably, there's also an edge that leaves a bitter taste. The Flirt - does it go without saying? - gets me into ridiculous trouble with ridiculous, inappropriate people (and sometimes even appropriate people crossing lines left and right). I could have called that one "Absence of Impulse-control" because it's more than just flirting, veering (although thankfully not too far, anymore) into the entire manic realm. Driving too fast (always), spending without considering the ramifications, drinking to excess. Adolescent behavior that's hard to countenance in an adult. And The Lawyer, while sometimes fascinating and something of which to be proud, is also hard to control and embarrassing at times. It's intellectually pulling rank, often out of the blue, and doesn't have to relate to the law. Every lawyer does this. Push me too hard, push at the wrong time, or push someone I care about in the wrong way, and I'll use my brain and my mouth to murder you - or just make you wish you were dead. There are times when The Lawyer is particularly handy (e.g. after waiting too long in line or on hold, or when dealing with another lawyer, or with someone who's underestimated me based on some preconceived notion that's utterly false) and I wouldn't wish it away, but I also wish it were easier to control once it comes out. For that matter, The Snark's got a mind of its own and travels on greased wheels, and so does The Flirt.
3. No one struggles alone. If there was one trait you value most in a friend, what would that be?
   My best friends are smart and clever (fast wit, fast thinkers), book-lovers, aesthetes who like food and music and art (even if we disagree about what "art" means) and clothes and shoes and nail polish. They like salons where they are treated well - to say "pampered" implies a degree of indulgence that is inaccurate, but to say that they appreciate a good haircut, products that keep their skin soft and smelling nice, and people who treat them like they belong, that's more like it. And of course they love me to distraction.
   But what one trait do I value the most in them? Each of them loves animals. And when you think about it, loving animals - whether or not you live with them, bring them into your home, buy their kibble or change their box or muck their stall or supply carrots when they meep - means that you have room in your heart for someone who might not be able to give back what you give to them. But you care for them anyway, just because you can, and you do, and that's the kind of person you are, who you are capable of being. What better kind of people could I choose to be around? How much more forgiving, hopeful, loving friends could I have, than that?
4. The time machine awaits. Thankfully, no matter what you do in the past, nothing will have an effect on the march of history. Who do you go back and see, what experiences do you want to live through, or what time period and place beckon to you?
   Brace yourself.
   I want to go to Ireland in 1912 or so, and stay there through the early 1930s. I want to see, for myself, what Partition did, and meant, to real people. And what the war was like, and how wrong my ideas of power and nationalism and patriotism are.
   And then I want to go to Spain, for the Civil War. While I'm there, I want to punch Hemingway in the face, but that's another story. I want to see just how much Germany helped Franco - and set the stage for Franco (and Spain) to help Germany a few years later. And I kind of want to punch Franco in the face, too.
   And then I want to go to Switzerland during the war (WWII). I know they did so much, and I want to go back and catch 'em.
5. Life amongst books isn't all bad. Aside from the obvious exposure to books, what about your current employment do you find bearable, or even pleasurable?
   Friends, old and new. I've met some of the best people in my life there, or because of there. I mean, I can't take it back to butterfly theory, but a lot of great people have come into my life because I've been there. Three of my best friends. An ex-boyfriend, who is if nothing else a source of surreal stories. And a couple of other good guy friends.
   I've also gained some skills. Admittedly, not too many of them are transferable to any other field, since what we do is so specific. And odd. And fraught with shelf-life.
   Those books, though - they're awesome!

[title quotation by Mark Twain, from Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894]