seize from every moment its unique novelty, and do not prepare your joys

April 5: winnow

In attempting to give a friend advice about surreptitiously winnowing her spouse's book collection, I realized that I'm far better at giving advice than I am at maintaining my own relationships. Shortly thereafter I excused myself from the discussion.

---

1. Have you been out of your home country?
   no, indeed, I have not. But The Cat and I are headed to Canada for that bowling thing very shortly.
2. Weaknesses?
   
   bacon sandwiches (literal and figurative); cleverness; kisses with meaning
3. First job?
   
   bakery wage-slave
4. Ever done a prank call?
   
   yep. Peggy in the New York suburbs may recall one of them. (No, I am not sorry!)
5. Do you think everyone out there has a soul mate?
   
   sometimes, yes, I believe it. Sometimes my faith and hope fail me. Most often, though, this sums it up perfectly: Semisonic's One True Love.
6. What were you doing before you did stealing?
   
   I'm going to assume that by 'stealing' you refer to this memequiz, so...I took a quick shower after working out.
7. Have you ever had surgery?
   
   indeed, I have. Memorably.
8. What do you get complimented about most?
   
   my brain, I suppose. A couple of weeks ago someone said something kind about the way my hair smells, though.
9. Have you ever had braces?
   
   yep
10. What do you want for your birthday?
    
    
    it's a while til my birthday. How about for Easter? Since it's turned into a secular gift-giving occasion...a set of 12 striped glass eggs or a pouch of 30 glass 'fishies' from Crate & Barrel, or of course anything from my Amazon wishlist (there are so many books that I'm dying to read...). And I'm still dreaming of the Sapphire Scroll Ring from Sundance. Or maybe a gift card from the salon?
11. How many kids do you want and what do you want their names to be? (Or if you have kids, tell us about them.)
    
    in all likelihood, I'm well past the point of having a child of my own. I have reasonably good relationships with the children of my friends--some of whom are profoundly important to me. That is 'all' I need.
12. Were you named after anyone?
    
    presumably there were others with my name before I came along. But, no, there was no specific person after whom I was named.
13. What is the biggest turn off of the sex(es) you're attracted to?
    
    stupidity. 
    No: foolishness. 
    No: arrogance. 
    No: cruelty.
14. What is one thing you liked about high school?
    
    band. But high school really wasn't that bad.
15. What kind of shampoo do you use?
    
    Redken Color Conserve
16. Do you like your handwriting?
    
    meh. It was so much better before law school. Now it gets really, really terrible at times. But it's distinctive, so that's something.
17. What is your favorite lunch meat?
    
    is ham a "lunch meat"? If so, you've got your answer. If not, then I don't have one.
18. Any bad habits?
    
    none at all.
19. Are you a jealous person?
    
    yep. I know it's foolish and a waste of time and self-destructive, but I'm not yet fully-evolved.
20. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
    
    probably not. I can be a fucking trial.
21. Do you agree with 'friends with benefits'?
    
    in theory. Practice is another thing entirely.
22. Do looks matter?
    
    yep, and if you claim they don't, you're either blind or the first clause in that Abraham Lincoln (or Will Rogers? Or P.T. Barnum?) quote.
23. How do you release anger?
    
    through a specially-designed valve behind my left ear
24. Would you rather gain 58 pounds or lose 58 pounds?
    
    lose, of course--though 58 is actually just a bit more than I'm looking to lose.
25. What's your main goal in life?
    
    just be. No 'goal'.
26. What was your favorite toy as a child?
    
    Tinker Toys. Or a stuffed animal mouse named Randy.
27. How many numbers are in your cell phone?
    
    ten, just like everyone's.
28. Were you a fan of Barney as a little kid?
    
    according to its Wikipedia page, the show first aired April 6, 1992. (Spooky--that's 20 years tomorrow...!) At that point I was two months and one week away from getting married. In other words: I was not a little kid.
    And also, Barney is fucking terrifyingly horrible.
29. Do you use sarcasm?
    
    never.
30. Mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese?
    
    mashed potatoes, but only with gravy. The more brown, the better.
31. What do you look for in a lover?
    
    I'm definitely not in the right frame of mind to answer this question right now. How about some music to shift away from this awkward moment? [link died]
    
32. What are your nicknames?
    
    I'm sure I have none.
33. Favorite super power?
    of my own? Alphabetizing (there's no one better); CD-mixing; couch-lazing.

[from The Cat, who got it here; the title quotation is by André Gide]