My friend's brother tends to be attracted to fecund females; he's been involved in three (as yet unsuccessful) paternity disputes, and is only 23 years old.
May 12: hummock
Even a mere hummock would be welcome in this godforsaken flat land!
Sin #1: Lust
- Who was the last person you checked out? Did they check you out too?
Ted, yesterday. And no, he did not--not that I noticed, anyway. It wasn't a "real" check-out, anyway. More of a subconsciously-longing glance, followed by a couple of hours' pondering. - Who was the last person you desired, but they didn't feel the same?
Rowdy. - Ever cheated on a significant other? If so, have you learned from it?
yep. Not at all; I plan to do it every time I can convince someone to come near me. (Seriously, some of these questions....) - Do you watch porn?
not as a rule, no - Do you masturbate?
never - Best physical features on your preferred sex?
I prefer that they have the entire standard set - Who are some celebrities that you think are totally hot?
Remember two things: there's no accounting for taste, and this list is subject to change at my whim, both of which mean I'll make no excuses...
Mark Wahlberg - getting better every day. 
Edward Kowalczyk - former lead singer of Live 
Ben Roethlisberger - big & dumb, prehaps, but I still think he's hot 
German actor Sebastian Koch - fantastic in Verhoeven's Black Book 
the inimitable Jean Reno 
auto racer Kevin Harvick 
Jet Li - another man who's aging beautifully 
Peter Outerbridge - currently appearing on television in the CW series Nikita 
George Clooney. Duh! - Did you ever lust after a best friend's significant other? How did it turn out?
no, but two different good friends began dating guys I'd already 'set my cap for' during high school. This was before the phrase "bros before hos" came into the vernacular, but it was a betrayal nonetheless. One of the pairs is married and has a child, so I guess that's all good. (I guess....) The other still stings a little when I think about it too much, so I don't. - When was the last time you had sex?
eons. In fact, I'm sure I can't recall ever having done that, it's been so long. - Ever pursued someone, even though they were taken?
it depends on the definition of 'pursued.' The better story is probably the one in which my attentions were sought by someone who was taken--but it's not my story to tell.
Sin #2: Gluttony
- When did you last eat at a restaurant? What restaurant was it?
a couple of weeks ago, three friends from work and I went out to the local steak place, in part because we hadn't had "girls' night out" in a while and in part because two of them had never been to that restaurant before. The food was delicious as always, the conversation had its highs and lows (as always with work people), and another evening that would have been long and quiet was, instead, quick and enjoyable. - When did you last have fast food? Where did you get it?
unless Jimmy John's counts, I honestly cannot remember. I never get fast food for myself, and will only very rarely eat it when someone else is buying. It just doesn't appeal anymore.
(The last Jimmy John's run was at least a month ago, maybe two.) - What was the biggest meal you had all day?
I had a plate of leftover angel hair pasta with garlic tomato sauce at around 3:30 this afternoon. - Do you have too many clothes? How often do you go shopping?
I'm an American and I'm trying to lose weight--of course I have too many clothes! - What's something you have a LOT of?
white shirts. Blue shirts. Black shirts. Gray shirts. Shoes, I guess. - Do you eat a lot?
not so much as I have at various times in my life, no. Definitely not enough to make my parents happy, given how often they're trying to shove something in my mouth when I'm visiting them. But I do eat enough to get by. - What was the last thing you splurged (spent a lot of money) on?
ironically, it was exercise-related - What do you spend most of your money on (besides bills and anything necessary like that)?
books, movies, music, and gifts - Last time you ate candy? What was it?
a 10-count box of yellow Peeps; I finished them on Wednesday evening. - Last thing you ate too much of?
there was more pasta on that plate than I would have needed, I think. I was pretty stuffed when I was through.
Sin #3: Greed
- Do you share things? How often?
all the time. I often share a can of Coke with Fluffy at work, for instance, or we'll divide a large-sized dessert in half. My friends and I will share rides to and from work-related stuff (whether formal or informal). I'm not too picky about needing my own stuff. - Someone asks you for a piece of your cookie. You break it in half, but the pieces aren't equal. Who gets the bigger piece?
I cut, you choose. It's a basic playground rule. - When you see change on the ground, do you pick it up?
if it's not weird to do so, sure. - How often do you lend money to people?
depends on the person. Not because I'm suddenly ungenerous, but because past generosity has left me less means by which to be generous. Besides, I have bills to pay. - Do you loooove money?
meh - If someone offers to pay for you, do you decline or readily accept?
depends on the person and the circumstances. If it's a family thing, then there are layers of unspoken drama to sort out first. If it's a friend, I adhere to the standard of, "we'll sort it out eventually." At work, several people and I seem to share that philosophy, and come up with lunch-cash for each other as needed, which is a nice thing to be able to rely on, in a pinch. I have a couple of friends who always buy for me, and it doesn't bother me, though I'd like to be able to do the same as casually at some point in our lives. - Which of your friends is the wealthiest?
no clue. I've never really thought about it, and we don't compare bottom-lines. - Would you take a high-paying job that you didn't really like just for the money and benefits?
you don't know me very well, do you? - Ever stole from anyone? What about stole from a store? What happened?
I had a job in college that was notorious for the "employee discount"--which was modeled after the managers' discount. It's no wonder the place went belly-up.
I stole a package of self-adhesive Velcro from a store during high school; it was needed in order to mount the radar detector that my friend had just stolen out of a car for me (after shattering one of the windows with a brick). Having had no idea what he was up to when he told me to park next to [that car], I can still remember the way my chest constricted when I heard the glass break. Compared to that, pocketing a flat packet of Velcro seemed like nothing. All these years later, though, the whole mess seems otherworldly and unimaginable. - Do you ever have enough money?
I suppose I do. It rarely seems that way, though.
Sin #4: Sloth
- Last thing you procrastinated on?
I'm procrastinating right now! There are two emails in my inbox that are just begging for responses, plus a basket full of clean clothes that need to be folded. It's been a couple of days since I've written anything here, though, so I feel a greater sense of need/responsibility to get this down before I do anything else. Also, I'm tired of doing laundry. - When you're at a strip mall and the next store you want to go to is at the other side, do you drive over there instead of take a short walk?
I'll usually park in the middle and walk to both, though it depends quite a bit on what "short" means. Around here, they make some of their strip malls fuckin' HUGE. - What's a typical day off of work like for you?
let's pretend that today was typical. I woke up at 7:46. My head still hurt (I'd awakened at 3:something AM with a spear-like pain running from the base of my skull out through my right eye. Got up to take a migraine pill, realized that with nothing in my stomach I was likely to have some discomfort at least, so I padded downstairs to find something to eat. Found some fairly stale pretzels in a baggie left over from my return trip from the home state. Ate them. Went back to bed.) so I had a drink of water and rolled to a cooler, more comfortable position on the bed. Woke again at 9:46. Weird, huh? Got up. Made a pot of tea (Wild Blueberry). Ate breakfast while catching up on email & FB. Tried to read but my eyes kept closing. Took a nap. Got up. Put on clothes ("outdoor clothes", I mean); went to Target to pick up a prescription. Came home, intending to be incredibly productive all afternoon. Read, listened to music (finishing a mix CD), futzed with the blog. Ate pasta while watching a strange Canadian television show about a horse ranch. Watered the African violets. Started laundry. And that's about it. - What's one talent you have that you don't really work on, even though you have the ability to be good at it?
writing, I suppose? This is certainly the lazy approach to developing a daily writing routine. - How many hours of television do you watch a day?
not even one. There are whole weeks where I don't turn it on at all. - What about the amount of time you spend on the Internet a day?
I use the Internet all day, every day at work--it's where a big part of my job 'lives.' That's one of the reasons why coming home and logging in is the very last thing I want to do, some days. Unplugging can be very appealing when typing and reading a screen is all one ever does. - How many hours of sleep do you get a day? Do you sleep in late?
somewhere between 3 and 12. I've become a terrible sleeper, which is irritating because I'd always been good at it before. When I have the chance to get some sleep, I'll take it, even in the form of "sleeping in late." - Do you drive to places that are less than three blocks away?
around here: hell, yes. Walking is taking your life in your hands in some areas; it's bad enough in a car, but at least then I'm surrounded by airbags. - When was the last time you exercised?
25 hours ago. I'm on an every-other-day program until Monday, when I start my new one. - Ever copied and pasted your homework from a website on the Internet?
no, because such a thing did not exist in my era. But I did write a paper for a couple of people during college. It wasn't worth the money they were willing to spend.
Sin #5: Wrath
- If you could kill one person and get away with it, would you do it?
let's just say I'd hold onto that Get Out Of Jail Free card, just in case - Is there anyone you honestly and truly can say that you hate?
maybe so, maybe not - Is there anyone you want revenge on, whether you want to get them back big-time or just play a little prank on them for hurting your feelings?
definitely! - Are you fighting with any friends right now? Why?
nope, but I have a couple of acquaintances that I'd happily shove off acliffhummock...if I could find one.... - Last time you were really angry? What happened?
I probably shouldn't talk about it in this venue; such things have gotten me into trouble before. I just really, really don't like to be patronized. - When you're angry, what do you do to calm yourself down?
I don't think I do try to calm myself. Anger, like fever, has a purpose. - "Hate is just the fear of loving someone." True or false?
false, and kind of dumb - What's the best revenge you ever got on someone?
I suppose that being able to say, "I've moved on" when they've come back to say, "I was wrong" is as close to satisfying revenge as it gets - Were there any hard feelings after your last break-up? On whose end was it?
yes. I suppose the 'end' is debatable. - Ever been cheated on? How did that make you feel?
this is one of those sideline-reporter questions that makes me wish the player would shove the microphone completely into the reporter's mouth, sideways. NO COMMENT!
Sin #6: Envy
- Is there anyone you're jealous of? Name a person and tell us why.
no one I could name here. It's just a woman who has some things that I think that I would be happy to have. Who knows, though? She's kind of an unpleasant person, so maybe those things don't make her all that happy. Is that just because she's fat and mean? Or is it because she's being made unhappy, at least in part, by the circumstances in her life that have me so envious? It makes me wonder.... - List three physical features some other people have that you're envious of (no need to get specific and name people; you can just say something like "brown eyes" or "having perfect eyebrows"):
more ease at getting/staying in shape; naturally curly hair; 'nice' fingernails - List three personality features that other people have that you're envious of:
appropriate vehemence; generalized bravery; a standard humor (the ability to be "funny" on command) - Are you a jealous significant other?
yep; I can pretend I'm not, for a remarkably long time, even, but I'm pretty possessive - Could you date someone who was really jealous?
I just laughed when I read this question, because it seems so silly. I've never had to worry about it, so what's the point in even considering it? - What celebrity's looks do you envy the most?
Paget Brewster.
Paget Brewster & Matthew Gray Gubler - Do you think anyone is envious of you? In your opinion, what characteristics (physical and mental) do you possess that you think someone might be envious of?
I think there are probably some people who envy me in work-related ways, which are probably even more merited than they realize; I'm good at my job. Physically, you're welcome to be desiring to have my eyes or my strong arms, but I'll be keeping them. Mentally, I suppose one might envy my ability to remember song lyrics or basic Spanish vocabulary, or my facility with organizing (not that I apply it all that often). - What are a few things you wish you were good at?
I wish I was good at letting go. - Did you ever date someone, break up, and then see them dating someone very attractive a few days later? Were you jealous of that person?
the two times that the guy I liked ended up going out with one of my best friends should complete this category adequately. Was I jealous? Are you MENTAL? - When looking at a love interest's exes, do you often find yourself jealous of their good-looking exes?
no, because I don't generally torture myself on purpose that way anyway, and even if I did: they're 'ex' on purpose
Sin #7: Pride
- What's something you brag about a lot (be honest--we all brag sometimes)?
how awesome my friends are - What physical features do you take the most pride in?
I guess my strength--strong arms and back - Are you satisfied with what you have?
sometimes yes, sometimes no. Such is life. - Be honest: when someone is telling you something, do you often change the subject so it's about you and your accomplishments instead?
depends. There's a person at work who talks too much, so I'll wedge a lever in any way that I can. But generally I avoid talking about myself. If you haven't noticed, then that's your own problem. - Do you like talking about your achievements?
see above - Do your parents tend to brag about how well you came out?
I hope this means 'my success or lack of same' and not the method by which I emerged.
I don't know, really. I'm not around them all that much, and when I am, we tend to be around people whom I've known my whole life (or fairly near to that). There wouldn't be much point in bragging me up. And anyway, the brag-worthy stuff is probably past. - Do you strive to be better than others? Do you think competing with others is healthy?
I don't think about it very much, but I guess if I "strive" at all it's to be better than I was before. More like golf, less like chess. And yes, competing with others is healthy. It is one method by which we can measure ourselves. - What do you do better than most people?
deflect - Do you believe in taking pride in things you can't control (e.g. being proud of your heritage, being proud of your skin color, being proud of your natural artistic ability)?
I think that you're deliberately obscuring the word "pride" here, mixing the first five definitions listed in that link. Pride in one's heritage is more like definition 1, "A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect." Proud of one's own skin color - which is an odd way to phrase it in any case - is either #1 or #5 ("An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit."), depending upon the purpose. And pride in one's natural artistic ability presumes some application of that ability, and so is #2 ("Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association"). Unless the term(s) are defined accurately, this is a meaningless question. - Who are you competing with right now (it could be anything--classmates for a grade, co-workers for a position, other girl for a guy, etc.)?
I don't know that I'm openly competing with anyone for anything. That's either really sad or incredibly healthy.
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