My theory was that though others claimed they experienced emo-
tions, in truth what they were speaking of were suppositions, theo-
ries, unconsidered traditions of response and retelling.
I believed emotions were actually sensations and perceptions
muddled with mental projections, illusions in everything but name.
The flow of inner representations assumed forms that without re-
flection might be considered "emotions," but in fact the whole thing
was merely convention.
Even the lust gusting through me, my love of love, my frustration,
disappointment, dejection, I deemed mere intellection.
So close to desperation, kept afloat by speculations like this, I'd
put them through their paces, or--and maybe I even knew it--they
mine.
[C.K. Williams, 'Youth, Sorrow, System' from All At Once]
tions, in truth what they were speaking of were suppositions, theo-
ries, unconsidered traditions of response and retelling.
I believed emotions were actually sensations and perceptions
muddled with mental projections, illusions in everything but name.
The flow of inner representations assumed forms that without re-
flection might be considered "emotions," but in fact the whole thing
was merely convention.
Even the lust gusting through me, my love of love, my frustration,
disappointment, dejection, I deemed mere intellection.
So close to desperation, kept afloat by speculations like this, I'd
put them through their paces, or--and maybe I even knew it--they
mine.
[C.K. Williams, 'Youth, Sorrow, System' from All At Once]
Tell me why do these words ring home?"
["Heartbreak a Stranger" by Bob Mould, from Workbook]
I'm putting together a post--I'm thinking it'll be a series, but who knows--of the soundtrack of my life (so far). This is one of the songs that didn't make the list, but is pretty close to one that has.
Airport shootings. Airport malfunctions. Earthquakes. Now wildfires, 42 miles from the rental house. Is this California thing happening, or isn't it? Nine days....
I have massage and haircut/color appointments tomorrow afternoon. It should be relaxing, but at this point I'm rather dreading it, because if the last few days are any indication, I'm too keyed-up to really enjoy it. This past week has been quite something. Maybe I'll get lucky and just sort of conk out for the duration.
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