why does the world need to know how it feels to crash into the sea?

• Are you a good lover? Ha! Ask someone else, I suppose, is the only answer. I do know what at least one of them would say, almost verbatim.
• Are you a good musician? not anymore - it's been way too long
• Are you a good comedian? if I didn't have to be "on stage", I'd probably be great at it
• What would be your ideal partner? a grown-up man with a sense of humor and irreverence. Someone who cares about music and books, who's at least willing to watch movies and be around plants, who knows something about food. A guy who has some sort of "masculine hobby" (motorcycles? carpentry? flying?)--who's interested in taking stuff apart to see how it works, and also who'd be insistent on handling my car's oil changes (whether doing it himself or taking it to the shop) so I don't have to. Someone who's equally comfortable in jeans or more formal attire. An independent, motivated, weird, clever, kind, decent person.
• What is the strangest thing you've thought about, recently? I recently purchased a new brand of shaving creme (not "cream" but "creme"), and discovered yesterday (when I started using it) that it has the distinct aroma of cotton candy. How in the world would such a thing come to be? Who would be sitting around the HBA factory thinking, "We really need to make this one smell like something wholly different than our usual flowers or perfume. Ideas?" "COTTON CANDY!" If I'm gnawed on by circus folk, you'll know why.
• Do you want a church wedding? that question presumes that I want a wedding at all. (And: probably not.)
• Have you ever been banned from a public place? yes
• How much spam email do you tend to get a week? In one address, I get almost none (maybe one message every couple of weeks). In my main address, it happens a couple of times a week. In the others (maintained for various personal reasons) there are hundreds every day.
• If you could learn any language fluently what would it be? Welsh
• What historical figure would you love to see in 21st century life? it's really hard, maybe impossible, for me to consider history outside of its context. Maybe it's just silly.
  But I would have loved to have met my grandfather, even once.
• As a kid were you ever frightened of a monster under the bed or in the cupboard? definitely. I was a little chicken.
• How long does it take you to get ready? in the average work morning, I'm awake and moving for around a half hour before leaving the house. On weekends it's more like three hours, but I'm hardly "getting ready" all that time.
• Have you ever been in a submarine? no, but I've been in a warplane! (A Grumman F9F Panther.)
• What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house? bed. A good bed makes everything better.
• What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house? the stove? Maybe? Hard to say. Maybe the fridge.
• Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? indeed, I am
• If you were a giant mega monster what city would you rampage? buh-bye Mad-town!

[shamelessly stolen from here and turned into a feast; the title quotation is from Hal Hartley's great and subversive monster movie, No Such Thing]