time and tide wait for no man

New year, new chances. The holidays were good. Quiet and relaxing. I was given some great gifts--something to read, some things to watch. Something to wear, some things to eat. Some simple tools, and some extraordinary technology. Some things that sparkle, others that show off what's meant to be seen. And some gift cards, for the pleasure of choosing some presents for myself. My friends and family are very generous and know me and my particular taste well.

In a lot of ways, it was the quietest holiday I've ever had, very low-key and not too stressful. In one big way, it was the hardest.

There is some upheaval in my world. Things at work are about to get complicated in a totally unexpected way. Staff that had left are returning, though not in their previous roles. That is going to shake up the delicate balance of life as we know it. Will it be for the better? Maybe. I think it is worth paying close attention to the nuances, in case. And a member of my extended family seems to be embarking on a significant life change, or two. One has been privately acknowledged, though not yet announced. The other is suspected but not confirmed. If both are true and come to fruition, that will shake things up significantly.

Someone about whom I care a great deal is going through a really rough time right now, both in a direct way and because of the ramifications of some recent news that he got (in terms of what it brings back, and what it might mean for the future). Our relationship has long been primarily verbal, but I find myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words. Nothing that I say can change anything, or truly convey my sorrow and anger and...everything else. Frustration and pain and wish to bite the head off something delicate and defenseless.

This is the time of year that my cynical friends retool themselves as worldly and scoff at the idea of resolutions, because they "inevitably fail" or "are soon forgotten." I am enormously pessimistic, but still see the value in looking forward. Why not, at the change of years, of all times? There is entirely enough negativity and passivity in the world. If someone is willing (or even eager) to take on a goal--why not support it?

Mine:
To exercise, again, regularly. I've sunk back into lousy habits and "fat clothes", and I'm tired of it.
And to write, rather than thinking about it or planning to do it "someday." Someday is the last promise for which to wait!


[the title quotation is by Sir Walter Scott, from The Fortunes of Nigel (1822)]