always it will be with you

Where has this cold come from?
"It comes from the death of your friend."

Will I always, from now on, be this cold?
"No, it will diminish. But always it will be with you."

What is the reason for it?
"Wasn't your friendship always as beautiful as a flame?"

[Mary Oliver {1935- }, 'For Tom Shaw S.S.J.E.', from Felicity: Poems]