shadow all your hopes with love Live your life without a doubt Outside in, inside out

  • What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?
    all of it, probably, in different ways. Lately, feeling unappreciated and under-utilized at work. It has the reverse effect of reinforcing my belief in myself, and my sense that I am better off elsewhere.
  • What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?
    death of people I love. There's no fighting it, no bracing oneself against it, no preparation that matters. It can destroy everything.
  • Where is one place you feel most like yourself?
    at the river
  • Where is your favorite place to escape to?
    in a book, particularly one that I've read before and been drawn back to for some reason
  • Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?
    there is no one person, but rather a group - few enough to be considered family, even though they're not all blood related - who have, good or bad, made their mark on me. My parents and siblings, cousins, some friends, and some souls I've known and loved and maybe lost or prehaps just turned into something else.
  • If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
    I would learn to turn my brain off. I am so very, very tired of thinking all the time.
  • If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?
    burn some things, tell a few people how I feel, punch a couple of people in the throat (or worse), give it all away, and take a long nap
  • What decade do you feel you most belong in?
    the current one, I guess? It's not a sign of great psychological health to be too disconnected from current reality.
  • Who are you closest to in your family? Why?
    my mom and dad, probably pretty equally. The relationships are pretty different, obviously, but each is good. Outside of that, my brother and one of my male cousins.
  • Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?
    "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the cat. He walked by himself...."

    [Rudyard Kipling, from
    Just So Stories]
  • What is your favorite quality about your best friend?
    patience, gentle humor, a listening ear, and the ability to see and tell the truth
  • When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grew up?
    a sports photographer
  • If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be?
    Henry Bale, from Rob Magnusson Smith's The Gravedigger. Solitude and sadness.
  • Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?
    I think that I accept them pretty well - mostly because I find it obnoxious and passive-aggressive when others are unable or unwilling to do so. If you think that I'm an idiot and my opinion doesn't matter, than I probably shouldn't be in a position to compliment you...right?
  • Is your favorite attribute about yourself, physical or non-physical?
    as much as I'd like to pretend I'm not vain, and say it's my humility or my kindness or some BS like that - it's definitely my feet
  • What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?
    mmm kay, well, besides the above, I suppose it's my strength; I'm far stronger than I look
  • What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself?
    and once again, besides the above - my ability to wing it. I'm coming to realize that's more rare than I'd ever thought before.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?
    not 'love' but strong attraction, sure. That draw is chemistry, and without that spark, the rest of it either takes a lot longer or never happens at all.
  • Do you believe in soul mates?
    I do, for sure. Maybe not in the "person you'll romantically love for your entire life" sort of way, but in a more meaningful, long-term, comfortable, useful sense. Just a handful of people have turned out to be puzzle pieces for me, who fit like no one else ever could. Without them, I feel incomplete and weird. I think that is what soul mate means--their soul matches mine, in some way, and is necessary to it, to me, and me to them.
  • How seriously do you take horoscopes?
  • Have you ever been in love? How many times?
    yes, and I don't count it
  • What makes you fall in love with someone?
    the person? I mean, the interaction between whatever ineffable "them"-ness and something about me that brings us together
  • What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?
    not holding anything back. I am vulnerable, to a degree, to my family and a couple of my friends.
    And myself.
  • What’s one thing you’re scared to ask a man, but really want to?
    "What is it about me that makes [this one thing, my fatal flaw] occur?"
  • If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do?
    probably pee standing up
  • What do you find most attractive about each sex?
    I'm not attracted to genders, but to individuals. I'm kind of concerned about people who are more focused on the gender than the individual who inhabits it, in fact.
  • What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about?
    psychology, specifically testing and measurement and the design of major tests
  • What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?
    play the drums
  • Why haven’t you done it yet?
    major muscle control in my left hand and arm does not match my right. In other words, it might be funny or maybe scary for anyone in the vicinity.
  • If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be?
  • If you had off from work today, what would you do?
    I would have slept a lot. I was exhausted all day long. And written a couple of messages that I've been mulling for most of the day, and probably worked on this year's alternative Christmas tree, which is nearly finished.
  • What was the last thing that made you cry?
    As I write this, I've been listening to a mix CD that I made for a lost love. The song "D.W. Suite" by Lindsey Buckingham is lovely, sweet, and sad, and reminds me very much of both the hope and despair of that relationship. While it played, I cried.

  • What was the last thing that made you laugh?
    a YouTube clip of Jimmy Fallon and Matthew McConaughey doing "kid theatre"
  • What is your favorite memory?
    it's kind of a collection of memories, driving around this state and the next one to the right with D, visiting local attractions and shopping and eating and just seeing what's out there. Reacquainting myself with what's around. Spending time with the best company.
  • What’s the last thing that REALLY embarrassed you?
    talking to Crush Level Green on the phone is always kind of excruciating
  • What is your biggest fear?
    heights, I think?
  • Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest one?
    oh Hell yeah. There's a bunch that jostle for top billing. At the moment, I'm wishing that I'd gotten the monkey tattoo when I first thought to do it.
  • Have you ever broken a law? If you haven’t what is one law you’d love to break?
    um, maybe once?
    I don't really have anything in mind at the moment.
  • What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
    meeting someone I'd met online now seems completely insane
  • Would you have a conversation with a stranger?
    in a sense, everyone is a stranger until they're not, so that question is pretty odd
  • Would you tell a stranger they have toilet paper hanging from their shoe? Or their dress tucked into their underwear? (Or anything else that is embarrassing to be seen in public)?
    only if it seemed necessary. I'm not going to go out of my way to embarrass someone if the situation is going to resolve itself. However, I will if need be.
  • What’s your favorite joke?
    it involves a buxom, er, piddock
  • Are you a dog person or a cat person?
    I love cats, but I'm more like a dog, I think, by personality
  • If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?
    I'd like to be one of those creepy lizards. Maybe a Klingon newt?
  • What’s one show, movie, or book, you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy?
    I'm really not shy about my preferences. If I like it, I own up to it.
  • How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?
    quiet, big reader, "good sleeper"
  • If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be?
    age 34. I'd make some different choices, for sure.
  • What’s something you believe in that not everyone else does?
    "I believe that if you're bristling while you hear this song
    I could be wrong
    Or have I hit a nerve?"
  • What’s one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people?
    my DNA. And my inability to see that sort of question as anything but a truism. People are very much all the same, but each individual is entirely unique.
  • What is one thing you feel your life is missing?
[from The Thought Catalog, here. The title quotation is from "D.W. Suite" by Lindsey Buckingham]

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