at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate

1. Who is the hottest celebrity you can think of? Timothy Hutton
2. Do you ever get so nervous that you can't even think? no. There's not much that can make me not think, you know?
3. Do you sing when there is no music? sometimes. I'm grinning...
4. Would you rather cast a spell or say a prayer? there was a time in my life when I was fascinated by the idea of spell-casting. There were some people around me at the time who were supportive of it, and we engaged in a lot of talk about it. I was ultimately too creeped out by the idea to go through with it, and turned away completely.
   That being said, "say a prayer" doesn't feel all that authentic to me, either. It seems, in that context, too much like a spell--not the right reason at all.
5. Why does the US dollar bill have a pyramid on it? it represents strength and duration, and has thirteen steps, which stand for the original thirteen states in the Union
6. Who was the best political leader in history? I'm torn between Doonesbury's Roman helmet and Waffle
7. What was the first sex toy you ever used? his name was Steve
8. If you hated a book, would you burn it? God, no
9. What are your feelings about pornography? warm & fuzzy
10. What are your feelings about people who are against pornography? some of my best friends are people who are against pornography
11. If you could dance with anyone in the world right now, who would it be and what song would you dance to? D.S., and the song would be anything from the 80s or 90s that's slow enough for one of those barely-post-high-school hold/wobble deals. We are Just Friends--and way overdue for expressing some affection.
12. What is your favorite flavor of Schnapps? I don't remember the last time I drank Schnapps on its own, but it was probably before I was of age. In other words: I've no opinion whatever.
13. Finish this sentence your own way. There are two types of people in the world... those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't
14. What have you saved since elementary school? a note of congratulations from a kindergarten classmate
15. Have you ever won an award? yup, there have been a couple
16. Are you more...
    good or evil? 50/50
17. wise or foolish? foolish
18. safe or dangerous? safe
19. satisfied or envious? envious
20. honest or deceitful? honest
21. faithful or perfidious? faithful
22. sane or mad? equal
23. strong or weak? somewhere in the middle
24. enigmatic or plain? enigmatic, with plain frosting
25. aggressive or peaceful? aggressive interior, peaceful exterior
26. brave or timid? brave
27. humane or cruel? humane
28. critical or appreciative? appreciative--I hope?
29. temperamental or calm? temperamental, with a calm shell that cracks easily
30. sad or happy? sad
31. normal or unusual? unusual
32. How do you feel about Terri Schiavo? the case was a tragedy and a warning. Do not wait to make your wishes known.
33. Do you feel more connected to the sun or the moon? the moon
34. Do flaws make people interesting to you? of course. A shiny surface dulls very quickly.
35. Who is your favorite historical figure? impossible to choose
36. White bread or wheat bread? usually, fiber-enriched wheat
37. Would you rather never have sex again or have sex once with a walrus? no, no, no
38. Would you rather sky dive or deep sea dive? neither one, thank you
39. What is the kinkiest thing you've ever done? besides blathering my secrets online for all these years?
40. What is your favorite pick-up line? how about something honest and direct, like "would you like to [see a movie, have lunch, go to the hardware store...?] with me?"
41. Do you usually do things fast or right? some of each. Maybe more right than fast.
42. What will the most common Halloween costume be this year? it's a long, long wait til October. Many moons before we need to choose such a thing.
43. Is love a choice or something that can't be helped? some of each, and it changes over time. I think that, at its best, it is a force within us that cannot be resisted. There are certainly times when it has to be a choice, deliberately made, day after day.
    It seems, from the outside, that the irresistible love is the best. Feeling swept away by uncontrollable emotion. But I have come to believe that the sweeter love is the one you have to work for, over and over. Hard fought, earned, hard won.
44. What is your preferred method of birth control? sex with someone who can't have kids
45. Is there someone you see everyday (or sometimes) that you would like to hug and talk to but you just don't know them well enough? not precisely, but sort of
46. Are you or have you ever been in a band? I was, for about 8 years
47. Here are 4 statements about me. Only one of them is true. Which one is it?
    a. I lost my mind doing drugs.
    b. I've been arrested before.
    c. I have 9 cats.
    d. I have a children's book published. I'm going with b
48. Would you wear a thong bathing suit in public? never
49. If you had to be surgically attached at the hip for two years to either Britney Spears, George W. Bush or an ugly creepy troublesome but nice troll, who would you pick and why? I'll take troublesome any day
50. Let's assume that there is a "meaning of life," a reason for humans to be here on this planet. Would you give up both of your legs and one of your arms if it would mean everyone else would learn the meaning of life? no
51. If you could meet God and talk to him for 5 hours, or find out whether or not there is intelligent life on other planets and make contact with them, which would you pick and why? (Note: If you meet God, you will never find out if there is intelligent life on other planets, so you can't ask God if aliens exist. Also, you would get no proof that you had talked to him or her. And finally, if God doesn't exist then you don't get to meet him or her!). I'm really not overly concerned about alien life forms
52. Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, or The Breakfast Club? The Breakfast Club
53. Before you read this question, pick a person from your life, any person. (You have to be thinking about someone before you continue!). Would you rather have the ability to watch that person for one hour per day, or would you rather have that person watch you for one hour per day? Who is it and why? (you pick the hour - they don't know that they are being watched - it's like there are invisible TV cameras following them around)? whatever would make him happy would make me happier than what makes me happy. And that's a very troubling thing to realize.
54. Would you rather be guaranteed to have your dream job or never be heartbroken? there's no such thing as never being heartbroken.
    
    For that matter, there's no such thing as a dream job. Don't believe anyone who tells you different. The trick, I think, is to be happy enough with what you've got.
55. Have you thought about death today? I have.
56. What is your favorite breakfast? pancakes & bacon, with orange juice and strong tea
57. What is your favorite classic movie? "It Happened One Night," maybe? Or "An American in Paris." "Holiday Inn" is a new go-to, too.
58. Gold or silver eyeshadow? on me? Gold, I guess? I used to have some from MAC that was surprisingly flattering.
59. Are you the life of the party? that made me laugh out loud. I think I've got just the title quotation to sum it up....
60. Do you wish you were? not really. I've become reasonably content with my highly selective extroversion.
61. Sdrawkcab daer uoy nac? sey

[From the 5000-question meme; this is the first half of the twenty-fifth part (questions 2301-2350). The title quotation is by Dorothy Parker.]