o, how full of briars is this working-day world!

1. What is the most difficult thing you have ever overcome? depression
2. What is more important, how much someone has achieved or how far they have come to achieve it? meaningless question. Is there a required "distance", to make an achievement legitimate? 
3. Have you ever had anything published? yes
4. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
   * less good looking than you?
   * about as good looking as you?
   * more good looking than you? 1. more, 2. about as, 3. less
5. How good-looking are you? that question is quite impossible to answer
6. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
   * less intelligent than you?
   * about as intelligent as you?
   * more intelligent than you? 1. more, 2. about as, 3. less
7. How intelligent are you? I do all right
8. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
   * has less money than you?
   * has about as much money as you?
   * has more money than you? 1. about as much, 2. more, 3. less
9. How wealthy are you? clearly not in the realm of "wealthy"
10. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
    * less wild and crazy than you?
    * about as wild and crazy as you?
    * more wild and crazy than you? 1. more, 2. about the same, 3. less
11. How wild and crazy are you? depending on the circumstances, I can be extremely crazy and very, very wild
12. Is your bathroom shelf stacked with numerous bottles of lotions and creams? less now than ever before. A waste of money.
13. How do you maintain your body? periodic maintenance at regular intervals
14. Did you ever imagine that objects have a life of their own? I don't give it much thought
15. What is it like to be an object, do ya think? I don't
16. Do stones, rocks, trees, lamps, water, couches, etc. all have some sort of life energy running through them? trees and water, maybe
17. Would you ever consider getting romantically involved with:
    ...your teacher? I had a sort of relationship with a professor once, years after we were in class together. It was brief, lovely, intense, and weird.
18. ...your doctor? my doctor in the old place was really cute, and great to talk with - but he was a wonderful doctor, you know?
19. "If ____ asked me for sex, I could NOT refuse." Fill in the blank as if you were speaking. only ONE person on the entire fucking PLANET
20. What is 'nothing'? the opposite of 'something'
21. Would you rather read about how to get better abs or about how thousands of people across the globe are marching for peace? abs
22. Should America make love, not war? how about neither? I'm not any more impressed with the romantic or sexual choices that my fellow countrymen make than I am with their politics--on either side of the aisle (or down the middle)!
23. If you could nominate anyone for sainthood, who would you and why? ugh. Sainthood isn't a realistic concept in my worldview.
24. Can you name one person who is purely good? no - but my former physical therapist comes pretty damned close
25. How about one person who is completely evil? no - but there are a few candidates who pop into my head...
26. Is there a book inside of you? yep
27. If yes, what about? life and times...
28. Do you call people more often or get calls more often? ha! My phone rang a few minutes ago and scared me half to death. It was the first time it had run in a week or more.
29. What do you wake up to? lately, my motherfucking neighbor's godforsaken dogs barking. If not that, it's a nonsense ringtone called "Timba"
30. If you could get a free subscription to any magazine what would it be? Popular Mechanics. Mine is running out and the cost has become prohibitive.
31. When you wrote letters to Santa, did you ever ask for stuff that didn't exist? no, the entire contents of the Sears catalog toy section was plenty enough for my greedy little heart
32. Make up a new slogan for McDonald's: no
33. What kind of people do you like to be associated with (business, writers, dark, antisocial, spiritual, happy)? intelligent people with lots of layers, who like to laugh at my cynicism but who will, at the same time, pull me out of it
34. How are you like a toaster? I like to eat Pop-Tarts
35. Do you believe we are really in the Matrix? since I really hated that movie ... not so much, no
36. What do you think aliens would think of life on Earth? at the moment they'd be perplexed and probably disgusted
37. What image do you get from the words 'urban decay'? makeup
38. Have a ___ day. Fill in the blank with anything but 'nice' that's all, just have a day 
    
39. Do you own anything with a:
    * South Park character or logo on it? uh, no
40. * Grateful Dead bear or logo on it? also nope
41. What is your impression of beatniks? vaguely jealous. I'd have liked to live that life
42. What was the last thing you ordered (or watched) on pay-per-view? a huge boxing match, sometime during college 
43. Nails, long or short? at the moment, they're long and not too flimsy. That's super rare.
44. Do you prefer touch lamps, the clapper, or the old-fashioned light switch? I think all my lamps are "old fashioned"
45. Do you like vines on old buildings? I did, until I realized what vines do to structures
46. How about graffiti on old buildings? no. If you own it, then graffiti away. If you don't, then you ought to be ashamed of yourself--and charged with the crime you've committed.
47. When someone says 'it's been one of those days' what do they mean by 'those days'? I'm sure it depends on the person
48. Have you ever owned those Magic Markers that could change colors? nope
49. "It's not easy bein' ____." Fill in the blank as if you were speaking. the one who cares more
50. Is there a song that has been stuck in your head since you were a child? no
51. Do you own anything plaid? flannel PJ pants, and a couple of wool skirts
52. Do you recycle? yep
53. What is your strongest point? my chin
54. What is your weakest point? my heart
55. What are you doing to work on that weakness? cardio

[From the 5000-question meme; this is the first half of the forty-third part (questions 4101-4150). The title quotation is from William Shakespeare, in All's Well that Ends Well, Act I scene 3 (Rosalind).]