and this wasn’t lying, not really. It was leaving out.

1. Do online relationships actually work? some do, and some don't. Just like other relationships.
2. Did you know who Norah Jones was before the Grammys? I think so?
3. In Maine, school teachers are being told by the board of education that they cannot criticize the possible upcoming war in front of students because those kids with military parents were getting upset by it in a few cases. What do you think of this? there are ways to teach morally complex subjects without being "critical" as such
4. Should a convicted murderer have the same right to be on the organ donor waiting list as anyone else? to donate? Sure.
5. What is the only completely instrumental album ever to be labeled as having explicit lyrics? Jazz from Hell by Frank Zappa
6. What are your top three favorite comic strips? xkcd, Bloom County, and Calvin and Hobbes
7. Is Eminem a genius? Why or why not? I'm no judge of that, but I think his ASL interpreter is pretty damned amazing
8. Where do you think woman are the most free from social pressure to please men--the US, Egypt or Japan--and why? I've never visited Egypt or Japan, so I can't comment on what it's like to be a woman in those environments
9. Is there a difference between crisps and crackers? crisps are potato chips, fried. Crackers are flat, baked, floury things.
10. If you were going to download three movies that you wouldn't have paid for but you'll watch since they're free, what would you download? if I had 3 free movie downloads, I'd probably choose something popular and trendy that would cost a ton to buy or rent, like the newer Star Trek series
11. If you had a ferret, what would you name it? Niles
12. What do you think of peta? it's a little dry
13. Is there a difference between a musical artist and an entertainer? an entertainer can be either more or less than a musical artist. In other words, it's either a compliment or a sharp put-down, depending how the word is used.
14. If you were a mythical creature, which one would you be? Narasimha
15. What is one thing you know is a lie? that love conquers all
16. How is your soul today? bruised, battered, and in pieces
17. Are you into sci fi? it's not my favorite, but I'll defend to the death others' right to love it
18. What's a 'poppet'? a tender, diminutive nickname for a female
19. How's the name Shane? can't think that name without thinking "Shane. Shane! Come back! Bye, Shane."
20. What is expected of your gender that you don't quite live up to? kindness, forgiveness, or (apparently) the tendency to take photos that aren't trashy
21. Kool-aid. If it'll dye your hair, try to imagine what it does to your stomach: it probably dyes that, too. Just like all sorts of other things that we consume.
22. Do people still dye their hair with Kool-aid? probably?
23. If you build it, they will come. What is it? Who are they? it's a ball field in Iowa. They are the players, the fans, and anyone who loves baseball.
24. What would you never do to get attention? good question
25. Should we try to control nature? we're human; we try to control nature practically with every breath
26. Who is the most powerful villain in the universe? our thoughts
27. Invent a superhero to deal with that villain? meditation
28. Who are you desperately missing? the man I fell in love with
29. What gives you a feeling of perfection and peace? sleep
30. Are you already whole and complete, or does something make you whole and complete? I already am, I guess
31. What? presumptuous, eh?
32. Do you prefer the word mankind or humankind? I'm not a feminist
33. Do you look good in yellow? nope
34. What do you want to win? the lottery would be nice. A MacArthur Genius grant would be lovely.
35. What gives someone power? a certain minimal degree of electricity will do it
36. Who has power over you? my boss, his boss, the guy in #28 above, my family, and a couple of friends
37. Who do you have power over? nothing and no one
38. What question do you really want to know the answer to...
    ...in general? is the world doomed?
39. ...about yourself? what one thing can I do to that will make the biggest, best change to make me healthy?
40. The lamest Disney movie ever was: I haven't seen very many of them, and what I have hasn't been bad
41. One thing you thought you would never miss but do is: some things about Ann Arbor
42. In what ways are you a role model? God forbid
43. In what ways are you a bad example? I'm very, very moody
44. How is your blood pressure? not great. It used to be low (borderline "too low") but is probably on the high side now.
45. What was our last horrible nightmare about? someone that I love died, and I was the last person that he'd contacted by phone. There was an investigation to determine whether the conversation was part of the reason that he'd died.
46. Hey you. What do you say? "hey"
47. What is your favorite waste of time (besides this survey)? I'm led to believe that it was Marthe Troly-Curtin who first said that “time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
48. How would you like to die? I'd prefer not to set a preference for that
49. What are three words used in your area/dialect that many other areas/dialects wouldn't be familiar with? I don't know that we use particular words so much as a specific pronunciation of certain sounds, like "roof" and "route" and "boat", eh?
50. What are the ages of the oldest and youngest person you've ever had sex with? 36ish and 57? I think? I don't know--I did not tend to require ID for a large portion of my sexual history.
51. What is the weirdest place you have ever woken up? in the front seat of a wood-paneled station-wagon outside the house of the bride's parents, the morning after a wedding
52. Did you remember how you got there? eventually
53. How do you feel when your partner is talking to an ex? there are a lot of assumptions there that make this question moot
54. Is there an unrequited (unreturned) love in your life? thank you for that unnecessary definition, which also serves as reinforcement. And yes, there is indeed.
55. What is the most expensive gift you have ever...
    ...given? a camera
56. ...received? earrings
57. List three traits that might help you to fall madly in love: coma, amnesia, and/or other major injury or illness
58. Do children like you? not generally
59. If you found your child's diary would you read it? once again, this question presumes certain issues which render my answer moot
60. What if you found the diary of one of your parents? I would not read it
61. Have you ever stalked or killed a wild animal? ugh, no
62. True or False:
    ...You are moody in the morning: probably not too much more than the rest of the day
63. ...Women first: I wouldn't dare to answer this question in any public forum
64. ...Baby corn freaks you out: nope, I love it
65. ...Life is fair: only in the sense that it is equally unfair for all participants (in the "life" sense, not in the specific application)
66. Name something you are now prepared to reveal about yourself that you weren't ready to talk about in the past? Tumblr ... exists in my immediate world
67. Name a talent someone has of which you are jealous: nonchalance
68. What would you think if you met yourself at a party? that I was having a psychotic break
69. What would you most likely complain about in a hotel? something literally not working (A/C, shower)
70. Agree or disagree:
    ...men need to be treated like children: disagree
71. ...it is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time: disagree
72. ...you often feel pressured by others: agree
73. ...couples should live together before marriage: neither
74. If you owned a restaurant, what kind of cuisine would you serve? if I owned a restaurant, it would not be as an active partner, so someone else would be making that sort of decision. Not that I can't cook, but I don't want to and couldn't make a success of a restaurant, surely.
75. Three words that describe your ideal day in bed are: day in bed? Not gonna happen.
76. If you had a ticket for a month in paradise, where would you go? right at this moment, paradise would be cool, quiet (no phone, maybe only sporadic Internet), sparsely populated, good reading available, ample places to walk by water but with no bugs, and someplace particularly comfortable, dark and quiet to sleep
77. All men like to hear: true compliments
78. All woman like to hear: true compliments
79. If you are a woman, what is your most masculine or macho trait or ability? If you are a man, what is your most feminine trait or ability? I can be ruthless
80. How would you feel attending the wedding of an ex? it depends how "ex" they were. Some of them would have been happy occasions, some bittersweet, some impossible.
81. Fiction or nonfiction:
    ...You can lie with a straight face: true
82. ...You pee in the shower: false
83. ...You prefer honesty even when it hurts: true
84. ...Uncapped toothpaste causes problems: it's not going to cause immediate pandemonium, but it defeats the purpose, yeah
85. What is the longest lust can last? that's the test, innit?
86. What would you like to experience while blindfolded? I don't love being blindfolded
87. The most horrifying couple you know is: two people with whom I used to spend time as friends. They're fairly wretched with each other (sniping and passive aggressive), not overly gracious with other people, and also sanctimonious about "the way that people ought to behave." Distance brings clarity about some things that familiarity can obscure.
88. Name three things you have experienced that would shock your parents: getting a tattoo (or ten), major airplane turbulence (my dad particularly would probably self-destruct), and, um, the effects of certain chemicals on the human brain
89. The oddest thing you have ever put in your mouth is: not something I'm going to discuss on the Internet
90. Lie or truth:
    ...love is a battlefield: it can be. It isn't, maybe, for most people, overall.
91. ...you watch too much TV: false
92. ...woman enjoy sex as much as men do: this can be true, and is probably more true than not, overall
93. ...you are often tired: absolutely
94. What is the craziest thing you've done for attention? after Nick and I broke up, I gathered up all his stuff--both his belongings and the things that he'd given me--in a garbage bag and hauled it over to his parents' house, when I knew that his mom would be home alone. His mom liked me and had been generally sympathetic to my situation in that relationship, so she wasn't too surprised by the visit.
    
    She was very gracious (as always) at a time when I needed a little mothering and a lot of kindness.
95. Do you believe in using the silent treatment? no
96. A shameful moment for you: uh, see above??
97. The biggest gamble of your life: leaving Illinois to move back to Minnesota. Leaving a situation that was comfortable, where I was making good money, where I was surrounded by incredibly good friends. Coming into a situation where my career and financial circumstances were much less stable, where I felt at home but also like I'd been away so long that I wasn't a part of things anymore, and in a way as if I was moving backward. It was a huge gamble.
98. What is your greatest weakness as a friend? the need for solitude. It seems really, really selfish sometimes.
99. Yes or No:
    ...complaining is a release: it can be
100. ...James Bond movies are sexy: ugh, some of them but definitely not all of them. (Some are just gross or boring.)
101. ...You feel better when you have a tan: not really. I can be tan for maybe a day between "burnt to a crisp" and "freckled".
102. ...You sometimes eat your boogers: no
103. Do you sometimes enjoy being mean? of course. Not much nuance there.
104. Are you high maintenance? in some ways--Hell yes
105. Would you rather assume the role of sexual student or teacher? I literally just snorted aloud
106. How many lovers do you consider to be too many? at once, or consecutively? In one day? In a lifetime?
107. What fortune would you want to find in a fortune cookie? "the love of your life is true"
108. Nothing says lovin' like: at least 20 seconds of attention every day
109. Have you seen Bowling for Columbine? If yes, what'd you think of it? haven't seen it
110. Do you overuse the word genius? funny, the book that I just finished (Isabel's Bed by Elinor Lipman) had a minor story arc about that, a character who referred to anyone that she particularly liked as a "genius" in some way. It started out annoying but became endearing through the course of the novel.
     
     And no, I do not. I tend to use the term in its specific definition.
111. Are you proud of the history of your people? Why or why not? "the history of my people"--my family? People from the town where I grew up? Or this state? Or my gender? Or my racial background? I am many "people," some of whom have more of which to be proud than others.
112. Do you think about world destruction? sure
113. What object could completely symbolize maleness? aubergine
114. How about femaleness? lily

[From the 5000-question meme; this is the forty-sixth part (questions 4401-4500). The title quotation is by Stephen King, from Hearts in Atlantis.]