More interesting is the favorite piece of clothing that I never owned.
I found my prom dress early. Several months before the dance, I found it in a magazine and knew I had to have it. I still remember almost everything about the moment: a Sunday, late morning, lounging on the couch. Idling through a magazine while my parents and brother talked in the kitchen. He had recently married and would, fairly soon, become a father. (None of us knew that then.) I turned a page and saw it: the perfect dress. In some ways, it was nothing "like me," and would have come as a big surprise to people who knew me well. Not a traditional prom dress for the time, it was instead gorgeous, classic, and sophisticated. I could still wear it today.
Long (mid-calf), cotton or a blend. A gathered skirt with a hundred little tucks, and a self-belt. The top was what made it: a true halter, tied at the back of the neck, but it wrapped about the bodice once before heading upward, making it both a little daring and a lot more (structurally) secure. The fabric was mostly a riot of pinks and reds, floral, but more tropical than dainty. The print was sumptuous, not delicate.
It was around $100, I had the money, and I could have bought it. But I didn't.
Did I know I wasn't going to the dance? Was I afraid to commit? More accurately, did I fear what would be set in motion if I owned, and wore, a dress like that?
I was starting to get a glimpse at my own power, and it was both tempting and scary. And I knew I was young for my age. Maybe I was acting in self-preservation, putting off the inevitable of transforming into a grown-up for a few more months.
Or maybe I just missed my chance.
Either way, that was the best piece of clothing I never owned.
[from a list originally found on Tumblr - this is #2; the title quotation is by Dia Reeves, from Bleeding Violet]
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