3.06.2020

there are deeper strata of truth in cinema, and there is such a thing as poetic, ecstatic truth

One of the more bizarro sets of films I've ever reviewed all at once, including a special request. There are major spoiler alerts ahead. If you haven't seen it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned!

The Magnificent Seven (2016) - "Seven gunmen from a variety of backgrounds are brought together by a vengeful young widow to protect her town from the private army of a destructive industrialist."
I watched it because: I saw the original (1960) version recently, and was curious to know whether this one holds true to that - which I liked far better than I'd anticipated.
story: 3/5--this version is much more complex (read: overdone) than the original
visuals: 4/5--really nicely done
acting: 4/5--standouts: you've got to expect that my faves are not going to be the headliners. Martin Sensmeier is sensitive, strong, and far from caricature as Red Harvest. Manuel Garcia-Rulfo's Vasquez is sexy, insouciant, and a little silly (in a good way). And the real star of the show, for me, is Byung-hun Lee. He brings a unique combination of suppressed fury and grace to the character of Billy Rocks.
intangibles: 2/5--there are a couple of big stars in this movie, who it was hard to get past. An ensemble cast ought to be greater than the sum of its parts, but this one was distracting.
overall: 3.25/5

You Only Live Once (1937) - "The public defender's secretary and an ex-convict get married and try to make a life together, but a series of disasters sends their lives spiraling out of control."
I watched it because: it was recommended on Amazon Prime, and I've never seen a Henry Fonda movie from when he was so young.
story: 2/5--craziness. Boy meets girl, she thinks he's cute. She loses her marbles when he comes to her boss' office looking for legal representation on a criminal charge--but still lurrrves him. He serves his time, and promptly upon getting out of jail, they get married. That's when the real melodrama starts....
visuals: 2.5/5--the film is in rough shape
acting: 3/5--standout: William Gargan (Father Dolan)
intangibles: 2.5/5--this movie is ... disconcerting.
overall: 2.5/5

Liar's Moon (1981) - "A poor kid elopes with a banker's daughter."
I watched it because: it was recommended on Amazon Prime. It came out before I was in the target audience, and I was curious to know what Matt Dillon was like before The Outsiders.
story: 2/5--oh my. There's not much that I'm leery of writing about on this ol' blog, given the years of water under the bridge, but this one is kind of beyond the beyond. In a nutshell, two crazy kids fall in love, get married, make a baby, and then find out that they have the same dad. Ick.
visuals: 3/5--pretty people being pretty, until all hell breaks loose. Even the greased pig contest seems strangely hygienic.
acting: 2.5/5
intangibles: 2.5/5--distressing, odd, and eventually flat-out nightmare fuel
overall: 2.5/5

The Bay of Love and Sorrows {a.k.a. La baie de l'amour et des regrets} (2002) - "Tragedy strikes the young people of a rural New Brunswick community when they become involved with a scheming and violent ex-con."
I watched it because: it was yet another Canadian drama from my 'Peter Outerbridge filmography' shelf. This one took an age to actually locate, so I was really looking forward to watching it when it finally arrived.
story: 2/5
visuals: 3.5/5--filmed on location in New Brunswick, it's a beautiful film to watch
acting: 2.5/5--standout: Jonathan Scarfe (Michael Skid)
intangibles: 2.5/5
overall: 2.625/5

The Thing from Another World (1951) - "Scientists and American Air Force officials fend off a bloodthirsty alien organism while at a remote arctic outpost."
I watched it because: it was recommended by my dad's barber. That may sound strange, but Joe the Barber is a somewhat renowned movie fanatic and keen reviewer.
story: 3.5/5--cuckoo and strangely deft for the era
visuals: 4/5--except for the hokey and borderline ridiculous "special effects," this film was really well done.
acting: 3/5--standouts: Margaret Sheridan (Nikki Nicholson) and Kenneth Tobey (Capt. Patrick Hendry) were fun to watch, cute and snappy--and with an extremely surprising BDSM aspect to their relationship. The rest of the cast was hit or miss. One can't help but feel bad for the poor Thing, played in straight-man style by James Arness.
intangibles: 2.5/5--the little terrariums..!
overall: 3.25/5

The Kitchen (2019) - "The wives of New York gangsters in Hell's Kitchen in the 1970s continue to operate their husbands' rackets after they're locked up in prison."
I watched it because: it was a sort of commission, for lack of a better word. My 'patron' asked that I watch it, and so - knowing absolutely nothing about it beforehand - I requested it from the library and watched it as soon as it came in.
story: 1.5/5--outrageously unrealistic. Laughably so. Three women who are essentially handmaids to their asshole, mobster husbands suddenly transformed into strong, independent women who are taken seriously as Bosses? By themselves, each other, their "clientele," and most absurdly, by the other Bosses? What services were they providing, exactly - besides "knowing someone" who could grease the wheels for a cosmetology license? They obviously couldn't provide protection. What value could they offer?
visuals: 3/5--gritty vintage, with lots (and lots and lots and lots) of tight full facials of Melissa McCarthy. Why?
acting: 2/5--waaaaay too sentimental or over-the-top vicious, the one standout is Domhnall Gleeson as the lovestruck decapitator Gabriel O'Malley.
intangibles: 1/5--WTF is this? Seriously. Is this a dark comedy? Or a comic book/action film? Is it a mob/redemption drama? Is it about girl power, or black power? Or the fun & glory of shooting anyone who startles or pisses you off, and chopping up their body (don't forget to pierce the lungs!) and dumping it in the river? Were the actors in the same room when this was filmed, or did they each mail in their performance from a different continent? Because they don't seem to be experiencing and responding to the same stimuli. I watched this movie, fairly damned enthralled, for 102 minutes, yet I still can't figure out why in the Hell it was ever made.
overall: 1.875/5

Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - "The story of T.E. Lawrence, the English officer who successfully united and led the diverse, often warring, Arab tribes during World War I in order to fight the Turks."
I watched it because: it was #5 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies (original list 1998), #7 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies – 10th Ann. Ed. (2007), and #30 on AFI's 100 Years...100 Cheers (2006). I am trying to get more classics into my film routine.
story: 4.5/5--it's an adventure tale that is too unbelievable to be fiction
visuals: 4.5/5--truly extraordinary. Filmed on location in Morocco, Jordan, Spain, and elsewhere
acting: 5/5--there is not one wrong note in this orchestra. Peter O'Toole is gorgeously handsome and loopy in the title role. Omar Sharif (Sherif Ali) is mesmerizing. Gamil Ratib (Majid) and Michel Ray (Farraj) provide a comic and sweet counterpoint to all the harrowing action.
intangibles: 3/5--this is an inordinately long movie. I get that it's epic, but ...sheesh....
Academy Award winner:
• Best Picture
• Best Director
• Best Cinematography
• Best Art Direction--Set Decoration, Color
• Best Sound
• Best Film Editing
• Best Music--Substantially Original Score
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Leading Actor--O'Toole
• Best Supporting Actor--Sharif
• Best Writing, Based on Material from Another Medium
overall: 4.25/5

[the title quotation is by Werner Herzog, from Herzog on Herzog]

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