I am taking medicine for it. It has been about 10 days since the prescription started, so it likely has not fully kicked in yet.
The reason for seeing my doctor now was that it seemed impossible to think something without feeling it (too much), or to feel something without thinking about it (endlessly). Intellectually, I knew that was screwy. Emotionally, there was nothing I could do about it - because it is not an emotional or intellectual choice, but a chemical imbalance. Something is wrong inside my brain chemistry. The medicine will make it better, once that is sorted out. It might be temporary (I hope) or maybe longer-term.
I sort of wanted to let this slide under the radar and not mention it here. It has become too big a deal not to let out, though. I know that I have said and done some inexplicable things lately, that seemed out of proportion to how others would perceive them. After the fact, I can see that. In the moment, I have been blinded to it.
So. That's that, for now.
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