and with that, she dared the bravest thing she'd ever done; she looked right into his eyes

 15 Questions

1. A person I like, and why I like them: a lady with whom I used to work, who is married to one of my childhood friends and is also the sister of a guy I dated during college. (Yes, this is a small town!) She is kind, no-nonsense, funny, forthright, outgoing, considerate, and asks good questions. We happen to be in vastly different circumstances in a lot of ways—family, politics, religion, money—but it doesn't matter. She's a friend.

2. A famous person with whom I've been compared: a combination of Drew Barrymore, Susan Sarandon, and Reese Witherspoon

3. Best thing that happened to me this week: this was a rough week! Umm, I guess it's probably when I was having a particularly tough day and one of my friends came over to the house with a bouquet of flowers and a nice note.

5. How I would spend $10,000: take someone I love on an surprising trip, and cover my bills for a couple months while finding just the right new job 

6. My last night out (in detail):

per COVID, my last night out was a night in. My favorite couple from work came over for a 'distant dinner.' I made baked linguine, which is just a smaller version of lasagna where I will not have leftovers for what seems like a year. They brought bread and beer. We ate antipasto (all right, so it was just dill pickles and green olives) and caught up, and then stuffed ourselves with the main course. After an hour or so, we had some spectacular ice cream for dessert. 

7. Something that makes me sad when I think about it:  it's getting to be cool enough at night that soon it'll be time to take in the Peruvian daffodils for the season

8. Something that's currently worrying me: money 

9. Something I do without realizing: rub the right side of my thumbnail with my index finger

10. A drunken story: when I was still underage, I had a bad scene with a guy from the theatre group at school. (My college has a solid theatre tradition so the group is a big deal.) I was angry and frustrated, and wanted to drink. I started driving around to friends' houses. Unfortunately, none of my usual "suppliers" were available to go to the liquor store for me. In desperation, I went to the apartment that my best friend's roommate's boyfriend shared with another guy (confused yet?), hoping that BFF's roommate's boyfriend would go out for me. Alas, he was not home—and I woke his roommate, who came to the door in California Raisins boxer shorts and nothing else. He had a test in the morning and had been asleep for a couple hours already. Awkward! After a tense couple of minutes' negotiations, he let me in, got dressed, took my $10 and walked to the store (a block away). Not 5 minutes later, he was back with my case of shit beer. 

He clearly expected me to take it and go, but curiosity and some misplaced chivalry won out. I was clearly ... well, not "distraught" but on edge at least, and it probably didn't seem right to just sent a skinny 19-year-old out into the night with a case of crap beer and a full dose of upset. So he made the huge mistake of accepting my offer to sit down and have one with me, before I left him to his sleep. And then he asked me to tell him what happened.

We drained the case. It took about 2 hours, which I recall specifically because it was over well before bar time. We sat across from each other and each kept our dead soldiers on our own sides of their shitty kitchen table. I told him all the gory details of what had led me there that night: stars in my eyes, an ill-advised hook-up, some pining, another hook-up with the same guy, a party attended so we "might run into each other", and then overhearing him (the bad guy) calling me "some 18-year-old bimbo" and complaining that I would not leave him alone. 

Sigh. I wasn't eighteen for crissakes.

I got some consolation, since I was drinking with someone who knew the bad guy and didn't like him at all. And I got some advice about making better choices and stiffening up my spine when I made the bad ones so the fall-out didn't knock me so far down. And I got some perplexing comfort in the fact that this guy, with whom I was talking, had been someone I'd avoided for a long time because we had been like oil and water since we had met...until a random conversation where he told me about his extracurricular girlfriend and asked for advice on getting away with cheating on his fiancée. That night opened our eyes toward each other in some new ways. 

I woke up on his couch the next morning, as he was getting out of his bed for class. It took a moment to recall where I was and what the hell, if anything, had happened. Reassured that it was just a stupid drunken talk-fest, I got up and started putting myself back together. I helped myself to a Coke from the fridge and a banana from the bunch in the hanging basket, and then started clearing the table. I counted the beer cans. He had had seven. I drank seventeen.

Oh - and about 18 months later, we were married.

11. Something I regret: every short haircut I've ever had

12. Five things within reaching distance: a cup of hot tea, a pink nail file, "dreamsicle" lip balm, a rack of CDs and movies, and a corduroy throw pillow that is comfortable to nap with but leaves marks on your face when you do

13. Something I have lied about: tattoos

14. Lyrics that apply to my current mood: "I'm prepared to look you in the eye—look me in the eye" [REM, "Walk Unafraid"]

15. My longest relationship:  my best friend from kindergarten FB messaged me this week to try and set up a get-together. We plan to have lunch with her (teenaged) daughter and talk about our good old days. 

[from here; the title quotation is by William Goldman, from The Princess Bride]