polka dots on my body, merging with those in the background, create an optically strange scene

1. How old is the oldest expired thing in your refrigerator?  my fridge is pretty sparse. Almost everything in there is fine, except a head of iceberg lettuce that's prehaps bunny food.

2. What's the weirdest thing you've ever done on a date?  I went out once with a guy from the grocery store. We weren't exactly friends, and the "date" was a sort of...compelled, the result of a bet. The payoff was the two of us spending the following evening together. It didn't turn out quite as planned, if there was ever a plan at all. We drove for a while, not yet hungry or ready to settle in any specific place. 

We ended up driving the entire night. Not a couple hours - it was more like eight. I filled the car with gas midway through. We stopped for snacks twice. We talked almost nonstop. It was a weird night. And around 2:00 in the morning, I dropped him at his house. We didn't kiss, hug, or even shake hands - and (other than at work) never spoke again. 

3. What animal most closely resembles your eating style? a finicky house-cat named Bella

4. Have you ever sent someone a text you didn't mean to?  not that I know of? But I've gotten plenty of misdirected texts, probably because my name tends to be toward the top of most peoples' contacts lists. And because my name is so regrettably common.

5. If you could learn any language fluently, which would it be?  Aleut

6. Would you rather be bald or covered head to toe with hair?  bald, clearly. I would not make a good furry.

7. Do you think you're brave?  yes. Not in a street fight way, more like standing up for what I believe is right.

8. What horror fiction character scares you the most?  the scariest character I've encountered was Gary Oldman's Stansfield, from Léon (The Professional)

9. What food do you crave more than any other?  at the moment it's hot, fresh chips and mild-medium salsa. Always salt.

10. Which holiday would you erase from the calendars, if you could?  Valentine's Day

11. What's the most clever word you know?  depends on the moment! Yesterday it was "whaddup?"

12. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?  not at the moment, no. It's still the mystery it ought to be.

13. What do you collect that nobody knows about?  teapots and other ceramics that are polka-dotted. We are currently under negotiation, this collection and I, about whether and where its component parts will be displayed.

14. Have you ever eaten only candy for dinner?  maybe when I was really little, on Halloween night, but even that is unlikely. We were usually stuffed full of supper so that we could not over-indulge after trick or treat.

15. Have you ever taken anything illegally across the border?  well, yes. When I was 18, I carried a case of wine (yes, a case) across the river. Does that count?

16. Have you ever blown your nose in anything other than a tissue?  yes

17. Are you a good time manager?  not all the time. It's not about motivation or the size of the project, but where my head is at the moment.

18. Has life been hard on you?  worse than some, better than a lot

19. What is the absolute worst song in the world?  "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. I couldn't recall the title so I googled "stalker song"; guess what popped up?! 

20. What is your culinary specialty?  grilled ham & cheese

[from here; the title quotation is by Yayoi Kusama]