heeeeey, grades are not cool—learning is cool

 from Fun Questions to Ask

 

1. What would you name your boat if you had one?  "Whaddup Buoy??"

2. What's the closest thing to real magic?  long, slow hugs

3. Who is the messiest person you know?  the coworker with whom I share an office wall. His outsized desk is heaped with files, with more on one of his reception chairs and on the floor as well as a towering pile on his sideboard. He asked me for a couple of plants about a year ago. Since I am working from home now and cannot check in on them periodically, I assume that they are now deceased. His office is where productivity and organization go to die.

4. What will finally break the internet?  men's special interest literature...

5. What's the most useless talent you have?  recollection of useless data

6. What would be on the gag reel of your life?  fingers and toes breaking, getting stabbed in the leg by a [future] cop, making out behind the movie theater...directly in front of my parents' car (NOT on purpose!), driving too fast in the snow and sliding through an intersection at Main Street (as busy as it sounds), getting drunk off my ass at a rugby party and then winning in a hopping-on-one-foot race—only to tear my rotator cuff during my victory dance.... 

7. Where is the worst-smelling place you've been?  there's a town about 100 minutes from here, a sort of crossroads for north/south travel, that happens to be the site of some paper mills. If you've never smelled a paper mill... it is a unique, pungent, and unforgettably sinus-clearing experience. No one is going to hang out there to enjoy the scents.

8. What celebrity would you rate as a perfect 10?  no one on the planet is a perfect ten

9. What's a body part that you wouldn't mind losing?  the very tip of my nose, or the stiff, lumpy muscles in my shoulders

10. What is the dumbest way you've been injured?  is there a smart way to be injured? That rotator cuff tear in #6, above, was pretty damned stupid. Pushing someone's buttons until they threw me through a glass door was dumb, too.

12. What are the worst and best purchases you've ever made?  worst: an "improved" exercise bike that made my knee ache         best: my blue Ikea chair

14. What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults?  'encouragement' to set or meet certain goals

15. What's your biggest screw-up in the kitchen?  I have never once made Rice Krispie bars worth a damn

17. What is the craziest thing one of your teachers ever did?  my college mentor regularly took one of his classes on a field trip to a funeral home. My class was not able to go because they had a body show up at the last minute. That was kind of crazy.

18. When did you screw everything up, but no one ever found out it was you?  I'm not going to take credit for a fuck-up that nobody knows about!

19. What problem or situation did TV/movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out wasn't?  encountering clearly, outlandishly cool people like the Fonz

 20. What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." The absolute truth is that what doesn't kill you can kick you in the ass, tear you down, and make you want to die. 

21. What's something your brain tries to make you do and you have to will yourself not to do it?  walk away from my job 

22. If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?  "What is the most profitable investment that I could make with the money that I have right now?" 

23. What are the most interesting things you've read or seen this week?  a disembodied head (no, not for real), the inside of a casino or two, a Starbucks with no pastries, the murder capital of the country, and a couple whose socks are holey

24. What ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into doing?  bending my right leg over my head—just because I can 

25. If you were given a one-minute ad slot during the Super Bowl that you couldn't sell, what would you fill it with?  an extremely racy ad for a certain eBay shop that sells a unique product line to clientele who probably watch the Super Bowl 

 

[from here; the title quotation is by "Fonzie", from Happy Days]