it's taken me all my life to learn what not to play

  from 351 good questions to ask

287. What's the most rage-inducing game you've ever played?  air hockey—but only against one particular (extremely mild-mannered) person, who made me want to murder him and burn down his village when we played that game

290. What job doesn't now exist but will exist in the future?  mask designer to the stars

291. What awful movie do you love?  I'm getting stuck on the word "love." There are plenty of awful movies that I enjoy or watch regularly. 'Love,' though, in a movie, is reserved for a different feeling. 

    If I had to answer, though, I would choose Corrina, Corrina with Whoopi Goldberg and Ray Liotta.

292. What normally delicious food gets ruined when you wrap it in a tortilla?  scrambled eggs with bacon

293. What's your best example of 'fake it 'til you make it'?  attending hoity-toity parties as a (very) young married person, trying to pretend I was self-assured and socially comfortable when in truth I was barely 22 years old, truly homesick for the first time in my life, bewildered by being away from my family and friends and spending all my time with my new husband (who was not as he had been before), and awkwardly trying to adapt to social events that involved wine and cheese rather than beer and pizza. That was the launch of my fake public smile. 

294. What were you completely certain of until you found out you were wrong?  my ability to find a new, better job—quickly

295. What's something that gets progressively weirder the more you think about it?  my eyes have started to refuse to work well together, as tends to happen as people age. For most people who wear soft contacts, this is the end of that road, the start of either hard contacts or glasses. However, because my eye doctor knows me and my oddly-constructed and -routed brain so well, he proposed a radical solution: one contact for near vision, and one for far. This isn't completely unheard of, but profoundly rare. 

I put them in and my eye doctor asked me to read something far, then something near, and then asked me how I felt. "Fine, why?" He hadn't warned me that most people who try it are immediately dizzy to the point of vomiting. I don't understand why it works for me, or how my brain can make that input make sense, but it has. 

296. What's the cutest thing you can imagine—something so cute it's almost painful?  a book of photographs of cats yawning, meowing, or otherwise with their mouths open

297. If you were given unlimited resources, how would you lure the worst of humanity into one stadium at the same time? ...money??

298. What do you think about when you hear the word "classy"?  "trying too hard"

299. What near-future predictions do you have?  pretty sure I've got an idea of how the presidential election will turn out

300. What do you need help with most often?  car stuff

[from here; the title quotation is by Dizzy Gillespie]