11.23.2020

the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state

141. In what situations do you act least like yourself?  meetings with my boss
142. What do you value most?  being seen, for real
143. What sound fills you with dread?  tornado sirens
144. What word describes you better than any other word?  indescribable
146. What are you really obsessed about?  staying in touch with people who matter to me
147. Who or what is holding you back? my seatbelt
148. How often do you get into arguments with people on the internet?  the internet-ness of it has nothing to do with it. I don't argue with people I don't know face to face. Sometimes we argue face to face, sometimes by text or email, sometimes by phone. That's life.
149. How adventurous are you?  quite
150. What do you want to get out of life?  you can't take it with you, so "get" is not on my list
152. What’s the most painful text you’ve ever received?  "You know about Chris, right?"
153. What event in your past has come back to haunt you?  so much haunting in so many ways. At the moment it's opening a door that probably ought to have remained closed.
154. What are some things you hid from your parents?  some books; the minus marks I earned in the Refrains from Unnecessary Talking category on my grade school report cards; and the alcohol in my college apartments (since I was underage)
155. What was the most awkward moment you had at school?  I was invited to the home of my college mentor by his wife (she was my academic advisor and another of my favorite profs), for his birthday. They were having a family party and he wanted me to be there. I was 18, maybe 19, at the time, and had none of the poise and aplomb that I do today (which means that on a scale from one to ten, it ranked around negative five). My lack of confidence convinced me that they'd asked me solely because they felt sorry for pathetic little me, so I declined, citing a previous engagement.
    Looking back on that, of course, I would do anything to have sucked up my courage and gone to the party. I was a little bit in love with him, and their family. My (solely) intellectual crush has lasted three decades, in fact. It's awful to look at myself and see 'what might have been' being my own fault, due to this failure to believe in myself. That's far worse than any coincidental, external problems that cannot be controlled.
156. What was the cleverest thing you did as a child?  writing a story called "The Green Opal Ring"
157. What unique games or activities did you play as a child?  roof volleyball. I bumped and set a volleyball off of our house roof for years, when there was no one else available to play with me
158. What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen at a job you’ve had?  while I was making copies at the library's public copier, a man walked past me to the restroom. He was wearing flip flops, cargo shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a gas mask. I didn't think anything of it—that's how strange it was to work at the public library!
159. What was your worst injury as a child?  worst that happened to me was breaking my clavicle at eighteen months. I screamed my pain for a day at least, so it was a 'worst' shared by my whole family. 
    Worst self-inflicted injury was when I decided to run track, and settled on hurdles because they're cool. I'm guessing the Olympics must have just occurred? Anyway, I set up some hurdles in our back yard and got into "training"—until I hit the first one. The hurdles were saw-horses and planks, heavy as hell, and I nearly broke my fucking toes off when I nailed it. No more of that stupid shit; I was laid up with a sprained ankle and several black & blue toes for a couple of weeks. I might have been 10 years old?
160. What’s the most famous you’ve been?  this post of mine—from November 23, 2013—has been hit thousands of times, including many days when it has been hit by hundreds of viewers. I don't understand what sets it apart, but it's cool!

[cut from here; the title quotation is by Neil Gaiman, from American Gods]

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