healthy introspection, without undermining oneself; it is a rare gift to venture into the unexplored depths of the self, without delusions or fictions, but with an uncorrupted gaze

These questions and prompts are from an article about learning to take better care of yourself. It's a sort of self-appraisal. I am in that mode because my hire date just passed at work, so I had my annual evaluation (after three postponements that were beyond my control). The questions are open-ended, so I'll answer as well as I can.

What are 2-3 ways I could be more loving? 

• As I write this, it is Friday afternoon. I am on a break from work. It's been a good day after a busy, often frustrating week. I had a running chat conversation with my closest departmental colleague throughout the day that was both productive and extremely funny. I am often too hard on him. He really does try to be a friend—and support—to me, and I should cut him more slack.

• I could text more questions than statements with my friends.

What did I learn today and how am I going to use it?     my drill fits hex shank bits, not round shanks. How am I going to use it? Uhm, with hex shank bits.

What if today was my last day on Earth? Would you fill your day with the same activities? Are there people you would want to mend relationships with? Are there people or places you don’t want to spend your time on?    just love. No mending. Just love.

What am I grateful for?     citrus fruits, wool socks, funny friends, squirrels, and black-and-white photography

If I continue doing what I’ve been doing every day, where will I be in 1 year or 5 years?     wading through hip-deep stacks of my own good writing, happily

Am I who I want to be?     I'm getting there

Am I reading often enough?     I go through reading phases, and this is not one of them. As light as my house is (and it is blinding on a sunny day at 2:00 in the afternoon), it is dark to read in the dead of winter.

When is the last time I stepped out of my comfort zone?     I asked a few friends (acquaintances, more like) for a favor. Not for me, but for a mutual friend.

How long has it been since you committed a random act of kindness for a stranger?     I complimented the shoes of someone in my doctor's office the last time I was there

How much of my daily time do I use wisely?     67%

Do I generally have an optimistic outlook on life or a pessimistic one?     it varies widely, but probably more up than down lately

Do I live authentically?     I'd like to think that I do, but that is hard to answer. Is it a yes-or-no question? All or nothing? Or is it a sliding scale? Pretty sure I live more authentically than some other people in my circle, and far more so than I did before. 

    There are some parts of my life that are necessarily private, though I don't feel like my refusal to share them is "unauthentic" so much as "discreet."

Do I wake up with hope and excitement for the new day?     This question actually made me laugh out loud. I wake up slowly, groggily, and reluctantly. It's not that I'm unhappy to be alive or angry at the birds for singing—it's physically difficult for me to wake up. 'Hope and excitement for the new day.' HA

Do I take time to nurture my relationships? Do I invest enough time and effort into sustaining the relationships I want in my life? Have I taken steps to end those relationships that are not healthy or that always drain me?

I'm getting better with the positive ones, still having a harder time with the negative ones. I'm making an effort to remind the people I care about that they are special to me. 

    There are a couple of ... let's say 'problematic' relationships that I need to address. One involves resetting boundaries, and the other requires asking for the return of some things that were borrowed. Awkward.

Do I make time to care for my physical body?     not enough, no. I sleep well and drink more than enough water, which is a great start. My diet has not been so good lately, I do not get enough or the right kinds of exercise, and my posture sucks again.

    On the plus side of that: my last couple of grocery orders were dialed back toward healthy, I have a plan to acquire a bike (which will help get my exercise routine back on track), and my wall-sharing buddy at the office has offered to help me smuggle my chair home from work. That would sort out posture issues in a big way.

Do I worry too much?     all worry is too much. It doesn't solve anything. I think I'm getting better at not wasting too much energy on that.

What are the things I have overcome in my life?     no one will be writing any protest songs on my behalf anytime soon. Though it has not always been easy, I hardly perceive my past as something to be "overcome."

[from here; the title quotation is by Friedrich Nietzsche, from Unpublished Writings from the Period of Unfashionable Observations]