take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop thinking and go in

1. How could I have better helped my loved ones accomplish their goals?  I could be more supportive and less judgmental and exacting. Setting and keeping appropriate boundaries would help, too.

2. Did I give myself the time and resources needed to accomplish my goals?  probably yes, under the circumstances. Job-hunting under COVID limitations and with anxiety and depression has been way more challenging (read: discouraging) than anticipated, but there's no way to the other side except to slog through the swamp.

 1. How can I measure the progress, timeline and success of my goals this year?  very easily. One of my goals is yes/no, and the other is a number.

2. How can I create a set of goals that have clear, definable results?  see above. My goals with clear, definable results are as follows: 

(a) secure a new job - with my own personal criteria, of course

(b) lose a certain amount of weight

 1. If I never saw my partner again, would I be happy with the last thing I said to them?  God, no. I mean, recent communications have been funny, delicate, smart... but our last face to face conversation was wretched. I regret that deeply.

2. What is one thing I could have done to be a better partner this year?  my partner for the majority of this year would probably say that I didn't need to "do" anything to be "better." That is something we've discussed/debated at length. 

    I learned a lot about being a partner this year. Maybe we both did. Chilled out, let go of some long-standing rules, tried some new things (and a few old things), and even just winged it. A lot of it worked, some of it kinda bombed, and we both made it through the other side.

 1. How can I show more gratitude for my partner’s efforts?  well, that would depend on the partner,

wouldn't it? Different people want different things. "Love languages" and all that. I'm a card-writing, bear-hugging, sweet-nothing-bombing truth-teller. Some of that is OK, and a lot of that is a bit much. I'm coming to realize that sometimes my best move is to just hold back. That doesn't mean lying, just recognizing someone else's boundaries.

2. Do I still want the same things as my partner?  that would depend on the partner. I think I would chafe at wanting too much/many of the exact same things as a partner. That's how things were (or seemed to be) with H; we were too much alike, so at some point I think we stopped being interesting to each other as separate individuals. Our circles overlapped too much. 

    My ideal would be a small amount of overlap, a slightly bigger amount of similarity but not exact match, and then maybe the other half 'compatible differences'—by which I mean dissimilar but not diametrically opposed opinions, feelings, preferences, interests, callings, virtues, vices, etc.

 1. What have I done to improve my self-confidence this year?  revised expectations and plans for what I need and want. Reconsidered the application of "perfectionism" to my life. Changed some of my wardrobe.

2. What have I done to be kind to myself this year?  changed my hairstyle to something both more flattering and with less maintenance. Started taking bubble baths again. And eased away from a couple of relationships that were more stressful than supportive.

 1. What am I worried about this coming year?  money.

3. What do I need to change about the way I think of myself this coming year?  I would love to stop thinking so much. Some of the best times that I had in 2020 (and in my whole life) were when I was not thinking, just feeling and doing and living. Winging it.

    Let go of the wheel and let the wind steer for a while. That's what I want.

 1. Did I reach the career milestones or goals I wanted to this year? If no, why not?  No. Part of it is the job market, which was strange this year because of the virus and shutdown orders. Part of it is depression and anxiety, making it hard to focus or motivate. Anyway, I'm still trying.

2. Over the past year, did I make every effort to collaborate with and get along with my coworkers?  "EVERY"? Good lord no. I tried hard with a couple of them, and made an effort with another two.

 1. What are three tangible career goals I can set for myself this coming year?  screw tangible. How about happiness, satisfaction, good challenges? Appreciation, respect, and dedication. Caring about my job and the people I work with—that's my career goal.

2. If I want a promotion or raise, how can I do everything in my power to deserve it?  I just got one, which in this market and with my boss is somewhat surprising. 

    If I want a real, significant pay change or change in position that will have an effect on my quality of life, I will need to leave the company.

3. Am I in the job or on the career path that is truly right for me? If no, why not?  not hardly. Let's say that this is a path I was meant to be on for the time being, but it is not my lifelong dream of a career. 

[from here; the title quotation is attributed to Napoleon Bonaparte]