introversion. I don't mean that disingenuously or ironically. There are times when what I want, more than anything else, is to be by myself—whether because something is 'wrong' or because I feel like the tank is low and I need to refill it. My tank refills by when I read, watch TV, blog, or otherwise being by myself for a while. However, those times are not necessarily compatible with other peoples' plans and schedules, or running with the unexpected, or just with being a good friend. It can be a fine balance between all those things and with taking care of myself. Thus, sometimes I push my natural introversion to the side in favor of some other need.
2. How do you deal with criticism?
I presume that most people feel this way: it depends on the nature and method of the criticism. If I go out looking for it (such as asking friends' advice on the quality of my resume), then I try hard to accept it in the spirit in which it was offered and remember to be thankful for it.
If it is suggested and I agree to it, then I try to do the above.
If it is proffered without prior agreement, then I take it or leave it.
If it is forced on me, then I resist it strongly.
And if it is declared publicly, then—regardless of accuracy—I will snap back sharply.
3. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
'sweet' is relative. I have friends who say 'I love you' every time I see them (or by text, etc.), openly and easily. I have a friend who regularly gives gifts, for holidays or no reason at all. I have another friend who buys lunch whenever we get together.
Sweetness is taking the opportunity, and sometimes going out of your way, to help or make someone know that they are meaningful and special to you.
4. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?
any of the Chances from David James Duncan's The Brothers K. They have lived in my mind and heart for thirty years and the opportunity to crack their brains would be wonderful.
5. Who would you say is your “anti-” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?
there are so many! Reality TV actors, "celebrities" who are known for no reason other than being famous, girls from high school who are still impressed by status. Those in my 'profession' who behave badly (and there are loads of stereotypes in this category that are accurate).
6. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents (or caregiver) do?
share my personal information with people with whom I would not choose to share it
7. Which movie character do you most identify with?
Henry Fool. The movie itself, and the trilogy of which it is the first part, is difficult to explain. Henry, though, is summed up as an egocentric bum; an odd bird and aspiring writer; a homeless drifter with a deep, wise voice; or "a self-styled philosopher and intellectual with a shady past."
8. You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?
my weapon is invisibility, and my tagline is "My feelings will not be repressed!"
9. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?
as has been reported previously, I am occasionally called into service as a pet-sitter. My nicknames for that pet are widely varied and increasingly ridiculous. The oddest that I am willing to admit is "babycakes." (Given the recipient of this endearment, it is pretty damned odd.)
10. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?
drinking Coke. I still like the taste, but the bubbles, intense caffeine and sugar are no longer appealing. That all started when I first got a cavity between my front teeth a few years ago, and was capped off when I started making a concerted effort to lose weight and realized just how much damage the addiction had done to me.
12. Describe your dream library.
two comfortable chairs and one big squishy couch. A wide, comfortable window seat. An end table next to each place to sit. Writing paper and good pens. Built-in shelves filled with fiction, mystery, romance, poetry, biography, photography, and books about books. A couple of plants. Lots of outlets for charging. Both natural and reading light. Thick carpet or rugs. Integrated speakers and (quiet) music.
14. Do you have any “rules” about food?
soggy food is unappealing to me, which in practice usually means that I do not like my foods to "touch." At a picnic, I want to keep my potato chips away from my Jell-o salad. When grilling, I want to keep my hamburger bun away from my buttery corn on the cob. At a brunch, I would want to keep my danish away from the maple syrup on my pancakes.
This also means that I dislike auto-soggy foods like open-face sandwiches, panini, or mayonnaise in any format.
15. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
as long as all participants are at or above the age of consent in the jurisdiction and have capacity to make decisions, I have no comment at all, because my opinion (or anyone else's) does not matter
16. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?
I want to see the national parks that have been the setting of Nevada Barr's 'Anna Pigeon' mystery series
17. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.
I would go back to age 24. I would enjoy it WAY more, knowing what I know now, and I would turn myself inside out to maintain some aspects of life that I totally let go at that time.
[from here; the title quotation is by Lao Tzu]
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