3. Is there anything wrong with your relationship?
there's something wrong with every relationship. No such thing as perfect, after all—it has lumps in it.
Anyway, what would that look like? Never arguing? Complete, unspoken accord in all things? Pizza toppings, vacation destinations, color to paint the bedroom? Someone whose past, psyche, hope & dreams, wardrobe, musical taste, preferred foods, sleeping schedule (and side of the bed), sexual appetite, driving style, and general demeanor are totally congruent with their partner's?
4. What was your first love like?
I'm assuming that in this context, "first love" is the first reciprocated relationship where one or both participants thought of it in those terms. Not crushes, not unrequited yearning, and not exceedingly temporary experiences that taught more about unrealistic expectations than they did about real connection.
My first love was in college, first year. I was a young 18-year-old. Young because I still lived at home, still worked my first job, was still friends mostly with people I'd been friends with for years. My world hadn't expanded yet. Through my major (History) classes, I came into the orbit of an older guy, a military man who'd traveled the world before settling into college life. I liked him, he liked me, and our friends liked us together. It was pretty hot & heavy, until some odd things started to seem like clues. The story was extraordinarily fun, kind of racy, a little trashy, and the ending was just sad.
5. How was your relationship with your siblings when you were young?
my brother - 5 years older than me - was absent much of the time, either literally (he had a job from a very young age) or figuratively (he's far, far more solitary and self-contained even than I am!). As a result, we really didn't know each other all that well, and interacted on a level that was pretty polite and non-confrontational. My takeaway from that time was that he liked having a younger sister...that he wasn't too beholden to.
My 4-years-older sister was omnipresent, aggressive, manipulative, and belligerent. For the first 13 or so years of my life, we were both lodged in a bedroom that was terribly small for two such disparate people. We shared a space, but no sensibilities at all. Lasting impression of her, then? That she resented and disliked both the idea of a younger sibling and me, specifically, and took every opportunity she could find to make sure I knew how disappointing and awful I was.
6. Were you ever betrayed by a friend?
of course. It's likely that everyone has been, to some extent - and I've probably given as much as I've gotten, in that area.
Recently, though, I was weirdly, repeatedly ghosted by a college friend. He contacts me, insists that our decades of friendship mean a great deal to him, that we must stay in touch, that he's absolutely committed to it. We send a few messages back and forth, and then...nothing. Oh, all right, guess we're done, again.
And then, a while later...God, I'm sorry, things got hard, I feel so bad about this. But our decades of friendship mean a great deal to me, we have to stay in touch.... So I try again, right? Because this is someone I've known since I was 18 years old. He was in my wedding. We managed to stay in contact at least once a year for decades. He mattered to me. I try again, we send a few messages back and forth, and then...nothing.
Well, there's a limit, and I've reached it. Even if he has a death in the family (done), an accident (done), needs legal advice (done), a job change (done), or trying to arrange a reunion (done and done and done) - our friendship is in the past, no longer a future.
7. Do you like using public transport?
not as such. It is undeniably inconvenient, smelly, and involves a lack of control. However, it's also easy, cheap, and sometimes far better than the do-it-yourself option. Call it a necessary evil.
8. How do you see your best friend?
not often. Once every couple of months, maybe - making those times all that much more treasured. It's not about the frequency but the quality of the connection. (And lots of text messages and calls in between.)
9. Do you often call your parents?
no, but I see them twice a week
10. Did you ever bully anyone in school?
yep, and it makes me feel small and mean. I wasn't the worst of them, but my conscience is not clean, either.
11. If you had kids, what would you do differently from what your parents did?
see #5, above—my kids would sure as Hell not share a room unless they wanted to
12. Who do you think was the true villain in Breaking Bad (or some other TV series or movie)?
I've never seen Breaking Bad, so I'll try to answer this with something else... ooh! An obscure movie that was mainstream when it came out: Tequila Sunrise (1988). The IMBD synopsis: "A
former L.A. drug dealer tries to go straight but his past and his
underworld connections bring him into the focus of the DEA, the Mexican
feds and the Mexican drug cartels." It's a fucking beautiful film, intricate and sexy, funny and charming. Who's the hero? Who's the villain? Just thinking about the brilliant twistiness of this movie makes me want to watch it again. (And - I think the villain was Hal.)
[from here; the title quotation is from Tequila Sunrise]
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