do you like me as much as your old farm?

I'm fairly certain that no human has ever watched these five movies within the same week...or maybe ever.

Caddyshack (1980) - "Something fishy is going on at the elitist Bushwood Country Club, and the scheming president of the clubhouse, Judge Elihu Smails, has something to do with it. But suave golf guru Ty Webb and distasteful, filthy rich construction magnate Al Czervik are on to him. Meanwhile, young caddie Danny Noonan struggles to get his life back on track, and the only way to do it is by winning the demanding Caddie Day golf tournament, a prestigious competition that can earn him a scholarship from the judge himself. Now, war breaks out and all bets are off. Will Danny ever make his dream come true? Does he know that a subterranean menace is threatening to put in jeopardy everyone's plans?"
source: TV
I watched it because: I think I'm fundamentally incapable of not watching it
IMDB: 7.2/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 72% Audience: 87%
my IMDB: 8/10

AFI: 100 Years…100 Laughs (2000) #71

    10 Top 10 (2008) Sports #7

notable quote: "'A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.'"

MPAA rating: R

directed by: Harold Ramis

my notes: I adore this movie. It works on a golf level (be the ball), as a teenage comedy (I'm late), definitely in the romance department (you were born to rub me, too), and of course as deep and scathing social commentary about class and gender.

overall: very much recommended

12 Monkeys (1995) - "Terry Gilliam's nightmarish low-tech/high-tech future vision takes place in 1997, after a deadly virus has killed 99% of the human population--forcing the survivors to flee beneath our planet's surface. This leaves the (other) animals topside, to rule the Earth once again. The scientists select James Cole, an imprisoned sociopath, to return to the past and gather information useful in the defense against this contagion. Once back in time, he is to investigate the mysterious 'Army of the Twelve Monkeys' and report his findings. Scientific, social, and political themes like time travel (and its inherent paradoxes and nested loops), mental illness, the nature of reality, animal rights, and the Armageddon-potential of unchecked technological advances are artfully and cleverly explored."

source: I borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: I'm on a quest to see everything Bruce Willis has done, which seems to fall into Nicolas Cage-like categories of Awesome or Sucky
IMDB: 8.0/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 88% Audience: 88%
my IMDB: 5/10

notable quote: "I'm an innocent victim in here! I was attacked by a coked up whore and a, a fuckin' crazy dentist!"

MPAA rating: R

directed by: Terry Gilliam

my notes: I didn't get it, and spent most of the film trying to catch up - even backing it up a couple times to re-watch stuff that was completely bewildering. I like movies that are intricate and twisty but this was just not in my realm.

Academy Award nominee:
• Best Supporting Actor—Brad Pitt

• Best Costume Design—Julie Weiss
overall: slightly recommended

Drums Along the Mohawk (1939) - "'Gil' Martin, a civilized man from the East coast colonies, finds himself a loving bride, 'Lana', and takes her West to start a homestead in the Mohawk Valley. Gil joins the Minutemen, but when Indians attack the rebellious colonists, instigated by the British, their home and belongings go up in flames, Lana loses their baby. Destitute, they move in with wealthy widow Mrs. McKlennar (Edna May Oliver) who is happy to put them up in her fine estate in exchange for work, but the horrors of war catch up. Even the fort isn't safe."

source: borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: Henry Fonda is actor #20 on IMDB, which to me means he's good and he's historically significant.
IMDB: 7.0/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: 82% Audience: 60%
my IMDB: 7/10

notable quote: "Barney McKlennar was a real man. When he kissed you, you stayed kissed!"

MPAA rating: approved

directed by: John Ford

my notes: starring a very young and handsome Henry Ford, accompanied by my personal favorite Claudette Colbert, this is packed with fine historical action - albeit interspersed with way too much hysterical female weeping. It succeeds in showing the way war was a part of everyday life, and also the effect that such a life had on previously sheltered ladies.
Academy Award nominee: Best Supporting Actress—Edna May Oliver
overall:  recommended

Lloyd's of London (1936) - "As a young lad, Jonathan Blake and his friend Horatio Nelson come across an insurance fraud. Jonathan travels to London to visit Lloyd's coffee house, where various syndicates insure shipping ventures. Jonathan's information saves the syndicates a good deal of money and as his reward he asks only that he be allowed to learn the trade. As an adult he becomes a successful insurance underwriter and his syndicate becomes quite profitable. A crisis occurs when they learn that 63 ships were sunk off the Azores by Napoleon's navy. Insurance rates rise dramatically and ship owners refuse to go to sea. Jonathan underwrites at the old rates in order to ensure Nelson can use his fighting ships in battle and not as convoy ships. Nelson's victory at Trafalgar means the British navy will rule the seven seas."

source: borrowed the DVD from my parents' collection
I watched it because: I was intrigued by an action film that's also a scandalous romance that's also a (slightly) historically accurate portrayal of the start of the modern insurance practice
IMDB: 6.9/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: 55%
my IMDB: 7/10

notable quote: "I can't imagine anything worse than being in love with someone you never can hope to marry."

MPAA rating: approved (TV-PG)

directed by: Henry King

my notes: Definitely weird, the type of movie that would never be made today. It drew me in, though, and kept me watching throughout. The historical bits are enough to hold it together (go, Admiral Nelson!), while the insurance theme is surprisingly action-oriented. The romance is a little less compelling, though George Sanders as the supercilious Lord Stacy is a delicious bad guy.
Academy Award nominee:
• Best Art Direction—William S. Darling

• Best Film Editing—Barbara McLean
overall:  recommended

 

Shanghai Affairs (1998) - "A Shanghai doctor named Tong Shan is trying to help the town's poor people. Meanwhile, he has the murderous Axe Gang to deal with as well as his feelings for the gang leader's sister."
source: streamed on Vudu
I watched it because: I like Donnie Yen
IMDB: 5.7/10  -  Rotten Tomatoes: Tomatometer: N/A% Audience: 40%
my IMDB: 6/10

MPAA rating: NR

directed by: Donnie Yen

my notes: paper-thin storyline barely holds together some spectacular (for the day) fight scenes. Yen is as good as ever, and Rongguang Yu's gang leader Yue Lo-Chi is terrifically cold and wacko, a la Tony Montana. Still, at 90 minutes it feels overlong and strains credulity even in a big fan of Hong Kong martial arts movies.

overall: marginally recommended

[the title quotation is from Drums Along the Mohawk]