folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be

    Several years ago, I wrote this post, in which I shared—in its entirety—an essay called "You Can't Catch Me!", written by George Felton. It's the story of a man who resists meaningful connections, and the results of that choice on his life and happiness.

    A few weeks ago, a friend shared this brief piece that mirrored Felton's, though from the other side of the coin:

    You could ask someone to help you wash the dishes every night for a couple of years, and with every ask, you could express how it bothers you that you have to ask. You could let them know that you wish they would just do it because they should want to help you anyway - and with every expressed frustration, they heavily sigh and roll their eyes, but they do help. 

    Then, by the 731st night, you don't want to have to ask. You say, "You know what? l'm tired of having to ask you to help me. Not only is it annoying to have to ask, but you complain when I do. I don't think I want to be with someone I have to ask to do the dishes." 

    So you split, and then they'll run around telling the story that you broke up with them over a few dishes - when it was so much more than that. 

    Moral: People will weaponize your last straw. They will tell the story in a way that makes you look irrational. Sometimes, there's nothing you can really do about that. But you know what you know, and those close to you know, and the spirit knows. 

[originally posted by Allie Skinner, Apr 17 2023, and edited for flow]

    Dumb fights are dumb, yeah. Breaking up with someone over the dishes, or their choice of critical words regarding your wardrobe, or even for their preference for their phone over the people in the room, might be dumb, too. But it's way worse to continue accepting disregard, deliberate rudeness, and slights.

 

[the title quotation is from Abraham Lincoln]