kiss me, and you will see how important I am

IF... 

 

• ...you could have someone surprise you by doing one thing (other than give you a thing, a physical item), what would you want them to do? 

    it would be splendid to have someone do something for me, start to finish. Figure out what's causing me problems, work out an answer, and fix it. Big or small, that would be a real gift.

• ...you could pump enormous amounts of money into one area of scientific research, what would it be
for?

     migraine treatment, including a way to convey to others how it actually feels—like the period pain simulator, which has been eye-opening in the extreme for those brave enough to try it.

    Migraines are more than just "a really bad headache." In fact, sometimes it's not actually a headache, or other pain, at all. Symptoms include those at right: throbbing head pain, often just on one side (mine are on the right, from behind my eye down into my neck); visual distortions (I get flashing lights, though only rarely); confusion or trouble talking (I get some "brain fog" sort of confusion but it is rare and barely noticeable); sensitivity to light, noise, and smells (YES always, and it always makes the whole thing worse if I can't stop or get away from it); nausea and vomiting (maybe five times since I was 17); mood changes (consider this range of symptoms and multiply by as many as 4 attacks per week - would your mood be affected?); stuffy nose (nope); face, neck, and scalp pain (yep, all of the above); dizziness (again, not all the time but when it happens there's no fighting it); and fatigue (which can be hard to differentiate from being-tired-because-you-have-a-headache, or -just-had-a-headache, or -did-something-that-may-cause-a-headache...).

    What helps? Sticking to a routine for stuff like sleep, hydration, alcohol use/non-use, exercise, stress level, etc. I give myself an injection every 28 days that does a good job of reducing the frequency and severity of attacks. I have one primary pain reliever that I use most of the time, assuming I catch it fast enough. If the pain has already set in, though, or is combined with severe pain elsewhere (neck, usually) I will take the secondary pain reliever that includes some extra ingredients. It also makes me lightheaded, and can affect my mood in surprising ways - so I try to avoid it wherever possible. The last option would be over the counter medicines that can sometimes kick it but only with larger doses. Regular massage helps. Listening to my body when it's telling me to stop doing dumb things (e.g. eating too much delicious but bad for me stuff) or that I'm due for good things (like taking regular walks, getting enough sleep, and shutting out extra stress). And remembering to have a life in and around and even during the pain.

• ...you were to describe true generosity by using an example you witnessed, what would you use? 

     the finance company for which I worked is renowned for public service. They sponsor nearly every event in the region, often at a high level. This necessarily entails all sorts of volunteer "opportunities" for the staff, who are encouraged (that's one word for it) to give generously of their time and money to support causes identified by the bank as worthy. 

    Some of my friends have worked tirelessly for these events, particularly the summer festival downtown (a week or so ago) and the holiday frenzy on behalf of the food shelf. The latter is particularly time-consuming, intense, and can be a massive financial drain at a time when many people try to be frugal. The first year that I worked there (for only two months of that year) I spent nearly $500 on various fundraisers, including a "costume battle" between the bigwigs, the (dubious) 'winner' of which spent some time dressed as a beloved holiday character, tights and all.

    I absolutely believe in giving to the extent that one feels capable. It blows my mind, though, to see a group of people (roughly 450 employees) supporting locals with food insecurity to the tune of $25,000 plus per year, enthusiastically and happily. That kind of generosity, both with time and with money, is easy to blow off when it's expressed in self-congratulatory press releases, but it really is genuine and inspiring up close.

• ...you had to name the one thing that has changed the most about growing up since your childhood, what would it be?

     sports and lessons (music, dance, theatre and so forth), which used to be extra and now are organized in a way that I can't even imagine. Like competitive preschools, I fear what we're doing to children in the guise of structure and "promotion" of their future. When I was a kid, kids could be kids without needing to lay the foundation for their post-graduate careers at the same time.

• ...you were to describe your first kiss, what would you say?

      it wasn't nearly as good as I thought at the time, and there was so much better to come! I do wish I'd held that gift back for a year or two.

    Can I describe my best kiss, instead? I met someone and fell, hard, almost entirely with words. When we finally kissed, it was even better than I'd hoped. Both a mind-blowing relief and an internal explosion of anticipation and promise and troubling desire. That kiss changed my life.

• ...you could communicate with any type of animal, which would you pick? 

    a housecat, of course!!

• ...you could have the original baseball card of any three players in history, who would they be?

     1952 Topps Mickey Mantle rookie card, 1914 Cracker Jack Ty Cobb, and 1989 Donruss Gary Gaetti #64.

 

 [from If2: 500 New Questions for the game of life; the title quotation is by Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath]