10.04.2024

take it easy, but take it

truth and lies
1. Do you think we'd be better or worse off if we always knew when we were being deceived? How might society be different if everyone had to tell the truth all the time? 
    Logically, if we always knew when we were being deceived, then we would never be deceived. The question, then, becomes "Do you think we'd be better or worse off if we were never deceived?" Because everyone could tell the truth or not, and the telling would not matter—the truth would be known, regardless.
    Is deception inherently bad? Does it serve any social or emotional purpose? Should people who don't tell the truth be shot on sight?
    It obviously serves a purpose. It feels good to tell a small lie ("it's delicious!") where the actual truth ("the food that you just made, especially for me, does not taste good") does nothing but hurt the recipient. This is the "does my butt look big in this dress" quality of untruth: if your significant other asks that question while wearing the dress, preparing to go to a party, there is NO value in telling the truth (which is opinion anyway, not fact). The time for revelations like that is not ripe. 
    There is also an emotional value to deception. Imagine being out with a work friend, not long after suffering a breakup. The friend asks how you're doing, knowing that something's been wrong but not having the details. "I'm good, thanks!" feels good to say, when the last thing you want to do is wallow, and when being out with friends distracts from the sadness. It might not be strictly true, but maybe it's a start.
The Truman Show - as life
2. If you could use a device to create a minute-by-minute archive of precisely where you'd been, would you? If so, what would you do with it, and would anything worry you about others getting the information?
 
    I absolutely would, but it would be scrubbed regularly to delete all the non-essential, embarrassing, or depressing content. Which would, on the average day, leave nothing behind. Most peoples' lives are a quiet hum of normal, interspersed with brief interruptions of fun, exciting, disturbing, or noteworthy (for example). Nobody needs a permanent record of me making tea for the millionth time, or repotting plants, or standing at the closet door internally whining that I have nothing to wear. However, there are lots of things in life whose significance we do not recognize until later. That sunset, so stunning that we walked outside to silently view it, together? That meal, the one that turned out particularly well—how, exactly, did I customize the recipe? The particularly endearing compliment, brushed off in the moment? The last time you reached out to hold my hand? The last of anything, really. I would love to be able to review those moments.
    Would anything worry me about others getting the information? Well, if that would be the case, then I ought to be worried about doing it in the first place. 
3. Do you believe in capital punishment? Would you be willing to pull the switch to execute a man sentenced to death if you were randomly selected by the courts to do so and knew he would go free if you refused? Assume you know nothing about his crime. 
    yes, I believe in capital punishment. I believe that there are actions that a person can take, decisions that a person can make, that are so bad that nothing, no other punishment, will serve. 
    The second question is stupidly implausible—he would go free if the random, putative switch-flipper got squeamish???—but equally stupidly easy to answer: Yes, I would. Switch-flipping, like jury duty, like driving on the right side of the road, like not "randomly" punching someone else in the face when they irritate me, is all part of the social contract: the price we pay for living in an 'evolved' society, where we can anticipate that others will participate and behave that way, too.
4. What is the most outrageous thing you've ever done? Do you look back on it more with pleasure or regret? 
    the most outrageous thing that I would share here is to fly to Dallas for a weekend with a man I'd never met in person. At the time, it made sense; looking back on it now, it seems completely insane. For what it's worth, he turned out to be a really good guy, and we are still close friends. I look back on it with even greater pleasure than I experienced at the time. It was a dumb idea that turned out completely fine.
5. You need to have dangerous brain surgery and must choose between two surgeons: one extremely gifted but a dishonest jerk; the other less skilled but very honest and friendly. Who would you pick?
    I would choose the second one, but certainly not because of "friendliness." Honesty is necessary in medical care. Whether someone is a jerk or not is beside the point; some doctors ARE jerks BECAUSE they are good at their job, and know it, and are unconcerned about the finer points of human interaction. I'm not seeing a doctor because they are soft and squishy and make me feel loved. If I want that, I will visit a cat. (Read, in this article, the sections relating to 'Orange' personality types, of which brain surgeons tend to be a prime example.)
6. A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke, as only someone who really knows you could, and makes you look completely ridiculous. How would you react? Would it matter if you knew that they pulled the prank to make you see a side of yourself that you were blind to? 
    I would be absolutely furious and deeply hurt. Any "good" friend of mine would realize that making me look completely ridiculous would
mortify me. 
    Also, if they did this specifically to SHOW me a side of myself that I'm blind to, I would cut them from my life, immediately and completely. Use your fucking words, you arrogant asshole, and don't do something hurtful, especially in public, that you could accomplish privately and from a perspective of friendship and kindness.
7. You and someone you love deeply are placed in separate rooms, each with a button next to you. You each know that you both will be killed unless one of you presses your button in the next 60 minutes. You also know that the first to hit the button will save the other, but immediately die. What would you do? 
    press the button as soon as I can get my hand on it
 
[from The Book of Questions; the title quotation is from Woody Guthrie]

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