only someone who is well prepared has the opportunity to improvise

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

    yep—doesn't everyone? No, really, I do that but only when it's something that needs rehearsing or especially clear brevity. For instance, if I call my dentist's office I try to use short words and phrases to express what's needed, because they are super busy and the front office is staffed with impatient people. 

    I will also choose to not answer the phone when certain people call, because I have to be in the right frame of mind to deal with them. A friend from the Flat tops this list; he overwhelms when I'm not prepared. We have great phone calls when I'm in the right mood and he's not too drunk. Matching those criteria, though, is hit-or-miss. Choosing to answer the phone is an act of will.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? 

    sleep until I can wake naturally (no alarms, no noisy neighbors, no external interventions); light breakfast, fruit and salad for lunch, more substantial dinner; read while curled up in a blanket and accompanied by a sleepy cat (and maybe share a nap midday); watch a good movie.

    The book would be something new to me, but that felt like an old friend. Probably literary fiction, with no intense drama and also nothing too sweet. 

    The movie would also be new, but prehaps featuring someone I particularly admire. Not too long (sigh), and funny enough to laugh out loud. And hot, buttery, salty popcorn alongside.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 

    surviving to advanced adulthood without lingering interpersonal drama. As far as I know, there's nobody who's still wishing me dead or actively hating me.

16. What do you value most in a friendship? 

    presence. Not all the time, not too close thank you, but please be there when I need you, and check in from time to time.

27. If you knew you were going to become a close friend with someone: share what would be important for him or her to know. 

I'm sensitive

    You've got to know that I'm very sensitive, despite being confident and sometimes abrasive.

    You've got to know that I'm incredibly loyal (which you might perceive as needy), but there are limits to any loyalty. Don't take it for granted, and feel free to be openly appreciative of it.

    You've got to know that I'm not an easy person to know, to be friends with, or to love. 

28. Tell your current—or a former—partner what you like about them; be very honest, saying things that you might not say otherwise

    He... 

        is protective without seeming threatening or stifling.

        can be incredibly sweet.

        tells a good story, well.

        is distressingly good-looking.

        behaves more admirably than he thinks he does.

        has a wonderful voice.

        is a joy to be around, especially when "not doing anything."

        drives well.

        is gentle and kind.

         

[based on "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings" by Arthur Aron, et. al, and adapted from "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love: Modern Love" by Daniel Jones, published January 9, 2015, a 9-year-old article that remains behind a paywall here but is republished in plenty of other places; the title quotation is by Ingmar Bergman]