I believe in intuitions and inspirations.... I sometimes FEEL that I am right. I do not KNOW that I am

1. Do you find it so hard to say no that you often end up doing favors you don't want to do? If so, why? 

    I am a reformed people-pleaser. I used to say Yes to everything and anything, agreeing to all sorts of stuff I didn't want to do, because failure to do so meant I was hard to work with, or unlikable, or selfish. It was a major element of several of my important relationships. 

    Separation, divorce, dating as an adult, job changes, moving, grief... all of that has, in different ways, changed my life. Now, I say No to everything and anything, refusing almost everything. Why? Because failure to do so means living vicariously. And because I came to realize that focus on other people to the detriment of oneself is an awkward way of living. And because it makes sense to me to take good care of myself—to "secure my mask first, and then assist the other person."

 

2. Do you trust your intuition? What important decisions in your professional life have you based largely upon intuition? What about in your personal life? 

    yes, I absolutely trust intuition, often quite strongly. It's my body's way of telling me how I feel about what I know.

    Instinct has nudged me toward or against a bunch of things, professionally. Accepting a job, committing to new responsibilities, determining fight or flight when disagreeing with a boss or colleague—all of these have been guided by intuition.

    More personally, many if not most decisions are made by consulting intuition first. Where to go on a trip, which book to buy, who among my friends is the go-to for something important, when to say enough is enough....

 

3. What is the most serious law you've broken doing something you thought was morally right, wouldn't hurt anyone, or was no one's business but yours? How bad would the punishment have been if you'd been caught and given the maximum sentence? 

     speeding. I have, at times, operated a motor vehicle far faster than they are intended to be driven on occupied public roads. The 'wouldn't hurt anyone' aspect of this is the hardest to justify, since the wildlife-to-vehicle ration is always probably a lot higher than makes speeding safe.  The punishment would have been a hefty fine except for a couple of times when it was probably too-fast-for-conditions as well, which might've brought it up to a jail time offense.

 

 4. If someone offered you a large bribe for privileged information about one of your company's products, would you take it? Assume you knew you wouldn't be discovered. 
no, I would not take it. I would feel icky if I sold my pride and professionalism for money.

    Anyway, regardless of whether anyone knows, or could find out, or has any stake in it at all—I could be disbarred for such a thing. I would never. 

 

5. How much better would your life be if your dreams came true? What dreams have you already achieved?

    be careful what you wish for. 

    If my dreams came true, I'd be married about 47 times over, and 46.5 of those would be inconceivably terrible marriages. I'd have longer legs and thicker hair and far smaller eyes. I'd be smarter in some ways and way less so in many others. I'd be ambitious and outgoing and dedicated. I'd be kinder and more committed and less needy. I'd be a better person.

    What dreams have I already achieved? I passed the bar exam. I finished my thesis. I stood up for myself in small ways (and a few big ways). I've seen the oceans, and an original Rothko, and bought myself some diamonds. I've known the love of a good man, two especially good cats, and the finest family one can imagine. Beyond that, everything is open.

 

6. If you were fated to be in a bad accident that would leave you either blind, deaf, or with amnesia that wiped away all your memories, which loss would be the worst? the easiest? 

    worst: blind. It seems like the most claustrophobic feeling in the world, and powerless to be alone, safely. But I would save a bundle on lightbulbs and books.

    easiest: deaf. I'd be far less annoyed by my neighbors, content to watch movies with the captions like always, and would never struggle to find the right music to play.

 

7. A cave-in occurs while you and an acquaintance are exploring a concrete armory deep beneath the ground in an old converted mine shaft. You learn that the entire shaft is now sealed and an air-hole being drilled won't reach you for 15 hours. If you both take sleeping pills from a medicine chest to slow your metabolism, the oxygen will still last only 10 hours. There's no way for you both to survive, but one of you probably could. What would you do if the other person took a sleeping pill, motioned toward a loaded pistol, said it was up to you, and nodded off? 

    "an acquaintance"? One who chooses to carry concealed while exploring a converted mine shaft? Who casually "nodded off" during a life-or-death decision? 

    Wait: back up. Why would I ever go underground, much less with someone of that ilk? Am I under duress? Am I rescuing particularly adorable kittens from a James Bond-esque villain? Is there a financial reward at stake? Is this a reality show?

     The first person that comes to mind while reading this prompt and considering what 'acquaintance' means in my life is a guy with whom I work. We are in roughly analogous roles, each working remotely (he's in the state with a big salt-water lake). We don't really know each other, have never met, wouldn't recognize each other if we passed on the street. And he is hands-down the most Golden Retriever-ish person I've ever encountered. Every morning he sends obscure holiday references to our work chat (as I write this, it's National Egg Nog Day). He responds to everything anyone else posts with either an emoji or—far worse—a sticker (and the Teams stickers are badly drawn and creepy). We assume he never has an unexpressed thought because he posts a steady stream of "I'm stepping out to make a snack" "Need to run out and get the mail" "Have to care for my niece for the next 38 minutes. I will work late today!" sorts of chatter. (The rest of us are not quite that assiduous about announcing our comings & goings, since a primary draw of this work is the flexibility.) 

    If I were trapped underground with someone I know in the same fashion as I do this dude, I'd take whatever steps necessary to get out of the situation... literally or figuratively.

 

 [from The Book of Questions; the title quotation is by Albert Einstein]