once upon a time there was a hazel-eyed boy with dimples

Do you take care of yourself outwardly—bathing, shaving, mode of dress, etc.—the same way when your significant other is not around? 

    this one made me snort aloud. Indeed, I do not bathe, shave, or dress for a significant other. Like any normal person, I will "dress up" when I have special plans, but that involves family and friends across the board. My phase of living partner-specific is in the past.

 

What is your most ticklish spot? 

    ribs, around the spot where my elbows naturally rest. I'm pretty ticklish all over, though, so keep away.

 

Are you self-conscious about any part of your body? 

    it would be faster and easier to name those parts that don't make me cringe or squirm or roll my eyes

 

Is there any time you've felt vulnerable during sex? 

    I don't recall the precise date and time, but....

    Yes, and I would be surprised if any hetero female hasn't felt that way at least once, if not all the time. There is a certain degree of physical vulnerability in the very nature of the act. That can be heightened or ameliorated by the relationship and behavior between the partners.

 

Do you have any sexual regrets? 

    is this a joke?

 

Have you ever told a complete stranger something that you've held back from a lover?      

    not a complete stranger, but someone I don't know very well and whose life only intercepts mine in a certain way—like a blog reader, for instance, or someone I meet at a professional conference—might hear more and different content than would my day-to-day friends, much less a partner. It's like having a therapist and not even having to pay for it, and no motivation for either to tell anyone else the specifics.

    I have a friend from work, a guy, someone I've never met face to face (and likely will not). We chat on Teams nearly all day long, every work day. In the past year, each of us have shared stuff that we've never told another living soul. Is it because we're closer than any other relationship in our lives? Or is it because we are friends, trust each other (because of the nature of the job, if for no other reason), and also protected by the fact that we are not in each others' lives in any other way? Probably so.  

 

Have you ever had a one-night stand? 

    Yes.

 

Have you ever rebounded and known you were doing so?

    the only time I really knew it was after my husband and I separated and the divorce was in process. I also failed at that, because the rebound was Nick and the process took 3 flippin years. 

 

How did you first learn about sex?   

    overhearing bragging boys' and giggling girls' chatter, TV and movies, books (especially books), trial and error, rumor, gossip, and practice practice practice

 

Who did you lose your virginity to? 

    I don't like this phrase. Why is it termed a loss?

    The first person with whom I had this experience was a kid (we were both kids) sort of from the neighborhood. We dated for a while beforehand, though not nearly long enough to actually know each other well. I wish I'd saved that honor, such as it is, for the next kid that came along, if not for someone I actually cared about. 

 

What is your aphrodisiac of choice? 

    focused conversation

 

Would you consider piercing a part of your body besides your ears? 

    I very, very briefly considered piercing my navel but ultimately realized that I'd rip the thing out in no time. Even ears are a dangerous spot sometimes.

 

Which body part would you like a partner to have pierced? 

    I'm not disturbed by guys' piercings—I was married to someone with a hole or two in his ears, after all—but it's not a feature I'd seek out. There is also at least one spot that I can think of that would be an immediate, vehement deal-breaker. 

 

Would you ever tattoo a partner's name on the place they love best? 

    ha! No. It seems like tapping on the door of the universe and asking for it all to go kablooie. Is this a hint that I don't believe in "forever"?

 

What is your favorite article of clothing that a partner has worn? 

    a dark green button-up shirt, which had a terrific texture, fit perfectly, and brought out something spectacular in their eyes

 

[pulled and adapted from 269 Red Hot XXX-Rated Questions; the title quotation is by Angie Thomas, from a novel called "The Hate U Give", which I have never read—and likely would not, with a title like that]