she was as forthright and simple as the winds that blew over Tara and the yellow river that wound around it

1 What's something you should throw away, but can't? 

    I've been in a closet-clearing phase lately. Kitchen stuff, collectibles, clothes, games, tools, and everything in between. Lots of clothes and a few pairs of shoes. Once I fill a paper grocery bag, I put it in the car to drop at the charity shop, and then open another bag to fill. 

    Same with the garage. Anything that's out there now is being sorted. If I want it badly enough to keep it, it's going into the basement furnace room. Otherwise it's being trashed, recycled, or donated.

    In other words, there's nothing I can't throw away—but it's also fair to say that there's a steady supply of things waiting to make that leap.

 

2 What's the best New Year's resolution you've ever made? 

    "no public mashing"

 

3 How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? 

    two: when I put in and take out my contacts 

4 When relaxing on the floor, do you sit cross-legged, fold your legs to one side, sit with your legs straight out in front of you, or recline? 

    cross-legged. I cannot kneel, because my knees will ache within moments. Sitting with my legs straight out would be uncomfortable for my back. Reclining would hurt both my wrists and my neck. It's hard to get old.

    Trying to find an appropriate photo to accompany this prompt, I discovered a chair that lets you sit cross-legged (and then some!). I think that would be freaking amazing, and I would probably sit on it all the time, not just for work.

5 How important is it to you that people remember, spell, and pronounce your name correctly? 

    I don't get too excited about it, because my name is easy. My former name, though... that was a challenge. It took me quite a while to learn to spell it. Members of my family never did learn it, and had to keep a sort of cheat sheet. The ways that it was pronounced were mostly hilarious, sometimes racist, and often obnoxious. When it was people that I already liked and cared about, it was not offensive and I took it more as a lack of knowledge than anything deliberately unfriendly. From a stranger, though? I'd get pretty ticked.

 

6 Do you usually send serious or humorous greeting cards? 

    I either send serious cards or stuff like the Arna Miller cards below. I have a hard time just sending a card, too, and usually feel compelled to write at least one side of the card top to bottom.

 

7 What do you admire most about your newest friend? 

    she is forthright and sensitive, both, and often at the same time. That is unusual in my experience. My family of origin is sensitive but almost never forthright. My recent romantic adventures have been profusely forthright but almost never sensitive. 

    One example of how she does these both at once: we're planning to meet for dinner. I say, "How about Restaurant Q?" She responds, "No, let's not go to Restaurant Q, because I'm not fond of it. What do you think about Restaurant V? You've talked about enjoying the food there." Not only do I now know not to suggest Q when we're together, I also know she's listened and remembered things I've said before. It might not sound like much, but over time it is refreshing, honest, and productive.

 

8 What was one vacation that lasted too long? 

    the first roadtrip taken with a then-boyfriend. We took the trip without really thinking about whether we were couple-y enough to travel together. It lasted longer than it should've; a long weekend would've been a better maiden voyage. We were both over-tired, having crammed too many activities into a short time. And we had started pre-fighting on the way home, each of us in different ways. By the time we arrived back home, he was aggressive and abrupt, and I was teary and frustrated. What an awful way to end that trip. 

 

9 To feel rested, how many hours of sleep do you need each night? 

    usually around seven. Any more than that and I start to get groggy and have a hard time waking up. Less than that and I'm drowsy for hours.  

 

 [from The Complete Book of Questions : 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion; the title quotation is by Margaret Mitchell, from Gone with the Wind]