Out on a Limb

Declaration: I will change the blog template before this weekend's over.

I found this survey in a classified location online, and I'd love to give attribution but it would reveal too much, so I'll just give a generic nod to the person through whom I found it. It's ungodly long, so it'll be interspersed with other stuff.

1) Starting time: 11:00 AM exactly.
2) Full name: My full name is 24 characters.
3) Nicknames: Aim, A, and a few that are single-use.
4) School: E Mich Univ--if all goes well, for only 21 more days.
5) email: I have 7 email addresses, one of which is readily accessible from this blog.
6) eyes: blue
7) Height: it's no secret--64 inches
8) Siblings: two, both older
9) Ever been kissed: yes
10) Ever cheat or been cheated on?: yes
11) Ever missed school because it was raining? no
12) Ever faked sick? yes, but I felt so guilty that it wasn't close to worth it
13) Kept a secret from everyone? yes (what value as a friend would I have if I couldn't keep secrets?)
14) Had an imaginary friend? no
15) Wanted to hook up with a friend? yes--particular circumstances apply
16) Cried during a Flick? yes, most often intentionally. Ghost, for example, was released the very day that my soul was crushed to a bloody fucking pulp by Russ G. I went to the movie by myself, sat in the back and stared at the screen unblinkingly while tears streamed down my face. I had to go again later to see what the film was actually about--I'd only wanted a socially-acceptable excuse to cry at first.
17) Who is your "star crush"? N/A. I'd be more likely to have a literary crush like the elusive Lawrence Selden in The House of Mirth or the wretched but beautiful John Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility. Willoughby has much in common with Russ, now that I think of it.
18) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nqy

Touching memory: The only time I ever skipped school, I was a senior and suffering through an English class that I shouldn't have been in. It was American lit designed for students who weren't destined for college. Not sure how I ended up there. It was difficult for me to pay attention because it went soooooo slowly. I'd read ahead in the assignments and then have to backtrack to answer questions in class. One day I was in the concourse (my high school was set up in two tiers, two floors of sort of balconies built around a large open area that was called the concourse, where we ate lunch and so most of the time it was filled with plasticated round-stools-attached tables, but the tables could be disassembled and moved out for dances and things. There are huge windows on one wall [actually, the whole wall is windows] looking out at the lake and the bluffs.) before class with my friend JCL. He was cajoling me to skip class and I was whining, "No, I've never done it, I can't do it, it's wrong, I'll get caught, I'll get in trouble, no, I can't...." And eventually we'd been yapping at each other for so long that there was no one else there--we were late for class. So he said, "It's tardy, or skip. What's it going to be?!" He smiled his devil-grin. What could I do?

We hustled to the music wing, which is closer to the lake (and freedom), ditched our backpacks in the band room (always safe because of my close personal relationship with the band director...actually because no one would ever think anything of there being 2 backpacks in there at any time of day), and just headed out the door. Walked out, kept going, got on the bike path, crossed the lake on the footbridge, and went toward the mall. I was practically hyperventillating with guilt. "This is so wrong! We're going to get caught! I shouldn't be doing this!" I think he eventually had to slap me. We went to K-Mart, of all things, because I was too paranoid to go to the mall. We were gone for an hour.

The next day, when we would be required to bring some sort of written excuse (from the principal's office!) for not having been in class, so I was busted, there was an unexpected assembly 5th hour [when my English class was held] because of some sports thing or other. Mr. Bailey never remembered to ask for my excuse. I didn't get caught.

So why do I still feel a little funky about having skipped that hour?

FAVORITES
19) Drink: Alcoholic--vodka sour (but beer is good, too); Non-Alcoholic--a tie between Coke and lemon green tea
20) Food: mmmmmm, bacon! No, no, no, before anyone gets all freaky, let me change that to a genre. "Pub food." French dip sandwiches, that sort of thing.
21) Restaurant: The Gandy Dancer in Ann Arbor? Their white chocolate mousse with hazelnuts and fresh raspberries is killer. But no, that place in Bethesda where that Asshole with the dreads stole our Creme Brulee...T--do you know what it was called? I was way too drunk to remember. As for places where I can eat without driving for 5 hours or (fucking) flying first, Johnny's for steak. Or Za-Za's for pasta.
22) Shampoo: Joico Kerapro shampoo, Aveda Rosemary Mint conditioner.
23) Color: blue, gray, black
24) Summer/Winter? autumn (am I being obtuse? wink)
25) Online/Offline? There's no way to answer this question without sounding like an ass, since I'm writing online but I live offline. Let's just say that, like heaven and hell, I have friends in both places.
27) Like anyone: What, do I like anyone? I would certainly fucking hope so, or I'm writing this with no audience.
28) Who have you known the longest out of your friends: Jennifer F, whom I met on my 5th birthday (8-27-75).
29) Who's the shyest? I have several shy friends, some for good reason and some because they're more obtuse than I am. Prehaps it would be r. Or maybe the CS.
31) Who do you go to for advice? Lately, I don't have to do any going--it comes to me. But there are a few in whom I put more trust than others, and they know who they are.
32) Who do you get along with? Like I'm mentally feeble enough to answer this question!

Question: Will I ever write the book[s] I want to write, or will I just go through my life thinking I'm a writer but not really writing?

IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS HAVE YOU:
33) Cried: yes
34) Been mean: yes
36) Been sarcastic: yes--I live for sarcasm!
37) Been yelled at: no, although it would be appropriate
38) Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes
39) Kissed someone? no
40) Hugged someone: yes
42) Wished upon a star: no
43) Laughed until you've cried: yes--thanks to [N.K], teller of nasty jokes and a thin piece of "American candy"
44) Played Truth or Dare: no
45) Watched a sunrise/sunset: yes
46) Went [geez, people, can you use proper grammar? Try "gone", if each of these is really to be a second clause to "In the last 2 weeks have you..."] to the beach at night: no, 'cause the dingey little Kish doesn't have beaches
49) Were you [i.e. "been"] lonely? yes
50) Were you [i.e. "been"] happy? yes
51) Have you talked to someone online? yes, exhaustively

Analysis: I work with a person who is really, really lame. They just started ticketing for Click It or Ticket nationwide, right? And they ran advertising pretty much everywhere, reminding us all to wear seatbelts or risk a ticket. So this woman, who's a flipping moron, gets a ticket on the first day that they're able to give them. $55, plus $24 for driving without registration (she left her insurance card at home) and a fine for something else. Because it ended up over $100, she has to appear--and pay court costs. She came in late and steaming mad.

About a week later, she got another one! Just for the seatbelt violation, but still, another $55! She's 32 years old. There has been a seatbelt law in this state for several years. It cannot have come as a surprise. She was all stuttery and blustery, "fat fucking cop" and stuff, but come on. Even Bart learned from the electrified cupcake after a while, didn't he?

This is my work environment. It's no wonder I'm desperate for intelligent conversation.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN......
52) God/Devil: not exactly
53) Love: ditto
54) The Closet Monster: no
56) Heaven/hell: no
57) Superstitions? yes (crazy, ironic, but true)
58) Half empty or half full: I'm shooting for "just half"
59) Who named you? Mom & Dad, but I'm lucky that Dad didn't hold sway or I'd have been Ann-Margaret. Hyphenated!
60) Favorite quote: Currently it's "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." (Dan Wilson)
61) When was the last time you showered? within 24 hrs of this point
62) What is the last thing u said online? probably "fuck"--I say it so often, it's a safe guess
63) What is right next to you?: to the left, a razor blade. to the right, my tea mug, mobile phone and Amy Mix CD.
64) What is your computer desk made of? plastic wood-look crap
65) What was the last thing that you did? This is one of the most idiotic questions I've ever tried to answer. The last legitimate work-like thing I did was to change location codes on the 23 books that were piled on my desk this morning.
66) Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? [5th]
67) Where do you want your wedding? [5th]
68) Where do you live?: in a house that looks pink but isn't, on a short street, in a town in which I do nothing but sleep
69) How's the weather? Lovely. 79°F, Fair, Feels Like 80°F, Humidity: 61%. The weekend looks like crap but today's beautiful.
70) What did you do last night? obsessed
71) What are you doing tonight? decompressing
72) How do YOU eat an Oreo? I don't. they're greasy and disgusting. If I want cookies, I'll make my own.
73) All time favorite TV show: Homefront? I'm not sure why but that one really got me. The combination of entertainment (Kyle Chandler is fucking hot) and World War II. Slightly more intellectual and thoughtful television. Whatever--I liked it, and I'm not apologizing.
74) Dream vehicle: I'm tempted to give my standard response (MG Midget), but I'm leaning more and more in the direction of a black Jaguar XK.
75) What do you want to be when you grow up? a grownup--with the minimum complement of baggage

Musing: My first mobile bill just arrived. Not sure why I'm paying for it, since I made 7 calls for a total of 5 minutes, but took5 calls for a total of 96 minutes--in 12 days.

I'm also not sure what I ever did without that phone.

76) Favorite music: I like a variety. I think I want to hear more Simple Plan and Postal Service. Semisonic, though, is doing it for me today.
77) Favorite band? see above. I don't think about "music" in any terms except bands because I'm basically a one-genre girl.
78) Favorite food? Haven't we done this already? I'll try a different one here--my college roommate Christine made a Butterfinger Torte that was killer.
80) Favorite days of the week? the earlier in the week, the better
81) Favorite animal? domesticated
82) Brand of clothing? I won't be tied down
83) If you could change your name, what would it be? Godforbid; I wanted to do this when I was 7 and I'd be Samantha Jennifer now. Eeeew. I'd be much more interested in finding out what the people who know me would re-name me, if they could.
84) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no
85) The most stupidest thing you have ever done? (other than to try to read this sentence as proper English? are you people on crack?!) This remains to be seen. However, using toilet paper as a substitute for gauze when I cut my leg on a broken window in college was pretty dumb, a sentiment that was brought home to me distinctly the morning after when I went to Health Service to have the glass removed and the nurse had to pull out the tp at the same time. That was an especially painful Tetanus shot, too.
86) First Son's name? n/a
88) First daughter's name? n/a
90) First Crush? Earl G, circa 1983. First kiss, behind the public lib. The site of my doom. He wasn't a bad guy and when we were in high school he tried to legitimize it somewhat. I'd moved on.
91) On the phone or in person? in person, duh
93) If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? Most simply, my location--for now.
94) Where were you born? CMH, Winona MN
95) What kind of pets do you have? feline
96) Who sent this to you? (see top)
97) What do you think about this person? n/a
98) Your favorite songs? read the blog and figure it out
99) Anything you want to say to everyone? obviously--that's why I have a blog
100) Do you want your friends to do this survey? sure.
101) Time Finished: 12:41, tho I haven't worked straight through.